The Uncanny Kid Razor
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 86 up! Kid Razor, the Marvel Universe's 1st rock 'n' roll superhero, gets the URMverse treatment! Next: The heroes find the Inducer, which leads to a shocking surprise for Cap! RR PLEASE! Suggestions needed badly
1. Just Another Day in Cleveland!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Hey there, fans! L1701E here! I'm doing this fic with some help from the Uncanny R-Man, and it's set in his version of the Marvel Universe. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: All non-Marvel characters are mine.**

**_Chapter 1: Just Another Day In _****_Cleveland_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

Cleveland, Ohio. It wasn't the most well known major city in the United States of America, but it was rapidly becoming a well-known city because, like New York, the city of Cleveland, home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, had its own superhero. A superhero known as Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor. Kid Razor happened to be sitting on top of a skyscraper. The teenage superhero looked a little like a pro wrestler merged with a glam rocker.

His mane of long blond hair blew in the slight breeze. His face was covered by Ultimate Warrior-esque face paint, red with streaks of black-and-white. He was clad in an old Iron Maiden t-shirt, with a sleeveless red leather jacket over it. The jacket had patches of black-and-white zebra print on the shoulders, and on the back was his insignia, a winged razor blade. The shirt was tucked into a pair of red wrestling-style tights kind of like the pro wrestler Shawn Michaels, only Razor's tights had black-and-white razor blades on them. He also had on white wrestling-style boots with red-and-black fringe. His hands were covered by red wristcuffs with a black-and-white razor blade on each one. On his back, was a red Gretsch guitar with a black-and-white zebra print fretboard and chrome pickups. The guitar channeled a mystical energy known as the Power of Rock, and it was the source of Kid Razor's amazing rock 'n' roll-based powers. He looked down at the streets of Cleveland and smiled.

"Ahhh, the Kid of Rock loves his people." Kid Razor took his guitar, put it in a playing position, then plucked the strings. His body got covered by a forcefield of rainbow energy, and then he dived off the building like it was a springboard. Being unable to feel fear, Razor pretty much did what he wanted. The super-powered guitar player saw the ground come up closer and closer to his face. Normally, this would scare the pants off any normal person, but Razor only had a smirk on his face. Just when he was about to hit the ground, he pulled up and streaked into the sky, whooping and laughing the whole way.

"You are a nut, you know that, Bobby?" A disembodied voice said to Razor. Razor sighed. Kid Razor's real name was Robert Parkins. He was just an ordinary teenager until one day. One day, he felt strangely drawn to a pawn shop, where he found himself buying a strange guitar that looked like the guitar of a glam rocker he idolized. Once he put it on and tried to play it, he was transformed into Kid Razor, the living embodiment of Rock 'n' Roll.

"Oh relax, Ronnie." Razor laughed. "I would've survived it." A translucent man appeared next to Razor, floating alongside him, a blue aura around his body. He appeared to be in his early thirties. His hair was a blond mullet, and his green eyes were decorated by sea green and blue eyeliner. He was clad in a silver bodysuit with sea green and blue lightning bolts on his shoulders. The man was named Ronnie Rocker. In the 70s and 80s, he ruled the arenas and the rock scene, but he died in a car accident in England over ten years ago. An amulet he wore around his neck at the time trapped his soul in his guitar when it merged with the instrument. Through unknown means, the guitar made its way to Cleveland, Ohio, and into the hands of Kid Razor.

"Yeah, yeah." Ronnie rolled his eyes. "So, anything going down in the streets of Cleveland?"

"Not really." Razor shook his head. "The Kid of Rock's super hearing hasn't picked up anything. It's quieter than a theater when Gigli premiered."

"Oh brother." Ronnie rolled his eyes. "So, how's Joan?" Ronnie was talking about Joan Frehley, an amateur reporter who dated Razor as his civilian alter ego. Razor shrugged.

"She's doing fine. You know what, I just realized something." Razor blinked.

"What?"

"You remember Selene?" Razor asked.

"That psycho witch?! If it weren't for her, I'd still be alive!" Ronnie growled.

"Well, she's just plain disappeared. We haven't heard hide nor hair of the old hag." Razor said. **(1)**

**(1) In the URM-verse, Selene lost most of her powers and is now dating the Thing. **

"I'm flamin' glad. I guess she finally took the hint and gave up trying to get your guitar." Ronnie chuckled.

"Yeah." Razor chuckled. His superhuman hearing picked up a cry for help. "Come on, Ron! There's a show to play!"

"Far out." Ronnie grinned. "I'll watch over you if you need anything."

**Downtown ****Cleveland**

"Man, this is great!" The Shocker grinned as he walked out of the bank, with a completely demolished front. "Man, coming to Cleveland was worth it! That idiot Spider-Man can't stop me now."

"No, but maybe you'd like to fight someone who _could_ kick Spidey's butt." A voice said. The Shocker turned around and he saw Kid Razor hovering above the ground, arms crossed, and amused look on his face. Ronnie was floating next to Razor, but only Razor could see him. "You might want to put that money back." Razor said as he landed on the ground and his forcefield disappeared. "And who are you supposed to be, Quilt-Man?"

"I'm the Shocker, and you're dead." Shocker said nonchalantly as he fired his sonic vibration blasters at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. Razor quickly thrust his guitar in front of him. The blast hit the mystical instrument, sending the rockstar flying into the wall.

"Ugh…" Razor groaned, shaking his head and getting to his feet. "Man, I'm sore. The Kid of Rock says he's going to feel _that_ tomorrow." One of Razor's powers was a unique power called 'physical invulnerability'. It basically meant Kid Razor could not be hurt by punches, kicks, physical blows, pressure, or being thrown into walls, even though he still felt the pain and still could be knocked out. His forcefields protected him from blades, beams, and projectile weapons.

"Oh God, can't I get a break?!" Shocker groaned. Kid Razor smirked.

"Not really, Quilt-Man." Razor grinned. He fired an energy beam from his guitar's head at the Shocker, knocking him into the bank vault's door.

"I hate this city." Shocker growled as he got to his feet.

"Awwwww whadda madda, wittle Quilt-Boy angwy?" Razor mocked.

"YOU BET, YOU BIGMOUTH!!!" Shocker roared, firing his vibro-blasters. Razor's superhuman agility, flexibility, and reaction time allowed him to easily dodge the energy blasts before they even reached him.

"You suck!" Kid Razor laughed as he backflipped onto a counter and leapt off in one fluid move, knocking Shocker back with a flying clothesline, landing into a somersault.

"Gonna fry yah!"

"Can't you do better than that?" Razor asked in a bored cocky tone as he leapt and flipped out of the way of Shocker's vibro-blasts. "I'd better end this before it becomes any more embarrassing." Razor plucked his guitar, then leapt over an energy blast, landing right in front of the Shocker's face.

"Wha-?"

"GLAM FLASH!!!" Razor's face paint created a huge flash of light, blinding the villain.

"AGH! HELP ME! I CAN'T SEE!" The Shocker screamed, covering his face. "OH GOD!!!!" Razor charged up his fist with the Power of Rock, causing it to glow with rainbow light.

"Heavy…" Razor cocked back his fist. "_Metal…_" He threw his punch. "**_PUNCH!!_**" Razor's fist collided with Shocker's jaw, and the super-charged punch exploded, sending the Shocker flying into a police car that had pulled up, knocking him silly.

"But mommy, I don't want to ride the magic teacups…" Shocker mumbled. Razor walked out and made a 'smoking gun' motion.

"Man, I love being the Kid of Rock." He took to the air and flew off. Soon after, he was joined by Ronnie.

"Hey Bobby, don't you have to meet Spencer in Cincinnati?" Ronnie reminded. Spencer was Spencer Burton, a teenage genius from Cincinnati, Ohio. A friend of Razor's, Spencer built a blue suit of armor that gave him superhuman speed, and the ability to fire sonic blasts, and he became Cincinnati's Iron Speedster, Sonic Blue.

"Yeah." Razor nodded. "C'mon! Let's go."

_Next: Kid Razor pays a visit to Sonic Blue, as Sonic Blue prepares to visit a 'friend' for Christmas._


	2. Just Waitin' on a Friend!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I'm glad you liked the story so far! I read Chapter 4 of "The Uncanny New Avengers" and I enjoyed it. I'm glad you mentioned Razor. Yeah, the Shocker is very lame. Who is this "Friend" of Sonic Blue's? Find out next! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Haretrigger: Yep, just another day in Cleveland__Ohio__. Yeah, the Shocker can't get himself a break. First Spider-Man, then Kid Razor. I think his costume is rather unique. I think it looks like that Because of his vibro-shock blasters. Insulation is the name of the game, I believe. I originally intended for the guitar to emit the flash of light for the 'Glam Flash', but I decided it'd be easier and cooler for Razor's face paint to do it, and it would give the paint another purpose besides looking cool and helping Razor hide his identity. Who is Spencer's "Friend"? Find out! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "This is your arm magnified 1000 times." -Ryan Stiles, Who's Line is it Anyway?**

_**Chapter 2: Just Waitin' on a Friend**_

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

Standing in front of a prison was a teenaged boy, clad in some unusual wares. He was clad in armor that looked like Iron Man's old "Silver Centurion" armor, only all the red was replaced with bright shiny blue. Sleek, futuristic blue sonic blasters were mounted around the lower arms of the armor. The silver upper arms and upper legs had a black lightning bolt zigzag stripe going down them, and over the collarbones, the armor's chest plate had two silver lightning bolts that almost formed a V. Instead of a helmet, the boy wore a visor similar to Cyclops's visor. The front of the visor was translucent and blue, covering his blue eyes. The earlocks of the visor were white, and had blue metallic bird-like wings jutting out the sides. His brown hair went down to his shoulders, but it was put up in a ponytail, and his long bangs were allowed to run free. In is civilian identity, he was Spencer Burton, a kid born with the remarkable IQ of 325, but in the armor, he was Sonic Blue, Cincinnati's own Iron Speedster. His armor gave him superhuman speed, limited super strength, a lot of durability, and the ability to fire blasts of blue sonic power at enemies. He paced up and down in front of the prison's front door.

"C'mon, where is he?" Spencer sighed. "You think that that egomaniac can stop mugging in front of the cameras for five minutes to…" His armor's sensors warned him of an approaching object. He turned around and looked up. Kid Razor was coming in for a landing.

"Sorry the Kid of Rock was late. He had to deal with a moron in a yellow quilt." Razor grinned as he landed in front of Spencer. "Not to mention teach all those super-jerks in New York how it's done. As well as smack that crybaby wuss Cyclops in the mouth. And get more pictures of the Invisible Woman in the shower."

"You know, they got a new team of Avengers going in California." Spencer chuckled. Razor scowled.

"Typical, if it ain't New York, it's friggin' LA!" Razor grumbled. "They care about New York and California, but do those costumed jerks care about Ohio and Middle America? _Noooooooooooooo_ Luckily, they got us." Spencer chuckled. He knew that when Razor started ranting, the best thing to do was simply to ignore him until he finished.

"Yeah, yeah." Spencer chuckled. He sighed when he remembered where he was, and he looked at the red-wrapped present in his hand. "Well, you know why I'm here."

"Yeah." Razor looked at the prison. "You now, he doesn't exactly like you much."

"It's Christmas, Razor. I figured that it'd be nice, considering it's the season." Spencer replied, walking inside.

"Whatever, man. It's your neck he wants to break, not mine." Razor sighed as he followed. The two rookie heroes, known as 'The Ohio Connection', went through the check-in, then they went and found their target. In a futuristic-looking cell with a red forcefield. Inside the cell was a teenage boy. He was clad in an orange jumpsuit…and red running shoes. His long brown hair went over his handsome features, and his brown eyes gleamed with hatred and rage. He also happened to be in a wheelchair. "I'll leave you two alone, man." Razor walked off to the side, and crossed his arms. Spencer removed his visor, revealing his blue eyes.

"Hello, Keith. I came to visit." Spencer said. The wheelchair-bound teenager looked up and snarled.

"Come to gloat, Spencer?" Keith Michaels snarled. "Come to rub the fact you took my life away from me in my face?! Come to tease me about not being able to walk?! Well COME ON!!!!" Spencer shook his head.

"No Keith, I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas, man." Spencer sighed. "Look, I know you never liked me, but I thought I'd come visit. Spirit of the season, and all." Spencer smiled. Razor looked over at Keith.

_The Kid of Rock has heard that this guy is messed up in the head._ Razor thought. He remembered what Spencer had told him about Keith. Keith Michaels and Spencer Burton went to school together, and they were both on the school track team. Keith was the fastest runner there, and he was known as "Redfoot" because of the red running shoes he always wore when he ran. Keith was very arrogant and his status only served to swell his big ego. Spencer was his alternate on the team. Spencer could match Keith's stats on the track, and that angered and horrified Keith, and it made him very paranoid about where he stood on the team. Keith's arrogance became his downfall. During a battle with a super-villain, Keith ignored the police and got too close to the battle so he could get a closer look. As a result, Spencer accidentally nailed him with a sonic blast, causing Keith to hit a car spine-first, and it made him a paraplegic. _I don't know much about this loon, and Spencer has no idea how Keith managed to get his armor._ Razor was referring to Keith's Redfoot armor. It looked just like Spencer's, only bright red replaced the blue, the black and silver were reversed, and the visor had red bat-like wings on the sides. The armor gave Keith all of Spencer's powers, and it allowed him to walk and to run. "Careful, Spence. The Kid of Rock thinks that this guy may try something. You should know, man. After all, you know about him, and his tendency to be…rather brutal."

"Yeah, Spencer…" Keith snickered evilly. "You should know." Spencer glared. Keith had let himself fall into madness since his paralysis, choosing to blame Spencer for his current condition.

"Look Keith, I'm trying to put the past behind us, man. I know that you never liked me much, but I tried to be friends with you. I never was out to get you or anything." Keith burst out laughing, interrupting Spencer.

"Yeah right!" Keith laughed. "I know what it's like to be on top, Spencer. I know that once you're the best, people will sell their souls to take your spot." The paraplegic glared hard at Spencer. "I could tell from day one that you were out to take my spot. Track was my way out. It was my dream to be a legendary runner, like Jesse Owens."

"Why don't you try basketball? There are wheelchair basketball teams." Razor asked semi-jokingly. Keith glared at the super-powered rocker.

"I swear to God, Kid Razor, I will break out of here, get my armor back, and rip you in two." Keith snarled, a murderous gleam erupting in his eyes. Razor smirked.

"What're you gonna do, Redfoot? Smash me upside the head with a spare wheelchair tire?" Razor fired his trademark cocky smirk.

"Razor, knock it off." Spencer said. He turned back to Keith. "Look man, I got you something." Spencer opened a door in the wall next to the forcefield. Spencer put the gift in, and closed it. Keith wheeled over to the wall and opened up a door. He pulled out the present and opened it.

"A yearbook?" Keith blinked. He looked up at Spencer.

"Look at the Track section." Spencer grinned. Keith opened the book and looked in the Track & Field section. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped slightly. There was a picture of the track team. And in that picture were Keith and Spencer in the front. The caption had the name of the team and under it were the words: "Keith Michaels and Spencer Burton: Ohio's Fastest". Keith looked up at Spencer. "A new yearbook?"

"Yeah." Spencer nodded. "I had that one put in. The team was in its glory days with us in it."

"I heard the team was just fine with you." Keith scowled. "You're the top man now, Spencer. You destroyed me to get it. Enjoy it."

"I just enjoy running, Keith." Spencer replied.

"I hoped to go to the Olympics one day." Keith grumbled. "Now look at me. I'm a cripple! Thanks to you, I can't live my dream. How can I run without feeling my legs?"

"Ever heard of the Special Olympics?" Razor rolled his eyes. Keith snarled.

"That's for retards!" Keith roared.

"Razor, knock it off!" Spencer said sharply. Razor shrugged and re-crossed his arms. "Keith, it is possible to live a full and healthy life as a paraplegic."

"I died the minute you crippled me, Spencer." Keith growled. "I was a hero, Spencer. I made the team look good. No else could touch me. Until you joined. I could tell, Spencer. I could tell you were after my spot. Everybody wanted to take me down. You know how it is. They put you on a pedestal, and then they knock you down. I was _not_ going to let anyone knock me off. Especially you, Spencer."

"Oh get over yourself, Michaels." Razor groaned. Keith chose to ignore the remark by the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.

"Keith, I hope you like the present." Spencer smiled. A clock in his armor beeped an alarm. "Sorry Keith. I gotta go." He put on his visor and zipped off. "See you around! Merry Christmas, Keith." Razor stared at Keith.

"This changes nothing." Keith growled. "Redfoot shall return. I _will_ destroy Spencer for crippling me." Razor huffed.

"Whatever you say, Red." Razor smirked. "Besides, Spencer always kicks your butt. And _I_ did one time." Razor walked off. "I'm going back to Cleveland. I got talk shows to be on and the Kid of Rock just thought up this awesome Avengers joke he just _has_ to tell on national TV." Keith watched the two heroes walk away. He looked down at the picture in the yearbook. He stared at it for several minutes. He screamed and threw the book at the wall in rage.

"SPENCER BURTON!!!! I WILL MAKE YOU _PAY!!!!_ YOU HEAR ME, BURTON!!! I WILL BREAK YOUR NECK, BURTON!!!! YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!"

_Next: Kid Razor Live!_


	3. Kid Razor's Night Live!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Well, Spencer kind of blames himself a little for Keith becoming Redfoot, despite the fact that it was not one bit Spencer's fault that Keith ended up in his current state. Keith's own arrogance and paranoia got him down this path. Razor enjoys taunting villains, so he wouldn't mind cracking a joke at Redfoot's expense. Well, when Kid Razor has a camera in his face, expect something to go down. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Yeah, Keith absolutely **loathes** Spencer, and it would be brutal once he busts out. Yes, I have thought about it, but Redfoot is not a team player. He's pretty far gone where his sanity is concerned, and he has an ego the size of Dr. Doom's castle **(Dr. Doom: BAH!!)**. I'm glad you liked the reference to Uncanny New Avengers. This fic and that one are in the same universe, so naturally, it'd be all connected. What'll Razor say? Find out next! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Enough talk!" - ****Arnold**** Schwarzenegger as Conan, Conan the Destroyer**

**_Chapter 3: Kid Razor's Night Live!_**

**A television studio dressing room, Cleveland**

"Oh dear God…" Ronnie Rocker sighed as he watched Razor preen himself and pose in front of a mirror. _I'm dreading this. Every time we go on TV, Kid Razor has to run his mouth. Although I had to admit, the last interview was pretty funny. I did get a good laugh from the joke Razor told about the Friends of Humanity and Farmer Brown's pig._ Ronnie chuckled.

"Hey Ronnie, how do I look?" Razor grinned as he made a face in the mirror. "Oh yeah…" he started shadow boxing, talking like Muhammad Ali. "I'm pretty! I'm young and I'm pretty! You can't hit me 'cause I'm so pretty!" Ronnie groaned.

"Just try and not anger anybody." Ronnie groaned. "Like last time."

"So I ruffled the feathers of a few FoH jerks. Big deal." Razor rolled his eyes. "They set themselves up for it all the time. And the audience got a good laugh out of it. And the Kid of Rock saw you clutch your sides."

"Yeah, yeah." Ronnie chuckled. A knock was heard at the door. "I'll keep it down."

"Come in." Razor called. An assistant peeked in.

"You're on in five minutes, Kid Razor." The assistant reminded.

"No prob, babe." Razor smirked. "This is going to be great." The assistant nodded, smiled, and closed the door.

"I'm going to go see what the audience is like." Ronnie grinned. He flew away through the door. Razor looked at himself in the mirror. He noticed something stick out of his jacket pocket. Razor pulled an object out of his jacket and smirked at it. It was a lock of long jet black hair.

"Heh. Hard to believe I managed to slice this right off Selene's big head." Razor chuckled to himself. "I wonder what the old hag is up to. It's been too long since I smashed her right upside the mouth with my guitar."

**Five minutes later**

The television audience clapped as the show began. The set looked like any average late-night talk show, complete with background of a city.

"Welcome to the Raymond Zed Show! And here's your host, Raymond Zed!" An announcer whooped. Raymond Zed ran out, flashing a toothy grin. He was a man in his 30s, in a loud blue-and-black suit-and-tie, with his black hair done up in a flashy manner. He ran behind the desk.

"Thank you, thank you! I'm Raymond Zed, and today, we have a very special guest. He's Cleveland's very own superhero, and he's also a superstar rock musician! Ladies and gentlemen, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor!" Raymond clapped as Razor walked out to the stage. He had put his wild blond hair in a ponytail, and attached the lock of Selene's hair to the underside of the band used to pull his hair back. Whenever Razor walked, it looked like he strutted, showing his greatness to the world. He shook Raymond's hand and sat down on a chair next to the desk.

"Comfy chair. Mind if the Kid of Rock steals it after the show?" Razor asked jokingly. The audience and Raymond laughed.

"Same as ever, Kid Razor. You always have something to say." Raymond chuckled.

"You bet!" Razor grinned.

"Alright, Razor. It has been announced that the old West Coast Avengers are making a comeback, and the roster includes veteran members and original West Coast Avenger members Hawkeye and Tigra, and they are stationed in Malibu. As a fellow costumed hero, how do you feel about that?" Razor mulled over Raymond's question.

"Well, to be honest with you Ray, The Kid of Rock doesn't really care. He's not surprised really, what with the nostalgia wave going on. Old franchises making comebacks, that's all it is." Razor smirked. "Although, to be fair, Hawkeye's a good guy. As for Tigra…" Razor's face assumed an evil grin. "Well…Tigra shags like a minx, that's all I got to say about that."

"Oh, _man!_" Ronnie Rocker moaned, dropping his face into his hands in embarrassment. He was floating above the audience, but they couldn't see or hear him. "I'm glad this show isn't national, or else we'd be in big trouble…Oh, who am I kidding?! They'll hear about this!"

"Only you would say something like that, Razor." Raymond chuckled.

"Well, yeah. Also, the Kid of Rock's not surprised that if heroes are not establishing HQ in New York, then in freakin' California!"

"So, where do you think there should be more costumed heroes?" Ray asked.

"I think that those other heroes…That Xavier Sanction whatever, the Avengers, the Fantastic Four…it's pretty obvious to everyone here that none of them has ever given a royal #$#$ about Middle America." Razor rolled his eyes. "Think about it. In California, there were the Champions back in the day, and the original West Coast Avengers back in another day, and now the new West Coast Avengers. In New York, everyone else. Back in Jolly Olde England, they had Excalibur. And in all this time, how many superheroes operated anywhere in Midwestern America?"

"As far as I know, just you and Sonic Blue in Cincinnati." Ray blinked.

"Exactly." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock don't know about you Ray, but he also thinks that those other heroes have lost touch with…" He waved out to the audience. "The people. You see, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor has made a point of standing up for the people of Cleveland. The Kid of Rock was born and bred here. He is a proud member of the Tribe, and I saw "Major League" 60 times!" With that, the audience howled and cheered.

"Here, here!"

"You rock, Razor!"

"Thank you, thank you." Razor got up and took a couple bows before sitting down again. "Man, this _is_ a nice chair." Ronnie sighed.

"There he goes again." The former glam-rocker moaned. "And to think, I gave up going out on the go-kart track with Keith Moon for this." He thought about what he just said. "Wait a minute, maybe that was a _good_ idea. Moon's nuts behind the wheel of a lawnmower and the last thing I need to see right now are more dead chauffeurs."

_Next: More insanity from Kid Razor's world!_


	4. Clash of the Tiny Minded!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I'm glad you liked the last chapter, dude! I can hardly wait for you to put up the next chapter of "The Uncanny New Avengers"! I want to see how Tigra reacts to what Razor said about her! I can really imagine that it wouldn't be that good. When will Kid Razor meet up with Selene again? Well, if I were Reed or Sue Richards or Johnny Storm, I would make sure Kid Razor never finds out about what happened to the ex-Black Queen. If he does…it wouldn't be very pretty. I don't think I'll have Razor and Selene meet up again anytime soon. It would be a lot easier on everyone. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Can we go home now?" - Raven, Teen Titans**

**_Chapter 4: Clash of the Tiny-Minded_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

**_CRASH!!!_**

An over seven-foot-tall figure, wearing a black muscle shirt and crashed through a window of a bar. Upon closer inspection, the huge, muscular body was shown to be covered in brown fur, and he had long black hair. His head appeared to be that of a wooly mammoth, complete with the large ears, tusks and trunk. His birth name was Arnold Torrence, but Kid Razor knew him as Tusk. He and Razor brawled many a time, but Tusk wasn't a true supervillain. He was more of a nuisance than anything else. Razor smirked as he stepped through he shattered window.

"Tusky, Tusky, Tusky." Razor crossed his arms and shook his head in a disappointed manner. "Can't you keep yourself out of trouble for one day?"

"Hey, _he_ started it!" The mammoth-like mutant snapped as he got to his feet and pointed behind Razor. "Go smack Horn-Head over there around!"

"I'm gonna _kill_ you, you elephant-faced mother#$#$#$!!!!" A voice with an accent that sounded like a little mix of Brooklyn and Russian roared behind Razor. Razor turned and jumped out of the way as what appeared to be a large muscular man in a rhino costume leapt through the hole and smashed into Tusk. The costumed man was known as the Rhino, a regular foe of Spider-Man. Rhino was no lightweight himself. His costume was as tough as the hide of the animal he got his name from, and he had phenomenal strength, not to mention he could charge at speeds of up to 100 miles an hour. The two super-strong beings started grappling and punching each other's lights out. Razor blinked at the brawlers.

"Has anyone ever told either of you you're both morons?" Razor said. He then rolled his eyes and smacked his forehead with his palm. "Oh _duh!_ I keep reminding Tusk of how stupid he is, and I'm sure Spidey's kept light on the fact you're legally retarded yourself, Rhino-Boy." Razor grumbled as he watched Tusk and Rhino brawl. A Cleveland PD squad car pulled up to the scene, and two plain-clothes cops emerged. One was a man in his late thirties, with black hair in a crew cut, intense brown eyes, and clad in a white shirt, red tie, black slacks, and an old brown trenchcoat, with his badge around his neck. The other was a young woman in her early twenties with short blonde hair. She was clad in a white t-shirt with a brown jacket and blue jeans. She had a badge around her neck as well. The man was Sgt. Harold Polanski, a former NYPD officer who didn't like Razor much. In fact, he didn't like anybody in costumes. The woman was his partner, Sgt. Amanda Briscoe **(A/N: RIP Jerry Orbach. I loved Law and Order, and I gave Briscoe her name as a tribute to the show)**. They were Razor's two favorite cops. Razor loved to annoy Polanski and flirt with Briscoe. "Hey guys! About time you showed up!" Razor grinned. Polanski growled.

"What's going on here?"

"Retard fight." Razor quipped.

"Okay Razor, what did you say to them?" Polanski growled.

"Nothing." Razor grinned. He looked at Briscoe. "Hey Briscoe, the Kid of Rock hoped you'd frisk him sometime, heh heh."

"Is that…The Rhino?" Briscoe blinked as she saw Tusk and Rhino brawled. "What's he doing here in Cleveland? I thought he operated in New York."

"Supervillains buy plane tickets too, babe. Rhino probably came here to get away from Spider-Man." Razor shrugged. He then looked at Polanski. "Isn't it true he once gave you a huge wedgie back when you were with the NYPD?" Razor smirked. Polanski's face flushed red with embarrassment, and Briscoe started snickering.

"That…never…happened…" Polanski snarled through gritted teeth.

"He did?" Briscoe snickered.

"Yeah." Razor laughed. "Huge atomic wedgie. So big, his underwear went to the top of the Chrysler building!"

"That…never…happened…" Polanski snarled, face turning red.

"Uhm Razor, don't you think you should do something about this?" Briscoe pointed behind Razor. The Heavy Metal Heartbreaker turned around and saw Tusk smash Rhino in the groin with a lamppost.

"Yeah, I'd better." Razor sighed. He charged up his guitar and fired a Power of Rock beam at Tusk, sending the screaming mutant flying into a fireworks shop. Explosions and squeals of fireworks going off were heard and seen, accompanied by Tusk's screams. Rhino whimpered as he laid on the ground in a fetal position, clutching himself.

"Mommy…"

"The Kid of Rock believes that you can take it from here." Kid Razor grinned at the two cops, before flying off. Polanski grumbled.

"I hate this town." The grizzled cop grumbled. The Ultimate Rockstar flew happily over the buildings of Cleveland. Razor suddenly burst out laughing, while Ronnie looked worried.

"Man, another great interview courtesy of Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor." Razor grinned to himself as he remembered the interview with Raymond Zed. Ronnie sighed.

"Razor, you essentially made a claim that you shagged Tigra, and that she was great. You did your classic 'Old Man Cap' and 'Top Ten Reasons why Cyclops is a Dork' bits, and may I add, you cracked a joke about J. Jonah Jameson and a horse that my mom would beat me into next year if she heard me repeat it!" Razor laughed at Ronnie's exclamation. "You do realize that your mouth tends to annoy people very badly, right?"

"Yeah, so?" shrugged Razor.

"Well, I was thinking…I know you think those other heroes are just opening acts to you…" Ronnie started.

"I _am_ the greatest, baby!" Razor whooped. Ronnie sighed.

"Razor, those other heroes won't take too kindly to being insulted like that all the time. You already got Cyclops wanting to kick you in the mouth, and let's not talk about why you're banned from the Baxter Building!"

"Yeah, those FF are jerks, I swear." Razor grumbled. "Take one picture of the Invisible Woman, and all hell breaks loose!"

"She was in the shower!" Ronnie exclaimed.

"It was worth it." Razor smirked.

_Next: Even more insanity from Kid Razor's little corner from the Marvel Universe!_


	5. In the Eyes of a Stranger

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! Yep, a fight between Tusk and the Rhino. I thought the groin shot would be good for a laugh, especially since we're talking the Rhino getting a groin shot would be good for a laugh or two. I can hardly wait for the next chapter of "The Uncanny Wolverine". Do I have any plans for Razor to meet other heroes? I'd love that to happen, but it is difficult considering most of them are in __New York__ and Razor's in __Cleveland__. I don't know if he'll find out about Bullseye's death for a while. Razor's not able to keep up with such news easily. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there Todd Fan! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Enjoy this new one!_

**Disclaimer: "Hail to the king, baby." - Bruce Campbell as Ash, Army of Darkness**

**_Chapter 5: In the Eyes of a Stranger_**

**A store in Cleveland, Ohio**

We focus on an aisle in an average store in Cleveland, Ohio. At the aisle, stood a teenage boy, with short brown hair and green eyes, putting chip bags in the shelves. He had an average build. He was dressed in an old Iron Maiden concert shirt, yellow wristbands, blue jeans, and black sneakers. Over that, he had a red apron with the shop's logo on it. He had a guitar strapped on his back with a green-and-blue ringed planet shaped body. The guitar was known as the 'Ringer', the famous guitar of the late glam rock legend Ronnie Rocker. The boy's name was Robert Parkins, and unbeknownst to the world, Bobby was the civilian alter-ego of Kid Razor, Cleveland's Favorite Son, the Fearless One. He also happily happened to be whistling Judas Priest's "Living after Midnight". A pair of hands covered Bobby's eyes.

"Guess who?" A feminine voice said. Bobby thought it over.

"Uh…The She-Hulk in a bikini?" Bobby blinked.

"You wish." The voice laughed as the hands left his eyes. Bobby turned around and saw a pretty teenage girl with long brown hair and brown eyes. She was clad in a red, white, and blue t-shirt patterned after Captain America's costume, and blue jeans as well as silver bracelets around her wrists. She smiled at Bobby.

"Oh hey Joan." Bobby grinned at his girlfriend. Joan Frehley **(A/N: Guess which two rock legends her name comes from)** was Bobby's girlfriend. She wanted to a reporter (her father worked at a news company), and she had written columns for the school paper **(A/N: I know, I know it's cliché, but it works)**. One of her subjects was Kid Razor. She didn't hate the Ultimate Rockstar, but she often berated the fearless hero's arrogance and seemingly universe-sized mouth. Razor liked Joan, and he respected her candor, and he was very willing to defend himself to her. "What's up?"

"Just waiting for you to come on break so we could have lunch together." Joan chuckled. "I just wrote a new column, and I want you to look at it."

"What's it about, Kid Razor's inability to shut his mouth?" Bobby grinned. Joan laughed.

"No, not this time." Joan shook her head. "This one's about Sonic Blue. I'm talking about his impact on Cincinnati."

"Yeah, Sonic Blue's a big hit." Bobby added. "Kid Razor and Sonic Blue work together all the time. They're quite the team. In fact, Kid Razor once called them 'The Ohio Connection'." Suddenly, a scream was heard. "What?" A zombie woman roared as she busted her way through a crowd of people. "Joan, get out of here!" Bobby snapped. "I got this!" Bobby ran to the zombie, only to get backhanded by the zombie woman. Bobby was sent flying over the shelves.

"_Bobby!_" Joan screamed. Bobby landed hard next to a shelf with a grunt. He got up and got to his feet. He took a quick look around to see that no one was watching, and he took his guitar, and gave it one mighty strum. The guitar then glowed in rainbow light, and the light engulfed Bobby. The zombie woman marched up to Joan and grabbed her by the throat, making Joan scream. Suddenly, a beam of rainbow light blasted the zombie woman in the side, causing her to drop Joan and fly into a wall. The zombie woman snarled as she got up.

"I wouldn't try that if I were you." A familiar voice said. Joan and the zombie woman looked to the side and saw Kid Razor standing on a display, pointing his magic guitar at the zombie.

"Who the hell are you?!" The zombie woman snarled.

"The name's Kid Razor." Razor smirked. "Housewares." The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll leapt off the display and blasted the zombie with a rainbow-colored Power of Rock energy beam. The zombie screamed as she got knocked back into the wall.

"I'm gonna kill you, you loud brat!" The zombie made one mighty leap, intent on crushing Razor with her feet, but they ended up kissing ground as Razor back-flipped out of the way, then nailed her with one huge Heavy Metal Punch, causing her head to fly off.

"Talk about losing one's head." Razor chuckled. He turned and looked at Joan. The Juke Box Hero smiled and walked up to her. "Well hello, Joanie. How's about a little 'Hail to the King, baby?'" Joan shoved Razor off.

"Get off me, you nut!" Joan snapped, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ooh, you are feisty. The Kid of Rock likes feisty women." Razor smirked.

"You are one arrogant person, you know that?" Joan said in disbelief.

"Yeah, I am." Razor said proudly. "You need to relax, babe. I may be an arrogant little loudmouth, but I'm a certified rock 'n' roll superhero." His ears perked as his superhuman hearing picked up a noise. "Excuse me, babe. I got work to do. I'll call you later for an interview." Razor winked at Joan and flew off. Joan groaned.

"That guy becomes more impossible every day."

**An alien palace somewhere else in the galaxy**

A beautiful alien teenager stood in her room, looking very angry. To the eyes of an Earthman, she would've looked like a Latina. Her back-length dark hair had blonde tips, and was styled like an 80s rocker. Her dark brownish-golden eyes were decorated by golden makeup. She wore a yellow bodysuit with what appeared to be a golden chestplate and silver shoulder pads. She wore silver boots that reached up to just below her knees, and white gloves. Across her back was a scabbard that showed a mean-looking golden hilt. She was snapping at what appeared to be a glowing silver orb.

"They were weak!" The teenager snapped at the orb. "Mighty warriors…_HA!!_"

"Your Majesty…" The orb complained in a voice that sounded a little bit like a robotic Rip Torn. "You are not being reasonable! You are powerful, but you _have_ to take a mate."

"I _refuse_ to take a weakling as a mate, Altoc!" The teenager snapped. "I, Princess Ramada of Torac, refuse to have a weakling as a mate. What other planets have possible warriors?" The orb, named Altoc, sighed.

"Earth. It's a backwater planet. It's populated by hillbillies!"

"True, but that planet is developing a lot of super-powered beings. Perhaps some of them have potential." Ramada suggested. "It wouldn't hurt to try."

"Luckily, I have done some research on some of these beings from Earth. The natives refer to them as 'heroes'." Altoc said. A beam of light flew from the top of the orb, and then it formed a screen. The screen showed a man in a costume based on the American Flag, carrying a shield. It also showed video of Cap fighting his regular foes. "This one is called Captain America. He is regarded with great respect on Earth, even among his fellow heroes."

"I think he may have potential, but I wish to view all the choices." Ramada nodded. The image changed to an angry dark-haired man in black with a skull on his chest, and video of him shooting up criminals.

"This one is called the Punisher. He fights street villainy with lethal results, driven by rage and vengeance." Altoc said. Ramada grimaced.

"He looks like he has serious mental issues." Ramada replied. The image changed to a teenager in blue armor.

"Sonic Blue. He is of great intellect, and he built an armor that allows him to run at superhuman speed."

"He has potential, but he needs more experience." Ramada nodded. The image turned to a man in red-and-blue with a mask that had big white eyes.

"Spider-Man. He has the ability to call upon the abilities of an Earth animal." Altoc explained. Ramada grimaced.

"I dislike arachnids!" Ramada screeched. Altoc's image switched to a feral-looking man in a yellow-and-blue costume.

"This one's called Wolverine. He is half-human, half-animal in nature. He is one of Earth's most ferocious fighters, and he can recover from injury very quickly." Ramada raised an eyebrow.

"I like him. I would choose him, but he is too hairy." Ramada said. The image changed to a certain rockstar.

"Kid Razor. An unpredictable mystically-empowered hero. He is disliked by heroes and villains alike due to his arrogance and his inability to keep his mouth closed." Ramada showed fascination.

"Let's see him fight." Ramada ordered. Altoc started playing video of one of Kid Razor's old battles with Selene.

"Amazing…" She breathed. "The woman has him heavily overmatched. He shows no fear and an iron will…"

"The other heroes have admitted that despite Razor's flaws, he does not believe in quitting, and he is incapable of fear." Altoc noticed that the more she saw Razor fight, the more she liked him. She watched him run his mouth, showing his true fearless and heroic nature. It all ended once she saw him at the aftermath of a battle, his unique costume torn and tattered, and his green eyes still screaming for more battle. She squealed in delight.

"…HIM!! He's **PERFECT!!!** This Kid Razor shall make the perfect mate! I **must** have him! Where on Earth is he?"

"Uhm…" Altoc answered. He grew silent and started whirring, indicating he was processing. "He lives in a large Earth village called…Cleve Land." Ramada's face displayed confusion.

"Cleve Land? That's a strange name for a village. No matter. I have just found me my perfect mate, now I must go and make him aware of his destiny."

**_Next: Even more insanity from Kid Razor's little corner of the Marvel Universe!_**


	6. Fire Woman and Fire Guy, too

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Metal Dragon1: Hey there Metal Dragon! Oh yeah, things may not go well for our guitar-playing hero. How will Ramada feel about Joan? Well, I don't think Ramada even **knows** that Kid Razor has a civilian alter-ego, much less that alter-ego having a girlfriend. This is not a Misfit-verse fic, man. This is based on the author Uncanny R-Man's vision of the Marvel Universe, the URM-Verse. Yes, it **was** a tribute to "Army of Darkness" and I'm glad you liked it. "Army of Darkness" is hilarious! Enjoy the new chapter and I can't wait for the new chapter of "Take the Long Way Home"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! Yeah, Razor is really going to be in for it. How will he react to Ramada? He may be undecided if he wants to fight her or shag her. Yeah, that whole thing with her name is very odd. I wouldn't call it…yeah, it is a little spooky. I'm glad you liked the whole "Army of Darkness" fight scene. Sorry about the little cliché. I can't help it. I would reference "Uncanny Excalibur" but here's the thing: I'm in the middle of the Ramada storyline right now, and I want to see how the Dormammu storyline plays out before I make any references. That way, we can avoid continuity screw-ups. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Well, in actuality, in this universe, Jubilee is dating the resurrected Angelo "Skin" Espinosa, and she kind of got over her Razor crush. In the URM-verse, she's rejoined the X-Men. But Kid Razor definitely will get a new groupie in the form of Ramada. Yes, Joan's name is a tribute to Joan Jett and Ace Frehley, and a lot of characters in the Kid Razor-verse got their name from rock bands. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Read some of the Uncanny R-Man's stuff, and enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Go away kid, you're grossing me out!"**

**_Chapter 6: Fire Woman…and Fire Guy, too_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"_Welcome to the Jungle, we got fun and games/We got everythin' you want, honey we know the names…_" Kid Razor sang as he flew over the city of Cleveland, Ronnie Rocker beside him.

"That whole thing with the Rhino and Tusk was incredibly weird." Ronnie blinked. Razor stopped singing and turned his head at Ronnie.

"I'm used to it." Razor said. "The Kid of Rock has seen some crazy stuff since he got this here guitar."

"Yeah." Ronnie agreed with a nod. Razor and Ronnie flew past a huge building. "Man, that's one swanky hotel."

"Yeah, no kidding." Razor agreed. Suddenly… "**WHOA!!!**" A huge fireball erupted from one of the hotel room windows. Razor blinked as he looked back at the building.

"_JOHN!!_" A feminine voice exclaimed.

"What…the **hell** was **_that?!_**" Razor exclaimed. Ronnie blinked. The two stopped in mid-air.

"Maybe it was a science experiment."

**Inside the hotel**

A red-haired woman dressed in fishnets and leather screamed at a blond man wearing an orange t-shirt and jeans. The redhead was Typhoid Mary, a reformed schizophrenic villain and ex-detective who was a telekinetic and pyrokinetic as well as had limited mind-control abilities. The blond man was St. John Allerdyce, an Australian native and ex-terrorist. He was a mutant with pyrokinetic abilities and he and Typhoid were dating. After leaving Deadpool's detective agency **(1)**, they moved to Australia and decided to come to Cleveland for a vacation.

"John, you twit!" Typhoid snapped.

"It wasn't me fault!" Pyro exclaimed. "I just turned on the radio and _FWOOSH!!_ Only in Cleveland, mate."

"I'm not surprised. They say a lot of crazy stuff happens here in Cleveland." Typhoid rolled her eyes.

"Hey!" A voice called from outside. Typhoid and Pyro turned and saw the Fearless Kid Razor hovering at their window, arms crossed.

"Kid Razor!" Typhoid exclaimed in amazement.

"Hey, I remember you, mate!" John grinned. "From that concert you and Dazzler did in Australia!" **(2) **Razor blinked for a second, but then he remembered.

"Oh yeah!" Razor grinned. "You both wore matching fishnets, only Fire-boy over here wore it on his arms."

"What the heck?" Ronnie Rocker materialized. Typhoid squealed.

"OH MY _GOD!!_ Ronnie Rocker! I have all your albums! I'm a huge fan!"

"I'm…sure." Ronnie blinked.

"Ronnie, that's Typhoid Mary and Pyro. Ex-psychos." Razor introduced. "What happened to that detective thing you were doing with Deadpool and Psylocke and…"

"Well, from what we heard last, Jubilee, Skin, and Magik rejoined the X-Men." Pyro explained. "Typhoid and I decided to come back to me home country and living quietly."

_Somehow, the Kid of Rock seriously doubts that 'quiet' could **ever** apply to either one of these crazies' lives._ Razor thought.

"Good thing Jubilee's over that crush on you, huh?" Ronnie grinned at Razor. Razor nodded gratefully. Earlier in Kid Razor's career, Jubilee was his biggest fan, and she had a major crush on him. She practically stalked the rockstar, but it was just a crush, and it faded, much to Razor's delight.

"Yeah, yeah." Razor waved it off. "So what are you doing in Cleveland?"

"Vacation!" Typhoid Mary grinned. "And besides, we were in the mood to see the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame."

"Does this have to do with that old fantasy you had about Elvis?" John blinked.

"Oh, brother…" Ronnie groaned.

"The Hall of Fame is right along the Kid of Rock's patrol route." Razor grinned. "Why don't the Kid of Rock take you guys there?"

"That's great but how?" Pyro wondered. Razor smirked and strummed his mighty mystical guitar, the instrument that allowed Razor to access the source of his powers, the Power of Rock. He shot Typhoid and Pyro with rainbow beams, and they found themselves covered by rainbow-colored energy fields.

"The Kid of Rock don't do that often." Razor shrugged. "It's difficult maintaining multiple forcefields. Just relax and let the Kid of Rock do the steering." Razor leapt out the window and flew off. Pyro and Typhoid followed, letting Razor mentally control the forcefields around them.

**(1) - See "Uncanny Deadpool"**

**(2) - In "Uncanny Deadpool", Typhoid Mary and Pyro met Kid Razor at a concert in ****Australia**

_Next: Yet more insanity from Kid Razor's world!_


	7. You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! I'm glad you liked seeing Typhoid Mary and Pyro. I wanted to feature them for quite a while. What kind of wackiness will happen with Typhoid Mary and Pyro? Well, you know that fire will be involved. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter! _

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there, Rogue! No, it's the original comic Typhoid, red hair and insanity and all. In the URM-verse, Typhoid Mary has reformed, and she's now dating a resurrected Pyro. They're a very happy couple. Yeah, Razor is taking Typhoid and Pyro on a tour of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. I'm also going to have a very special guest star in this chapter. You won't believe who. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Well, well, well. Pay dirt, Mr. Touch." - Mr. Go, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles**

**_Chapter 7: You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!_**

**The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, ****Cleveland**

A heavyset college-age kid stood in front of a Beatles exhibit, admiring the artifacts. He was dressed in a blue t-shirt and jeans. His red hair was curly, and he had brown eyes. A backpack was on his back.

"Ahhhh…" He smiled to himself. "Man, I picked the right place. Man, coming here to Cleveland was a great idea." With a smile, he pulled an object out of his bag. It was a green hood that looked like a big frog's head. "I can start over. The Fabulous Frog-Man is going to make his triumphant return. Kid Razor could always use a hand." Speaking of the Ultimate Rockstar, the Fearless One himself was leading Typhoid Mary and Pyro around the hall, showing them around.

"I had no idea Keith Moon did that." Typhoid grinned.

"Why do you I think Ronnie makes dead chauffeur jokes about him?" Razor chuckled. "Too bad he had to leave."

"Yeah, mate. He looked a little odd." Pyro nodded. "What was that all about?"

"I have no idea." Razor rolled his eyes. "He's been acting weird lately."

"Hey! You're Kid Razor!" The heavyset kid ran to him.

"Oh look, a fan." Razor chuckled. The kid grabbed Razor's hand and shook it vigorously. "Whoa! You're enthusiastic."

"You bet! My name is Eugene Patilio." The red-haired kid grinned. "I'm a fellow superhero?" Razor looked him over in disbelief.

"No offense, but you're too fat to be Spider-Man…you look too retarded to be Mr. Fantastic…and you look too pathetic to be Iron Man, so the Kid of Rock never heard of you."

"Maybe this will help!" Eugene pulled a green costume out of his bag with what looked like a power pack on the back, and webbed feet. "I'm the Fabulous Frog-Man!" Typhoid and Pyro burst out laughing.

"What?" Razor blinked.

"I've heard of this guy!" Typhoid laughed. "He's a screwball!"

"I took on the Yellow Claw and won!" Eugene snapped.

"With a lucky shot!" Pyro laughed. "You never could get your bouncing right?"

"Why am I not surprised?" Razor chuckled. Eugene groaned.

"Okay, I admit, I screw up. Sometimes, I can't get the controls right on this thing. But look, I came to Cleveland to start over, and maybe get some help from one of the best."

"Well, you do have taste, I'll give you that." Razor smirked. "And does the Kid of Rock look like Mr. Miyagi to you?"

"Mr. Miyagi?" Typhoid blinked.

"Ain't you ever seen the Karate Kid?" John asked Typhoid in amazement. Typhoid shook her head.

"I was…too busy." The schizophrenic redhead replied. Razor rolled his eyes.

**An arcade in Cleveland**

"Alright alright alright!" Two nerdy guys whooped as they played a space game. "This rocks! We saved the princess!" The two nerds high-fived. Ramada walked into the arcade. She had added a golden headband to her costume, with a red jewel in the center. Altoc the orb was floating alongside her.

"The Earth youth call this place an 'arcade', Your Majesty." Altoc explained. "Earth youth spend time here playing primitive electronic games." Ramada nodded.

"And you think my desired mate might spend time here?"

"It is a possibility." Altoc said simply. The nerds stared at the alien warrior, and started chattering.

"Dude, go talk to her!" Nerd 1 encouraged.

"No way!" As the nerds argued, Ramada watched, looking a little confused and amused.

"Perhaps you humans can help me find the one who is to be my mate." Ramada said. "You call him…Kid Razor."

"Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor? Cleveland's Favorite Son? The Fearless One? The Rock 'n' Roll Warrior?" One of the nerds, Nerd 1 to be exact, smirked and cleared his throat. "That's me." Ramada blinked in shock. "Don't be alarmed. You see, I'm currently wearing a disguise so that I can walk amongst my fellow Clevelandites without being pestered for autographs." Nerd 1 wiggled his eyebrows. Nerd 2 burst out laughing.

"That's bull, man!" Nerd 2 laughed. "You aren't Kid Razor! Kid Razor is awesome!" Upon hearing that comment, Ramada's eyes narrowed at the Kid Razor-wannabe nerd. She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and threw the screaming nerd into the video game machine. The princess then turned to the second nerd.

"I can trust you can be truthful about Kid Razor's location, _right?_" Ramada _glared_ at Nerd 1, who started shaking.

"I-I-I-don't k-k-know where he is! H-h-he can be seen around the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. I-i-it looks like a big pyramid!" The nerd gulped. "Don't hurt me!"

"Come, Ramada." Altoc told the warrior girl. "I have hacked some computers in this city and I know where this 'Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame' is. Come with me." The orb floated away and Ramada flew after it.

**The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame**

"Maybe my friend Spencer can do something with your suit." Razor said to Eugene. After much laughter, and threatening to beat some arse, Eugene was allowed to join up with Razor's little tour.

"You know, I wonder why that 'special' wrestler on the tube is called Eugene." Pyro whispered to Typhoid, making the schizophrenic ex-assassin giggle. Eugene scowled at the two.

"Coming from two former criminals like you, I think of it as a compliment!" Eugene snapped.

"Relax, Frog-Face." Razor smirked. "They've gone straight. Based on what I've heard, the Kid of Rock says they're too busy to commit evil acts, if you know what the Kid of Rock is saying." Razor winked at the screwball superhero.

"Hey!" Pyro and Typhoid exclaimed. What the four heroes didn't realize was their fun was about to be interrupted.

**The Astral Plane**

The Astral Plane was an infinite, shapeless void. Ronnie Rocker was a soul who could transverse the mortal and Astral Plane at whim. The Astral Plane also held souls, like Heaven. An entity floated up to Ronnie.

"You summoned me here. What do you want?" Ronnie asked the entity. The entity, a white ball of light, sighed.

"Ronnie Rocker, you are not going to like this." The entity warned. The entity gave Ronnie some news. The former glam rocker's face contorted in rage.

"**_WHAT!_**" Ronnie yelled angrily.

**_Next: Ramada makes her move!_**


	8. Blast From The Past!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I'm glad you liked the wackiness with Typhoid and Pyro. They are such a fun and screwy duo. Yeah, I wonder what got poor old Ronnie Rocker hot under the collar. Yeah, I'll see if I can fit in a comment on Scourge. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Yep, that's the Fabulous Frog-Man! I used a site called Spiderfan to find out info on him. The White Rabbit was one weird and wacky villainess. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. What's gotten Ronnie so incensed? Read the Uncanny R-Man's fic "The Uncanny Four". It explains the whole thing. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To RogueFanKC: Hey there Rogue! Yep, it's the Frog-Man. I have plans for him and I want to give him a bit of an overhaul and a bit of a revamp. Who are all those guys? They are all fully described in the story. Just read previous chapters. Yeah, Kid Razor's going to have a new headache considering that in the URM-verse, Jubilee is dating a resurrected Angelo Espinosa/Skin. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Don't have a cow, man!" - Bart Simpson, the Simpsons**

**_Chapter 8: Blast from the Past _**

**Roma Nova, the Amazon Jungle, Several Years Ago (Note: Set before Selene's first appearance in the New Mutants comic book)**

"GAH!" A living Ronnie Rocker screamed as he got slammed into the brick wall of the chamber that housed some kind of sacrificial lava pit. Around his neck was a golden oval amulet with a green ruby center. _Oh man, how do I get myself into these messes!_ Ronnie was on a way to a performance in Rio when his plane crashed and he stumbled into Roma Nova. When he approached, a mysterious dying old man threw an amulet around the glam rocker's neck, warning him not to let someone named Selene get the magic within it. The old man died in Ronnie's arms, and the curious glam rocker went to the Ancient Roman holdover to find out what was up. Needless to say, he ended up meeting Selene, and was forced to fight her. So far, he wasn't doing too well.

"You should have handed over the amulet, mortal." A feminine voice said as the source sauntered up to Ronnie. She had Roman features, and was dressed in a purple low-cut gown and a purple headband. Her hair was long and black, and her eyes glowed red.

"Like _hell_ I will, Selene!" Ronnie spat. "I don't know what this amulet does, but one thing I do know…You can't have it." Selene smirked.

"It's a shame, mortal. You know, I was originally planning to keep you for more…personal uses. But now, I am afraid I have to kill you." Selene cocked back her fist. "Goodbye, Ronnie Rocker." Selene started to throw the punch. Ronnie closed his eyes. Suddenly, he heard a voice.

_Use the power…Power of Rock…Use the power…Power of Rock…Use the power…_ Ronnie opened his eyes and he saw Selene's fist come toward his face slowly. As quick as lightning, a rainbow-colored forcefield erupted around his body. Ronnie found himself moving out of the way of the priestess's fist and twisting his body, allowing himself to sweep his leg under Selene, causing her to fall flat on her face. Ronnie found himself flipping backwards like a gymnast several times into a Spider-Man-esque pose.

_What's happened to me!_ Ronnie thought. _Since when could I do **that!**_ Selene snarled as she got to her feet. A line of red appeared from her mouth and trickled down her chin. Selene wiped her sleeve and looked at the red substance. Blood. It was blood. This mortal...this...mere mortal...had made her shed blood! Selene felt her rage grow.

"So, you have some tricks up your sleeve." The priestess scowled. "They will not save you." Her eyes glowed red as she tried to use her telepathy on Ronnie. "What! It has no effect! I can't even sense you!" Ronnie blinked.

_This forcefield must somehow block out her telepathy._ Ronnie blinked.

_Perhaps a weapon more suited to you would help._ The amulet 'said' to Ronnie. A rainbow-colored beam of light shot upwards from the amulet. The beam flew out of Roma Nova, and went toward the wreckage of Ronnie's plane. A guitar with a green-and-blue planet-shaped body flew back toward Roma Nova, using the beam as a guide. The guitar flew into the fire pit chamber, hovering down over Ronnie.

"Another one of your little tricks, mortal?" Selene snarled. The amulet freed itself from around Ronnie's neck, and it glowed as it flew toward Ronnie's guitar, the instrument glowing as well. "WHAT IS THAT THING!" Selene screeched. A flash of light, and the amulet appeared to merge with the guitar. Before Selene could do anything, Ronnie found himself leaping up, grabbing the guitar, and putting it on with the strap over his shoulder.

"Hey Selene…" He pointed the head of his guitar at the priestess. "FEED ON THIS!" Ronnie gave one mighty strum, and a beam of rainbow-colored energy flew from the guitar's head. The beam smashed into Selene hard, sending the screaming immortal into a wall. The field of rainbow energy around Ronnie's body suddenly gained a more intense glow as he ran towards her. Ronnie clenched a fist and it charged up with power. He whacked Selene hard with the energy charged fist in an uppercut. The energy exploded on contact, sending her flying up into the ceiling. Ronnie took off his guitar and whacked Selene hard like he was Mark McGuire. The screaming sorceress was sent flying into the huge fire pit in the center of the room.

**The Astral Plane, Present Day**

_I thought that whole thing with Selene would be over that day in Roma Nova all those years ago._ Ronnie mentally groaned as he flew through the Plane. _Instead, I made myself a target for that old witch and the guitar became a new little project for her._ Ronnie's face turned hard. _I can hardly believe it. Selene is now mortal. How did this happen? Only one way to find out…head to the __Baxter__Building__ and find out what in the name of God is going on._

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

Spencer Allen Burton, the teenage genius who fought crime in his hometown as Sonic Blue, was sitting on the couch in his armor, watching TV. His mother was out at work and his visor was on the couch next to him. Spencer noticed the newspaper on the coffee table. He eyed the article and picked it up.

"A strange string of murders." Spencer blinked as his blue eyes examined the article. "Puppet Master **(1)**, Arcade **(2)**, Mystique **(3)**, and that massacre in New York **(4)**." Spencer's keen mind immediately got to work puzzling over any possible motive for these events. "Maybe I should go ask Razor if he knows anything about this." Spencer smiled as he looked at a new device he built. It looked like a blue remote control, yet it was the size of a small calculator. "It'll be a wonderful opportunity to test out my new invention."

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

Eugene, Razor, Typhoid, and Pyro emerged from the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, laughing.

"Man, that place is _ripper!_ We have _got_ to go there again sometime." Pyro laughed. Typhoid held a couple bags of souvenirs.

"You got that right! You can­_not_ believe all the stuff they got in the gift shop!" Typhoid grinned.

"Well, The Kid of Rock sees you enjoyed your time in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame." Razor smirked.

"I want to check out a Browns game while I'm here, John." Typhoid said simply. "I miss American TV. I like living in Sydney, but I do miss American TV."

"Bloody 'ell, Typhoid! I _knew_ I bought that satellite for something." John smacked his forehead in realization. "Now I remember, heh heh!"

"Just what do you guys _do_ in Sydney now, anyway?" Eugene wondered.

"We live it up!" Typhoid whooped. "We made a lot of money in BLEW, and we decided to take our savings and live quietly in Sydney."

"I wish I was rich." Eugene sighed.

"What's that?" Pyro pointed up into the sky. Kid Razor blinked as the figure revealed itself to be Ramada. "More like, _who_ is that?" The alien girl landed in front of the group.

"Hmmm…" Razor brought down his sunglasses and looked Ramada over.

"Rejoice, Earthlings!" Altoc yelled out joyfully. "You are witness to an joyous event!"

"Can someone say 'straight out of a comic book'?" Eugene blinked. Altoc the orb floated out to Kid Razor.

"Oh look, a talking disco ball." Razor snickered. Ramada giggled.

"You are Kid Razor?"

"Yeah, I'm the wheelin'-and-dealin', kiss-stealin', stylin'-and-profilin', limousine-ridin', jet-flyin', hard-rockin', butt-kickin' son-of-a-gun they call Kid Razor." Razor smirked.

"Kid Razor, this is Ramada, Princess of the planet Torac. She has chosen you as her mate." Altoc said. Razor looked at Ramada with a raised eyebrow.

"The Kid of Rock sees that you alien folk don't waste time or words." Razor smirked.

"She _is_ kind of pretty." Eugene blinked.

"Congrats, Razor!" Typhoid whooped.

**_Next: The Princess and the Power of Rock_**

**(1) - Puppet Master got the axe in "Uncanny Madrox"**

**(2) - ****Arcade**** saw the big "Game Over" sign in the sky in "The Uncanny New Avengers"**

**(3) - Mystique got blown away in "The Uncanny Wolverine"**

**(4) - Several villains got killed in "The Uncanny Spider-Man"**


	9. The Princess and the Power of Rock!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I loved the new stuff you have been sending me to read! It's great! Your URM-verse is getting bigger. I like e-mailing you about ideas and stuff. Yeah, you'll find out what happens next with Ramada. I had to make some kind of reference to Scourge. After all, the URM-verse is all connected together. Maybe it will bring more reviews. Who knows. Will Amora appear to annoy Spencer? Not yet. Although I do have plans for Amora. I think there would be too many parallels between the whole Amora and Spencer situation and Razor and Ramada. The difference is that Amora will be more able to visit Spencer than Ramada will be able to visit Razor. I hoped you liked that flashback in the beginning. That flashback was meant to show the origins of Kid Razor's magic guitar, the source of his powers. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, that incident in Roma Nova started it all. Ronnie Rocker's trademark guitar became the magic guitar of Kid Razor in Roma Nova. It spelt the end of Ronnie Rocker's mortal life and the seeds of Kid Razor's birth. I love the URM-verse, so I started talking to R-Man about doing my own URM fic, and we pitched ideas, and it went from there. Yeah, Kid Razor has to now deal with Ramada, a powerful alien princess. The main inspiration behind Ramada was the DC comics character Maxima, an alien warrior who was in love with Superman. I'm glad you liked Razor's little Ric Flair-esque intro. Flair rules. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Your fanny is a masterpiece!" - Ryan Stiles, Who's Line is it Anyway?**

**_Chapter 9: The Princess and the Power of Rock_**

**In front of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, Downtown ****Cleveland****OH**

Typhoid Mary, Pyro, Eugene Patilio, and Kid Razor stared at Altoc and Ramada.

"So Razor, you're going to be a husband." Pyro snickered. Razor raised an eyebrow at a grinning Ramada.

"Gee, the Kid of Rock had no idea he had fans on other planets." Razor smirked. Eugene snuck away quietly and raced into an alley to change into his Frog-Man costume.

_I got a bad feeling about this…_ The wannabe-superhero thought as he raced into the alley.

"So, let the Kid of Rock get this straight." Razor said to Ramada. "The Kid of Rock is supposed to go to your home planet and marry you?"

"Yes." Altoc replied.

"I'm talking to the chick, not you, Disco Ball." Razor glared at the floating orb. "Go back to Studio 54, pal."

"That's right, Kid Razor dissed the little floating taking disco ball thingie." Typhoid quipped, making Pyro laugh out loud.

"I can offer you an entire world, Kid Razor. A world at your beckon call." Ramada said. Razor smirked, his ego obviously stroked.

"Hmmm…" Razor thought, scratching his chin.

"More than a mere village full of peons…" Ramada continued. Razor's eyes widened.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA!" Razor exclaimed. "Peons! _Peons!_ Lady, no offense to you, you are incredibly hot, and I'm sure that owning a planet is tempting. But let the Kid of Rock explain something to you, lady. The Kid of Rock doesn't appreciate it when people come around and insult the people of Cleveland. This city is one of the greats, babe. In 1879, we were the first city on Earth to get electric lighting, and we've been rockin' since then! The Kid of Rock does _not_ take too kindly to people insulting his city, and his people!"

"I guess somebody forgot to tell that Ramada woman that Kid Razor doesn't take too kindly to people insulting his hometown." Pyro chuckled. Ramada's jaw dropped. No one had _dared_ mock her like that back in her homeworld.

"How _dare_ you!" Altoc snapped at Razor. "You do _not_ insult Princess Ramada like that! Why I-"

"The Kid of Rock thought he told you to go back to Studio 54, Disco Ball!" Razor snapped at Altoc, shoving the orb away. Ramada glared at Razor.

"I like you, Kid Razor, but I will _not_ have you insult me in that manner!" Ramada glared.

"The Kid of Rock always speaks his mind, babe." Razor smirked. He turned around and walked off. Ramada's eyes narrowed, and she drew her sword from the scabbard on her back.

"Razor, she's got a sword!" Typhoid exclaimed, drawing her own swords. Razor turned around.

"Come on…stupid…grr…"

**Cleveland**** Police HQ**

At their desks, Sergeants Amanda Briscoe and Harold Polanski were enjoying some salad. At least, Briscoe was.

"Harry, you're looking at that salad like it's the freakin' Bubonic Plague or something." Briscoe said. "You need fiber."

"No offense Briscoe, but if I want lettuce, I'll ask for a burger with extra lettuce in it." Polanski grumbled. A rookie cop ran up to them. "Yeah, rookie?"

"There's something going on downtown! Another super-powered brawl! The Chief wants your butts down there now!" The rookie exclaimed. Polanski groaned.

"Great. More super-tight idiocy. Just the thing to make my day better." Polanski groaned.

"And you're not going to believe this." The rookie sighed. "Ever heard of Typhoid Mary?"

"That psycho is here, too! Oh, man…" Polanski suddenly felt very ill. Back when he was in the NYPD, he heard about Typhoid Mary. And what he heard was not very good.

"Let me guess, they want _us_ to deal with it?" Briscoe guessed.

"You got it." The rookie said. "Well, you guys definitely are Razor's allies in the Cleveland PD."

"It's a real blast, rookie. You should try it sometime." Polanski said to the rookie with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

**In front of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame, Downtown ****Cleveland****OH**

An angry Ramada ripped a streetlamp right out of the ground and swung it at Razor like a baseball bat, smashing him into a wall.

"Hey Ramada!" Typhoid roared. "BURN!" The alien princess screamed as she found herself set ablaze.

"AIEEEE! WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?" Ramada screamed.

"I got this!" Pyro called upon his mutant powers. The flames leapt up out of Ramada's body and formed a cage around her.

"What!" A confused Ramada looked around at her fiery cage.

"Where's Eugene?" Typhoid wondered.

"AUGH! THE CONTROLS SCREWED UP AGAIN!" Eugene screamed as he leapt out of the alley wildly in his Frog-Man costume. "Stupid controls! I thought I fixed them!"

"Oh, man…" Razor moaned as he got to his feet. "What in the?" He saw a screaming Frog-Man wildly careening towards him. "Yipe!" Razor rolled out of the way. The Frog-Man bounced off the wall beside Razor, flew into the fire cage, and smashed into Ramada, knocking them both out of the cage.

"Oh thanks a lot, mate!" Pyro snapped at Eugene. Ramada scowled at Frog-Man, and picked him up by his neck.

"Lousy amphibian." Ramada threw the Frog-Man into a lamppost, smashing up his costume.

"Aw man…" Eugene moaned.

"Now…I am _angry!_" Ramada snarled. "How _dare_ you mere peons entrap me like that!" She heard a guitar strum.

"_BON JOVI BOOSTER!_" Kid Razor used his Power of Rock forcefield to launch himself like a bullet. He used his little impersonation to smash into Ramada, sending the two flying into a building. Typhoid and Pyro heard a boom behind them. They turned and saw what appeared to be a blue vortex open up behind them.

"Oh man, _more_ aliens?" Typhoid moaned. Pyro blinked as he noticed the figure zipping out, clutching a newspaper close to his chest.

"I don't think aliens wear Sonic Blue's armor." Pyro blinked. Sonic Blue stopped in front of Typhoid and Pyro and saw what was going on.

"What's going on here?" Sonic Blue wondered. He heard the familiar explosions of Kid Razor's Heavy Metal Punch attack hitting its target, and a screaming Ramada being sent flying into a car. "Who's that!"

"Oh, just your average crazy alien princess, hell-bent on making me her mate." Razor smirked as he leapt out the hole in the wall.

"What did you say, Razor?" Sonic Blue asked sternly, crossing his armored arms, tapping his foot.

"I turned her down gently, and she goes psycho." Razor shrugged.

"My back…"

"Shut up, Eugene." Razor grumbled. Altoc merely observed the whole thing.

**A prison in Cincinnati**

Keith Michaels grumbled and snarled in his wheelchair. He was having another bad day. But then again, as far as he was concerned, every day that Spencer Burton lived was a bad day for him. He looked up when he heard the sounds of a scuffle. The insane teenage paraplegic saw two costumed mercenaries walk toward his cell, carrying machine guns. The two guards shut off the forcefield. Keith snarled like a wild animal when he recognized the flesh-colored masks and red-and-blue costumes of the Hellfire Club.

"Mr. Michaels, the Black Queen requests Redfoot's presence." One of the mercenaries said.

"Tell Selene she can go to Hell!" Keith snarled.

"Selene's reign is over." The other mercenary said. "The _new_ Black Queen requests your presence, Redfoot." The mercenary pitched a futuristic red-and-black watch to Keith, which the former track athlete caught easily. Keith grinned madly as he put the watch on. He pressed a button on the watch, and his body glowed red. He stood up from his wheelchair, dressed in the armor of Redfoot. Redfoot's armor looked exactly like Sonic Blue's, only red replaced the blue, the black and silver were reversed, and red bat-like wings adorned the visor. Keith smiled like the lunatic he was as he examined himself in his armor.

"Ahh, it feels good to walk." Keith smiled. "Oh, send the _new_ Black Queen a message." Keith's smile formed a twisted grin. He zipped behind the mercenaries and snapped their necks. Keith beamed with pride. "I still got a demon to slay. A demon named Spencer Allen Burton."

**_Next: The Wild and the Young!_**


	10. The Wild and the Young!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Haretrigger: Hey there Haretrigger! Nice to hear from you again! Yep, Keith Michaels, aka Redfoot, is out to cause nothing but disaster for the city of Cincinnati, and Sonic Blue is right now unable to do anything about Keith's newest rampage since he's in Cleveland right now. As for Mary helping Razor, Typhoid Mary **was** a bad guy. She's not anymore. In the URM-verse, Typhoid Mary reformed, especially when she found love in the resurrected St. John "Pyro" Allerdyce. Read R-Man's fic "Uncanny Deadpool". It will explain the whole deal. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! I've been reading all the stuff you send me and it's awesome! You know a lot about comic book characters. I'm glad you liked seeing Typhoid kick some butt. Indeed, usage of fire in super-powered brawls rock. And thanks for the clear-up on what kind of blades Typhoid carries. I thought she used katanas. Her machetes look like katanas a little. Oh yes, __Eugene__ is quite a lovable screw-up. He does try. I think what his problem is he needs his costume fixed up a little. Not to mention he should learn how to fight a little. Sonic Blue and Kid Razor can fix that up perfectly. Spencer can make modifications on Frog-Man's costume, and Razor can show __Eugene__ how to kick butt. No, it's not all from Ramada. She's plenty tough. As for Redfoot, you'll see what's up with him. Thanks for everything, man! See you in the Inbox! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Yeah, Maxima was the main inspiration for the character of Ramada. Like Maxima, Ramada is very strong, a powerful warrior, and she can really take a hit. However, unlike the DC character, Ramada is not a telepath. She also has a weakness. You'll find out what it is soon. I'm glad you liked seeing the introduction of Ramada and Redfoot's escape. There is a new Black Queen. Read Uncanny R-Man's "The Uncanny Four" to learn what happened to Selene, and also read "The Uncanny XSE" to find out who the new Black Queen is. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Do you understand the words that are comin' outta my mouth!" Chris Tucker, Rush Hour (A very funny movie! You should see it!)**

**_Chapter 10: The Wild and the Young!_**

**Hellfire Club Headquarters, ****Manhattan, ****New York**

Morgan Le Fey, the Hellfire's newest Black Queen, sat on a chair in her chambers, watching a mystically-created window. The window was showing Cleveland's Kid Razor, the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker, brawling with Ramada, a mighty alien warrior princess.

"Hmm…it is obvious why my…predecessor…was so interested in him." Morgan smirked to herself, holding a goblet full of wine. "That guitar he carries gives great power. And his arrogance is unmatched." The sorceress chuckled to herself. _Releasing Redfoot was a glorious idea! That mentally disturbed fool will keep that modern-day knight Sonic Blue distracted, and as for Razor…In case I fail to destroy the X-Men , I shall use Kid Razorto destroy them. I shall use his hatred of my predecessor to make him attack and destroy the Earth's heroes. Yes, Selene deciding to get married was a fantastic stroke for me. The Avengers and all the other heroes will be at the wedding. And once my plan is complete, Kid Razor will be so hell-bent on killing his old foe, he'll destroy Earth's other heroes to get his hands on her._ Morgan smiled to herself. Kid Razor was powerful, and he was the perfect pawn…

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Uhm…" Spencer scratched his head as he looked at Typhoid and Pyro. "Who are you and what's going on here?"

"Oh, I'm Typhoid Mary, and he's Pyro." Typhoid introduced herself, then pointed at Pyro.

"Aren't you a criminal psycho?" Spencer pointed at Mary. He then pointed at Pyro. "And aren't you dead?"

"I got better." Typhoid and John answered in unison.

"What're you doing here Spencer?" Razor wondered.

"Well, in case you haven't heard Razor, there's been a strange string of murders all over the country. I was wondering if you knew anything about them." Spencer asked. "Oh, and I wanted to show you my new invention." Spencer grinned as he showed his small blue calculator-like device. "It's called the Warper. Using this, I can create tiny self-repairing rips in the space-time continuum. These rips can allow a person to travel vast distances in a matter of minutes."

"Uhnh…" Eugene moaned as he got to his feet. He watched Razor, Spencer, Typhoid, and Pyro talk. His suit looked a little battered. He immediately checked the power pack. He sighed in relief. "Thank God. It's undamaged. I guess they beat the bad guy already."

"Ohhh…" Moaning was heard from within the hole Razor made into the wall with Ramada. Eugene carefully walked into the hole. He peeked inside. It was dark.

"Hello?" Eugene stepped carefully inside. He was a fist head for his face.

"I built the Warper so we can go between the Twin Cities and New York a lot faster." Spencer explained.

"Pretty." Typhoid blinked. Razor scoffed.

"Why the heck would the Kid of Rock go to New York? Only useful people there are the cops and firefighters." Razor scoffed. A WHOCK was heard. The four heroes turned, and a screaming Eugene smashed into Spencer.

"Ohhh…" The two costumed heroes groaned. Ramada snarled as she stepped out of the hole. Her costume was torn up in a couple places. Her hair was messy.

"You thought you could take down Ramada so easily, humans? I _will_ have you on my planet as my husband, Kid Razor. It is not a choice."

"They say the same thing when people try and kill me, Ramada." Razor chuckled. Spencer blinked in confusion as he helped Eugene up.

"Ramada? Who's Ramada? What's going on?" Spencer looked at Eugene. "And who are you?"

"I'm the Fabulous Frog-Man…" Eugene mumbled.

"You shouldn't use nicknames you haven't earned, brother Frog." Razor grumbled. Ramada charged the heroes. "Gangway! Angry space broad coming thru!" Spencer zipped away with Eugene in tow, Razor took to the air, and Typhoid and Pyro rolled out of the way. Typhoid unsheathed her twin machetes.

"Come on, lady! Let's dance!" Typhoid raced toward Ramada, machetes ready to slice Ramada's head off. The space warrior unsheathed her sword and blocked the blow, then kicked Typhoid in the gut.

"Sheila!" John exclaimed. Spencer zipped behind Ramada. Before she could react, Spencer nailed her in the back with a sonic blast. The blast sent her flying into Kid Razor's Power of Rock-charged fist. Ramada managed to flip in mid-air and she landed on the edge of a roof on her feet. Pyro flipped open his lighter, and sent a volley of fireballs after her, which she used her sword to cut through.

"Your allies cannot save you, Kid Razor." Ramada's dark eyes narrowed. "I have fought many powerful warriors from vast other planets, and-"

"Oh _shut **up!**_" Kid Razor snapped, blasting the roof underneath her with his guitar. Ramada screamed as she fell down to the ground. Spencer cupped his hands together and created several balls of blue energy. Spencer threw the spheres at the building behind Ramada. The wall exploded, and debris fell all over the alien princess. Tension rose as the five heroes waited for something to happen.

"Did we beat her?" Eugene blinked. Suddenly, Ramada burst out of the rubble and grabbed Razor as she took to the air. "Razor!"

"You **will** be mine, Kid Razor." Ramada smirked. Kid Razor eyed a park.

"The Kid of Rock doesn't think so, babe." Razor smirked. He strummed his guitar, and then he grabbed Ramada's waist, wrapping his arms around her. The Fearless Kid Razor twisted his body in mid-air, causing her to fly towards the park.

"What?"

"BON…**JOVI**…**_BOOSTER!_**" Kid Razor roared. The Power of Rock forcefield around his body exploded, propelling him forward at incredible speed like a cannonball. Razor and Ramada careened towards the park. "Ramada, The Kid of Rock is going to welcome you to Earth with a real **bang!**" Spencer, Typhoid, Pyro, and Eugene watched what appeared to be a rainbow-colored comet of light race down towards the park, and when it hit the ground, it exploded.

"Whoa! What was **that!**" Typhoid exclaimed.

"Come on! Something tells me that this fight has just gotten uglier!" Spencer used his armor's technology to encase Pyro, Typhoid, and Eugene in a sphere of solid sonic energy. He then zipped off towards the park, dragging the sonic sphere behind him.

**_Next: Brawl for All!_**


	11. Brawl For All! Maybe!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I'm glad you like the battle in the last chapter. I just wanted to show everyone brawling! Yeah, I wanted to include Morgan. Remember the storyline we discussed? This is part of it. This is going to lead up into something big. Trust me. You'll love it! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "First I'll access the secret military spy satelite that is in geosynchronous orbit over the ****Midwest****. Then I'll ID the limo by the vanity plate "MR. BIGGG" and get his approximate position. Then I'll reposition the transmission dish on the remote truck to 17.32 degrees east, hit WESTAR 4 over the Atlantic, bounce the signal _back_ into the aerosphere up to COMSAT 6, beam it _back_ to SATCOM 2 transmitter number 137 and down on the dish on the back of Mr. Big's limo... It's almost too easy." - Dana Carvey as Garth Algar, ****Wayne****'s World**

**_Chapter 11: Brawl For All…Maybe!_**

**Atlantis, two years ago**

Selene, the evil Black Queen of the Hellfire Club, snarled as she found herself fighting Earth's Mightiest Heroes, the Avengers: Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Wasp, She-Hulk, Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, and Yellowjacket. With them was Atlantis' monarch, the half-human, half-Atlantean warrior known as Namor. Alongside them were two rookie heroes in their early teens: One was the superhuman rockstar named Kid Razor. The other was a boy in blue knight-like armor codenamed Sonic Blue. Sonic Blue's armor was completed by a visor that basically was a blue translucent strip over his eyes with blue bird-like wings adorning the sides. It was a brutal battle. But then again, the Avengers and their allies were fighting to prevent a disaster of biblical proportions.

"Give it up, Selene! You can't win! Hand over the crown!" Captain America ordered, pitching his shield. Selene growled, clutching what appeared to be a green helmet made to look like a coiled seven-headed snake under her arm. The helmet was actually the Serpent Crown, an ancient magical artifact. It granted its wearer superhuman powers through a link to a demon named Set, including illusion-casting, telepathy, telekinesis, and superhuman strength. Selene was after the Crown so she could use its power to rule the world. Around her neck, the Black Queen also had a pendant of a music note made of jade. The pendant held the spirit of Ronnie Rocker, Kid Razor's idol and ghostly mentor. She had trapped him in that pendant as a way of punishing Razor for not giving her his magic guitar.

"Really, Captain Rogers…" Selene laughed arrogantly as she dodged Cap's shield and a sonic blast from Sonic Blue. "I have the means to rule the world, and you expect me to give it up? You _are_ more pathetic than I thought!"

"How's _this_ for pathetic! HEAVY…_METAL…**PUNCH**_" Kid Razor roared as he flew out of nowhere. He nailed Selene right in the jaw with a Power of Rock-charged punch. The rainbow-colored mystical energy exploded on contact, sending a screaming Selene flying into a wall. The Serpent Crown was sent flying, and it landed in the arms of Sonic Blue.

"We did it!" Spencer grinned. "Here you go." He handed the Serpent Crown to Namor. The monarch nodded his thanks and took the Crown.

"Now, we must destroy the Crown." Thor said.

"Agreed." Iron Man concurred. Suddenly…

"Aaagh!" Spencer exclaimed as several black tentacles reached out from a shadow in the ground. The tentacles wrapped around Spencer and confined the Iron Speedster in a black sphere.

"Spencer!" Razor exclaimed. Selene rose from the shadow, twisted smirk on her face.

"Dearest Razor…" Selene purred. "You did not believe that I could be defeated so easily, did you?"

"Leave the kid alone, Queenie!" She-Hulk snapped, lifting up a column and holding it like a baseball bat. Selene laughed.

"I do not think so. Kid Razor, you are quite an opponent. Allow me to teach you one of the most important aspects of the superhero world: All superheroes have a bit of tragedy about them." Razor quickly realized what Selene was talking about.

"NO!" Kid Razor exclaimed, rushing to help his friend, the Avengers not far behind. Spencer's screams were heard in the sphere, and then a sickening crack. The sphere released Spencer. His neck was broken and body was limp.

"Oh no!" The Scarlet Witch exclaimed, covering her mouth.

"Oh dear God…" Cap whispered. Selene smiled as Razor ran to the body of one of the only other costumed heroes he could consider a friend.

"Spencer! Speak to me, man! Spencer! SPENCER!" Razor exclaimed, trying to shake Spencer awake. A tear went down his eye as he stared up at Selene, baring gritted teeth, and his green eyes blazing with hatred.

**The Astral Plane, the present day**

A tear went down Ronnie's eye as he remembered the day Selene killed Spencer Burton. She had only done it just to amuse herself, and to get one up on Razor. Razor had beaten her, but she made him pay a price he didn't deserve. On that day, the hatred between Razor and Selene went up to a whole new level. And the worst part was, Ronnie couldn't do a thing to save Spencer. Ronnie remembered the confrontation he and Selene had at the Baxter Building **(1)**.

_Makes fun of my fashion sense and says I can't let go._ Ronnie mentally grumbled. _I'm a ghost, I'm **supposed** to be eternally angry at the person who murdered me! And I can perfectly well change my shape, thank you very much! Just I don't use that talent often, that's all. Well, now I know what's going on. Selene's lost a lot of her power, and now she's decided to reform. Joining the FF, that's irony. She **fought** the FF once, and she's dating the Thing._ Ronnie sighed. _So why do I keep getting the feeling that Selene is being full of it? She's killed hundreds of thousands, pulled unspeakable horrors on people. And what she did to Spencer **after** she killed him…well, that was one example. Traumatized the poor kid so badly he gave up the armor for a while._ Ronnie's eyes narrowed. _Selene__ may claim to be a good guy now, but I'll still keep an eye on her. If she does try anything…I'll make sure Kid Razor tears her apart._

**Cleveland, ****OH**

"Ooh…" Typhoid Mary cooed in curiosity as she poked the wall of the solid sonic sphere she, Pyro, and Eugene was encased in, being dragged by Sonic Blue as he zipped towards a park at incredible speed. Sonic Blue had to be careful in a city. He knew that when he ran at great speed, he created quite a breeze behind him, and in a crowded city street, that could cause disaster. "…pretty…"

"Incredible!" Eugene observed. "A solid sphere made up of pure sonic energy."

"Sounds like you are quite a whiz with mechanical stuff, mate." Pyro chuckled.

"My dad invented this suit." Eugene grinned underneath his Frog-Man hood. "He fought Daredevil with it, but he's retired now. He wasn't really that evil anyway. I guess the whole inventiveness thing runs in the family. I was inspired by Spider-Man to go into the hero business. He thought I shouldn't quit my day job, to say the least." Eugene sighed. "At least I wasn't the Walrus." Eugene smirked. "Another long story, but that guy was the _dumbest_ mother I ever met in my life!"

"We're almost there, you guys!" Spencer announced.

"I'd better double check my controls." Eugene said as he checked the controls on his costume. "I seriously need to get this thing looked at."

"I think I may be able to after this whole thing." Spencer offered. The gang arrived at the park. They saw Kid Razor and Ramada standing in sword-fighting stances. Razor was holding his magic guitar like a sword, and Ramada had her own sword out. The park had several craters, indicating that Razor and Ramada had one heck of a fight. They still exchanged blows in what appeared to be a session of fencing. Ramada charged toward Razor, ready to fire a downward slash. A smirking Razor moved out of the way, did a twirl as Ramada's sword came down, and then nailed her with a roundhouse kick, causing her headband to fly off her head. Altoc, the little disco ball-like orb that was watching the battle noticed.

_Uh oh…_ Altoc thought. _She needs that headband!_ The headband rolled towards Razor. He eyed it and picked it up.

"What's this?" Razor said. Ramada got up and her eyes widened.

"Give me that headband!" She exclaimed. Razor raised a blond eyebrow.

"Why should the Kid of Rock?" Razor asked. He then realized something. Ramada's statement seemed to be one of urgency. His superhuman hearing was able to pick it up. The alien princess seemed to need that headband. Razor smirked. "You need this, don't you?" Ramada growled.

"Enough, Ramada." Altoc floated down. "Kid Razor, please return the headband."

"Heirloom, Disco Ball?" Razor smirked.

"My planet has a red sun." Ramada explained reluctantly. "The radiation from that planet allows my people to become a species with great strength and durability. The jewel on my headband is special. It converts any light that hits it into red solar radiation, allowing me to maintain my powers. Without it, my abilities fade over 24 hours."

_Just like with the Kid of Rock's guitar. If the Kid of Rock doesn't have his guitar with him, his powers fade over 2 hours, and then h reverts back to his normal identity._ Razor thought. He then had an idea.

"Okay…" Razor examined the headband. "Tell you what, Ramada…The Kid of Rock will hand you back your little headband over here if you help clean up this mess." Razor smirked. Ramada looked over at Altoc.

"He is not lying, your majesty. My sensors can tell." Ramada nodded.

"Fine. You have my word. My word is my bond, Kid Razor." Ramada agreed. Razor pitched back her headband and she put it back on. "As for our wedding…"

"Wedding?" Razor groaned. "Look Space Case, things like this are done differently on Earth. Well…in this part of Earth anyway. Besides, that's not really the Kid of Rock's thing anyway." Razor smirked.

"Looks like we were late, Spencer." Eugene blinked.

"Looks like Sonic Blue is more Iron than Speedster." Typhoid joked.

"Oh, stop." Spencer groaned.

**(1) - See "Uncanny Four"**

**_Next: Rampage of Redfoot!_**


	12. Rampage of Redfoot!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", and "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! I'm glad you liked the flashback. It's meant to explain why Kid Razor hates Selene so much. I got another flashback lined up for this chapter as well. It holds another purpose. Yeah, I should've put in a Charlton Heston reference in the scene. I'm glad you liked Typhoid's line. Yeah, in this chapter, Redfoot goes mad…well, madder than usual. I'll see about Amora. Enjoy the new chapter._

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked the Razor/Ramada fight. Yes, Selene did kill Sonic Blue, and yes, he did return from the dead. Don't worry, I got a flashback to explain Spencer Burton's return from the dead. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Hey man, I know guys on _crack_ that makes more sense than you!" - Tom "Tiny" Lister Jr. as a prisoner, Austin Powers in Goldmember**

**_Chapter 12: Rampage of Redfoot!_**

**The Hellfire Club building, Manhattan, six months after the death of Sonic Blue**

Kid Razor flew toward his target like a heat-seeking missile bent on hitting its mark. The last six months were the worst of his life. Razor was still struggling with the death of his best friend, Spencer Burton. Spencer was like a brother to Razor. Razor had found out that Selene had stolen Spencer's body and reanimated it to use as a personal servant. It enraged Razor, and he tracked Selene down. During the fight, Razor ripped the jade music note pendant from around Selene's neck, freeing Ronnie Rocker, Razor's ghostly mentor. Ronnie possessed Spencer's body. Now, Razor found out Selene was keeping Spencer's soul captive, so she could take out her frustrations with Razor on him. Meanwhile, Ronnie, while still in Spencer's body, went to Dr. Strange for some help. The Earth's Sorcerer Supreme told him that he needed Spencer's soul. Ronnie already provided the body. That's why Razor was here. He wanted Spencer's soul, and he was willing to tear Selene to shreds to get his hands on it. He flew into Selene's torture chamber, maintaining his forcefield.

_Like **hell** if the Kid of Rock is going to let that witch go **anywhere** near his mind._ Razor mentally snarled. When Razor had up a Power of Rock forcefield around him, Razor was immune to telepathic detection, probing, and attack. It also applied to empathic powers. Razor discovered that when he got knocked back through time once and fought the Hellions. The smell of brimstone filled the air, a perfect compliment to the torch-lit brick room. _Smells like Nightcrawler after he has bean burritos during teleportation._ Razor mentally grumbled.

"Hello, Kid Razor." A familiar voice purred. Kid Razor turned and snarled. He saw Selene, clad in the robes of the Black Queen, leaning next to a large blue sapphire shaped like a coffin. In it was the trapped soul of one Spencer Allen Burton, and he looked like a real mess.

"Razor…" Spencer moaned from within the crystal coffin.

"Selene, what did you _do_ to him…" Razor snarled. Selene smirked.

"Why that's easy, Razor. I just-"

"_BON **JOVI BOOSTER!**_" Selene never got to finish her sentence, because Razor smashed into her with his Cannonball-esque attack.

**The Astral Plane, present day**

Ronnie Rocker thought about that day when Razor took on Selene to save Spencer's soul.

_It was a success, but at the same time, Razor lost._ Ronnie sighed. _Razor managed to save Spencer's soul, and the body and soul were reunited, bringing Spencer back to life. However, it hurt badly. Spencer was so traumatized, he couldn't wear the armor anymore for a long time. And it changed the boys forever. During that time, Spencer finally learned Kid Razor's secret identity. And of course, it drove a wedge between them. Spencer felt that Razor didn't care about their friendship and didn't trust him. They've healed up a lot in the past year or so, however._ Ronnie's thoughts then drifted towards Selene. _After all she's put me and those I care about through, does she really expect me to believe that she's truly reformed? She said that Kid Razor would be in for one hell of a fight if he tried to take her on again. Evidently, she conveniently forgot that Kid Razor's one hell of a fighter. He likes long odds. But no sense going off half-cocked. If Selene **does** try something, Razor will get her. _

**Cincinnati****Ohio**

There was panic in the streets in Cincinnati. Keith Michaels, the armored lunatic known as Redfoot, zipped up and down the streets of Cincinnati happily, cackling like the madman he was. It had been a day since the Ramada thing, and Redfoot had been hiding out. Spencer found out about Redfoot's escape, but unfortunately, was unable to do anything right away because he was asked to help Dr. Strange with some interdimensional problem **(1)**. So, Spencer called on a friend to help him watch over Cincinnati for him for a while.

**Spencer's Lab**

In Spencer's lab, which basically was an old warehouse, Eugene Patilio was working on the modifications to his costume that Spencer and he had been fabricating all night. He looked really tired. Eugene yawned.

"I need coffee…" Eugene mumbled. The TV in the lab went to a news report.

"In local news, a state of emergency is declared in Cincinnati, as Redfoot, the twisted armored psycho, escaped from prison and went on a rampage." The reporter said.

"Oh my God!" Eugene exclaimed. "I have to go help-" He made a move to grab his costume, but he fell flat on his face. "Zzzzzzzzz…"

**Cincinnati**

"So many people to kill, so little time!" Keith cackled crazily. He created small red spheres of red sonic energy. At high speed, he pitched the spheres at cars, buildings, and even people. When they hit something, they exploded, increasing their destructive power more. Keith whooped and laughed happily as he heard the people screaming and destruction in his wake. He saw some cop cars race after him. He grinned madly. "Oh look. The piggies want to play." Keith cackled. "Alright, let's play!" Keith doubled back and raced towards the cop cars, blowing their engines out with red sonic blasts. He stopped, and pulled a cop out of the car. "Only place you belong is in my bacon sandwich." Keith growled. He started smashing the cop's head against the car, singing. "_Oh I love to beat up pigs in the morrrrrrrning…_" A high-pitched whine was heard. "What?" He couldn't recognize the whine. Spencer's armor also made a high-pitched whine, but Keith could easily recognize it. It haunted his dreams and ruled his nightmares. A red-and-white blur zipped out of nowhere and smashed into Redfoot, sending the screaming psycho flying into another cop car. Keith snarled.

"What's the matter, Redfoot? Surprised to learn you're not the _only_ armored speedster around?" A feminine voice laughed. Keith snarled at a pretty young teenage girl, around 17, with an athletic but curvy frame. She was clad in red futuristic armor with white and silver highlights. White lightning bolts adorned her shoulders, and there were rings of silver lightning bolts around her lower legs, lower arms, and waist. On her chest was a white maple leaf, like the leaf on the Canadian flag, with a red stylized 'R' over it, and the same emblem on the sides of her legs. Her head was covered by a red-and-white helmet with a silver visor. A long black braid peeked out from under the helmet. "Remember me, buddy?"

"Oh yeah." Keith growled. "Rush. Canada's answer to Sonic Blue." Rush was a teenage track athlete named Riley Lee Oulette. Spencer and Riley first met at an international track meet, and they became friends. Riley admitted that she was a fan of Sonic Blue, and she wondered if she could have a suit of super-fast armor to defend her hometown of Toronto. At first, Spencer was reluctant to give her a suit, but after she helped him take down Redfoot, Spencer built her a suit of armor, and she became Rush, the Canadian answer to Sonic Blue. She mostly was a local hero, but she also held membership in Alpha Flight, Canada's premiere super-team.

"You got that right. Sorry Spencer couldn't make it. He had some business to attend to with some doctor **(1)**, and he asked me to take over for him for a while." Riley smirked. Keith snarled.

"If you had any brains, you'd fear me, Oulette. Remember what I did to those cops back in Toronto? And _that_ was just because they ticked me off." Keith grinned madly.

"Oh shut up, Michaels!" Rush grumbled. She fired a red laser beam from her hand at Keith. The beam hit Keith hard, sending him through the car, and into a wall. "Repulsor beams. Man, I love these things." Rush laughed. Keith snarled and smashed into her with a high-speed charge. It degenerated into a high-speed race through the streets of Cincinnati, throwing punches. Rush found herself having to do a lot of ducking, dodging and maneuvering more than Redfoot. Keith smirked at Riley.

"What's the matter, Oulette?" Keith laughed. "Not too familiar with these streets, huh?" Keith slowed down, and grabbed Riley. "Allow me to familiarize you with Cincinnati's streets!" He smashed Riley into the ground and with one mighty shove, sent the red-armored girl into a wall. Riley groaned. She looked at her lower arm. A panel opened up, revealing a line of ten lights. Eight of them were lighting up white.

_Dang it! It's not fully charged! Once it is, I can use my little ace-in-the-hole to take down Redfoot!_ Riley mentally grumbled.

**A bar in the Yeager District, Cleveland**

The Yeager District. It was a special district because it held most of Cleveland's mutant population, even though Cleveland is a rather mutant-friendly city. Two well-known mutants were right now enjoying a drink. One was Tusk, and the other was a Caucasian woman dressed in a purple sweater and jeans. Her long black hair was in a braid, and her eyes were gray. Her name was Janet Steele, but she was also known as Iron Maiden. She was a mutant with powers like Colossus: The ability to sheath herself in organic steel, granting her great strength and toughness. Unlike Colossus, she could mold the organic steel plating to form spikes, blades, tentacles, and the like. Like Tusk, she wasn't a real supervillain, just a real pain. She wanted to be a superhero like Kid Razor, but her attempts often led to disaster and fistfights with Razor. She was thinking, staring at her beer bottle.

"Hey Tusk, you know, I've been thinking." Janet said to Tusk. "You know that Razor had just disappeared **(1)**, right?"

"He'll be back." Tusk grumbled, taking a sip of his beer.

"Well, he's got no one else to back up for him since most of the other heroes don't like him." Janet answered.

"What about that Frog-Man nerd?"

"He's in Cincinnati, getting his stupid outfit fixed up by Sonic Blue, last I heard."Janet grumbled. "Well anyway, I was thinking, if we can do a good job taking over for Razor, I can prove to him that I can be a superhero!" Janet grinned. Tusk laughed.

"Yeah right! I'd like to see you try!" Tusk laughed. He found a metal fist hitting his face. "OWWWW!"

**(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**_Next: The Night of the Living Substitutes!_**


	13. The Night of The Living Substitutes!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! See? I **told** you I'd have a flashback that explained how Spencer's returned from the dead. Actually, Razor and Sonic Blue had a long time for their friendship to heal up, and as you see, they're doing just fine. I'm glad you liked my character of Rush, and the battle between her and Redfoot. Yeah, Iron Maiden taking a shot at being __Cleveland__'s resident superhero and poor ol' Tusk is being dragged along for the ride. Yeah, I have heard of that old Spider-Man comic. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! Nice to hear from you again. I don't know if the rules allow me to feature Bret Michaels of Poison in the fic, but I do agree with you: He deserves a beatdown for going to country. You're very welcome! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for the new chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapters of "Little Shop of Mutants", and I loved them! I can hardly wait to see the dentist! Glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Little Shop of Mutants", "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Welcome to the __Enchanted __Land__!"_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! Glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Redfoot is going to end up back in his chair. As for Amora, I'll wait and see how it plays out in "Uncanny Excalibur" before I do anything with her. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Oh my God! Einhorn's a man!" - Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, Ace ****Ventura****: Pet Detective (One of my favorite movies!)**

**_Chapter 13: The Night of The Living Substitutes!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

**_BRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIING!_**

A bank alarm sounded out and the people inside were curled up against the floor.

"Man, I rock! WHOO!" A man in a green costume with yellow lightning bolts and a five-pointed star-shaped lightning bolt-tipped mask whooped as he blasted the electronic lock with a bolt of lightning from his yellow-gloved hand. This superpowered criminal was known as Electro, a regular foe of Spider-Man. He was a lineman named Max Dillon, and he gained his powers when he got struck by lightning while working on power lines. "Oh man, Kid Razor leaving provided me, Electro, the ultimate opportunity! Now this town is defenseless!" He grinned as he walked to the vault. He was about to force it open when he heard a voice behind him.

"You forgot Electro, Cleveland is not completely defenseless." A voice said. Electro turned around and saw what appeared to be a silver female version of Colossus, silver hair in a braid, and clad in a one-piece black swimsuit-like costume. Behind her, leaning against a wall, was a very bored-looking Tusk.

"Who…are you?" Electro snorted.

"A Silver Sable wannabe." Tusk snickered. Iron Maiden glared at the mammoth-like mutant, and conked him on the head. "Hey! That hurt!"

"You! Quiet!" Janet snapped.

"Oh great, that idiot Iron Maiden is here." One bank teller grumbled to another. "Why did Kid Razor decide to disappear?" Electro overheard the remark.

"God knows." The other teller replied. Electro smirked at the metal woman.

"Lady, I'm not as stupid as other people think." Electro grinned. "I know that metal conducts electricity!" Electro blasted Iron Maiden with a thunderbolt, knocking her cold. Electro's jaw dropped as he saw what he just realized what he just did. "I…I…I…I beat a superhero! YES! I DID IT! WHOO! GO ELECTRO! ELECTRO POWER!" He started during an idiotic dance which involved him shaking his butt. Tusk rolled his eyes, not moving.

_This guy is an idiot. I can't believe he actually beat Spider-Man once. The webhead must've been intoxicated that day._ Tusk continued staring at the goofy supervillain. The mammoth-like mutant rolled his eyes, then walked up to the living electrical generator, Electro not noticing because he was too busy singing and dancing. Tusk conked him on the head, knocking him out. "Idiot." He grumbled. Tusk turned to a teller. "Call the cops and tell them that you got an idiot here."

"W-w-what about her?" He pointed at Janet Steele/Iron Maiden. Tusk looked at Janet and shrugged.

"Tell 'em she was drinking."

**A few minutes later**

The cops came by to take Electro into custody.

"Let me get this straight…" Sgt. Polanski groaned, pinching his nose as he was talking to a witness. "Iron Maiden and Tusk came by, Maiden wanting to be a superhero. Electro kicks her butt, and Tusk knocks him out."

"Yep. It was weird." The witness replied. "I'm telling you sir, that was the shortest and strangest super-brawl I have ever seen in my life. Seriously." Meanwhile, Briscoe was talking to Tusk.

"I just got dragged into her stupidity." Tusk concluded. "Hard to believe that idiot Electro beat Spider-Man once."

"I hear that." Briscoe nodded.

"Ohhhh…" Iron Maiden moaned as she got to her feet slowly. She de-armored, returning to her normal human state. "What happened? Did I beat him?" Tusk nodded.

"Yeah, you made him run into the cop car screaming for his mama." Tusk joked with a snicker. "He begged the cops to take him away."

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

"HA!" Redfoot fired a red sonic burst right into the chest of Rush, sending the armored Canadian flying into a car.

"Ugh!" Riley grunted as she got to her feet. Redfoot cackled as he started zipping back and forth past Riley, pounding her with his armored fists every time he passed by her.

"HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" Keith cackled as he nailed Riley over and over again. "Forget you Rush! You suck! You're just a second-rate Sonic Blue! You are going to be fun to kill. I'll be sure to mail your internal organs back to Canada. You know, maybe I'll film me killing you and send it to your family. Would be good for some moments." Rush snarled at the psychotic armored speedster.

"Keep dreaming, Michaels." Rush snarled. Upon Keith's next pass, Riley grabbed the red-armored lunatic's arm, and pulled on it. Riley started spinning around and around like a ballet dancer, taking a screaming Redfoot with her.

"Let me go! I'm going to hurl!" Keith yelled.

"Have a nice trip!" Riley grinned. She let go of Keith, sending the insane teenager skyrocketing into a truck. The truck exploded in a huge roar. Rush eyed the lights on her arm. All ten were lighting up with a white glow. _Sweet! If Redfoot survived that explosion, my little ace-in-the-hole can deal with him._ Redfoot got up, his armor on fire and burnt in places.

"You're _dead_, Rush!" Keith snarled. He charged at her. Rush's red-armored fist glowed white. She pointed it at the lunatic, and a white beam flew out of her fist with a futuristic vrooming sound. The beam hit Keith, and he started to slow down. He froze up completely when his fist was just about to hit Riley's head, causing him to curse like a sailor.

"You like that, eh?" Rush smirked. "I call it my Rush Stopper. It's my little secret weapon. It temporarily slows down moving objects until they stop completely. It takes a lot of power, so I don't use it often." She patted Keith's head. "Relax, Keith. The effect is only temporary. Pretty soon, you'll be back in your nice comfy wheelchair." Keith got very panicky.

"**_NOOOOOOOOOOOO!_**" Keith screamed in horror. "**_NOT THE CHAIR! I'D RATHER DIE THAN GET BACK IN THAT CHAIR! NOOOOO! NO GOD NO! MY LEGS! WHERE ARE MY LEGS! SOMEONE TOOK MY LEGS! AAAAAAAAAARGH!"_**

**_Next: Predator and Prey!_**


	14. Predator and Prey!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the super-battle in the last chapter! I would not be surprised if Iron Maiden took Tusk's joke wrong and tried to continue on with the heroism stuff, heh heh. I'm glad you liked the Rush Stopper. Rush and Sonic Blue are only friends. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there Red Witch! I see you finally got around to reading this fic! What do you think of it so far? I read the new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff" as well as "Memories are Made of This", and I loved them! __Duncan__ bashing and base explosions.__ Gotta love them. I'm glad you liked the chapters so far, and I hope you continue reading this fic! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories are Made of This"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! I'm glad you liked seeing Electro being stupid and the Tusk/Iron Maiden banter. Razor is not going to be in this chapter. This chapter focuses on Ramada and Frog-Man. You'll hear the line. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapter of "Slugs and Snails", and I loved it! You used my ideas! You rock! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Welcome to the __Enchanted __Land__"!_

**Disclaimer: "My advice to you: Start drinking heavily." - John Belushi as John "Bluto" Blutarsky, Animal House**

**_Chapter 14: Predator and Prey!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

On top of a building, sat the space princess named Ramada, her legs dangling over the edge. The yellow and gold-clad warrior ran a hand through her black-and-blonde hair. She was in a rare state for her: She was deep in thought. Altoc, her companion who resembled a small disco ball, floated up to her.

"A penny for your thoughts, Ramada?" Altoc asked, flashing white as he spoke. Ramada said.

"Yes, Altoc. I was thinking about Kid Razor." Ramada replied. "You know Kid Razor asked me to watch over Cleveland for him while he had to go to another dimension **(1)**." She looked at Altoc. "I wish for some more…challenge in my defense of Cleveland. I want to prove to my beloved Razor that I am truly worthy of being his bride."

**Elsewhere in ****Cleveland**

"Eek! Help me!" A woman screamed as a thief made off with her purse. "That thief's stolen my purse!"

"Heh heh heh…with Kid Razor gone, getting a few bucks in this town is a snap!" The thief grinned to himself. That was, until he got knocked off his feet. "What?" He looked up to see what appeared to be a slightly chubby person in a green armored frog costume. The costume had a dark green chestplate with yellow triangular shoulder armor and a yellow diamond emblem with a stylized gold 'F' in the diamond. The gloves of the armor were yellow and there appeared to be a large yellow revolver barrel mounted around each arm. The boots were dark green and webbed, with small jets mounted on the back of them. A dark green futuristic-looking power pack of some kind was on his back, and there were two black hoses mounted into the sides of the pack, and they went to his collar. The helmet of the armor was green, and it was shaped like a frog's head. "Who are _you?_"

"I am…the Fabulous Frog-Man…version 2.0." Eugene Patilio snickered. The voice changer in the helmet made his voice look electronic. _Okay, Spencer and my modifications are going well, so far. Too bad that he's not a real supervillain, because if he was, I could really test out this modified costume and see what it can do._

"Oh, look. A dead guy." The thief smirked, whipping out a gun and firing it. The bullets just bounced off the Frog-Man's armored chest. "_What?_"

"Nice try, my friend." Frog-Man said. He took the thief's gun and crushed it in his hand. The thief then fainted. Frog-Man shrugged. He took the purse and hopped over to the woman.

"Here you go, ma'am." Frog-Man handed back the purse.

"Thank you!" The woman smiled.

"All in a day's work for the Fabulous Frog-Man, ma'am." Frog-Man bowed. _It's a real shame that I didn't get a chance to really see what this armor can do. _Eugene mentally sighed. His long-range scanners detected something. He looked behind him and saw something in the sky. _Looks like I may get my shot after all._

**Elsewhere in ****Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Ramada! Look!" Altoc exclaimed. Ramada stood up as she looked into the sky. She saw a spaceship fly down towards Cleveland. "It can't be! Ramada…why would they…"

"They probably know I'm here. And they've must've been itching for a rematch. I heard one of them took on an Earthman **(2)**." Ramada smirked. "The Earthmen call them 'Predators'. Appropriate. If they wish to face me again…then it shall be!" Ramada unsheathed her sword. "To battle!" She flew down to where the ship was about to land. "Come, Predators! Come down and accept Ramada's challenge for a rematch!"

"Ramada!" Altoc yelled. "You shouldn't mess around when it comes to Predators!"

"I do not fear those space dogs!" Ramada crowed. "As the Earthmen say, if they want some, they can come and get some!"

"You certainly showed that you were unafraid of Predators, Ramada." Altoc sighed. "You ambushed a clan of them in that bar in Praxas VI!"

"They were warriors by nature! They should've been prepared for a barfight." Ramada sniffed arrogantly.

"Ramada, Predators don't believe in ambushing. They're hunters. They believe in single warriors taking on single prey. They live by a very strict code of honor. If you insult that honor, they get revenge. If you ambush a clan, a clan will come after you." Altoc warned. Ramada scowled at the floating disco ball-like machine.

"They can send down as many as they want! Ramada will face them all! _To battle!_" Ramada took to the air and flew towards the ship.

"Oh dear…" Altoc sighed. "So impulsive, and such a temper. It's a wonder she still lives." Meanwhile, Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man, was also hopping toward the scene, using the jets on his boots to increase his jumping speed and distance.

"My scans can't identify that spaceship." Eugene mumbled to himself. "Something tells me that I'm going be able to give this modified costume a real field test." The ship landed in the middle of a city street, causing cars to stop suddenly and crash, and people to freak out. "Oh boy." He gulped.

**In a nearby alley**

"Hand over your money!" A thief shouted at an elderly couple, pointing a gun at them. The frightened elder couple threw out their valuables. The thief, still jeeping his gun on them, picked the valuables up. He put them in his jacket pocket. The thief smirked evilly as he wrapped his other hand around his gun. _No witnesses. Oh yeah, this is going to be the perfect crime, baby. _The thief cocked his gun. He was about to fire the gun at the innocent elderly couple when he suddenly got impaled from behind by a blade. The elderly couple screamed in horror as the thief's body was dropped to the ground and their savior revealed himself. It was a Predator.

**(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**(2) - In "Uncanny Wolverine", Wolverine fought a Predator**

**_Next: Way To Go, Ramada! _**


	15. Way To Go, Ramada!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you like the fic so far! Yeah, alien hunters and slightly crazed space princesses. Oh yeah, __Cleveland__ needs plenty of those, Red. __Cleveland__ does indeed need plenty of those. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff", and "Memories Are Made of This"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked seeing the new and improved Frog-Man, and with this new outfit, he's well on his way to truly being Fabulous. I don't think he'll still get taken seriously by the other heroes, but Eugene's more confident in himself, so that's all that really matters. Yeah, it figures that since Razor's away, he figured he'd call on Ramada to watch over his town while he was gone with Excalibur. And there's more than one in town. Try a whole clan. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new one, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Little Shop of Mutants", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Tales From the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there R-Man! Oh yeah, you **bet** that this is going to be good. Ramada joining forces to take on a clan of Predators. There will be property damage. You wanted me to write a Predator impale someone, so I wrote the Predator impaling someone. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more of your work!_

**Disclaimer: "Who loves you, baby?" - Telly Savalas as Kojak, Kojak**

**_Chapter 15: Way to Go, Ramada!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

Bolts of energy whizzed upwards through the sky. The bolts were trying to hit what appeared to be a Hispanic flying girl in a gold costume, black-and-blonde hair, and a sword. The girl wasn't a Hispanic girl, though. She was actually an alien warrior princess named Ramada. Ramada was watching over Cleveland while its resident superhero, the super-powered teenage rock musician known as the Fearless Kid Razor, was out taking care of some business in another dimension **(1)**. Ramada was dodging blasts from the shoulder cannons of Predators. Predators were a race of alien warrior/hunters who searched the universe looking for species they could challenge to fights. Predators have been on Earth before and they did find challenges **(2)**. Ramada, however, before coming to Earth seeking out Kid Razor as a potential husband, had done something to insult the proud warriors, and a clan came to Cleveland to return the favor.

"Ha ha ha!" Ramada arrogantly laughed as she effortlessly flew through the minefield of laser fire. Stupid braided fools. Their laser fire made it easy for me to see their location. The alien girl swooped down like a golden bird of prey and took out two invisible Predators with two punches. The aliens were sent flying. One landed on a garbage can near Eugene who was hopping onto the scene. The alien smashed his invisibility device in the fall, causing it to become visible.

"What the?" Eugene pulled off the unconscious alien's helmet, revealing the Predator's real face. "Ewww…you are one ugly mother…" The Predator's eyes snapped open and its shoulder cannon activated. "Uh oh. YEOW!" Eugene was barely able to dodge the blast in time. "What in the name of-?" Eugene reacted quickly, firing some of his "Frog Darts", which were really knockout darts, from his gauntlets. The firing sound was like the sound of a gun with a silencer firing. The darts nailed the alien right between the eyes. However, it didn't seem to slow the Predator down much. The Predator unsheathed his wrist claws. "Who're you supposed to be? A poor man's Wolverine?" The Predator grunted as he charged Eugene. The chubby student screamed and hopped towards where Ramada was fighting.

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Sergeants Briscoe and Polanski screamed. They were rushing to the scene in their cruiser when the second Predator smashed into their car, becoming visible in the process. The shock caused the cruiser to swerve and crash into a telephone pole. Moaning, both Polanski and Briscoe emerged from their squad car.

"You see kiddies? This is why you should wear your seatbelts." Briscoe giggled goofily as she and Polanski stumbled around in a daze. The two officers then collapsed.

"Ha ha!" Ramada laughed as she blocked a Predator's attempt to impale her with his wrist claws with her sword. "I have not had battle this enjoyable in quite sometime." Ramada gleefully punched the Predator out. She turned around and saw a Predator about to blast her with his shoulder cannon. The alien hunter grunted when out of nowhere, he got drop-kicked by the new and improved Fabulous Frog-Man. Ramada blinked.

"We meet again, Ramada." Eugene said.

"I remember you." Ramada crossed her arms. "You were the one in that garish costume. What did they call you? Frog Man?"

"I got some improvements." Eugene replied. "The Frog-Man's better than ever. He heard something was going on in this town."

"Nothing I cannot handle." Ramada shrugged. "Just some mere Predators."

"Predators? What are Predators?"

"Like myself, Predators do not come from Earth." Ramada explained. "Predators are a race of creatures who are dedicated to the hunt. They travel the galaxy looking for prey they will have a challenge hunting down. I have fought Predators before. They usually come as a party of one, not as a full clan."

"Well then, why is a clan here then?" Eugene grumbled. Ramada shrugged.

"I'll tell you why." Altoc floated down. The disco ball-like orb had stayed out of sight for the battle. "Ramada ambushed a clan of Predators a few of your Earth weeks ago at the Star Stop." The Star Stop was an intergalactic truck stop. **(A/N: The Star Stop is from the Sensational She-Hulk comics that ran back in the late 80s to the early 90s)**

"They failed to show me the proper respect. I am a princess, after all." Ramada sniffed.

_Sheesh! And they say Kid Razor himself is arrogant._ Eugene mentally chuckled.

"I am a royal, and I will not tolerate those who do not treat my royal status with the proper respect." Ramada grumbled.

Oh yeah, Kid Razor may be arrogant, but he's got **nothing** on Ramada! Eugene mentally groaned.

"Predators do not care about the status of non-Predators, Ramada. You should know that." Altoc groaned.

"So that explains it." Eugene crossed his arms. "A clan is here because they want a piece of you for insulting them."

"They couldn't take a joke." Ramada scoffed.

"You call attacking a group of Predators for practically no reason a joke?" Eugene blinked.

"They found it amusing to not treat me and my royal title with the proper respect, so I found amusement in giving them the royal physical beating they deserved." A sound was heard, and the two dodged a pair of blast from shoulder cannons.

"Oh man, I better get out of here." Altoc quickly flew up into the air, safely away of the battle. His sensors would allow him to keep track of Ramada.

"To battle!" Ramada crowed as she charged the Predator, dueling with it sword-to-wrist-blades. Frog-Man tore a streetlamp off the street and took down two more of the alien hunters. "Ha ha! Are you enjoying the rush of battle, Frog-Man? These are some real opponents! I hope they satisfied the craving of a real challenge you and your new suit desired."

"Oh, I'm getting a challenge alright." Eugene panted as he backflipped to avoid a slash from a Predator's wrist claws, and nailed it across the face with a punch. "Ramada, never go around demanding respect again!"

"If people would start giving it, I wouldn't demand it so much." Ramada growled as she lifted one Predator up and smashed it spine-first through a car's hood. Two Predators were about to ambush the alien princess and armored human, but they got blasted from behind. One was hit in the back with a blast of rainbow-colored energy, and the other was hit by a beam of blue sonic power. Overhearing the commotion, Frog-Man and Ramada looked up. They saw Kid Razor and Sonic Blue standing on a car, arms crossed.

"Sorry we're late." Spencer smiled. "We were busy in another dimension **(3)**."

"Is this party exclusive or can anyone come in and have some fun?" Kid Razor smirked.

**(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**(2) - In "Uncanny Wolverine", Logan/Wolverine battled a Predator**

**(3) - Kid Razor and Sonic Blue were fighting Dormammu in "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**_Next: The Return!_**


	16. The Return!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there Aaron! Ramada is extremely proud of the fact that she's a princess. She likes being a royal, and she does find it insulting if people don't acknowledge her royalty. That's right! Kid Razor and Sonic Blue are back in town, and ready to rock! I think the Predators are in trouble! And you won't **believe** what I have planned next! Trust me, you'll love it! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there todd fan! I read the new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and I loved them! Hasn't it ever occurred to Liz to just simply walk up to __Logan__, strike up a conversation with him, and **ask** him out on a date? I'm sure she can talk about things __Logan__ likes, like beer…and killing things. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new one, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Slugs and Snails (Gelder's nuts!)", "Random Tales from the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! I read the new chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and I loved it! Forge and Rogue are getting closer and the Brotherhood are rebelling! Awesome! Yeah, I'm glad you liked this story so far! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and "Forge's Secret"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, this is going to be wild! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'll keep going! I can hardly wait to read more from you! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Valor, Venom, and Other Stuff"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! I'm glad you liked the property damage done in this scene! Well, I had to do a surprise visit from Sonic Blue and Kid Razor. They are the stars of the show! Well, I'm sure Amora had business to take care of in her native Asgard. A lot of people like seeing Spencer and Amora paired up for some reason. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To MCM: Hey there MCM! Man, I haven't heard from you in a very long time! Where the heck have you been all this time? Yeah, the Sonic Blue/Enchantress pairing seems to be quite popular. I have some reservations about it myself. Although I may have an idea… Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "It breathes. We can kill it." - ****Arnold**** Schwarzenegger**

**_Chapter 16: The Return!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Ramada, Frog-Man, did you two invite these guys for a party while we were away?" Razor teased with a grin as he ducked a Predator that tried to take a flying leap at him. The alien hunter smashed into a telephone pole face first with a SQUELCH! The alien grunted as it fell to the ground.

"We were bored, my beloved. I hope you didn't mind." Ramada chuckled as she thrust her sword at a Predator. Razor walked over to the Predator who got a faceful of telephone pole. The super-powered teenage rocker turned the alien over and ripped off the alien hunter's helmet. The Fearless One sneered at the Predator's pasty yellow skin and tusks around its mouth.

"Yech…" Razor sneered. "You ain't gonna win any beauty contests, pal. You are one really ugly mother…" The Predator's eyes opened and its wrist claws were unleashed. "You know, Wolverine is not going to be happy with you taking his gimmick YEOW!" Razor barely managed to dodge the Predator's wrist claws as the creature lurched to its feet. Razor backflipped to Frog-Man, who just took out a Predator with a punch to the jaw. "Yo Patilio, you ever noticed that these things are a bunch of ugly mother…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. That line seems to fly around a lot lately." Eugene nodded. A couple Predators were getting driven crazy by Sonic Blue's high-speed attacks.

"I'll bet these things never faced someone who can outrun a cheetah!" Spencer smirked as he blasted the two Predators with high-speed punches. He finished them off by grabbing a car and smashing it on top of the alien hunters. Ramada slashed a Predator in the chest. Frog-Man dropkicked one into a downed power line. Razor managed to nail a couple with his trademark maneuver: The Rockstar Superkick, which was a Power of Rock-charged superkick.

**Cleveland****, a couple hours later**

In a diner, the four heroes sat down at a table, enjoying milkshakes.

"Mmm…" Ramada licked her lips. "This thick liquid is absolutely **_delightful!_** What is it called again?"

"Chocolate milkshake, Ramada." Razor said.

"Nothing like these on my native Torac." Ramada smiled. "I must find out how this wonderous liquid is made."

"It's milk shaken up." Razor quipped.

"Well, we really took it to those Predator things." Eugene chuckled.

"More chocolate milkshake!" Ramada demanded loudly. "I must have more chocolate milkshake! Give me more chocolate milkshake!"

"So, what's your plan, Frog-Face?" Razor asked. A waitress walked up with four chocolate milkshakes.

"Finally, the server arrives!" Ramada groaned.

"Well…" Eugene thought about it. "I'm going to Cincinnati with Spence. I'm going to help him out in his lab and get some crimefighting experience in."

"I wish to stay here in Cleveland alongside my beloved." Ramada purred, stroking Razor's arm. Razor calmly got up, dragged Spencer to his seat, and then sat down in Spencer's old seat.

"Thanks, Razor." Spencer rolled his eyes. "You're so considerate. As if I got enough problems."

"Anyway, the Kid of Rock has some business to take care of." Razor got up.

"What kind of business?" Ramada scratched her head.

"RAMADA! WHERE ARE YOU!" Altoc yelled as he flew by the window.

"Oh look, Disco Ball is lost." Razor snickered. "Anyway, the Kid of Rock has gotta go." Razor ran out of the diner and took off into the air in a forcefield of rainbow-colored light. The other three costumed adventurers looked at each other.

"What was **that** about?" Eugene blinked. Spencer and Ramada shrugged.

**Nick Fury's off ice, the SHIELD Helicarrier**

"Ahh…" Nick Fury smiled as he pulled out a bottle of brandy from his fridge. "I've been waiting for six months for this stuff to arrive. I can hardly wait to try it out."

"Too bad you won't get to." A voice said from behind. Fury turned around and he saw Kid Razor.

"How did you-!" Fury didn't get to finish his sentence. Razor angrily ripped the brandy bottle out of the veteran's hand and smashed it upside Fury's head. The Ultimate Rockstar sneered at the spy, and started rooting through his file cabinet.

"Here it is." Razor said to himself, pulling out a file folder with his name on it. _Parkins__, Robert R., aka Kid Razor._ Razor scowled. He pulled out another file folder. _Burton__, Spencer A, aka Sonic Blue._ Razor mentally read the folder. The Ultimate Rockstar leafed through the two file folders. "Oh yeah, everything on me and Spence." Razor scowled at the downed Fury. The Fearless One glared at Fury, waving the file folders. "Fury, there's still something in this country called the right to privacy." _The Kid of Rock must thank Warbird for letting the Kid of Rock know about this._ **(1)**

**The outskirts of Cleveland**

**_CRASH!_** A green insect-like spacecraft ended up getting planted into the ground head-first.

"WHOOOO!" A trio of guys hooted as they stumbled out of the downed craft, carrying beers. They appeared to have had odd markings around their eyes, and their heads looked like black-tipped arrowheads. The black "hair" they had was actually feathers. They were Shi'Ar, a bird-like alien race that often encountered the X-Men. They all wore yellow sweaters with three strange symbols on the chest, black pants, and white boots. The three drunken aliens looked rather young, around their late teens. They staggered into the city, spitting out hoots, hollers, and bad jokes.

**(1) - In "Uncanny Excalibur", Carol Danvers/Warbird tells Kid Razor she read a file on him that SHIELD had. You can bet Razor wouldn't be too happy about that.**

**_Next: When Drunken Worlds Collide! Kid Razor and Ramada must deal with the stupidest alien invasion to ever hit Earth: Drunk superpowered Shi'Ar fraternity brothers. I don't think the X-Men will be needed with this. _**


	17. When Drunken Worlds Collide!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To mattb3671: Hey there matt! Nice to hear from you again, my friend! Yeah, that disclaimer was a line from Predator. I thought it would be appropriate for a chapter that had Predators in it. Yeah, drunken Shi'Ar are fun. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Man is Australian for Mutant"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Yeah, drunken Shi'Ar. Man, Marvel should do something like that. You know, have funny moments in their comics. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked the fight with the Predators. Yeah that "ugly mother" line gets passed around a whole lot in a Predator-based storyline. As for Fury, well, Razor likes his privacy when he can get it. It is disturbing that Fury would keep files on the other heroes, especially considering all the insanity that's going on in DC comics right now. Yeah, everybody for some reason loves the idea of Amora getting with Spencer. I have reservations about it. She's a near-immortal manipulative sorceress, and he's a teenage inventor. Oh well. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, drunken aliens! Only **my** crazy mind could cook **that** up. Yes, I am now legally allowed to drink here in the __United States of America__. I love it! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Random Tales from the Magic Roundabout", and "Little Shop of Mutants"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, the drunken Shi'Ar are coming! That "ugly mother" line gets passed around a whole lot. I have reservations myself about the whole thing myself. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Haretrigger: Hey there, Haretrigger! Nice to hear from you again! Well, you know Kid Razor. The man values his privacy, and the thought of Fury having files on himself and the other heroes is very disturbing to him. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I love the smell of napalm in the morning. Smells like…victory."**

**_Chapter 17: When Drunken Worlds Collide!_**

**A bookstore in Cleveland**

A teenage girl, who appeared to be Latina, stood in front of a rack of graphic novels, staring at them. In her hand, there was a Big Gulp that she was sipping out of a straw. She was dressed in a black Scorpions t-shirt that showed her midriff, golden bracelets on her arms, and golden leather pants with a black studded belt with white sneakers. She ran a hand through her back-length black hair with blonde tips. She also had what appeared to be a sash across her chest which connected to a scabbard on her back, and was wearing a golden headband with a red jewel in the center. Her dark brownish-golden eyes betrayed immense boredom and showed her growing impatience. She was Ramada, a powerful alien warrior princess who came to Earth seeking a mate. She had chosen Cleveland's own resident super-powered rockstar, The Fearless Kid Razor, for the job. However, Razor managed to defeat her in battle.

"Hey, uh…you're…uh…Ramada, right?" A feminine voice said. Ramada's eyes narrowed.

"I am royalty. I _demand_ that you refer to me as Her Royal…" She turned and saw Altoc. Standing behind her was Joan Frehley and Robert Parkins, Kid Razor's civilian alter ego. "Oh…hello, Altoc…heh heh…"

"See, Joanie? I told you. A real-life alien princess." Bobby said to Joan. Ramada looked at Bobby.

"Ah yes, Kid Razor told me about you. You were the one that provided me with these clothes." Ramada's face formed a smile.

_Yeah, good thing Kid Razor knows Roxy._ Bobby said to himself.

"Ramada, what are you up to?" Altoc asked sternly.

"Let me get this straight." Joan said to Bobby. "This Ramada girl here came to our planet wanting Kid Razor as a husband?"

"…yeah." Bobby nodded.

"Kid Razor would provide strong blood for the future of my family." Ramada smiled.

"Unfortunately, Ramada tends to lack…grace in her proposals." Altoc sighed. Ramada glared at the orb.

"I should have thrown you in one of those…what do humans call them…oh yes, cement mixers!" Ramada snapped at the orb.

"You're taking this well, Joan." Bobby noted. Joan rolled her eyes.

"Bobby…this is Cleveland. Do you have any _idea_ what kind of crazy stuff happens around here?" Joan reminded. "Sorcerers, monsters, mutants, super-villains…Heck, I would not be surprised if a bunch of drunken alien fraternity brothers walked in right now demanding booze." A crashing was heard.

"WE WANT BOOZE!" The four heard voices demand.

"Me and my big mouth." Joan groaned. The three drunken Shi'Ar walked in. One was very tall and muscular, a second was skinny and sleek-bodied, and the third was average height and build.

"Booze!" The big Shi'Ar yelled out. His voice was like a stereotypical hick.

"Yeah, heh heh." The skinny Shi'Ar chuckled, slurring a little. The average-built Shi'Ar staggered to the front desk.

"Hey barkeep!" He slurred. "Give us booze!"

"I'm no barkeep!" The cashier snapped as he turned around. "This is a bookstore! The bar is over on…" He blinked at the Shi'Ar. "What the hell are you?" The three drunken Shi'Ar became angry.

"Oh God…" Joan groaned. Ramada growled and unsheathed her sword.

"Shi'Ar." Ramada noticed. Joan and Ramada turned and noticed that Bobby was gone. "Huh?"

"Typical Bobby. Neither here nor around when you need him." Joan grumbled. A guitar riff was heard. A hole got blown in the roof, and Kid Razor floated down.

"Typical Razor. He lacks class like you, Ramada." Altoc chuckled.

"Oh shut up." Ramada grumbled under her breath. She grinned up at Razor as he landed. "Hello, beloved." Razor rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah." Razor groaned. He noticed the Shi'Ar, who strangely did not notice him. "Hey Frehley, who're the featherheads?"

"Shi'Ar." Ramada replied.

"Shi'Ar, huh?" Razor smirked. "So _that's_ what they look like. The Kid of Rock's heard of the Shi'Ar. He's heard about them from Wolverine." He explained to Ramada. "Wolverine's one of those X-Jerks." Ramada nodded.

"I have heard of the X-Men. Their exploits in space are legendary. They're allies of the Shi'Ar." Ramada sheathed her sword when she saw the Shi'Ar shove each other, apparently in the middle of an argument.

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

"You suck!"

"No, _you_ suck!"

"Perhaps we should ask the X-Men." Ramada blinked.

"The Kid of Rock sincerely doubts that they would help out." Razor sniffed. "They never did anything for Cleveland before, and I doubt they'd start caring about the city now."

"Razor, you called the X-Men a bunch of windbags on television right in their faces." Joan reminded.

"Well, they _are!_" Razor razzed. The three drunken Shi'Ar started throwing books at each other. The skinny alien grinned at Ramada and with superhuman speed, raced behind Ramada.

"What?" Ramada yelped.

"Hello gorgeous!" The super-fast Shi'Ar slurred, goosing Ramada. The warrior snarled and in one deft move, she locked the Shi'Ar's arm behind his back, and a sickening pop was heard from his shoulder.

"OWWWWWWW!" The other two Shi'Ar turned angrily at the sound of their friend in pain.

"Uh oh." Joan gulped.

**_Next: Frat Brawl!_**


	18. Close Encounters of the Stupid Kind!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, there was plenty to laugh about. Not a lot of heroes ever liked Razor much. Well, can you blame Ramada? She was groped by a drunken perverted Shi'Ar fraternity brother. He's lucky he just got his shoulder broken. She can do worse. A lot worse. Yeah, I think Amora and Spencer are way too different. I doubt it would last. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! Yeah, Ramada does not appreciate that kind of treatment, being a princess and all. Actually, I was thinking maybe Spence struggles between two women. A girl he crushes on in __Cincinnati__, and Amora. The fights would be hilarious. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, brawls are a lot of fun, especially involving drunken alien fraternity brothers. This has got to be the craziest storyline I ever came up with! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait to read new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you like my disclaimers. You can use them if you want. I read your new story "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless", and I loved it! Ah, the Japanese steakhouse. Never been to one. Thank you very much. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless" (You name all your stories after commercial lines?)!_

**Disclaimer: "One cool cat." - Ice-T as Det. Odafin "Fin" Tutuola, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit**

**_Chapter 18: Close Encounters of the Stupid Kind_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

The front of the bookstore exploded as the three Shi'Ar were sent flying into the street. People scattered.

"The end is here! The end is here!" A crazy guy screamed at the sight of the devastation. A businessman who was also running stopped and stared at the guy with an 'You-are-an-idiot' look on his face.

"Oh shut up!" The business man snapped, punching the crazy guy right in the mouth.

"Dude…not cool…" The skinny Shi'Ar moaned. He woke up his buddies. "Hey Powerhouse, Multitron, wake up guys! Dudes!" He started shaking them quickly, calling upon his super-speed.

"Okay, okay! I'm up, Zip!" The big Shi'Ar snapped, getting to his feet.

"About time, Powerhouse!" The skinny Shi'Ar snapped back. "Help me wake up Multitron!" The big Shi'Ar, Powerhouse, blinked, picked up the average-sized Shi'Ar, Multitron, and held him by his feet like a club. Powerhouse then started smashing Multitron into the ground repeatedly.

"OW! HEY! WHAT! POWERHOUSE! OW! MY FACE! STOP THAT! IT HURTS!" Multitron screamed.

"Oh." Powerhouse blinked. "Sorry." The big Shi'Ar dropped his smaller frat brother. Multitron glared at the big Shi'Ar and smacked him upside the head. "Hey!"

"You clod! You nearly broke my nose!" Multitron yelled.

"That's not all that'll be broken." The three Shi'Ar turned as they heard Ramada's voice. They saw Kid Razor and Ramada step out of the ruined front of the bookstore.

"What're you Shi'Ar losers doing here?" Razor growled. "Don't you overgrown birdbrains have a planet to conquer or something?"

"Hey!" Zip snapped. "I'll have you know Earthman, that we are future members of the Shi'Ar Imperial Guard!"

"That's right!" Multitron smirked. "We are Alva Beva, the elite fraternity."

"Alva Beva are a fraternity at the Shi'Ar Military Academy." Ramada explained to Razor. "They are an elite fraternity. Most of their members have special abilities. They're rowdy, arrogant, loud, and that fraternity has produced quite a few Imperial Guardsmen." Razor heard of the Imperial Guard from Wolverine, but never did meet any of them. They hung out in radically different circles.

"I…see…" Razor blinked. "Well, these guys are way off. Spring Break ended last week, and they're too far up north for Mardi Gras anyway."

"We came for a drunken bender." Powerhouse said with a big dumb grin. "OW!" He got smacked upside the head by Multitron. "Hey, that hurt!"

"Yeah, but that broad broke my shoulder!" Zip snapped, pointing at Ramada. "Good thing my super speed also allows me to heal fast." Ramada glared at the super-fast Shi'Ar.

"You should watch where you place your hands, Shi'Ar. Think yourself lucky I didn't cut it off!" The alien warrior princess replied. Zip snarled. Ramada smirked.

"Ramada, don't start a fight." Altoc said.

"Shut up, Disco Ball." Razor said to the floating orb.

"Let's get these punks and show them who they're messing with." Multitron smirked. He picked up a plank of wood. His eyes took on a white glow. The glow then covered his body. Multitron then appeared to split into three forms.

"Okay…" Razor assessed. "We got a quick-tongued speedster…The stereotypical super-strong super-stupid guy…and a guy who can multiply like a rabbit on Viagra."

"It looks like the battle will be great." Ramada grinned. Razor smirked.

"I give them…ten minutes against the Kid of Rock."

**Elsewhere in ****Cleveland**

A Cleveland squad car was parked in front of a donut shop. In said car were the finest of Cleveland's finest: Sergeants Harold Polanski and Amanda Briscoe. They were currently waiting for a call. Polanski was asleep in the driver's seat. Briscoe was reading a newspaper. She blinked when she got to a certain article.

"Hey Harold…" She nudged the snoozing ex-New York cop with her shoulder. "Wake up! Harold! Wake up!"

"Uhng…" Polanski muttered. "I don't wanna go to school…I went yesterday…" Briscoe blinked. Polanski yawned. "What?"

"Listen to this article: Police in Akron today caught a 30-year-old male, identity withheld, for dressing up as a big purple dinosaur and ransacking a local McDonalds." Briscoe laughed. "Isn't that funny?" Polanski shot her an 'I am going to kill you' look.

"You woke me up for _that?_ You woke me up so you can tell me about some Akron cops busting a moron in a Barney outfit who stole some Big Macs?" Polanski groaned. "This day _must_ be slow." The radio cackled.

"Attention all units! Attention all units!" The radio cackled. Polanski picked up the mouthpiece.

"This is Polanski." Polanski said into the mouthpiece.

"We got a disturbance in front of Joe's Books." The dispatcher told the two officers on the other end. "We got reports of Kid Razor and some Hispanic girl, possibly a mutant, brawling with what appears to a bunch of possibly mutant college students wearing college sweaters."

"We're on it." Polanski replied. "That Hispanic girl is no human." Polanski grumbled. "It's that alien princess punk Ramada. What trouble is she and that loudmouth egomaniac Kid Razor causing now?"

"Too bad that we can't call up some intergalactic police department and ask them for any recommendations, heh heh." Briscoe chuckled. Polanski groaned.

"I would not be surprised. God knows I've seen some crazier stuff since I got this job in this town." Polanski yawned as he started the car.

**_Next: The Frat Brawl Continues!_**


	19. More Frat Brawlin!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! It's been way too long, dude! I'm really glad you like this story so far! I guess Ramada is becoming one of your favorite characters. I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, those Shi'Ar guys are in big, big trouble. Guardian arriving to bring them home? I like that idea. I can imagine Razor shooting some trash talk in his direction. Oh yeah, purple dinosaurs are creepy mothers. I can't stand them. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I was inspired by "Revenge of the Nerds" a little bit for the Shi'Ar storyline, so I had them come from the Alva Beva fraternity. Oh yeah, Polanski and Briscoe are going to get involved in this insanity. As for Amora and Spencer, yes they are opposites…you never know. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I read the new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical" and I loved it! Gloating toasters, love with Elizabeth and Lucas **(Bobby: Oh yes, todd fan is now number one on my hit list. I'll punch her in the chest and pull her heart out!)**, and of course…Jean as a woman of ill repute. Three of the best chapters yet! Keep it up! Oh yes, big purple dinosaurs are evil. They are heartless little jerks. I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", "Tales From the Magic Roundabout", and "Slugs and Snails"!_

**Disclaimer: "And the toughest thing I could say is, 'For how long?'" - Damon Wayans, The Last Stand?**

**_Chapter 19: More Frat Brawlin'!_**

**Cleveland**

"Here we go again." Sgt. Harold Polanski muttered as he turned a corner, the car's siren screaming. Out of nowhere, Multitron, one of the three Shi'Ar frat brothers known as Alva Beva, flew out of nowhere, and landed on the squad car's hood, causing him to howl in pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Polanski and Briscoe screamed. The shock of the sudden appearance by the alien caused them to crash their car into a streetlight. Again.

"Not again!" Polanski growled.

"Look!" Briscoe pointed out her window. Polanski looked out where Briscoe pointed.

"I should've known." Polanski grumbled. The two officers saw Kid Razor and Ramada duke it out with the other two Alva Beva brothers. Ramada was trading blows with the super-strong Powerhouse, and Kid Razor was trying to take down the super-fast Zip.

"Shame I gotta bust up that pretty face." Powerhouse smirked as he threw a punch at Ramada. The alien warrior princess easily dodged it.

"You are telegraphing." Ramada laughed as she dodged out of the way of Powerhouse's superstrong attacks. "I have fought since the day I could walk! I am very well-practiced, and I could easily predict your moves. You do not have to fear busting up my pretty face." She picked up a car. "It's _your_ pretty face should be more concerned with!" She smashed the car right upside Powerhouse's head. Meanwhile, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor, Cleveland's own Rock 'n' Roll Warrior, was battling the super-fast Zip.

"Hold still, you super-fast Quicksilver wannabe!" Razor snapped. Zip sped around Razor in circles.

"Can't-catch-me-can't-catch-me-can't-catch-me!" Zip taunted. "You're-too-slow-human! You-can't-catch-me! What's-the-matter-slowpoke? Don't-they-have-speedsters-here?"

"Grrr…" Razor snarled. _This reminds me of the first time I met Sonic Blue. Only thing is, this punk has no sonic powers, and he's as fast as Spencer is now. When the Kid of Rock fought Sonic Blue, he used the first armor, which wasn't as fast as this one._ Razor remembered. The Ultimate Rockstar and the Iron Speedster's first meeting wasn't as friends.

Sonic Blue was robbing banks all over Cleveland at the time to test out his new armor. Their fight was a classic. Sonic Blue's sonic beams hurt Razor badly due to his sensitive hearing. However, Razor learned that Spencer wasn't robbing banks out of greed. Spencer needed the money to pay to treat his dying mother. Being far from heartless, Razor agreed to help Spencer out. Razor and his bandmates, the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers, played a show to raise money for Spencer's mom. She recovered fully. Spencer thanked Razor, and the two of them became friends. Spencer ended up nearly spending a few months in juvi, but the courts took mercy on him. They gave him back his armor, as long as he used it to do some good in his hometown. Thus, Cincinnati got its first superhero: Sonic Blue, the Iron Speedster.

"Come-on-punk!" Zap continued to taunt the living embodiment of Rock 'n' Roll. "Whadda-madda? Can't-hit-me! You-suck!" Razor smirked.

"The Kid of Rock has fought speedsters before, you super-fast birdbrain." Razor smirked. He remembered the tactic he used to stop Sonic Blue when he pulled the same trick. The Fearless One closed his eyes, and let his hearing take over. Razor's super-sensitive ears heard the swoosh of air created as Zip's body raced through the air. Razor held his guitar like a club, the body charging with the Power of Rock. He waited for Zip to get into position. "You may be faster than the Kid of Rock, you alien Sonic Blue-wannabe, but that don't make you better than the Kid of Rock! VAN…_HALEN…**HAMMER!**_" Razor took his guitar, and threw a sideways hammer blow. The guitar hit Zip right in the gut. The Power of Rock exploded, sending the screaming Shi'Ar speedster flying.

"AHHHHHHHHH! OW!" Zip screamed as he hit a streetlamp spine-first. "Ohhh…" Meanwhile, Ramada and Powerhouse were duking it out. Ramada had yet to unsheathe her sword.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…" Altoc moaned as the small disco ball-like orb looked around at the devastated street.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me…" Polanski moaned as he looked around at the completely messed-up street as he and Briscoe emerged from the car. Ramada ripped a streetlamp out of the ground.

"Hey Shi'Ar!" She yelled out. Powerhouse turned around. When he turned around, Ramada swung the lamp like a baseball bat. "As the humans say, I am about to hit a home run!" Ramada nailed the super-strong Shi'Ar right across the mouth with the streetlamp. Powerhouse was sent flying. He crashed into a donut shop.

"Oh Dear God…" Polanski whimpered. He dropped to his knees and looked like he was about to cry. Ramada took the streetlamp and ran inside the donut shop. The sounds of crashing and smashing and the clanging of metal hitting skin was heard. "WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Polanski started crying. "THAT WAS MY FAVORITE DONUT SHOP! YOU INTERGALACTIC PSYCHOS!"

"Oh, brother." Razor groaned when he over heard that. "Hey Polanski, look on the bright side! You needed to cut back on the donuts anyway! Too many gives you a Buddha belly, and you were perpetuating the whole cops-like-donuts stereotype anyway."

"SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU, KID RAZOR!" Polanski sobbed. Sgt. Amanda Briscoe ran to Polanski's side and started patting his shoulder.

"There, there Harry…there, there…" Briscoe soothed. "It'll be okay…it's just a donut shop…it's not the end of the world…there are other donut shops in Cleveland…we'll just go to one of them, okay?" Razor shook his head.

"Good God…" Razor groaned.

"Hey loudmouth!" Zip sped towards Razor. The Kid of Rock smirked. Just when Zip was about to lay out Razor with a high-speed punch, Kid Razor leapt over Zip with a split. Zip was about to zip back around and nail Razor from behind when…

**_BZZ-OW!_**

A yellow beam of energy hit the ground between Zip and Razor, causing the two to fly in different directions.

"What in the name of Bon Jovi?" Razor looked up and saw a green insect-like spaceship preparing to land. "Well, put me on top of a Brazilian supermodel and call the Kid of Rock Mick Jagger…"

"MORE ALIENS?" Polanski moaned, still sobbing.

**_Next: Somebody's Gonna Fry!_**


	20. Go Home Already!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, this may just turn out to be another problem. It just may be Gladiator. Yeah, I can imagine the lines between Kid Razor and the Gladiator. Will it be Gladiator? Who knows? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yep, more aliens have come. Yeah, poor Polanski is freaking out, man. I'm glad you like Ramada. She's a fun character. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, it is Guardian. I'll see if I can have Razor deck Guardian right in the mouth. I liked writing that part with Ramada nailing Powerhouse upside the head with the car. That was fun. I'll see about Amora. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! Glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, I kind of based Polanski on that hard-nosed policeman character in "The Mask". You're very welcome! I was glad to beta-read the last chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant". It was real good. I won't say anything about it, so nothing will get spoiled. All I'll is that it's good. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, the way things are going, Polanski is going to have a major breakdown. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ", and "Cry Havok"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Kid Razor is a lot like Mick Jagger in many ways. They're both born showmen, and they both love the ladies. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "X-Men: Evolution, the Musical", and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout!"_

**Disclaimer: "I am not tetchy!" - Kryten, Red Dwarf**

**_Chapter 20: Go Home Already!_**

**Cleveland, Ohio, two months after the death of Sonic Blue**

The sky was dark, the rain pounded the ground, and thunder boomed across the sky.. It also happened to be the dead of night. A red blur and a black blur raced toward each other and collided in the middle a street.

**_KABOOM!_**

Kid Razor flew across the night sky. His face didn't display its usual cocky smirk, nor did he radiate his usual arrogant aura. He was still distraught over the death of Sonic Blue, and his own in ability to stop it. Razor's mouth, known for being loud, proud, and unable to stop, was strangely silent. His sensitive hearing picked up the explosion. Razor quickly snapped to action and veered toward the direction of the noise. He flew to the source, and his jaw dropped. He saw Selene emerge from a pile of rubble. A beam of red sonic energy flew out of nowhere and smashed into the Black Queen hard.

"You denied me my vengeance, Selene!" Keith Michaels, aka the psychotic armored speedster called Redfoot. "You denied me a chance at peace! You denied me my JUSTICE!"

"You actually believe that I actually _care_ about your twisted need for personal satisfaction?" Selene laughed arrogantly. "You never were able to kill Sonic Blue yourself." Redfoot roared.

"Spencer Burton was destined to die by one man…ME!" Keith howled. He pitched a huge red ball of sonic power at Selene. Kid Razor watched the battle in disbelief. However, the irony was not lost on the Ultimate Rockstar. Here were Kid Razor and Sonic Blue's greatest enemies clashing.

"You know, maybe I should have you join your old friend!" Selene snarled, pitching a streetlamp like a boomerang at Redfoot. Keith jumped, his momentum allowing him to easily clear the lamp.

"You're dead!" Keith snarled, reaching for her neck. The two villains continued their brawl, much to Razor's shock.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio****, present day**

The green alien bug-like spacecraft landed down in the middle of the street.

"What's that? The Mutant Grasshopper from Planet X?" Razor quipped.

"HEY! I RESENT THAT REMARK!" A mutant in the confused and scared crowd yelled.

"Shut up Larry, the Overly-Touchy One!" Razor snapped. "Nobody asked your damn opinion!"

"That is a Shi'Ar craft, beloved." Ramada said. Razor sneered.

"It looks like a cicada on steroids." Razor snored.

"WHY GOD WHY?" Polanski sobbed. Briscoe started comforting him.

"There, there Harry…" Briscoe soothed. "It's okay…you're okay…"

"The donuts…" The veteran officer moaned. Kid Razor shook his head.

"Oh for the love of God and Rock 'n' Roll…" The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head in annoyance. A hatch on the side opened up, and steam poured out of the doorway. "Isn't that just a _little_ bit cliché? I mean, come _on!_ The Kid of Rock knows that fog can be used to make a great dramatic entrance, but this is completely, utterly ridiculous!" A large man in a black-and-red costume with a cape and a yellow triangle-like emblem on his chest stepped out. His face was purple and he had a Mohawk.

"Gladiator…" Ramada blinked.

"Who?" Razor turned to the alien warrior princess.

"He leads the Imperial Guard." Ramada explained. "The Imperial Guard are an elite police force of sorts. They maintain law and order in the Shi'Ar Empire. Their roster is composed of the mightiest of warriors from the many worlds within the Empire."

"So, who's the Mr. T wannabe over there?" Razor pointed at Gladiator.

"That is Gladiator. He leads the Imperial Guard." Ramada answered. "He's the mightiest member of the Guard. He possesses phenomenal strength and power."

"He looks like an intergalactic punk rocker-wannabe to the Kid of Rock." Razor snickered.

"I have come for the three rogue Alva Bevas." Gladiator said simply.

"Oh no…" Multitron moaned. "We're dead…"

"You boys are in serious trouble." Another voice said. Its source appeared behind Gladiator. It was a Shi'Ar, but his head looked a little different. In place of the typical feathers, he appeared to have spiky blue hair.

"Hey look, another one." Razor snickered. "They must be the Shi'Ar Empire's response to the Sex Pistols."

"Who?" Ramada blinked. Razor sighed.

"Never mind."

"Hello, Multitron." The blue-haired Shi'Ar smirked. Multitron groaned.

"Freezox." Multitron moaned.

"Hey Multiple Boy, who's the blue-haired punk rock wannabe?" Razor said loudly to Multitron.

"Freezox." The clone-making warrior groaned. "He's the leader of Alva Beva. He's our Rush Chairman."

"Multitron, go find your little buddies Zip and Powerhouse." Freezox ordered. "Now!" He snapped, firing a blast of blue energy from his hand.

"Yipe!" Multitron jumped out of the way as the beam hit the ground, freezing it. "Okay, okay! I'm going!"

"Hey Mr. T!" Razor snapped at Gladiator. The purple-skinned warrior turned his head towards the Kid of Rock. "The Kid of Rock says, tell those Alva Beva twits that if they ever decide to have a drunken bender again anytime soon, they should go crash somewhere else!"

"This is not your concern, Kid Razor." Gladiator said as Freezox carted away Powerhouse, Zip, and Multitron. "They're just merely drunken students."

"Are we in trouble?" Powerhouse asked.

"Shut up, Powerhouse. Oy." Zip grumbled.

"You bet your purple Mohawk it's the Kid of Rock's concern!" Razor snapped. "Those drunks caused nothing but trouble here! And how the hell do you know about the Kid of Rock?"

"What'd we do again?" Powerhouse asked from inside the ship.

"SHUT UP POWERHOUSE!"

**_Next: Here we go again!_**


	21. Here We Go Again!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked that bit with Larry the Superhero Heckler, as I like to call him, then check out the new chapter of "The Starr Chronicles". I was very glad to help you with that last chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant". If you ever need me to beta-read anything else, let me know. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant" and "Peace between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You know, maybe I can have a fight between Razor and Gladiator. I thought that the Redfoot/Selene brawl would be good. They are Kid Razor and Sonic Blue's greatest foes, and I can imagine Redfoot would want to get himself a piece of Selene if he found out she killed Sonic Blue. I just had an idea for a scene with Spencer. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! I'm glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

**Disclaimer: "Don't make me destroy you." - Darth Vader, Star Wars (Is Darth Vader one kickin' bad guy or what?)**

**_Chapter 21: Here We Go Again!_**

**Maple****High School, ****Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

"_Hmmm hmm hm, hm hm hmmm…_" Spencer Burton hummed happily as he sat at a table in the high school's outdoor area of the cafeteria. He rifled through a blue thermal plastic lunch container. He pulled out a ham sandwich with cheese, lettuce, and salami. He pulled out two small plastic bags, one containing a mixture of celery and carrot sticks, and the other containing tiny chocolate chip cookies. Finally, he pulled out a bottle of soda. Spencer himself was dressed in a black t-shirt with a blue lightning bolt on the chest and blue jeans. His long brown hair was in its trademark ponytail.

"Hey there, Spencer." A familiar voice said. Spencer looked up and smiled. He saw a pretty girl around his age standing there, dressed in a green sweater and blue jeans. Her eyes were green and her auburn hair was in a braid.

"Hey Hannah! What's up, girl?" Spencer grinned.

"Nothing much." Hannah Reynolds smiled sweetly. "Just wanted to see how Cincinnati's Greatest Hero is doing." She sat down across from him at that able, putting a brown paper bag on the table. Hannah Reynolds was an old friend of Spencer's. In fact, she had known him since they were in kindergarten. And the inventor had a huge crush on the auburn-haired girl.

"Hey Spencer, my man!" A pair of voices said. Spencer turned around and saw two guys suddenly grab him in a big hug. One was a big muscular guy with short spiky blond hair, dressed in a Maple High Buzzsaws t-shirt, an orange-and-white letterman jacket, and jeans. The other was a sleek-bodied African-American with his hair in a small nappy afro.

"Ack! Chunk! Randy!" Spencer exclaimed. Arthur "Chunk" Williams was the big blond kid. He was a football player. He was often tutored by Spencer. He wasn't stupid or anything, it was just he found academia boring. Spencer couldn't blame him. It was always for of a thrill for Chunk to turn quarterbacks into roadkill than sit in a classroom reading books. Randy Winston was the African-American kid. He and Spencer were teammates on the track team. In fact, Randy was Spencer's alternate, much like Spencer was Keith Michaels' alternate back in the day, before he became the crazed armored super-fast lunatic Redfoot. "How are you guys doing?"

"Coach says that my grades are getting better." Chunk grinned. "Thanks for the tutoring, Spence. That book-learning bores me, but you make it fun."

"I'm just glad I could help you out, Chunk." Spencer smiled.

"Hey Spence, you are one sly dog. You got a hot blonde and you never told us?"

"Blonde?" Spencer blinked at the runner.

"What blonde, Spencer?" Hannah asked. Spencer blinked. He searched through his memory, and he came to one conclusion.

_Aw hell naw…_ Spencer thought.

"She's been looking around for you all day."

"Ah, we meet again, Spencer Allen Burton." Spencer and the gang turned and saw what appeared to be a teenager with a curvy figure, long blonde hair, blue eyes, and dressed in a tight green-and-yellow tank top and tight green jeans with a yellow studded belt. Even though she looked different, Spencer easily recognized her.

"Aw _hell_ naw…" Spencer moaned.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"The X-Men have had numerous adventures out in space. I heard of them from you." Gladiator told Razor. "That is how I have heard of you. Your arrogance is also legendary. I have heard that the other 'heroes' of the Earth do not like you much."

"They're just jealous of the Kid of Rock because the Kid of Rock is like Muhammad Ali: He _is_ the greatest! Whoo!" Razor whooped. Ramada sighed happily.

"Indeed, beloved. You are the greatest."

"Easy, Ramada." Razor smirked. "I know you excite easily, but you really need to calm down, Spacegal."

"Gladiator, we have them." Freezox told the powerhouse alien.

"Wait a minute, that's it? You're just going to bring them home to their mommies?" Razor grumbled.

"No." Freezox replied. "They'll get reprimanded for their actions."

"Although I doubt it's very severe." Gladiator grumbled under his breath, eyeing Freezox. "After all, Earth is not a part of the Shi'Ar Empire." Gladiator didn't seem to know or remember that Kid Razor's ears were very sensitive, granting him superhuman hearing. Razor's hearing picked up that remark clear as a bell.

"Hey Mohawk!" Razor snapped. "I heard that! The Three Stooges caused a lot of problems while they were here! Look what they did to that bookstore!"

"And the speedy one placed his hands on me in a manner that only my future husband may handle me." Ramada added, pointing at Razor with his thumb.

"Earth is a backwater planet!" Zip yelled out for the ship.

"Say that again!" Kid Razor roared as he tried to run toward the ship, only to be held back by Gladiator. It wasn't that the Mohawk-wearing warrior did not want Kid Razor to beat the snot of the three Alva Bevas. He and Ramada evidently did plenty of that. He didn't want Razor to accidentally damage the ship. "Say that again, punk!" Zip got up from his seat, fists raised, ready to fight."

"Come on! You so bad! Let's do this!" Zip yelled. He was being held back by Freezox.

"Knock it off, you idiot!" Freezox snapped. "You're already in it deep enough!"

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" Zip yelled. "I'll kick your ass, you loudmouth!"

"Bring it on!" Razor roared, struggling against Gladiator, who had the living avatar of rock music by one arm. "Come on, you Quicksilver wannabe! Let's see what you got! You think you can mess stuff up in my town, boy? Come on! Let me go, you oversized purple Mr. T wannabe!" Kid Razor charged up his free fist with the Power of Rock. "_HEAVY **METAL PUNCH!**_" The Ultimate Rockstar lashed out with the fist, nailing Gladiator right in the nose. Since the attack caught Gladiator by surprise, the purple warrior was unprepared to take the attack, and he was sent flying across the street until he hit a lamppost back-first.

"Oh boy! I _love_ a good fight!" Ramada cheered.

"Ugh…" Gladiator held his head as he got to his feet. "You wish to fight?" Razor growled.

"You give those clowns what they deserve!" Razor yelled at Gladiator. "The Kid of Rock's world may not be a part of your Shi'Ar empire, but let the Kid of Rock tell you something. Those punks sauntered into town, drunk as skunks, and they tried to cause disaster around here! They spooked the living hell out of a bunch of people, and trashed a bookstore!"

"We did?" Powerhouse asked.

"Shut up Powerhouse!" Zip and Multitron snapped, smacking the super-strong and super-tough Shi'Ar upside the head.

"You guys are mean…" Powerhouse moaned.

"You think the human loudmouth with the razor blade tights can take Gladiator?" Multitron asked Freezox. The ice-making Shi'Ar Rush Chairman shrugged.

"I do not know. I have not heard of this human. But Gladiator is immensely powerful. I highly doubt he'll stand against him." Freezox answered. A great big BOOM was heard as Razor smashed Gladiator upside the head with his magical guitar.

**_Next: A Gladiator Vs. A Rockstar!_**


	22. A Gladiator vs A Rockstar

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You **bet** that this fight will be interesting! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, Gladiator vs. Kid Razor. The ultimate alien warrior versus the Ultimate Rockstar. This will be a fun fight. Ramada agreed with Razor because she's trying to win him over. Poor old Spencer, two women are after him. Amora's assuming the form of a teenager because she thinks that Spencer may be intimidated by her in her true state, and h may b more comfortable if she was closer to his own age. At least, in looks. Basically, I only want Amora to show her true self in combat. Her teen form could be an alter ego. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, mattb! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, Kid Razor and Gladiator are going to fight! __Cleveland__'s survived worse. If __Cleveland__ can survive nearly being destroyed with the rest of the world by Galactus and the like.__ Glad to help you beta-read your stuff! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants? Priceless"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Slugs and Snails", and I loved it! Drinking is funny in your fics. Poor Piotr. I want him to smash Pietro's legs! Do it! Have him drop a piano on them! And Jamie's hilarious! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for more new chapters of "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout" and "Slugs and Snails"!_

_To Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor vs. Gladiator! It's going to rock! Glad you liked the Amora appearance! I was looking for a way to fit her in! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you! _

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok" and I loved them! Rebellious muses, body-switching, and insanity, oh my! Gladiator is kind of stupid. He'll get knocked around. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read new chapters of "Evolution XMJ" and "Cry Havok"!_

**Disclaimer: "I'm just lookin' for some tush." - Larry The Cable Guy, Blue Collar TV**

**_Chapter 22: A Gladiator vs. A Rockstar_**

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"OOF!" The purple-skinned warrior known as Gladiator moaned as he hit a streetlamp spine-first. The Fearless Kid Razor smirked at him, tapping his guitar against his palm like it was a police officer's baton.

"Come _on_, Gladiator!" Razor smirked. "You really believe that the Kid of Rock would be intimidated by the likes of _you?_ Please! The Kid of Rock fought two brain-dead Skrulls **(1)**! If yours truly could take down those green-skinned halfway brain-dead Hulk wannabes, then what makes you believe you can beat the Kid of Rock?" Gladiator sneered at the Ultimate Rockstar. The Mohawk-wearing warrior ripped out the lamppost that he was smashed into and swung it right at Razor's noggin. Meanwhile, Ramada and Altoc were watching the battle.

"Oh dear, this confrontation has become most violent." Altoc sighed. The small disco ball-like orb turned to Ramada. "Are you _sure_ you desire…_him_…as your mate?" Ramada shrugged with a smile.

"Of course. He is fearless and cocky, yet he has a strong heart and a strong connection to his roots. Not to mention I'm extremely attracted to his looks." Ramada smirked.

"They're tearing the damn town apaaaaart!" Polanski sobbed into Briscoe's arm as the sounds of Kid Razor and Gladiator smashing each other was heard in the background. "Whyyyy? Why God why? Why do they do this all the time? Why why why?"

"I think you need a vacation." The blond officer Briscoe sighed at the sobbing Polanski.

"You suck!" The blue-haired Larry the Heckler laughed, pointing at Briscoe and Polanski.

"Shut up, Larry! No one likes you!" Briscoe snapped. "You want to get arrested and get your ugly-ass car towed?" Razor managed to overhear that.

_Geez__ and the Kid of Rock thought that Meggan was weird. Who names their damn television? Cars, okay. Pets, okay. Stuffed animals, okay. Musical instruments, okay. But who names their damn television? And **Ellie**, no less **(2)**. Sheesh!_ Razor mentally grumbled and groused as he nailed Gladiator with a Heavy Metal Punch. The powerhouse Gladiator staggered under the mystically-charged punch.

"Huh." The purple-skinned Mohawk-wearing alien warrior smirked. "I must admit, Kid Razor. Your mouth is large, and your arrogance and ego are great, but you do…as the Earthmen say, you put your money where your mouth is."

"And the Kid of Rock says, he's gona put more than money in yours!" Razor threw another punch, put Gladiator caught it. He twisted Razor's arm back, making the super-rocker yell. Gladiator then released the blond wonder and nailed Razor in the mouth with a hard punch. Gladiator's punches were known to shatter asteroids, and the guy even was powerful enough to throw the Juggernaut around like a ragdoll **(3)**. "YAAAAAAAAAAH!" Razor flew headfirst into a building at amazing speed. His physical invulnerability was the only thing that stopped him from losing his jaw and getting crushed. Unfortunately, Razor's jaw would be sore for a while after this, but after all his time adventuring, Razor developed a very strong threshold for pain, and he gained a talent for recovering from super-strong punches quickly. The three Shi'Ar frat brothers were watching the battle, their jaws on the ground, and their eyes the size of dinner plates. Their Rush Chairman, Freezox, watched with a neutral expression.

"Wow!" Zip whooped. "This battle rocks! Get that loudmouth, Gladiator!"

"Yeah!" Powerhouse grinned widely. "Shut his big mouth up!"

"Man, this is better than Mojo's battles!" Multitron snickered. Freezox glared at the three young Shi'Ar warriors.

"I wouldn't be cheering for Gladiator if I were you." The blue-haired ice-making Shi'Ar scowled. "Either way, if he wins or loses, you three will be answering to him personally." The three Shi'Ar gulped. Through a porthole, one could see Razor smash into Gladiator with a Bon Jovi Booster.

"Oh, _man!_" The three moaned.

"AWWWWW!" Gladiator moaned.

"Didn't expect the Kid of Rock to recover from that, huh?" A hovering Razor smirked as he nailed Gladiator with a Heavy Metal Punch. "Let's see _you_ recover from _this!_" Razor grabbed his guitar. "VAN HALEN HAMMER!" Razor made an underhanded swing, and it smashed Gladiator right in the jaw. The Imperial Guard leader was sent sprawling and he fell on the ground. Razor put his guitar back over his shoulder **(4)**. Gladiator panted.

"Enough." Gladiator said, getting to his feet. "This battle was foolish. There was no reason for it."

"The Kid of Rock just wants a promise that you'll give those clowns what they deserve." Razor said simply. "Earth's not a part of the Shi'Ar Empire, but that don't mean that you should give them a slap on the wrist. They raised quite a lot of hell here."

"There is no need for your concern, Kid Razor." Gladiator nodded. "I give my word as the leader of the Imperial Guard and protector of the Shi'Ar throne, those three will get a punishment that will fit their crime."

"Could…they be forced to wear pink frilly socks and do a Riverdance?" Razor smirked. Gladiator blinked at that statement. After a moment, the Mohawk-wearing warrior smirked.

"I'll see." Gladiator held out his hand. Razor shook it after a moment.

"Yeah, yeah." Razor smirked. "Ever thought about getting a stylist to look at that Mohawk?"

"NO!" Gladiator howled, covering his Mohawk with his arms. "I _like_ my Mohawk!"

**(1) - Kid Razor and Sonic Blue fought the Kl'rt the Super-Skrull and Paibok the Power-Skrull in a brutal tag team ladder match in "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**(2) - In "Uncanny Excalibur", Meggan Braddock revealed that she named her beloved television set "Ellie" while Sonic Blue was trying to fix it.**

**(3) - Gladiator did this to the Juggernaut in an episode of the 1990s X-Men animated series. I always found a little humor in that moment. I thought it'd be a fun little reference.**

**(4) - Kid Razor's body must remain in contact with his guitar at all times in order to maintain his Razor form. The connection does work through clothes and through the strap of the guitar, so Razor can wear his guitar over his shoulder and across his back if he needs his hands free.**

**_Next: More insanity from Kid Razor's corner of the URM-Marvel Universe!_**


	23. Another Appearance!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Fight scenes aren't my strongest suit, but I am glad you liked it in the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Razor has a very strange sense of humor. I plan to have him team-up with the XSE (Storm, Bishop, Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Sage, __Archangel__, Skin, Husk, and Jubilee), and Razor will start cracking jokes about a certain incident in "Uncanny XSE". Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Man is Australian for Mutant" and "Peace between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I watch it on Jetix, too. It's fun! The frat boys will probably be forced to wear dresses around the Shi'Ar __Military__Academy__ campus for a while. Yeah, muses can be quite insane. I haven't been able to keep mine tied down lately, heh heh. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Well, fight scenes aren't my strongest point. Glad to put in the Excalibur references. Razor is a member after all. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! The Van Halen Hammer is one of Razor's most well-known moves. It can be done as an over-handed or under-handed blow, but Razor most often does it as an overhead. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I've worked in the private sector. They expect results." - Dan Ackroyd as Dr. Ray Stantz, Ghostbusters**

**_Chapter 23: Another Appearance!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Ahhh…" Kid Razor said to himself as he laid on the couch in the green room. Cleveland's Favorite Son was making another appearance on the Raymond Zed show. Razor was on of the most popular guests on the show, and Zed was one of Razor's favorite people.

"Mr. Razor?" An assistant peeked in. She was pretty and female, Razor's favorite kind of assistant.

"What's rockin', babe?" Razor smirked. "You lonely?" The assistant chuckled.

"I have a boyfriend."

"Lucky him." Razor snickered.

"You're up in five minutes." The assistant said. Razor nodded.

"No problem. Hope Zeddy's ready for me. I got opinions, and the Kid of Rock desperately needs to spit them out." Razor remarked. The assistant nodded and closed the door. "Let's see, which impersonation should the Kid of Rock do first: The 'Drunken Thor' or the 'Iron Man as a hippie'?" Razor mulled over that little agonizing choice for the five minutes until his beloved showtime. "Ah, screw it! The Kid of Rock will just do his own thing!" Five minutes later, the assistant summoned him. "Alright!"

**The set**

Raymond Zed sat at his desk, now clad in a loud gold suit.

"Alright, folks!" Zed whooped to the crowd. "Now my next guest…well, he needs no introduction. He's made quite a few appearances on the show, and every one is more fun than the last. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you, Cleveland's Favorite Son, the Ultimate Rockstar, the Fearless One, Kid Razor!" He started clapping, and the band started playing. The audience cheered and clapped as Razor flipped and cartwheeled onto the stage. He hi-fived some audience members, and strutted to the comfy seat.

"Zed, the Kid of Rock has asked you to send him one of these seats." Razor fake-scolded Zed. "Why do you think he keeps appearing on this show?" The audience laughed.

"Aw Razor, you'll never change." Zed chuckled, looking at his cards.

"Damn straight." Razor smirked.

"Anyway, here's something I _must_ address." Zed remembered. "On your last appearance, we talked about the new West Coast Avengers. You said in your own words: "Tigra shags like a minx"."

"The gal is insatiable." Razor snickered. "But then again, which of the super-chicks up in New York aren't?"

"Anyway…" Zed continued. "We have heard that Tigra is none too happy with you saying that."

"Understandable." Razor nodded. "She's not the type to kiss and tell."

**West Coast Avengers HQ, ****Malibu, ****California**

"I can hardly believe that the Raymond Zed show went national." Namorita blinked. The Atlantean was sitting on the couch of the living room, watching the show. With her was the West Coast Avengers' leader: Hawkeye, the Avenging Archer. "And I also can't believe that Razor is running his mouth about that."

"You know Kid Razor." Hawkeye laughed. "Put a camera in front of that loudmouth's face and he'll yak all night."

"Something tells me that Tigra is going to jump the first flight to Cleveland and hunt Razor down after this interview." Namorita grunted. "Do you think Razor will ever learn to keep his opinions to himself?"

"Asking Kid Razor to keep his opinions to himself is like asking the sun not to rise." Hawkeye answered simply. "Besides, Kid Razor wouldn't quite be Kid Razor without his mouth, you know? Like you wouldn't quite be Namorita without the pointy ears, water-breathing, and winged ankles." Nita looked at her ankles.

"I thought my ankle wings were kind of cute." Nita said. "But I do see your point."

"Didn't say anything was wrong with 'em." Hawkeye groaned. "Personally, I think Razor's an alright guy. Kid's got a mouth and an ego, and sometimes he has a temper, but he always comes through when you need him."

**The television studio, Cleveland**

"I see." Zed nodded.

"The girl's insatiable. What can I say?" Razor snickered. "But then, going to New York and working with those other super-teams or them coming over here is always a problem. I can tell. It takes all the willpower those super-babes can muster to avoid tearing off their uniforms."

"You don't fear any heroes responding to your remarks, huh?" Zed smirked. Razor smirked back.

"You think?" Razor laughed. "All those other heroes are jealous of me because the Kid of Rock is so awesome." The audience chuckled.

"Anyway Razor, what has been going on with you lately?"

"Nothing much, just being me." Razor chuckled. "Just keeping this town from bad guys and boy bands. God, the Kid of Rock hates boy bands."

"Yes, like that one time you punched out Nick Carter." Zed nodded.

"He asked for it." Razor said in his own defense.

**Xavier Institute, ****Westchester, ****New York**

"As if he was the _first_ costumed adventurer to punch out Nick Carter." Sage rolled her eyes. She was in the monitor room, watching over the activity in the Mansion. One of them happened to be on the Raymond Zed show. She narrowed her eyes at Razor. "What a loudmouth."

**The television studio, Cleveland**

"You really have no shame, Razor." Zed laughed.

"What can the Kid of Rock say, Ray? Here in Cleveland, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor is the king, baby!" Razor whooped, making the audience cheer. Razor got up and took a bow. "Thank you, thank you."

"Well Razor, any projects?" Zed replied. "You know, back in the day, you were a member of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. Later on, they gained superpowers of their own…"

_The only **good** thing Selene ever did for me._ Razor remembered. _Boy, **that** plan blew up in her face._

"After a while together, you and the rest of the Cavaliers separated. What about that? Was there any bad blood?" Zed asked.

"Well, no. That's the thing everyone assumes. You see, the Kid of Rock and the rest of the Cavaliers were sick and tired of everyone assuming that the other Cavaliers were the Kid of Rock's back-up band. So we thought it would be best if we went our separate ways and established ourselves separately. So the Kid of Rock stayed here and they went over to Miami." Razor remembered. "The parting was very amicable. The Kid of Rock does miss those guys sometimes, and he would love to re-team with them again."

**_Next: Reunion Tour!_**


	24. Reunion Tour!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Of **course** Kid Razor is going to speak his mind. He's done it his whole career! Razor didn't insult Tigra. He was egging her on based on her reaction in R-Man's "Uncanny West Coast Avengers". I think Razor could do his own talk show. It'd have more fights and hot women than Springer! Well, I realized that the other Cavaliers had not even been mentioned here, and they're a big part of Razor's life, so I figured why not have the six kids get back together one last time? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah. Himself is the only person Razor knows how to be. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, Razor's back on TV, and you can bet he angered **somebody** with his mouth. Who said they were the **only** heroes watching? Did Sage deck Nick Carter? I think she would. Decking Nick Carter rocks. I'll see if I can include some Amora. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I believe that smacking Nick Carter is a good thing. Boy Bands suck, and Razor is all about rock. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant", and "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the heroes are not going to be too happy with Razor's remarks. And you can bet they will really **hate** what Razor will do in R-Man's "Uncanny Four". Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Based on Tigra's reaction in R-Man's "Uncanny West Coast Avengers", you can **bet** she is one unhappy cat-lady **(Tigra: I'll kill that perverted jerk if I ever lay eyes on him again!)**! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

**Disclaimer: "To hell with our orders." - Brent Spiner as Lt. Comm. Data, Star Trek: First Contact**

**_Chapter 24: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour!_**

**Miami, ****Florida**

The front of a bank suddenly exploded, putting a damper on a beautiful day in Miami. A man emerged from the front, carrying a couple bags of money. He was dressed in a sleeveless blue-and-red military-style uniform with some gold trim. His long blond hair and beard was wild, and his eyes were covered by black shades. His arms looked like they were made of organic steel like the mutants Iron Maiden and the Russian X-Man Colossus.

"Ha ha!" The man laughed. "I'd like to see somebody try to take down Captain Cyborg!" **(A/N: I know! I know he sucks! Don't flame me about him! Besides, he'll get his butt kicked! Geez!)** The crazed cyborg continued laughing until he heard a FWOOSH. "YIPES!" He dodged a jet of flame. "What the-?" He turned and saw a teenage boy standing on top of a car. His blond hair was long and his blue eyes were covered by red shades. He was dressed in a red costume with black trim and red boots **(A/N: Think Hal ****Jordan****'s new Green Lantern costume, only replace the green with red)**. His forearms were covered by red studded forearm bands, and he had on black biker gloves. His chest showed an emblem of a fiery fist. The boy smirked.

"Captain Cyborg. As idiotic as ever."

"Flamefist." Captain Cyborg snarled. Flamefist was actually a Cleveland native named Ronnie "Rip" Jones. Rip led the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers, a teenage rock band/superhero team. The Cavaliers originally included Kid Razor in their ranks, but they split amicably to establish their own identities. Rip was the lead singer and rhythm guitarist for the Cavaliers. He had superhuman strength and power over fire.

"The Ripster is here, baby! Aow!" Rip whooped.

"Eep!" Captain Cyborg dodged several blasts of lightning. A teenage girl hovered down, hands crackling with golden electrical power. She had long black hair with yellow streaks in it and brown eyes. She was dressed in a yellow costume with black trim that left her arms and shoulders bare. The boots were black and she had black biker gloves and yellow studded forearm bands. On her chest was an emblem of a yellow lightning bolt with white bird-like wings.

"Thanks for the assist, babe." Rip smiled at the girl. The girl smiled back.

"No problem, hon." The girl smiled. She was born Gwendolyn Ann Anderson (She preferred being called Wendy), but the super-world knew her as Thunderwing. Wendy had the power to fly and generate electrical power. Wendy played lead guitar for the Cavaliers. She and Rip were also a couple. "You don't think we need the others, do you?"

"You brought them?" Rip asked. Wendy shrugged.

"Why not?" Wendy laughed. Captain Cyborg snarled.

"Hey kiddies!" The cyborg laughed. A pair of laser cannons suddenly sprouted out of his shoulder. "Eat _this!_" He fired a pair of blue laser beams from the cannons.

"Wendy, get down!" Rip yelled. He and Wendy ducked the lasers. They flew above them, only to hit the hands of another kid. This kid was clad in a green-and-black costume with green boots, a green leather jacket with black sleeves, and black biker gloves. His costume had a chest emblem of a brown mesa with a golden infinity symbol on it. He had hazel eyes, and long auburn hair in a ponytail. He angled his hands so the beams were reflected upwards. He was Tommy Baines, the Cavaliers' drummer. He was also known as Steelquake because he had the ability to control earth and he was invulnerable.

"Oh, brother!" Tommy laughed. "That dummy thinks he can take on the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers? _Please!_"

"Quit your yakking, Tommy!" Wendy groused.

"Are you still angry with me because I accidentally saw you changing into your swimsuit last week? Oh God…" Tommy groaned.

"_WHAT?_" Rip yelled angrily.

"You and your brother are both perverts!" Wendy snapped.

"I am going to kill Tommy…" Rip muttered. They didn't notice Captain Cyborg getting attacked.

"What the-!" The crazed cyborg yelled as he saw a figure dive-bombing towards him. A figure covered in a rainbow-colored aura wielding a guitar.

"VAN _HALEN **HAMMER!**_" The figure roared. The three Cavaliers turned around and saw Kid Razor nail Captain Cyborg with his mystical guitar.

"Kid Razor!" The three Cavaliers yelled happily.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Captain Cyborg flew headfirst into a street pole with a CLANG! "OW!" He got knocked silly as he hit the ground.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Kid Razor hovered down to the ground. The Fearless One shook his head in a disappointed manner at his three former teammates. "The Kid of Rock is sorely disappointed in you. He was hoping you guys would find better villains than…that." Razor pointed at the downed Captain Cyborg.

"RAZOR!" The three Cavaliers ran towards Razor and gave him a big hug.

"Well, the Kid of Rock is glad to see you all again." Razor chuckled. He was very happy to see his old friends again.

"What the heck are you doing here in Miami?" Wendy wondered.

"Well, the Kid of Rock was doing an interview, and I was asked about you. I started thinking about you guys and the Kid of Rock thought he'd come down here and visit." Razor shrugged.

**_Next: Catching up!_**


	25. Reunion Tour Part 2: Catching Up!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the last chapter of "X-Men is Australian for Mutant", and I loved it! Can't wait to read the conclusion! You rock! I'm glad you like the Cavaliers. They're a fun bunch. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I agree. The reunion was a long time coming. Razor and the rest of the Cavaliers split on amicable terms. They're among the few friends Razor has in the superhuman community. It's obvious why they came to __Miami__. Sun, sand, and surf. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad to hear from you again! Yeah, I know. Captain Cyborg is goofy. He's more of a one-shot villain, really. Every great comic book character has at least one. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Sorry about the chapter length. Sometimes I have to cut short chapters to work on other stories. Captain Cyborg was a one-shot villain. He's intended to be lame. I'll send you a bio of the Cavaliers. I'll see if I can fit in some more Amora and Sonic Blue. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to hear more from you!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Well, they are teenage superheroes. What do you expect? Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "We are the D-D-D-Dudley Boyz!" - Bubba Ray Dudley**

**_Chapter 25: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 2: Catching Up!_**

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

Spencer Allen Burton, the armored superhero known as Sonic Blue, was walking down a pathway in a park in his native Cincinnati. The young hero was doing some thinking.

_Man, this is weird._ The young inventor thought. _That encounter with Amora has gotten me thinking. Why me? Why is she so interested in me? I'm just a regular kid. Okay, a regular kid with a genius IQ, but still a kid._ He sat on a bench. _I know the other heroes. I know Thor. I know about the stuff Amora's done in the past. For a long time, all she's ever cared about was obtaining power. Now she acts like **this?** I doesn't add up._ H touched his lips. _And that kiss **(1)**. That kiss Amora gave me. I've been feeling very strange ever since she gave me that kiss. Almost like…I've been growing…attracted to her._ The young inventor's blue eyes widened. _Of course! According to Thor, Amora can make a man love her with a kiss! That Asgardian witch! What is she up to? And why does she need me? Why is she trying to get me to love her? Is she really trying to take over Asgard?_

**A luxury suite apartment in ****Miami, ****Florida**** (aka Rock 'n' Roll Cavalier HQ)**

The luxury apartment was the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers' headquarters, which was given to them by the city of Miami. The teenage super-rockers had made the apartment feel like home: Rock posters on the walls, a couple arcade and pinball machines, a pool table, a huge entertainment system, and even a couple Cleveland Indians pennants on a wall.

A sleek-bodied teenage boy sat on a large couch, watching a big screen TV. He had short black hair and hazel eyes. He was dressed in a pair of blue jeans with a black studded belt, black sneakers, and a black t-shirt with a silver lightning bolt on it. He had several bracelets around on wrist, and a green wristband around his other wrist.

"Ah, there's nothing on." The boy grumbled. His name was Alex Baines. He was codenamed Windspeed thanks to his mystically-granted powers of superhuman speed and aerokinesis (The ability to control air and wind). He also played bass for the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. He got up and zipped into another room. He knocked on the door. "Yo, Fingers!"

"What?" A voice came from inside the room.

"Let's go to the arcade, man. I'm bored." Alex said.

"Alright. Just let me send this one last e-mail." The voice said at the other end.

"Hurry up, Fingers!" Alex snapped.

"Alright, alright! Hang on!" The voice snapped. A teenage boy walked out with semi-long blue hair and blue eyes. He was dressed in a blue t-shirt with a blue plaid shirt over it, and blue jeans. The blue-haired boy was named Daniel Carrington. He was nicknamed 'Fingers' thanks to his talents with his hands. He played keyboards for the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. He was also the teenage superhero known as Psywave thanks to his telepathic abilities and ability to control water. "Geez, give a guy a minute."

"I'm bored, man!" Alex exclaimed in his own defense. "And have you seen the other guys?"

"Rip, Wendy, and Tommy went out to deal with Captain Cyborg again." Fingers answered. Alex groaned.

"_That_ lamebrain?" Alex groaned. "Doesn't that idiot _ever_ learn?" A ringing was heard. Alex quickly whipped out his cell phone. It was one of those cell phones that had a walkie-talkie feature.

"Mine." Fingers pulled out his own cell phone. "Hello…Hey Rip…Razor's here?" Fingers' eyes widened. "Alex! Razor's here! Get into costume!"

**A café in Miami**

"Man, Razor. It has been way too long." Rip smiled. He, Wendy, Tommy, and Razor were all sitting at a table in costume. "You never call or write anymore."

"Sorry." Razor smirked. "You know the Kid of Rock. He's always got a lot on his plate: Bad guys to beat up, hot super-chicks to nail, stages to rock."

"You are still a nut, Razor." Wendy smirked. A zipping sound was heard. Alex zipped up to the group, Fingers hanging on to him. Alex was in his Windspeed costume: A black costume with black boots, black gloves, and a black leather jacket with silver sleeves and gold lightning bolt zig-zag racing stripes on the sleeves. His costume had a chest emblem of a light blue tornado with a yellow lightning bolt slashing across it. Fingers' costume was a sleeveless blue costume with blue boots, black gloves, and blue studded forearm bands. His chest emblem was an eye over a wave.

"Razor!" Fingers and Alex exclaimed. They ran up to Razor and hugged the Ultimate Rockstar.

"Ahh, get off me, you morons!" Razor snapped playfully, waving his old friends and bandmates off.

"Admit it, you missed us." Tommy joked.

"No duh. That's why I'm here." Razor snickered. "So, how's things here in sunny Miami?"

"Awesome!" Rip grinned. "Nothing here but sun, sand, and surf."

"And babes galore! Beach bunnies everywhere!" Tommy whooped. He and Alex high-fived.

"They still get slapped around a lot?" Razor asked Rip, Wendy, and Fingers. The three musicians just nodded. "The Kid of Rock thought so. Do they still brawl?" The three super-powered teenage musicians nodded again. "The Kid of Rock thought so. They didn't earn the nickname 'The Brawling Baines Brothers' for nothing."

"Their last fight caused the destruction of several stores in the local mall." Wendy sighed.

"The crazy part is that they didn't use their powers." Rip sighed.

"Hey! It wasn't our fault!" Tommy snapped. "Airhead here didn't pay for something!" Tommy pointed at his older brother Alex.

"Hey, I intended to pay for that CD! I put it in my pocket, and I ended up forgetting it was there, you pebble-brain!" Alex snapped back. "I forgot because I had to come after you when you started making a scene!"

"Hey, the employee called Iron Maiden a bunch of old windbags!" Tommy argued. "_Nobody_ talks trash about Iron Maiden in front of Thomas Baines!"

"You didn't need to punch him out!" Alex argued back.

"He asked for it!"

"It was a dumb thing to do, you twit!"

"Here they go again…" Fingers sighed.

"You saying I'm stupid?" Tommy got into Alex's face.

"What do you think?" Alex got into Tommy's face.

"Jerk!" Tommy shoved Alex.

"Moron!" Alex shoved Tommy.

"Nitwit!"

"Idiot!"

"Mama's boy!"

"That's it!" Alex punched Tommy. Tommy punched him back, and they started brawling again.

"Knock it off, you twits!" Wendy snapped. Meanwhile, the Cavaliers didn't notice a trenchcoat-and-hat-wearing figure staring at them. He was staring at one of the young six figures in particular.

_You humiliated m in Mojoworld, Kid Razor._ The figure mentally snarled. _But you failed to finish me off, giving me a chance to take my revenge._ The figure revealed a green chin that looked like a cliff face.

**(1) - Amora kissed Sonic Blue in "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**_Next: One Last Brawl!_**


	26. Reunion Tour Part 3: One Last Brawl!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! You should be reviewing more often, but I understand that you're busy! My stuff keeps me busy as well! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yup, that's Razor's life in a nutshell. That's what he does. He rocks the stage, bats up the bad guys, and gets the girls! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, a wise decision. Never insult Iron Maiden in front of a pair of metalhead brothers. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the Super-Skrull is back, and things will get ugly. I know Amora did that to Sonic Blue accidentally, but **he** doesn't know that. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Gifts and Curses", and I loved it! Poor ol' Bobby. At last Piotr forgave him, and have Todd beat up Pietro for interrupting his attempt at proposal! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Random Tales of the Magic Roundabout", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

**Disclaimer: "I have been having a very bad day!" - Eddie Murphy, Another 48 Hours**

**_Chapter 26: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 3: One Last Brawl!_**

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

Spencer Allen Burton, dressed in his armor of Sonic Blue, raced up and down the streets of his hometown of Cincinnati, Ohio. He was doing a standard patrol, checking the city for criminals. So far, just a couple robberies. Real kid's stuff compared to the stuff Spencer regularly dealt with. For example, last time he was in England with his Excalibur teammates, he helped take down a crazed Captain Britain **(1)**.

_Man, my life can't get any more interesting._ Spencer sighed to himself. _I was born a genius, on of my old track teammates wants to kill me, and I'm a pawn to some immortal Asgardian. Next time I see her, I'm going to make sure she tells me the truth about what she's up to._

**Rock 'n' Roll Cavalier HQ, ****Miami, ****Florida**

Kid Razor and the rest of his fellow Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers walked into the apartment the teenage super-musicians lived in and used as their HQ.

"The Kid of Rock…" Razor started to proclaim as he looked the Cavaliers' apartment over. "…is extremely impressed. You Cavaliers managed to do well here."

"Yeah." Wendy smiled. "We like the place."

"Roomy as any Hilton suite, only without any blonde rich dumb bar wenches puking everywhere!" Tommy laughed as he jumped on the couch.

"Oh yeah." Alex smiled. "Hey, remember when we ran into Paris Hilton?"

"Yeah." Fingers sighed as he sat down next to Tommy. "Mr. Invincible-Earth-Mover-here goosed her, and Wendy punched her out!"

"Oh yeah, the Kid of Rock heard about that." Razor laughed as he leaned against a wall, crossing his arms. "You guys are banned from all the Hilton hotels for life."

"So?" Wendy scoffed as she walked into the kitchen. "I don't care. That blonde brat asked for it. Make fun of _my_ hair, the little snotty…"

"Oh, great! Thanks, Razor!" Rip groaned. "Now you got her going again! I'm going to calm her down." The blond super-strong fire-wielding guitarist sighed as he walked into the kitchen to calm down a ranting Wendy.

**Downtown ****Miami**

The trenchcoat-and-hat-wearing figure walked up to a bank, his hands in his pockets. He took out on of his hands. He made a fist, and the fist turned into large orange rock. He cocked it back and threw it, using stretching powers to send the fist through the large front window of the bank. When the window shattered, an alarm sounded. The figure smirked.

**_That'll_**_ bring Kid Razor and his human friends over._ The figure walked into the alley next to the bank, and seemed to fade out of sight.

**Rock 'n' Roll Cavalier HQ**

"We interrupt this program for a special news bulletin!" The TV announced.

"Aw, _man!_" Tommy moaned. "Why do they always do this during the best part?"

"Turn it up!" Fingers ordered. Tommy immediately did so. Fingers then put his fingers to his temples. _Guys! Come in here and get a look at this!_ Fingers summoned the other Cavaliers telepathically. Tommy looked at the blue-haired keyboardist. "What?"

"You could have just yelled, dude." Tommy sighed, shaking his head. "You didn't need to do that."

"I like doing that." Fingers shrugged with a smile. The other Cavaliers and Razor gathered around the TV.

"Careful with that telepathy, dude." Razor smirked. "You know what they say about telepaths."

"Yeah, but Jean Grey and Emma Frost are hot chicks. I'm not." Fingers quipped.

"Ohhhhhhhh!" The Cavaliers and Razor laughed.

"Good one!" Alex hi-fived Fingers.

"Hey Alex, remember when we and Fingers went to the Xavier Institute and we saw the X-Women having a slumber party?" Tommy remembered fondly.

"Oh yeah…" Fingers smiled fondly. "Storm in her underwear…God…" The blue-haired telepath started drooling. He had a bit of a crush on the mutant weather goddess.

"Yeah, you three stooges tried filming it, but you came this close to getting your asses whupped." Wendy laughed.

"It was worth it." Alex shrugged. "Besides, it was obvious Emma Frost wanted me."

"No she didn't! She wanted me!" Tommy rolled his eyes.

"The 1st National Bank of Miami was broken into earlier today but the robbery baffled police. According to police, nothing was stolen." The reporter said.

"Why would you break into a bank, but not steal anything?" A baffled Wendy scratched her head.

"The Kid of Rock thinks that somebody wants to lure us there." Razor reasoned.

"It is logical." Fingers agreed. "Somebody wants us there. It could be a trap."

"We won't know for sure unless we get down there." Rip nodded. He looked at Razor. "All six Cavaliers together one last time. You up for it?"

"Is the Thing a butt-ugly jackass?" Razor smirked at the blond fire-wielder.

"Let's go." Rip waved.

**Downtown ****Miami**

Naturally, the first member of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers to arrive at the bank was the super-fast aerokinetic bassist codenamed Windspeed. He zipped up to the front of the bank in a black blur. He scratched his head as he looked at the shattered window.

"Huh…" Alex noted as he walked closer to the window. "This is really weird."

"Not as weird as you think, human." A voice said. Alex turned and saw the trenchcoat-and-hat-wearing figure fade into view. He threw off the coat and the hat, revealing a large green figure with pointed ears and a chin like a cliff face, in a purple-and-black costume. Alex's eyes widened.

_FINGERS!_ He screamed mentally. _Get your butt down here now!_ The figure, the Super-Skrull was about to attempt to fry Alex with the powers of the Human Torch when a rainbow-colored streak slammed into the Super-Skrull's side, knocking him across the ground.

"The Super-Skrull." Razor smirked as he backflipped, landing in a Spider-Man-esque pose. "Been too long, pal."

"You humiliated me in Mojoworld, Kid Razor **(2)**!" The Super-Skrull roared angrily. "Now I shall take my revenge!"

"Yak, yak, yak." Razor mocked. "Don't sing it, Super-Snot! Bring it!" The Super-Skrull charged Razor, his fists turning fiery and Thing-like, but Rip came out of nowhere, bashing him in the head with a taxi. Wendy flew down behind him, holding a platform made of electricity with electric rope that was holding Tommy and Fingers.

"You need to simmer down!" Rip snapped as he fired two blasts of flame from his hands at the car. The flames melted down the taxi, trapping the Super-Skrull in molten metal. As soon as Fingers hit the ground, the blue-haired keyboard player blasted the metal with jets of water from his own hands. The metal cooled, causing the green-skinned alien to be covered in molten metal up to his neck. The Super-Skrull cursed and snarled as he struggled to break out.

"_This_ is your revenge?" Razor laughed. "Man, you **suck!** You didn't expect the Kid of Rock to be with some old friends here, did you?" The Super-Skrull laughed.

"You think I am beaten _that_ easily?" The Skrull warrior laughed. "You young fools forget I have all the powers of the Fantastic Four!"

"Yeah, the powers of a nerd, a blonde tramp, a hothead, and a poster child for ugliness." Razor rolled his emerald eyes. "Yeah, I'm so scared."

"RAAAAAARGH!" The Super-Skrull roared, ripping his way out of the molten ex-car. He smirked. "As you humans say…Round Two."

"DING!" Razor yelled, firing a rainbow-colored streak of energy from his guitar.

**(1) - Sonic Blue helped take down the crazed Kelsey Leigh Captain ****Britain**** in "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**(2) - The Super-Skrull teamed up withthe Power-Skrull to take on Kid Razor and Sonic Blue in a tag-team wrestling match orchestrated by Mojo in "Uncanny Excalibur".**

**_Next: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 4: Double Trouble!_**_ While the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers battle the Super-Skrull in __Miami__, Ramada must deal with the crazed half-human half-demon biker known as Motorhead in __Cleveland!_


	27. Reunion Tour Part 4: Double Trouble!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! If you wanted to see the Super-Skrull, read "Uncanny Excalibur". Kid Razor is in that fic, and he fought the Super-Skrull, too. Yep, Jean Grey and Emma Frost are hot chicks. Jean's the type you can bring home to mom, while Emma's the one you can go to for wild nights. You're welcome! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I like the mental image of Wendy "Thunderwing" __Anderson__ laying out __Paris__ Hilton. It's really funny. Oh, yeah. I got over 100 reviews! I never thought I'd get that many for this fic. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the battle with the Cavaliers and the Super-Skrull is going to be brutal! Yeah, Spencer will confront Amora at some point. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, you can bet that the Cavaliers will have one bad fight with the Super-Skrull. Spencer confronting Amora, and Ramada battling Motorhead. This chapter is full of fights! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I find the mental image of Wendy punching out __Paris__ Hilton very amusing, too. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Motorhead is here, baby! Oh yes, nerds possess deadly powers. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "I think you should take a live grenade and stick it up your fat Irish ass!" - Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin, Rescue Me.**

**_Chapter 27: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 4: Double Trouble!_**

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

Spencer Allen Burton, dressed in his Sonic Blue armor, zipped up and down the streets of Cincinnati on patrol. He zipped into the park, and he found his friends Chunk, Randy, and Hannah sitting at a bench, talking. He smiled and zipped over to them. "Hey guys!"

"Hey!" The three kids waved. Spencer sat down with them, and he removed his visor.

"Isn't that armor hot?" Chunk blinked. Spencer shook his head.

"Nah. Automatic cooling system. Keeps me nice and comfy." Spencer answered. "Used some stuff based on Stark Tech."

"Man, that Stark guy must _love_ you to let you use some of his tech." Randy chuckled. Spencer shrugged modestly.

"I helped Iron Man out a couple times. Stark is very generous guy. He sure knows how to thank a guy." Sonic Blue shrugged. He then remembered something. "Hey, you guys, have you seen that blonde-haired girl around here? You know, Amora?"

"Speak of the devil." Hannah pointed across from her. Spencer looked in the direction she pointed, and saw the teenaged Amora walk towards the group.

"The devil indeed." Spencer mumbled as he got up, putting on his visor. He walked up to her purposefully. Amora smiled.

"Spencer, my love! It is-" Amora started to greet, but she got interrupted by Spencer grabbing her by the arm.

"Can I talk to you?" Spencer growled at Amora through gritted teeth. He then dragged her towards a stone maze nearby, making sure they were out of sight.

"That was weird." Randy blinked.

"Amora, I want to talk to you!" Spencer snapped.

"Huh?" The teenage Enchantress blinked.

"What did you do to me, Amora?" Spencer got in her face. "And can you _please_ change back into your normal form?" The blonde sighed. In a flash of blue light, the Enchantress changed back into her adult form.

"Something bothers you?" Amora wondered.

"What did you do to me?" Spencer growled. "I…just can't stop thinking about you for some reason, Amora." His cheeks turned bright red. The Enchantress smirked.

"Ah, perhaps thou hast finally fallen under my charms." Amora suggested cutely.

"That kiss." Spencer scowled. "The kiss you gave me in England **(1)**. I heard you can make a man love you with your kiss. What are you up to, Amora?" Amora's face displayed visible shock. She had completely forgotten!

_Oh, no…_Amora gasped. "Spencer…I…Oh, by Odin's beard! I…I…I didn't…"

"What did you do to me?" Spencer growled. "Are you back up to your old tricks? Is that all I am to you? Just some pawn for you to take over Asgard? Like the Executioner was?" Amora shook in shock.

"Spencer…I…" Amora stammered. "That kiss…T'was not meant to do that…"

**Miami, ****Florida**

"ARGH!" The Super-Skrull screamed as he got knocked into a wall. The six members of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers smirked as they approached the downed Skrull. Their costumes had some tears, and they looked beat up, but the Cavaliers stood tall, like all good Midwestern-born teenage superheroes. They had obviously been in quite a battle. An entire street was in ruins. Several Miami cops were seen barricading the area, looking at the battle with some interest.

"Hey Mick, you think the Fantastic Four should know about this? You know, the Super-Skrull being in Cavalier territory and all that jazz." One cop said to another. The second cop shrugged.

"I don't think they'd care." The second cop shrugged. The two noticed a yapping poodle run by, a cop chasing after it.

"Here, puppy puppy puppy…" A third cop cooed as he chased after the poodle. The first two cops groaned.

"Andrews…" The two cops groaned. Andrews screamed when he ran by them again, a whole bunch of dogs after him. Meanwhile, our heroes were kicking some big time butt.

"Hey, Stupid-Skrull!" Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor teased with a big smirk. "Is that all you got? You fight like a…" Razor realized Wendy was there. "…crud."

"Come on, Super-Skrull!" Tommy taunted. "You can't beat the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers!" The Super-Skrull snarled as he got to his feet.

"I am a warrior of the mighty Skrull Empire." The Skrull warrior turned invisible.

"I can still sense you, Skrull!" Fingers snapped. "Invisibility doesn't make you undetectable to my mind." Fingers attacked with a blue psychic beam from his head. The beam looked like the beam you see on a medical display. The beam hit an invisible forcefield the Super-Skrull created. The Skrull then called on the powers of Mr. Fantastic and nailed Fingers right in the face with a punch. "Agh!" The other Cavaliers then attacked with their powers.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A thief screamed as he fell through the sky.

"ARG!" Sergeant Harold Polanski screamed as the thief landed on top of him. He and Briscoe were standing around their squad car in front of a fast food restaurant. "Augh! My soda is all over me!"

"What in the world?" Briscoe blinked. The teenage alien princess known as Ramada floated down towards the officers, Altoc by her side.

"I believe on this planet, I have to take criminals to you." Ramada said.

"I should've known…" Polanski moaned as he got up and started to restrain the thief. "Alright, you! You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided to you. Any questions?"

"Yeah. Will you let me go if I promise never to do this again? I don't wanna be around _that_ crazy chick again!" The thief yelped, motioning at Ramada with his head.

"No." Polanski answered simply, shoving the thief into the back of the squad car.

"Greetings, Earthmen." Altoc greeted.

"What's going on, Ramada?" Briscoe waved. The Hispanic-looking alien princess shrugged.

"Nothing, really. My beloved Razor is in Florida right now visiting some old friends of his and…" Ramada got interrupted by the radio in the officers' squad car. "Who dares interrupt me?" Ramada snapped at the car.

"All units, all units, we have reports of superhuman activity down at the Gund Arena." The radio crackled out.

"Briscoe here. We're on it." Briscoe and Polanski raced off.

"Wait! I need to use the bathroom!" The thief yelled as the squad car sped off. Ramada blinked.

"Perhaps we should follow them, Ramada." Altoc suggested.

"I suppose." Ramada shrugged. The warrior princess took to the air and followed the car.

**The Gund Arena, Cleveland**

**_KABOOM!_**

"AIEEEEEE!" The crowd screamed and dispersed as explosions erupted in the stands, interrupting an Indians game. A red-skinned muscular man sat in the middle of the baseball diamond. He had red skin, long brown hair, and yellow eyes hidden under black shades. He was dressed in a black costume with red boots, a red studded belt, and bandolier-style gun belts across his chest, and a red trenchcoat. He was sitting on a demonic-looking red motorcycle with chrome pipes, fiery wheels, and black-and-silver flame highlights. His hands, which normally had sharp black fingertips and clad in studded wristbands and in black biker gloves, had appeared to have morphed into the barrels of double-barreled shotguns.

"WHOOOO YEAH!" The figure hooted in delight. His mad grin revealed yellowed sharp teeth. His name was once Jeremy Todd, a psychotic biker who roamed America's highways on a motorcycle, causing death and destruction everywhere he went with a shotgun and a chainsaw. He had died in an accident over a decade ago. He was resurrected by Selene during her days as the Hellfire Club's Black Queen as a half-human half-demon monster called Motorhead. Motorhead was a monster with superhuman strength and durability. He could morph his arms into demonic shotguns or chainsaws. However, he had one glaring weakness: He was tough as nails, but his power was cut in half when he was off his bike. "Oh yeah, baby! Motorhead rules! WHOOO! NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME!"

"Hold it, monster!" A voice snapped. Motorhead blinked.

"What the hell?" Motorhead turned his head and saw Ramada standing on the field in a warrior pose, arms crossed. She unsheathed her sword. Motorhead laughed.

"Aw, how cute." Motorhead chuckled arrogantly. "The little girl thinks she's Red Sonja."

"I do not know who this…Red Sonja is." Ramada growled. "But that does not matter. Who are you, and why are you here?"

"I am Motorhead, shorty." Motorhead laughed. "And I'm here because I can. I enjoy hearing the screams of humans in pain. And it looks like I'm going to have to add you to my list." He pointed one of his shotgun arms at Ramada and fired. The yellow energy bullets flew towards Ramada. She quickly unsheathed her sword.

"If only you know my _real_ nature, Motorhead." Ramada smirked.

**_Next: _****_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 5: Motor Madness!_**_ Motorhead and Ramada brawl, and the results lead up to an event in "Uncanny Four"!_


	28. Reunion Tour Part 5: Motor Madness!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, there will be a fight! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I'm a little proud of the chapter myself. You're welcome, man! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! The strange thing is, fights aren't my biggest strength. I'm not the best at writing fight scenes. Yeah, the fight was fun to do anyway. I agree. Poor ol' Amora. She wanted to win Spencer on her own merits. No spells, no tricks, no funny stuff. They do say a kiss can screw a lot of stuff up. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you enjoyed the beach. Oh yeah, it's always been suspenseful in Kid Razor's world! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails" and "Gifts and Curses"!_

**Disclaimer: "You gotta ask yourself, 'Do I feel lucky?'. Well do ya, punk?" - Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry**

**_Reunion_****_ Tour Part 5: Motor Madness!_**

**Miami, ****Florida**

"Now **_that_**…was a reunion." Kid Razor snickered. The Ultimate Rockstar and his fellow Cavaliers: Flamefist, Thunderwing, Steelquake, Windspeed, and Psywave, high-fived each other.

"Ohhhhh…" The Super-Skrull moaned. He looked like he had the living snot pounded out of him. His head was sticking out of a taxi, and he was also covered in molten metal and solid rock. "…I am Captain Sally of the Sheep…"

"Yeah, good thing Steelquake caused a tremor at the right time." Alex "Windspeed" Baines smirked, playfully punching his little brother, Tommy "Steelquake" Baines, in the arm.

"Well, big bro, it was really the fact that you caused a gust at the right angle…" Tommy smirked.

"There they go again." Wendy "Thunderwing" Anderson snickered.

"Why don't you guys come back home to Cleveland with the Kid of Rock for a while." Razor smirked, pulling his Warper out of his jacket. He set the coordinates for Cleveland, pressed the button, and the warp appeared.

**Braddock Manor, ****London, ****England**

Amora, aka the Enchantress, was sitting at the table in the Braddock Manor. The Asgardian was holding a cup of tea, and she looked very depressed.

"Amora? Is something wrong?" A blonde pointy-eared woman peeked in. She was Meggan Braddock. Her home was also the headquarters of Excalibur, a super-team that she and Amora were members of. Amora looked up at her.

"…Aye." Amora nodded sadly. "I hast…how doth the mortals say it now…screwed up big time."

"What do you mean?" Meggan wondered, taking a seat.

"I had…accidentally…placed Spencer under my thrall of sorts…" Amora sighed.

"Oh, dear…" Meggan sighed.

"He hates me." Amora moaned. "Spencer is convinced I am attempting to use him in some form of nefarious plot. That was doth not intended. I doth not wanted Spencer to fall blindly for me." She sighed. "I wished to win his heart justly. He hast the intelligence and intuition of a scholar, and the courage and strength of a warrior. I think the nine worlds of him."

"Poor you." Meggan sighed.

"I made the same mistake with Skurge." Amora sighed, remembering the Executioner, her old crony back when she was trying to conquer Asgard. "I used him. I had taken advantage of his love for me. I realized I had loved him when he died. He died in a manner befitting him as a warrior. I had vowed never to make that mistake again. It is like Skurge is visiting some wrath upon me from Valhalla."

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Come down here and fight, broad!" Motorhead roared angrily. He was sitting on his motorcycle, and he had morphed his arms into shotgun barrels. He was firing yellow energy bullets at a flying Ramada. The space princess was easily dodging the bullets, which exploded when they hit the stands.

"Ha!" Ramada laughed. "You are a terrible shot! You'll have to improve your aim if you wish to shoot down Princess Ramada of Torac!"

"Hold still, you royal pain!" Motorhead roared, still firing his guns. Altoc, the little disco ball-like orb that came to Earth with Ramada, was watching.

"Oh dear, I hope Ramada is careful…" Altoc moaned. He then picked up sirens. "Oh dear…" He floated down to the front of the stadium. The sounds of explosions, super-punches, chainsaws, cursing in both English and in some alien tongue, and swordplay were heard in the background, coming from inside the stadium. Altoc floated down to the squad car and saw two familiar figures emerge from the car.

"Oh, look. The disco ball." Sgt. Amanda Briscoe snickered. Sgt. Harold Polanski groaned.

"I really dislike being called that." Altoc sighed.

"Kid Razor calls you that all the time." Briscoe shrugged. "Since he isn't around, I thought I'd keep it up."

"Doesn't your charge have parents?" Polanski muttered.

"Yes." Altoc answered.

"Well, she's been here on Earth for quite some time. You think they'd notice she's gone." Polanski explained.

"You'd be surprised how busy the rulers of a planet are." Altoc sighed. An explosion was heard from within the stadium. "Oh, dear."

"Let me guess…" Polanski muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose to show his annoyance. "Your…charge is in there, getting into a fight."

"Oh yes. With some odd red-skinned human on a motorcycle." Altoc answered. Briscoe and Polanski's jaws dropped. They looked at each other.

"Motorhead!" They exclaimed in unison.

"Who?" Altoc wondered.

"Motorhead." Polanski growled. "A psychopath if I ever met one. What's worse is that he's an _undead_ psychopath."

"Motorhead was once a psychotic motorcycle-riding serial killer named Jeremy Todd." Briscoe explained. "He would rampage America's roadways, attacking with his trademark shotguns and chainsaws. He was wanted in all 48 Continental states."

"Appropriately enough, the psycho died thanks to a highway patrolman in southern Ohio. In actuality, Todd was drunk, and he crashed his bike into a moving squad car." Polanski smirked. "The patrolman survived. Hell, he was actually _commended_ for taking Todd out."

"A long while back, he mysteriously returned." Briscoe nodded. "No one is exactly sure how. And according to his statements, he had been transformed into a half-man, half-demon. Motorhead's pretty tough."

"Yeah, but his power's cut in half if he gets knocked off his bike." Polanski muttered.

**_KABOOM!_**

"Look out!" Altoc yelled. Polanski and Briscoe quickly dove behind the police car. A cackling Motorhead raced out on his motorcycle, firing a shotgun arm behind him. Ramada flew by them, in pursuit of the mad half-man, half-demon biker. Upon a closer look, it was revealed that Ramada was using a cable she had thrown around the back of the bike. Their car managed to protect Altoc and the two officers from flying stadium shrapnel.

"Hold it, Motorhead!" Polanski drew his gun, but Motorhead was too far away. "Dammit!"

"Come on! We must pursue them!" Altoc exclaimed. The two cops nodded and leapt in the car.

"I can't believe we're listening to a floating disco ball." Polanski muttered to himself as he buckled in.

"Meh. We've been through weirder stuff." Briscoe shrugged. The squad car raced off. They tried to keep up, but an Earthly squad car couldn't quite keep up with a demonic bike towing a space princess.

"Blast it! We can't keep up with them! We'll burn out this thing's engine before we can match Motorhead's speed!" Polanski growled.

"I can track Ramada." Altoc offered. "As her guardian, I can scan for her energy signature. There's none like it…well, it helps that she is the only native of her world here." Altoc started to glow red. "She is at the Business District."

"Brilliant." Briscoe sighed.

"The Business District is at its busiest at this hour!" Polanski quickly checked his watch. "I hope your little alien doesn't end up getting anyone killed."

"…So do I." Altoc sighed.

**The Business District, ****Cleveland**

"Ha!" Ramada lifted up Motorhead's bike, with him still on it, flew a short distance into the air, and hurled it into a building. "You are powerful, demon! But you still have to prove your mettle to Ramada!" Motorhead's bike leapt toward her by itself (It's mentally commanded by Motorhead himself), and it attempted to run over her. The squad car slammed into the bike and knocked it to the side. Polanski and Briscoe emerged from the car. Ramada snarled. The young alien warrior took to the air and flew into the hole in the building. However, she was slowed down by Motorhead, packing his shotgun arms.

"Eat Demon Bullet, you space case!" He fired at her. She dodged the bullets. The bullets smashed into the building behind her. The bullets caused chunks of the building to fall down to the ground. Unfortunately, it looked like it was all about to fall on top of a dazed person.

"No!" Polanski ran towards the man.

"Harry! No!' Briscoe screamed. Ramada turned around.

"No! Polanski! Run back! Let me AAAARGH!" Motorhead blasted the space princess in the back. Polanski pushed the guy out of the way, but the falling rubble covered the police officer.

"HARRY!"

**_FWOOSH!_**

A portal opened up. Kid Razor and the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers went out.

"Oh my God!" Wendy exclaimed.

"Polanski's under there!" Briscoe screamed, trying to dig through the rubble. Motorhead smirked.

"Hey Razor!" Motorhead cackled. "Looks like Selene just may pay me after all!" _Stupid fool! Morgan's plan is working perfectly! She had better pay me good!_

"I KNEW IT!" Ronnie Rocker appeared. "I KNEW SHE WAS UP TO HER OLD TRICKS!"

**_Next: Reflections of a Rockstar!_**_ Kid Razor reflects on his actions in this chapter and his crashing of the Thing and Selene's wedding in "Uncanny Four"._


	29. Reflections of a Rockstar!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Here's more for you to review when you get back. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it was a blast. If you want to know where Selene is currently, check out Uncanny R-Man's fic, "Uncanny Four". She's in it, although she's gone through some…changes. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, that was some chapter I wrote! In this one, Razor does some reflecting on his actions in a fic that's set in the same universe as this one. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Amora is in a real pickle. Well, Amora and Meggan are teammates, so it'd only be natural she'd go to them. I think Meggan would sense Amora's distress, so she would want to talk to her so if she can, she can help out. Yeah, we're going to look at the wedding crashing in "Uncanny Four" from Razor's point of view. I figured we should. After all, there's a lot of history between the parties involved. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, this event leads Razor to crash the wedding in "Uncanny Four". Yup, you got it. Morgan Le Fey sent Motorhead out and had him trick Kid Razor into believing that Selene had sent him, taking advantage of Razor's lack of knowledge about her…current whereabouts. Read "Uncanny Four" to see Razor crash the wedding. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Is this even legal?" - Me**

_**Chapter 29: Reflections of a Rockstar!**_

**Braddock Manor, London, England**

Amora, the Asgardian sorceress known as the Enchantress, sat down in the kitchen with Meggan. The two of them were talking.

"I thank thee, Meggan." Amora smiled. "Your words helped me greatly, but I am still troubled."

"Maybe you should do something for Spencer." Meggan suggested to the blonde sorceress. "Yeah, that's it. Do something for him to make up for it. Show him that you really care about him."

"Thank thee." Amora smiled. "That helped greatly." _Now, how do I make it up to him?_

**A local hospital in Cleveland**

In the hospital, Sgt. Harold Polanski was lying in a hospital bed. He was dressed in a hospital gown, and he had an IV going into his arm and an oxygen hose attached under his nose. Standing with him was his partner, Sgt. Amanda Briscoe. She looked terrible.

"How is he?" A voice asked. Briscoe looked up and saw Wendy "Thunderwing" Anderson.

"He's still in a coma." Briscoe sniffled, wiping a tear from her eye. "They're not sure if he'll make it."

"He will." Wendy reassured. "Ol' Polanski is too stubborn to quit now. He always was."

"Yeah…" Briscoe looked at Polanski with a small smile. "He was. He always tried to find some way to get Razor behind bars back in the day. Can I admit something to you?" Wendy nodded. "Well…I think Polanski and Razor respect each other."

"Huh?" Wendy blinked in confusion. She had been with the Cavaliers from the time Razor got his powers, to the time the Cavaliers themselves gained superpowers, to the time the Cavaliers moved to Miami. She had known Polanski for years, and Polanski didn't seem to respect Razor. After all, over the years, Razor's done everything to Polanski from punching him out to pulling down his pants in front of Cleveland's mayor. "I don't understand. I always got the vibe that they hated each other."

"Oh sure, they probably did…Okay, they did." Briscoe nodded. "But they were a lot alike. They're both stubborn. They both are fearless…" She looked back at the comatose officer. "…and they're both willing to lay it on the line for others."

"Ah." Wendy nodded in understanding. "I see." She sighed, brushing back her black-and-yellow hair. "Have you seen Razor?" Briscoe shook her head.

"No. Your friend Tommy did. He said Razor needed to go and think." Briscoe responded.

**A nearby rooftop**

On the next building over from the hospital, Kid Razor was sitting on the roof edge, looking down at the street. He was showing a rare side of himself: his contemplative side. The Fearless One was remembering some earlier actions. He returned to Cleveland to find Motorhead had attacked the city, and Polanski injured. The event infuriated Razor, and he and the Cavaliers took the demon biker down. However, Razor was pushed over the edge when Motorhead revealed Selene had sent him. Ronnie Rocker confirmed it by telling Razor he saw Selene at the Baxter Building **(1)**, but he was suspicious. Ronnie then realizedshe was lying (at least, he thought she was lying). Razor crashed her wedding at the Baxter Building, but he was forced to back off. **(2)**

_How could they?_ Razor mentally grunted. _How could they forgive that old witch? After all she's done in her thousands of years?_

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ronnie Rocker appeared next to Razor. The ghost sat down next to his young protégé. Razor grunted.

"Meh."

"This is about Selene, huh?" Ronnie asked. Razor nodded. "I don't blame you, kiddo. I'd still be alive if it weren't for that old hag." He then realized something. "Of course, I'd be getting ray around the temples, though. Heh heh. At least I left a good-lookin' corpse."

"Yeah, yeah." Razor muttered.

"Yeah, I wasn't too happy either, man." Ronnie explained. "I've met a lot of ghosts who became ghosts thanks to Selene. They ain't too happy either."

"How, Ronnie? How?" Razor sighed. "How could those jerks forgive Selene? After all she's done to innocent people. To me, to my friends…"

"I dunno." Ronnie shrugged. "She claimed she has reformed." The ghostly glam rocker snorted. "Yeah right. You don't be an evil sorceress for several millennia and reform overnight, contrary to popular belief!" Razor nodded.

"You know, the Kid of Rock never had a lot of respect for the other heroes." Razor admitted. "He's always thought of them as self-centered jerks."

"You know, Selene was dead once." Ronnie muttered. Razor's jaw dropped. "Yeah, Doc Doom did her in. Sent her straight to Hell. But the Ever-Lovin'-Blue-Eyed-Thing freed her ass." **(3)**

"_WHAT?_" Razor roared.

"You got that right! A lot of people in the Great Beyond are mad about it." Ronnie nodded. "Especially her victims. She left a lot of unhappy ghosts. They all had a chance at peace until ol' Benji Grimm screwed it up."

"I can imagine." Razor nodded. Ronnie smirked.

"We don't have to go to the Baxter Building." The glam rocker explained. "I've been hearing that a lot of Selene's former victims are planning to pay a visit to the FF's home. Of course, it's only a rumor."

"What can ghosts do besides scare people?" Razor scrunched his face.

"Ever seen the _Poltergeist_ movies?" Ronnie smirked.

"Oh yeah…" Razor nodded. "Anyway, why would they forgive that old witch?"

"I dunno, Razor." Ronnie sighed. "They say she's in love with the Thing."

"The wedding obviously indicated that." Razor muttered. "Has the whole world gone nuts? I mean, the Kid of Rock always thought of the Fantastic Four as a bunch of jerkoffs, but this…this…this _really_ takes the cake!"

"No kidding." Ronnie groaned.

"What do we do, man? What do we do?" Razor sighed. "It's not fair! She doesn't _deserve_ redemption! Not after all the BS she's pulled over the years on me and those I care about!"

"Yeah, no kidding." Ronnie agreed. "We really need to talk to Reed."

"Why would the FF care?" Razor snapped angrily. "They never gave a damn before! They _fought_ Selene once! And it's obvious they were willing to screw the dead of their rightful justice! I swear Ronnie, if the Kid of Rock ever sees the Fantastic Four again…there will be punches thrown."

**(1) - (3) - See "Uncanny Four"**

_**Next: Born to Be Wild! **Kid Razor meets Steppenwolf, a wolf-like warrior who seeks Ramada as a mate! Plus, Morgan Le Fey does some more plotting against the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker!_


	30. Born to be Wild!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To marco cabrera: Hey there, marco! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you liked the story so far. Kid Razor is a great character. You can use him in your fics if you want. As for unknown legacy, I have no idea when and if he'll update "Uncanny Kim Possible". Sorry. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it's a fight coming up soon! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you, man!_

_To Aaron: hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Polanski's much too stubborn. He tried to arrest Razor for a long time. The two do respect each other more than anyone realizes. I agree. Both Razor and Ronnie Rocker have been through a lot thanks to Selene, and it's going to be difficult for either of them to forgive her. I think Ronnie will keep an eye on her, and on the Fantastic Four. Yup, Ramada's gonna have a stalker. You can bet she won't be happy. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, it was a nice change. Razor usually doesn't think a lot on his actions, especially back in his early days. He's grown a lot, but he's still immature. I don't think Polanski will die. He's too stubborn. I think Razor would be halfway tempted to letting Steppenwolf have Ramada. What'd you mean by that? Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Gifts and Curses", and I loved it! Poor Sam. Rahne is gonna **kill** Hrimhari. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, that pairing was not my idea. It was R-Man's. Read his fic "Uncanny Four". This story is set in that same universe. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To needles: Hey there, needles! Nice to hear from you! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! "__Detroit__Rock__City__" is the name of a Kiss song. Razor sometimes calls his hometown "__Cleveland__Rock__City__" as a pun, and on the fact that __Cleveland__ has the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. Razor often makes song title and band name puns, especially back in his early days. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "A rock wearing a rock." - The Thing**

**_Chapter 30: Born to Be Wild!_**

**Hellfire Club, ****Manhattan**

"Le Fay!" Motorhead snapped as he marched angrily into her room. The sorceress, and the Hellfire Club's new Black Queen, looked up from her crystal ball.

"What do you want, Todd?" Morgan narrowed her eyes at the demon biker. She then smirked in bemusement. "You have looked better." Indeed, Motorhead looked terrible. His glasses were broken, he had a black eye, and his outfit was torn up slightly and singed in a couple places.

"Very funny!" The biker snapped, crossing his arms. "I hope you give me a lot of cash for this, especially after the pounding Kid Razor and those other damn Cavaliers gave me! I told him it was Selene who sent me. Man, the look in his eyes…"

"You shall receive your payment." Morgan nodded.

"But Razor didn't kill her. The other heroes forced him to back off." Motorhead grunted.

"I was aware of that." Morgan smirked. "Razor failing doesn't irk me in the least. Either way, the spark was lit."

"Huh?"

"Think of it this way." Morgan smirked. "New York doesn't hold all the hero population. Kid Razor and Ramada in Cleveland. Sonic Blue and Frog-Man in Cincinnati. Winger in Seattle. Wildstar in Los Angeles, and the Cavaliers in Miami."

"Yeah. They're all local heroes." Motorhead snorted. "Heard of Winger and Wildstar. Winger's some kid with a winged jetpack, and Wildstar's a cat mutie. So?"

"So? Those heroes are all different from the New York-based heroes." Morgan answered. "They're all independent, but they've all worked together on occasion."

"And they're all punk kids." Motorhead smirked.

"Exactly." Morgan nodded. "I plan to create little incidents to mobilize these 'local heroes' and the 'New York heroes' and set them against each other." Motorhead raised an eyebrow.

"You plan to start a war." Motorhead smirked.

"A civil war in the hero community." Morgan answered. "It will leave them weakened, and it will allow the Hellfire Club to swoop in and take the world."

**On the outskirts of Cleveland**

A futuristic sleigh-like spacecraft landed on a farm not too far from Cleveland. It looked like a 1950s muscle car mixed in with a one-person craft from _The Jetsons_. The dome of the craft was tinted black. The craft was red with gold highlights. It had a rear spoiler much like a race car. A farmer watched the craft land. He pulled out a flask and started pouring it out.

**In front of a diner, Cleveland, Ohio**

Kid Razor and Ramada sat in a diner.

"The service is late." Ramada grumbled. "I should behead someone."

"Relax, Ramada." Razor mumbled, not looking up from his video game. "Give 'em time. And Spencer and Eugene should be arriving right about…" A blue blur zipped up to the table. "…Now." Eugene, in his new Frog-Man armored costume, hopped in behind them. The patrons tittered in delight. Razor looked up. "Hey, guys."

"Hey!" Spencer and Eugene took seats next to Razor and Ramada.

"Where's Altoc, Ramada?" Eugene asked the alien princess. She shrugged.

"No Disco Balls allowed." Razor snickered.

"The management does not allow Altoc here. They say he creeps out customers." Ramada explained.

"A floating, talking disco ball. That's not freaky." Eugene rolled his eyes under his frog helmet.

"I suppose you guys heard?" Razor asked the boys.

"Yeah." Spencer nodded solemnly. "Sorry, Razor. How is he?"

"Polanski's a fighter." Razor smirked. "They say he's improving."

"That's good." Eugene smiled. He put a webbed gauntlet on Razor's shoulder. "From what you told me about him, he'll be fine."

"Yeah, he'll be back, being himself all over again."

"Yeah, we also heard about that little wedding you crashed." Spencer nodded. **(1)** Razor's face darkened.

"Yeah." Razor growled.

"Personally, I'm just as mad as Razor is." Spencer groused.

"Here's your food." The waitress walked up, and gave the kids their burgers, fries, and shakes. The kids thanked her.

"I mean, I _admired_ the Fantastic Four." Spencer continued when she left. "How could they do this? Just simply forgive her and take her in? They **_know_** what Selene had done to me. I _died_ because of her, and my soul was tortured! I couldn't wear the armor again for months after that."

"I battled her in every damn corner of the damned globe!" Razor growled. "It's not fair." He looked out the window. "After all she did. Hell, she said that Rachel Summers and Magma of the X-Men had forgiven her. Back in the day, Selene was obsessed with absorbing Rachel's life force, and she murdered Magma's family. How can they forgive her after all she did to them?" Ramada put her hand on his.

"I have heard of this Selene woman. She's hurt all of you."

"Not me. Never even _heard_ of her." Eugene shrugged. "But I have heard Razor's battles with her are legendary."

"They are." Spencer nodded. "One time, Razor and Selene brawled in London. Razor ran the witch down with a double-decker bus. He grabbed her, stuffed her in it, then blew the sucker up." The young genius sighed. "I can't believe this. Personally, I'm beginning to _agree_ with Razor about this. Next time the FF hit Cincinnati…I don't know what I'll do. I used to admire them, but now…" He shook his head. "I dunno." People started murmuring and screaming. "What the-!"

"Hey, what's that?" Razor noticed the craft. Ramada gasped, and rushed outside. The boys looked at each other in confusion, then ran out after her.

"It cannot be…" Ramada blinked.

"Who is it?" Razor wondered, narrowing his eyes at the craft.

"It can't be Galactus." Spencer activated his visor's built-in scanners.

"Unless he accidentally encountered a shrink ray." Razor quipped. The front of the ship opened up, and a person stepped out. He looked like a muscular young man a little older than Razor. His features were like that of a wolf, complete with brown fur. His hair was long and black, tied in a neat ponytail. He was dressed in a formal black uniform with red armor pieces. The red armor covered his lower arms and hands, his chest and shoulders, and his lower legs and feet. The red pieces had gold highlights. A scimitar-like sword with a golden hilt was in a red scabbard attached to his hip by a black belt. "Oh look, it's what you get when you put the Wolfman in Star Wars."

"Steppenwolf." Ramada narrowed her eyes. The werewolf-like warrior bowed with a flourish at Ramada.

"Princess Ramada. You look as lovely as ever."

"You know this guy?" Eugene blinked at Ramada.

"Steppenwolf." Ramada ran a hand through her long black-and-blond hair with a sigh. "He's a flamboyant warrior from another planet. An expert swordsman and unarmed combatant. And he has a thing for me."

"Great, a mix of the Wolfman, Gary Glitter, Luke Skywalker, and Caine. What a wonderful opponent." Razor groaned.

**(1) - Kid Razor crashed the Thing's wedding in "Uncanny Four"**

**_Next: Still Born to be Wild!_**


	31. Still Born to Be Wild!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To HyperCaz: Hey there, HyperCaz! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, the clash is going to be great! Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Mm-hmm, Morgan wants to screw with the heroes by setting them against each other. Yeah, Razor and Spencer had been through a lot thanks to the former Black Queen. I was very surprised that they were the only heroes who took Selene's going straight with a grain of salt. I think that the meetings would be very tense. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Slugs and Snails", "Gifts and Curses", and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I was hoping that we'd see more of Amora in "Uncanny Excalibur", to be honest with you. I think a team-up with the Uncanny New Mutants would be tense. Neither Amara nor Rachel had fought Selene as many times as Razor had. He's stopped a lot more of her schemes than them both of them put together. Oh, she goes by Rachel Grey now. Oh, okay. Thanks. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To marco cabrera: Hey there, marco! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, there is a DC Comic character called Steppenwolf. I think he's Darkseid's uncle. However, this Steppenwolf is different. It's keeping up with a theme I have. A lot of supporting characters get their names/codenames from rock bands. A Kid Razor/Justice League crossover? I do want to do a Marvel/DC crossover sometime. I have one planned in another fic. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, a good brawl between heroes is always good for a laugh. I'll see if I can get Ramada to loan him to you. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can't wait for new chapters of "Peace Between Humans and Mutants: Priceless"!_

**Disclaimer: "He's flying his pants, Al!"**

**_Chapter 31: Still Born to be Wild!_**

**The ****Baxter ****Building, ****New York**

"Hmmm hm hmmm…" Reed Richards, aka Mr. Fantastic, hummed happily as he looked in a microscope in his lab. "This has got to be the most unusual genetic code I've seen in my life…" Johnny Storm, aka the Human Torch, walked in.

"Hey Reed, the robotic secretary in the lobby is broken. Could you-?"

"I'll deal with it in a second." Reed nodded, not looking up. "Right now, I'm trying to analyze this DNA sample of Galactus."

"Why?" A confused Johnny blinked. Reed looked up and shrugged.

"Something to do." The scientist answered. A blue light started glowing behind them. "What the-?" The two members of the Fantastic Four turned around, and saw a blue light. The light flashed, and it turned into Ronnie Rocker. The glam rocker crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, no…" Johnny groaned. Reed shook his head.

"Hello, Ronnie. Is something bothering you?" When Reed finished asking that question, he found himself on the receiving end of a glare.

"I want to talk to you, Richards." Ronnie growled. "Just be glad Razor isn't here, or else he'd be tearing this place apart."

"Go away, Rocker!" Johnny snapped. "We haven't forgotten what your protégé did at Ben's wedding." **(1)**

"Take it up with Razor, you flaming windbag!" An uncharacteristically angry Ronnie snapped.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Agh!" Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man, screamed as he hit a car, spine-first. "Oh God, good thing this costume is armored."

"Have at thee!" Steppenwolf crowed happily. He had out a mace, but it was just a sword-like hilt. The body and the spiked head were composed of red energy, much like a form of a lightsaber. He blocked a thrust Ramada made with her sword, which was glowing with golden energy. The two grappled, but Steppenwolf was forced to kneel on one knee by Ramada's superior strength.

"Give it up, Steppenwolf." Ramada growled. "I am stronger than you!"

"True, my dear…" Steppenwolf grunted. "But you forget. It's not just strength that makes a warrior. It's also skill and intelligence!" The wolf-like alien warrior twisted his body, causing him to be able to get out from under her with a twirl. Without his weight to keep her balanced, Ramada fell to the ground. Steppenwolf back-flipped onto a car with a flourish.

"I may not have powers, my dear. But you must admit, I can certainly match you in fighting skill." The wolf-like alien smirked. Ramada snarled.

"How _dare_ you!" A humiliated Ramada snarled in anger. Altoc floated down next to the young alien girl.

"Ramada, don't fight with a hot head." Altoc warned. "He may not be able to match you in power, but he fights smartly. He doesn't lose his temper in battle."

"SHUT UP, ALTOC!" Ramada screamed indignantly, jumping to her feet. With a scream, she raced toward Steppenwolf, intent on rearranging his facial features. Meanwhile, Kid Razor and Sonic Blue were doing something that superheroes did not normally do when two super-powered beings were brawling: They stayed back and watched.

"Are you _sure_ we shouldn't help?" Spencer asked Razor, who was picking at his teeth with a toothpick, leaning on a lamppost.

"She said she didn't need it." Razor shrugged, flicking it away. "And who is the Kid of Rock to disobey the woman who will become his future fiancée? She'll make the Kid of Rock sleep on the couch. The cold, cold couch." Razor laughed at his own joke. Spencer shook his head.

"Oh, my head." Eugene moaned as he hopped up to the two boys, rubbing his helmeted head. "Man, those two can fight."

**_KABOOM!_**

"You know, I just noticed something." Spencer observed.

**_KA-DOOM!_**

"Testify, Brother Spencer." Razor snickered. Spencer rolled his eyes.

**_WHOOM!_**

"Well, Steppenwolf doesn't seem to have any form of superpowers." Spencer explained. "No super strength, super speed, not even super-fast reflexes."

**_KABLAM!_**

"But that energy mace can pack a punch." Eugene winced and rubbed his armored chin, remembering the blow he accidentally received. The sounds of Ramada and Steppenwolf brawling and screaming at each other rang out in the background.

**_WHAM!_**

"COME HERE, YOU-!" Ramada's voice roared.

"Super strength's over-rated anyway." Razor scoffed. "The Kid of Rock can name ten people who have some form of super-strength."

**_CRUNCH!_**

"Really?" Eugene grinned, Steppenwolf's screaming heard in the background. "Do it!"

"Alright…" Razor cleared his throat. "Well, there's Colossus, there's ol' Roguey, the Beast…" Spencer started counting off on his armored fingers. "There's the Thing, the Hulk, Spider-Man, Frog-Man, Sonic Blue, the She-Hulk, the Absorbing Man in certain states, Titania, Flamefist, Selene could pack a punch in her day, how many is that?"

**_WHAM!_**

"Thirteen." Spencer counted.

**_CLUNK!_**

"HA! You missed!" Steppenwolf teased.

"Alright, then." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock proved his point. Man, he is so glad he doesn't have super strength."

**_CLANG!_**

The three boys ducked a lamppost.

"Great Wings of Mercury!" Spencer exclaimed. **(1)** Frog-Man and Razor shot him a pair of weird looks.

"Great…wings…of Mercury?" Razor groaned.

"What?" Spencer blinked innocently. "What?"

"Anyway, what else were you about to say about Steppenwolf?" Razor changed the subject.

"It appears he basically is a warrior." Spencer nodded.

"So? Ramada thinks of herself as a warrior, and she's got powers." Eugene blinked.

"What I mean is, all Steppenwolf has is his skills as a fighter." Spencer elaborated.

"Sometimes, skill is all you need." Razor smirked at the fight. "Like that time the Kid of Rock yanked down J. Jonah Jameson's pants in front of a crowd."

"That was dumb luck!" Spencer countered. A screaming Ramada flew over them and landed on a car.

"You okay, babe?" Razor asked nonchalantly. Ramada growled as she picked herself up. Eugene turned to Steppenwolf.

"Just why _are_ you here, anyway?" Eugene blinked. The wolf-like alien warrior smirked.

"Probably just to drive us all nuts." Spencer muttered.

"No. I merely wish to win Ramada's hand." Steppenwolf explained. He sighed happily. "She is beautiful and quite feisty."

"…You can have her if you want." Razor shrugged.

**A local hospital in Cleveland**

Sgt. Polanski's head fell to the side. It then moved slowly to the other side. His head repeated the motion. It continued over and over, his head going faster and faster, being accompanied by moaning. He suddenly opened his eyes and awoke with a scream.

"KID RAZOR IF YOU DARE TRY TO PULL DOWN MY PANTS I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE HEAD!" The officer blinked as he looked around. He looked down at himself, noticing he was in a hospital gown. He then turned his head at the gaping and shocked nurse who happened to be at the door. "…Have you seen my pants?" The nurse fainted.

**_Next: Take My Future Wife, Please!_**_ Steppenwolf wishes to make Ramada his bride…and a thrilled Kid Razor tries to convince her to agree to it._

**(1) - "Great Wings of Mercury" was uttered by the Silver Age Flash, Barry Allen. I'm not sure if the catchphrase was from the comics or the cartoons.**


	32. Take My Future Wife, Please!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Author's Note: Hello to all my fans! This is L1701E! Sadly, due to new rules, authors are no longer allowed to write responses to their reviewers, so there will be no more review responses written by me. I hope this doesn't stop anyone from reviewing my stories, because I do appreciate your reading and reviews. Thank you for understanding, and enjoy this new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: "If you've been there, you want a photograph." - Gene Simmons**

**_Chapter 32: Take My Future Wife, Please!_**

**The ****Baxter ****Building, ****New York City, ****New York**

"WINDBAG?" Johnny Storm, the hot-headed member of the Fantastic Four known as the Human Torch, snapped at the ghostly glam rocker named Ronnie Rocker. "You got a lot of nerve, Rocker!"

"I'm sorry, you're right." Ronnie smirked, crossing his arms. "It'd be more appropriate to call you a flying flamer." A growling Johnny created a fireball in his hand, and prepared to pitch it at the ghostly glam rocker.

"Johnny, stop!" Reed Richards, the super-stretchy scientist and leader of the Fantastic Four known as Mr. Fantastic, ordered. Reed used his powers to hold Johnny back. "He's a ghost, remember? Your fireball will only pass through him and start a fire." After a minute, a glaring Johnny extinguished his fireball. "Something troubles you, I assume."

"Actually, I was hoping to speak to a certain rock-head." Ronnie scowled.

"Benjamin is not here. He and Selene have gone on their honeymoon." **(1)**

"Yeah, hopefully, they won't get visited by your little friend." Johnny growled.

"I see…" Ronnie nodded.

"What're you here for, Ronnie? Still angry about Selene reforming?" Johnny grunted.

"She **_murdered_** me, Storm! I have every right to be angry about it!" Ronnie growled. "She destroyed my life just to get the guitar that Razor now wields!"

"Ronnie…stop." Reed tried to calm down the angry ghost. "We're not saying you had every right to hate Selene for what she did to you. It is because of her that you're in an ectoplasmic state now. That's not in doubt."

"Come again?" Ronnie blinked.

"He means we know Selene killed you, Ronnie." Johnny groaned.

"No kidding." Ronnie growled. "Richards, let me explain to you something. I'm not the only ghost that got that way thanks to Selene. She left thousands, _hundreds_ of thousands, perhaps even more in her wake over the millennia! A lot of ghosts were none too happy with Benjy rescuing Selene from her rightful punishment."

"He did it because he loved her, Ronnie." Reed shook his head.

"And in the process, he ROYALLY SCREWED a lot of murdered souls out of PEACE!" Ronnie snapped in response. "A lot of ghosts want nothing more than peace, Reed. When a person is murdered, their soul can't find peace unless the one who murdered them gets punished." Ronnie sighed sadly. "In my case, I can't get my rightful peace until Selene gets punished for her evil, because I died because of her. Also, I have to make sure Kid Razor has no more need of me. Once all those are gone, I can have my peace. I was ONE STEP away, until your little mountain-face buddy cruelly took that away from me and all of her victims!"

"Ronnie, I'm sure that's not what Benjamin intended." Reed defended. "He didn't mean to harm anyone. And Selene has been alive for centuries, Ronnie. Most of her victims would be dead today anyway."

"That's NOT THE POINT, RICHARDS!" Ronnie screamed. "She brutalized, tortured, and killed men, women, and children alike! And you want to know why? For power. Wealth. And even just for the hell of it! Selene is beyond redemption in my eyes. Kid Razor fought her for years, dammit! He fought her to stop her evil plans! She's done horrible things to him, and his friends over the years, Richards! She watched me and smirked at me as I laid dying in an English field! And you expect me to FORGIVE HER? You expect Kid Razor to just forgive? You expect SONIC BLUE to forgive her? After all she'd done to them?" A tear fell down Ronnie's eye. "She got away with murder! For centuries! It's not fair, Richards! It's not fair!" Reed gave Ronnie a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry, Ronnie. I truly am." Reed sighed apologetically. "I wish there was something I could do."

"The Fantastic Four had done enough." Ronnie growled in a hard voice. "_More_ than enough." He turned around. "I thought you guys believed in justice. That's what heroes believe in, right? Justice for all. But what about the dead? Don't the dead get justice? I guess not." He disappeared in a flash of blue light.

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"RELEASE ME AT ONCE! AS PRINCESS OF TORAC, I **DEMAND** YOU RELEASE ME AT ONCE!" Ramada screamed. The space princess was being held back by Sonic Blue and Frog-Man.

"Ramada, please! Calm down!" Altoc, a small floating disco ball-like orb, tried to calm his charge. "They're only trying to stop you from hurting somebody!"

"And failing miserably. Geez, she's strong!" Frog-Man grunted. The three heroes had decided to break up the fight between Ramada and Steppenwolf.

"Alright, Wolf-Boy." Razor grunted, unwrapping the alien wolf-like warrior from a streetlamp. "What's with the unexpected appearance?"

"Why that is simple." Steppenwolf explained. He pulled out a mirror from is armor. "Is my face too badly damaged?"

"You're still ugly, pal." Razor sneered.

"In _your_ opinion." Steppenwolf scoffed. "Anyway, I came to hopefully take the lovely Princess Ramada as my bride."

"Key word: Hopefully." Ramada scowled. "I have heard of you, Steppenwolf. Do _not_ take me for a fool. I heard you do have great skills as a warrior, but you are also arrogant and vain."

"Much like Kid Razor back in his early days." Spencer snickered, earning himself a glare from Razor. "Oh please Razor, we all know how much you like looking at yourself in the mirror."

"Hey, the Kid of Rock has to make sure his looks are at their best 24 hours a day. You know how it is with the super-chicks." Razor shrugged.

"Oh yes, you can't walk into Avengers Mansion or the Xavier Institute without getting mauled by superheroines." Spencer rolled his blue eyes.

"What?" Razor blinked.

"Either way, Steppenwolf…I have already chosen my future mate." Ramada smirked. She took Razor by the arm.

"Lucky me." Razor grumbled. A lightbulb then went off in Razor's head. "Say Ramada…"

"Yes, beloved?"

"Maybe you should…" Razor started.

"Oh, no." Spencer muttered. "Can I talk to you, Razor?" Spencer grabbed the super-rocker and dragged him off to the side.

"Hey, watch the threads, man!" Razor snapped.

"Razor, are you trying to pawn Ramada off to the Wolfman from Space over there?" Spencer deduced.

"Come on, she drives the Kid of Rock crazy sometimes. Do I _look_ like someone who can settle down right now?" Razor groaned.

"Still, dude…" Spencer groaned. "You can't go around pawning off Ramada. She's a human…Okay, she's not human, but still…"

"Sometimes, she acts like a lovesick puppy, Spencer. It disgusts the Kid of Rock." Razor grunted.

"She just likes you, man." Spencer chuckled. "She can't help it. You say it yourself, man. Chicks dig you."

"This coming from the man who is being chased by a crazy immortal Asgardian blonde." Razor smirked.

"Oh, stop." Spencer groaned, rolling his eyes. "You're no help, you know that?" Meanwhile Steppenwolf and Ramada were talking.

"Ramada, why…" Steppenwolf glanced at Razor. "…Him?" Ramada smirked.

"He is perfect as a mate. His eyes show a fire within him." Ramada explained. "He is fearless, and his will in battle is quite astounding for an Earthman." Steppenwolf glared at Razor.

**(1) - See "Uncanny Four"**

**_Next: Steppenwolves of _****_Cleveland_**_ In an effort to prove that Kid Razor is not worthy of Ramada, the arrogant alien challenges Razor to a battle. Hoo boy…_


	33. Steppenwolves of Cleveland!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Rule number one: I'm number one." - David Spade as Joe Dirt, Meet Joe Dirt**

**_Chapter 33: Steppenwolves of _****_Cleveland_**

**A Hospital in ****Cleveland**

"Leave me alone!" Sergeant Harold Polanski snapped. He threw his trenchcoat over his hospital gown and tried to leave the room.

"NO!" Sgt. Amanda Briscoe and a doctor yelled, jumping on him and trying to hold him back.

"You need your rest, Harold!" Briscoe begged. "You just went through quite an ordeal."

"No big deal! You know who I meet on a regular basis?" Polanski grumbled as he tried to step forward.

"Yes. A coma can be a traumatizing experience." The doctor tried to explain.

"Oh, please!" Polanski scoffed. "You're taking to a man who got wedgied by Kid Razor in front of Captain America!"

"He did?" The doctor turned to Briscoe. The blonde woman nodded.

"Yup." Briscoe nodded. "Razor also once dumped a bucket of slime on Henry Peter Gyrich, and then glued a donkey head on him and poked a fake donkey tail onto his butt. It was pretty funny."

"Wow." The doctor blinked.

**A hall in the Pentagon**

A grumbling Henry Peter Gyrich stomped down a hall. An intern walked by and grinned.

"Hey weren't you the guy that got a donkey's head plastered over his own by Kid Razor?" The intern grinned. Gyrich snarled as he turned around, baring his gritting teeth. His face was a red as his crew cut hair. The intern gulped.

"YOU GET OUT OF MY FACE ABOUT THE DONKEY HEAD OR I SWEAR TO GOD, I WILL TAKE A CHAINSAW TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, YOU MEALY-MOUTHED PUNK!" Gyrich roared in rage. The intern screamed like a little girl and ran away.

"MAAAAAAMAAAAAAA!"

**Elsewhere in ****Cleveland**

"You really believe that overly flashy loudmouth is a good choice for a mate, my princess?" Steppenwolf grunted.

"Yes!" Ramada grinned widely. "He's a very strong warrior with a will of iron." Steepenwolf sneered at Kid Razor. Razor smirked back.

"What's the matter, Wolfman?" Razor smirked. "You jealous or something?"

"Oh yeah, he's real jealous." Spencer drawled sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "He hates you _so_ much because you're _so_ much more awesome than he is."

"You want me to sic a certain blonde Asgardian on you, Burton?" Razor teased with a grin. Spencer groaned, redness creeping up on his cheeks. "The Kid of Rock knew it! You been rockin' her Midgard!"

"Shut up! I have not!" Spencer groaned.

"And I thought that rumor I heard about Paige Guthrie was funny." Frog-Man snickered.

"What rumor? No one tells the Kid of Rock nothing." Razor blinked. "Oh wait, you mean that rumor about Paige and the cowboy hat?" Eugene nodded. "Oh yeah, the Kid of Rock heard about that."

"Oh, man…" Spencer groaned. Frog-Man snickered.

"Man, I'm glad I came here. Cleveland's a great place to go to for a laugh." The young green-armored hero chuckled. A tarred-and-feathered man ran by screaming, who was being chased by some old ladies. Eugene blinked at the scene in confusion. "Oh-kay…" Razor shook his head.

"Welcome to Cleveland, Eugene." Razor chuckled.

"Kid Razor!" Steppenwolf crowed, marching up to the Ultimate Rockstar. Razor turned to the wolf-like red-armored alien warrior.

"You got a problem, Wolfman?" Razor smirked.

"I wish to challenge you." Steppenwolf explained.

"Oh, no…" Ramada groaned. "That loser Steppenwolf really believes he can usurp Razor as my future mate?"

"He is quite a fighter, Ramada." Altoc remembered. "He did go ten rounds with you."

"Yes, but I found his vanity annoying." Ramada snorted.

"You wanna challenge the Kid of Rock? The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll? The Heavy Metal Heartbreaker? The Rock 'n' Roll Warrior?" Razor laughed. "Why? What's in it for you if I beat your ass?"

"We fight for Ramada!" Steppenwolf growled.

"You can **have** her, man." Razor snorted, crossing his arms.

"I would, but the problem is, she wants _you_ as her mate." Steppenwolf grunted. He activated his energy mace.

"You better watch where you put that thing. You might accidentally cave in someone's skull." Razor joked.

"If I defeat you, she will see that _I_ am more worthy to be her mate." Steppenwolf snarled.

"Man, I'm glad that I'm the object of affections of an Asgardian. Aliens are too much of a hassle." Spencer snickered.

"Why do I get the feeling that being chased by an alien chick should happen to a guy who comes from a planet that shares a name with something from the Periodic Table?" Eugene wondered.

"Probably just you." Spencer shrugged.

"Kid Razor, I demand you answer my challenge!" Steppenwolf snapped.

"Razor, I think it would be a great way to show him why I have chosen you for my future husband." Ramada grinned.

"Oh, brother…" Razor rolled his eyes. He glanced at Steppenwolf. "You _really_ want me to whup you, punk?"

"I wish to battle you." Steppenwolf took a fighting stance. "I will prove that in fighting skills, and in looks, I am greater than you and more worthy of Ramada." Razor sighed.

"Alright. If you insist." Razor sighed. "But remember this Easy Rider, the Kid of Rock is only fighting you because he wants to beat you silly, not because of Ramada. So, I would appreciate it if you didn't take this personally." Razor then suddenly lashed out with a Power of Rock-charged punch, nailing Steppenwolf right across the mouth, sending the wolf-like alien flying into a car.

"Argh!" Steppenwolf screamed. The alien warrior grunted and looked at himself in the car's side mirror. He gasped as he discovered that he had a cut on his cheek from a glass shard. "You…cut…me. You've wrecked my face!"

"Geez, and they say _I'm_ vain." Razor rolled his eyes. "Did he mess up my hair, guys?"

"No." Spencer and Eugene shrugged.

"Cool." Razor nodded. With a roar, Steppenwolf started to charge a smirking Razor. The Ultimate Rockstar charged up his fists with the Power of Rock. He was guessing that Steppenwolf's armor would make regular uncharged punches ineffective. After all, Razor did not have super strength.

"You ruined my face, Razor! Now it's personal!" Steppenwolf snarled. He moved to chop Razor's neck, but the teenage rocker blocked it and hit the wolf-like alien warrior in the jaw with a hard right cross.

"Gotta do better than that." Razor smirked.

"I will!" Steppenwolf roared and threw a jab. Razor blocked and went for another cross.

"Nice try!" Razor mocked. Steppenwolf ducked, and hit Razor with a gut shot. "Unh…let me knock some brain cells out of place for ya!" Razor grunted and smashed Steppenwolf with a headbutt. He then threw a wild swing which Steppenwolf blocked, then kneed Razor in the gut again. "AWWW!"

"Hah!" Steppenwolf laughed. "You humans are pathetic fighters!" Razor answered that with a gut shot of his own. The brawl then got very ugly.

"Should we intervene or something?" Eugene blinked. Spencer shrugged.

"Hey Ramada!" Spencer called. "Should we give Razor a hand or something?" Ramada looked up at Spencer and shook her head.

"No." Ramada answered simply. "Razor must beat Steppenwolf alone."

**_Next: Full Moon Fever!_**_ Kid Razor and Steppenwolf brawl in the streets of Cleveland!_


	34. Full Moon Fever!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "They took our jobs!"**

**_Chapter 34: Full Moon Fever!_**

**Central Park, ****New York**** City**

On a bench, a man dressed in a suit and tie sat down, reading the newspaper. His appearance was rather unusual, considering his skin and his short hair appeared to be gold in color. His civilian name was Mark Raxton, but he was also known as the Molten Man, a part-time member of the British-based super-team Excalibur.

"Hello, Molten Man." The gold-skinned man looked up and saw Amora standing before him. Unusually for the Asgardian, she was dressed in a green turtleneck sweater and blue jeans. The clothes still showed her curvaceous figure.

"I thought you were in Cincinnati, tormenting that Sonic Blue kid." The golden-skinned man chuckled. The sorceress took a seat next to him. "You look like something is really bothering you."

"What made you say that?" Amora wondered.

"Well, for one, you're wearing an outfit that doesn't show any skin." Raxton joked. Amora rolled her eyes. "But seriously, what's bothering you?"

"Well, you doth know well that we do not agree much." Amora nodded.

"Mm-hmm." Mark nodded. "I'm not really into the whole magic thing. I'm a scientist at heart."

"Yay, but I hast not come here about that." Amora sighed. "I hast made…a most terrible mistake."

"Let me guess." Raxton smirked. "You used your magic kiss on the kid, and it caused the kid to fall for you, but that wasn't really how you wanted to win his heart." Amora blinked in surprise.

"Art thou some kind of clairvoyant?"

"Nah." Raxton shrugged, still reading his paper. "That's the rep you have, Amora." The blonde shrugged.

"Thou hast a point, Raxton." Amora nodded. "I doth not know what to do."

"Don't look at me." Raxton nodded. "I haven't had a whole _lot_ of success getting dates since I became a walking gold bar. And the women I do date are more interested in the Molten Man than Mark Raxton. Not to mention I can't have a decent, intelligent conversation with them."

**A fancy restaurant in Cleveland**

Classical-style music permeated the air. Rich people, dressed in fancy clothes, eating fancy food, and drinking fancy wine, were sitting at the tables. They were talking about stuff rich people talked about in Cleveland: Money, and fancy stuff.

**_KABLAM!_**

A hole got blown in one wall, and someone flew through it.

"ARGH!" The alien wolf-like warrior known as Steppenwolf screamed as he flew through the hole, only to slam into a table. The table collapsed under the sudden addition of weight, and he got covered in filet mignon and white wine. The sight caused the rich couple sitting there to flee for their lives.

"Oh my God!" The man yelled. "They let riff-raff in!"

"Run, dear!" His wife exclaimed.

"Yech…" Steppenwolf growled as he got to his feet. "My armor and hair are filthy! Oh well, such is the price to pay for a battle."

"Has anyone ever told you that you should shut up?" A familiar voice laughed. Steppenwolf looked up and saw Kid Razor charge at him. "Here, let the Kid of Rock give you a break!" Before the wolf-like alien could react in any way, Razor speared him back into the broken table and started punching his face. "Maybe a black eye or two will help enhance your pretty looks." Steppenwolf snarled and kicked Razor off. The two started grappling. They grappled to the orchestra, and they threw each other into it. Sonic Blue zipped up to the hole.

"Whoa!" The young armored speedster gaped at the hole. Ramada flew up to the hole and looked at it. She was soon followed by a hopping Frog-Man.

"Razor is quite destructive, isn't he?" Frog-Man noted.

"No kidding." Spencer groaned. "You should've seen him during Captain America's last birthday party."

**Avengers ****Mansion****, Cap's last birthday**

The mansion was decorated with balloons and bunting, and a big banner that had "HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVE!" written on it.

"It's been a lovely day." The Scarlet Witch smiled at the party.

"Oh yeah!" The She-Hulk grinned, holding up a pair of wine bottles. She was dressed in a toga. "More wine! Hey Hercules, you gotta take me up to Olympus at some point!" Wanda rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile.

"And I thought the She-Hulk couldn't get drunk." Wanda chuckled.

"Great party, Cap!" Hawkeye laughed as he was talking with Spider-Man, who was drinking soda.

"Yup." Spidey grinned under his mask. Steve Rogers, Captain America, smiled.

"Thank you." He smiled. "Man, I was so worried about this party."

"See? I told you! Nothing could go wrong today!" Hawkeye grinned. Suddenly, part of the front wall of Avengers Mansion collapsed because what appeared to be a fire truck smashed its way into the house.

"You had to open your mouth, huh Barton?" Spidey snickered, earning himself a glare from Hawkeye.

"Okay, you can't pin _that_ on me!" She-Hulk suddenly piped up. "I did _not_ know about that!"

"Who brought a fire truck in here?" Cap groaned. He got his answer when he saw a certain blond mane peek out of the front door window of the truck. The kid looked around, then scrunched his painted face.

"Hey!" Kid Razor exclaimed. "This ain't Miami! The Kid of Rock _knew_ he should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque!"

**Cleveland****, present day**

"HA!" Razor and Steppenwolf pitched each other into the bandstand.

"I shall prove to you that you are unworthy of Princess Ramada." Steppenwolf growled.

"Dude. I don't care." Razor sighed. "You can have her and do whatever. The Kid of Rock just wanted to fight." Steppenwolf grabbed a violin and swung it at Razor. However, the Kid of Rock's superhumanly quick reflexes and reaction time kicked in. Razor easily dodged and rolled out of the way. He then grabbed a violin and smashed it in Steppenwolf's face.

"Ouch!" Spencer winced. He saw Steppenwolf swing at Razor with a cello. "I hope that wasn't a Stradivarius." The three young heroes were wincing and retching as they watched the fight.

"A what?" A confused Ramada blinked. "What is this Str-at-i-vad-ius?"

"Stradivarius." Spencer repeated. "Stradivarius was an instrument maker. They're very valuable and rare these days."

"They all have names." Frog-Man grinned.

"Anyone who's ever seen a Timothy Dalton Bond flick would know that." Spencer rolled his eyes. **(1)**

"They're leaving." Ramada pointed out. Spencer's eyes widened.

"Uh oh! They're heading towards the police station!"

"Oh boy." Frog-Man winced. "This won't be pretty."

**The local police station**

Two officers were talking at a water cooler.

"So then I said to this chick, I know a superhero. I know Kid Razor." One of the cops smirked.

**_CRASH!_**

"SWEET JEEZUS!" The cops screamed as Razor flew through the wall behind them.

"AUGH!" The Kid of Rock landed on a desk, breaking it in half. "Oh, the Kid of Rock may not get a broken spine, but he's going to be sore in the morning."

"YAAAAAHH!" Steppenwolf leapt in and tried to smash Razor with a bodyslam. Razor rolled out of the way, and the wolf alien ended up eating broken desk. He staggered to his feet, only to get clotheslined by Razor.

"Ten bucks on Razor!" One cop yelled. The others started taking bets. The brawl continued. An elevator door opened, revealing a growling Sgt. Polanski, dressed in his hospital gown and trenchcoat, marched out. He noticed the scene.

"What the hell AGH!" Steppenwolf and Razor collided into him. The three fell back into the elevator and continued trading punches. Polanski's screaming was heard from the elevator as it went down.

"HEY WHAT'RE YOU DOING OW STOP OW STOP THIS OW STOP THIS RIGHT NOW HEY WATCH IT **_AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!_**"

**(1) - It's a reference to the Bond film "The Living Daylights".**

**_Next: Will This Fight Ever End?_**_ Sonic Blue, Ramada, and Frog-Man ponder that very question as the brawl between Razor and Steppenwolf continues!_


	35. Will This Fight Ever End?

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You want an explanation? God. Is. Pissed." - Brian the Dog, Family Guy**

**_Chapter 35: Will this Fight Ever End?_**

**A police precinct station in Cleveland**

"Ohhhh…" Sgt. Polanski's voice could be heard moaning from the elevator. "Don't tell me I got to go _back_ to the hospital…"

**A nearby park**

"Here you go, guys." Spencer Allen Burton, the teenage blue-armored speedster known as Sonic Blue, held a box up to his two friends. One was a slightly chubby kid around 19 or 20, dressed in green armor with a frog-like theme. He had removed his helmet, revealing a head of curly red hair. His name was Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man. The other appeared to be a teenage Hispanic girl with black-and-blonde hair, dressed in a yellow-and-gold costume. She was actually an alien girl named Ramada. She was the reason the two were out here. Ramada and Eugene were sitting on a park bench, watching a brawl between Kid Razor, Cleveland's own super-powered fearless teenage rocker, and Steppenwolf, a flamboyant wolf-like alien warrior who came to Earth to hopefully win Ramada as his bride. However, when he found out that Ramada intended to have Razor as her husband, Steppenwolf immediately challenged Razor to a fight for Ramada's hand. Razor accepted, but only because he wanted to beat up somebody. He'd been feeling some frustrations with the Fantastic Four, and he was _itching_ to take them out on _somebody._ **(1)**

"They're still at it." Eugene reported as he pulled an ice cream cone out of the box. Ramada pulled out her one.

"I have quite enjoyed it, to be honest with you." Ramada grinned as she took out her ice cream cone. "It is one of the most wonderful spectacles I have ever seen."

"Those two have been brawling for _hours._" Eugene added. "You got to admit, the fight's had its moments. Like when it went into an electronics store…"

"Oh yeah." Spencer remembered. "I never saw anyone do _that_ with a television…"

**An electronics store in ****Cleveland****, earlier**

"Uhn…" Razor moaned. He and Steppenwolf were struggling to get to their feet. The store around them was a wreck. Razor eyed a television and picked it up. "Heh…" With a smirk, he pulled the TV, a small black box-like TV. "Hey Wolfman!" Steppenwolf turned to Razor. The Ultimate Rockstar took the opportunity. He pitched the TV at the wolf-like alien. The next act was an incredible combination of timing, luck, and showmanship. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll turned his body as the television knocked into Steppenwolf's face. He then kicked up his leg in his classic superkick. With a **_CRASH_**, Razor superkicked the home appliance right into the wolf-like alien's face.

**The park**

"Yes, that move he did was quite impressive." Ramada nodded. "What is that move called again?"

"A superkick." Spencer reminded. "It's kind of Razor's finisher. A lot of villains have fallen to a Power of Rock-charged version of it Razor calls the Rockstar Superkick."

"A lot of heroes, too." Eugene snickered. "Did he once nail Captain America with it on a talk show?"

"Yeah." Spencer nodded. "Cap was on a show talking about the Avengers when Razor crashed it. And you know how it went, Razor gets in Cap's face. You know, Razor accuses Cap of not caring about anyone in Middle America, and Cap trying not to punch Razor's jaw off, blah blah blah superkick."

"My beloved always has his people in mind." Ramada smiled like a fangirl.

"Yup." Spencer chuckled. "You gotta give Razor credit for one thing: He's a loyal Clevelandite. And of course, Steppenwolf learned that the hard way…"

**City Hall, earlier**

"Grr…"Steppenwolf picked up a flagpole that had Ohio's state flag on it. He took a swing at Razor, who was getting to his feet. Razor noticed the flag…and the Ultimate Rocker saw red.

"PUT THAT FLAG BACK, YOU FURRY FREAK!" Razor nailed Steppenwolf with a Heavy Metal Punch. As he flew, Steppenwolf dropped the flag. Razor caught it before it touched the ground. He pit it back where it was and gave it a salute.

**The park**

"RAAAAAAAAAH!" Steppenwolf's cry was heard.

"Take a seat!" Razor dodged the charge, causing Steppenwolf to smash his shoulder into a park bench. The bench toppled, causing him to flip over and land on his back. "Heh. You suck! Some warrior! The Kid of Rock's had better fights with drunks!"

"There he goes again." Eugene shook his head. "I guess Razor will never stop running his mouth."

"Razor without a big mouth is like Husk without a cowboy hat. It's not quite right." Spencer chuckled.

"I don't understand. Who is Husk, and what is a cowboy hat?" Ramada blinked.

"We'll tell you when you're older, Ramada." Eugene teased.

"How long have Razor and Steppenwolf been fighting?" Spencer wondered to himself out loud as he looked at his gauntlet, which had a clock display on it. "Whoa. I knew Razor could last a long time in a fight, but that's very impressive." Eugene looked at the display.

"Wow. I don't think even _Wolverine_ could last that long in a fight." Eugene whistled in an impressed manner.

"I think Razor's having too much fun to really care about how long the fight has gone." Spencer pointed at the Kid of Rock and Roll, who had just dodged a swipe of the energy mace from Steppenwolf and nailed him in the gut with his guitar. **(2)**

"So, where has the brawl taken them again?" Ramada tried to remember the whole thing.

"The police station…" Spencer counted off on his fingers.

"Where they fought in an elevator that Polanski guy was in." Eugene commented.

"A couple fancy restaurants…"

"Where they beat each other over the heads with violins."

"A hospital…"

"Where Razor knocked Steppenwolf onto a stretcher and pushed him down several flights of stairs." Eugene commented with a nod. "Oh yeah, I heard rumors that several of the X-Women may be getting visits from a certain bird…"

"The Kid of Rock ain't surprised!" The three young heroes heard Razor comment. "With all the stuff the Kid of Rock has heard that goes down at that place, it had to happen sometime!"

"What bird? And what is the significance of said bird?" A confused Ramada blinked.

"We'll tell you some other time." Spencer answered Ramada's question. "A college campus…"

"Where Steppenwolf accidentally blew up a science lab thanks to his energy mace being near several flammable and explosive chemicals."

"A nightclub…"

"Where Razor and Steppenwolf used neon signs to electrocute each other."

"A biker bar…"

"Where Razor and Steppenwolf started brawling with the patrons as well as each other…and they ran each other over with motorcycles."

"A photography studio…"

"We got some great pictures of the fight."

"A news station…"

"Broke the monotony."

"Avengers Mansion…"

"I wonder how they got there…and Cap was sure happy to see them." Eugene snickered. "Not to mention both Razor and 'Wolf got a great view of the Wasp."

"A supermarket…" Spencer continued on.

"I've seen food fights, but nothing like that." Eugene shook his head with a smile.

"A Cineplex…"

"Boy, it sure was funny seeing what Razor did to 'Wolf with the popcorn machine." Eugene snickered.

"Look…they're standing off…" Ramada whispered. Standing in the middle of the park were Razor and Steppenwolf. They were standing in fighting positions, facing each other. Steppenwolf was in a position like a baseball player, holding his red energy mace like a baseball bat. Kid Razor was standing like a samurai, holding his enchanted guitar like a katana. Their looks dared each other to make the first move. Razor broke the silence with a "Heh" and a smirk.

"Hey Wolfman, this fight's been fun." Razor smirked.

"I concur." Steppenwolf agreed. "This fight has been one of the most…unusual fights I've ever been involved in."

"You should try taking on a few other heroes here." Razor quipped. "The Kid of Rock knows a few good fighters among them. Try this guy called Wolverine. He's hairy and ugly as hell, but he can take a hit and bring it to you."

"Indeed." Steppenwolf smirked. He got out of his stance and turned off his mace. "This is the first time I have ever done this."

"He is conceding." Ramada noted.

"He's giving up." Eugene blinked.

"About time you realized how great I am." Kid Razor smirked, being humble like always.

"Yes, well…" Steppenwolf nodded. "I have never met a warrior quite like you."

"Razor is very unique." Ramada smiled.

"Thank God." Spencer and Eugene chorused.

"I believe that Ramada chose well for her mate after all." Steppenwolf nodded. Razor rolled his eyes.

"Dude, you can _have_ her! Have fun with her! Take her on a space cruise! I just wanted to fight somebody." Razor groaned.

**_Next: Turn Up The Radio!_**_ Kid Razor, Longshot, and the Molten Man are invited to talk on an English radio show about Excalibur. But the Ultimate Rockstar also wants to speak his mind. Hoo boy._

**(1) - See "Uncanny Four" for the reasons why Razor's been having problems…well, more problems than usual with the First Family of Superheroes.**

**(2) - Because of its enchanted nature, Kid Razor's guitar is indestructible.**


	36. Turn Up The Radio!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I'm glad you got a giggle out of that. Actually, to get the whole reason behind the Husk/cowboy hat jokes, read Uncanny R-Man's "Uncanny XSE". That story and this one are in the same universe. It explains the whole thing. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Fourteenth Century Man", and "Gifts and Curses"._

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, an English radio station is going to do something incredibly bloody insane: Give Razor a microphone. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I was glad to use it and mention your other stuff. This story is part of that universe, after all. I'm not sure how Razor would react to August, but I'm sure he'd get some good laughs from Lady Helen, and probably from Demona, too. I'd like to see Amora meet Demona, and clear up some of the misconceptions she has about Thor and Loki. Yeah, at least the fight is over. It was a funny one to do. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Razor and Steppenwolf just did what they did best: Fight. And whenever Kid Razor fights, weird things do happen sometimes. Razor's willing to brawl anywhere, and at any time. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Poor Razor, still the apple of the eye of Ramada. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Can we keep her?" - Michelangelo on April O'Neil, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles**

**_Chapter 36: Turn Up The Radio!_**

**Seattle, ****Washington**

"_Baaaa-da-da-da-da_" A young voice sang out. It belonged to a teenage boy who flew past the Space Needle. The source was a sleek-bodied kid. He was dressed in a dark blue costume with a dark blue metallic chestplate with blue and silver highlights and matching metal forearm bands with built-in gauntlets. The bands had a pair of futuristic blasters mounted on them. The back of the chestplate was attached to a futuristic-looking jetpack. The jetpack had jointed silver metallic bird-like wings that occasionally flapped. The chest plate had a chest emblem of a blue "W" with silver wings. The costume was open at the top of the head, revealing curly black hair, and it had a pair of built-in blue visor-like goggles, covering dark brown eyes. "WHOO YEAH! **AOW!**" The boy cried out, doing a loop-de-loop. His name was Jeffrey Dutt, but in the superhero game, he was Winger, the defender of Seattle. Of mixed African-American/Indian descent, Winger was the son of a test pilot of an aviation company. Winger first donned the experimental winged jetpack/costume he now wears when he helped Kid Razor rescue his father from corporate rivals. In fact, it was Razor who first christened him Winger. The costume and jetpack allowed Winger to live his dream of flight. The electronics in his costume picked up a transmission on he police band.

"All units, high-speed pursuit in progress."

"Alright!" Winger grinned. "Time for the King of the Skies to protect his people! OH YEAH!" The cocky fun-loving young hero dived downwards to street level. A car raced down the street, pursued by several police cars belonging to Seattle's Finest. A criminal peeked out of the car and looked up.

"Oh my God! Fellas! It's that metal-feathered windbag Winger!" He warned loudly.

"Blast that jerkoff right out of the sky!" The driver snapped. The criminal pulled out a futuristic bazooka, and starting blasting at Winger with golden energy bursts. Winger easily dodged them. When one was about to hit him, a dark blue aura appeared around his body, dispersing the blast.

"Nice try, fellas! But in the air, Winger rules!" Winger laughed. He pointed his blasters at the back of the car, with help from an aiming system in his goggles, and he fired a pair of white energy beams from his blasters. The blasters hit the tear tires of the crooks' getaway car, causing them to blow out, and the car to skid to a stop. "Alright, now for the big landing!" Winger grinned.

**_WHAM!_**

"WHAAAA!" Winger screamed as a repulsor ray hit him in his aura-protected side.

**A radio station in London, England**

"Alright! Thank you very much!" An English DJ who appeared to be dressed up like a hippie hooted into a microphone. "Hello, London! Welcome to the Mad Ian Interview Hour! I am Mad Ian, and I'd like to welcome three very special guests to me show!" The three guests were sitting at a table, in front of microphones, and all were wearing headphones.

"I still don't understand why _we're_ here. We're reserve members of Excalibur." A blond man in a black uniform whispered to his companion. His black-gloved hands revealed he had three fingers (not counting thumbs) on each hand. The uniform had a yellow eight-pointed star on his left breast, black boots, and a sash filled with daggers. His name was Longshot, an extradimensional stuntman and former X-Man with the power to give himself good luck.

"I think Meggan wants to give us some exposure." A gold-skinned man answered. He was dressed in a nice suit. Born scientist Mark Raxton, he was known as the Molten Man, a former enemy of Spider-Man, but he reformed years ago and occasionally helped the wall-crawler. His gold skin made him very difficult to grasp, as well as very strong and durable, and he could generate intense heat and flame. He was constantly adjusting his headphones because they kept trying to slip off his head.

"Meh." Razor shrugged. "The Kid of Rock can't complain. He loves giving interviews."

"With me, I have three reserve members of the newest incarnation of England's resident super-team: Excalibur!" Mad Ian whooped. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Longshot…"

"Nice to be here." Longshot waved.

"The Molten Man…"

"Greetings." Raxton nodded.

"And of course, Cleveland, USA's very own Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor."

"Thank you, thank you." Razor chuckled. "Great to be here. Can the Kid of Rock get paid now?" Mad Ian chuckled.

"Yeah, we heard about your interviews, Razor. They are legendary. Anyway, how do you guys like England so far?"

"Very nice country." Raxton smiled. "This country seems to fit all three of us in a way. For me, it was very wonderful seeing all the museums."

"The Kid of Rock's always loved England." Razor chuckled. "How can the Kid of Rock hate England? England gave the world Iron Maiden, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Queen, Judas Priest, it's all good!"

"I'm glad to be _anywhere_ besides my home." Longshot answered. "I had a bad time there."

"No kidding." Razor rolled his eyes. "The Kid of Rock's asked around."

"And how do you guys feel about being members of Excalibur?" Mad Ian inquired.

"Being a member of a super-team is not a new experience for me." Longshot answered. "I was once in the X-Men."

"Speaking of X-Men, the Kid of Rock once heard a rumor about Husk and Archangel and the cowboy hat." Razor snickered.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Longshot shrugged with a chuckle, crossing his arms. "Things can get pretty crazy in that mansion." Raxton scrunched his golden face.

"Isn't that Husk girl a little young for that kind of activity?"

"She's a little older than _me._" Razor grunted. "And to answer your question Ian, the Kid of Rock was never really into super-teams, to be honest. He was always more concerned about protecting his hometown from the bad guys."

"This is actually my first time in _any_ super-team in _any_ capacity." Raxton answered. "We're reserve members. That means that if the main active members of Excalibur need help, they can contact us. I helped out during the whole thing with Dormammu, but that's really been it for me since." **(1)**

"Dormammu?" Mad Ian blinked.

"Some jackass who eats dimensions." Razor smirked. "Made him cry like a little girl."

"I…see…" Mad Ian blinked.

"I wasn't there for that one." Longshot grinned. "I joined up afterward."

"And speaking of you, Mr. Shot…" Ian started.

"It's just Longshot." Longshot corrected.

"Is it true that you are dating the singer Alison Blaire, the Dazzler?"

"You can hear her screaming his name all the way across the damn pond." Razor snickered. "And you don't even _need_ to have superhuman hearing."

"Oh, shut up Razor." Longshot groaned. "You know, a lot of super-teams don't want Razor in their ranks."

"They're just jealous because the Kid of Rock is so cool." Razor grinned smugly.

"No. Female members don't like the fact that you never look at their faces when you talk to them." Raxton quipped.

"Oh yeah, like you didn't get ideas when you see the Scarlet Witch in that red gypsy outfit of hers." Razor rolled his eyes with a laugh and a smile.

"Not to mention your infamous mouth and your tendency to take the spotlight." Longshot added.

"The Kid of Rock is all about stealin' the thunder, baby!" Razor laughed. "And the Kid of Rock is one of those people who always speaks his mind."

"No matter _who_ you annoy in the process." Raxton rolled his eyes.

**_Next: What's Going On Here?_**_ In __Seattle__ and __Cincinnati__, Winger, Sonic Blue, and Frog-Man get attacked by what appears to be members of the East and West Coast Avengers. Is something sinister behind it?_

**(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"**


	37. What's Going On Here?

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To marco carbera: Hey there, marco! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I do plan for a crossover in another one of my fics. I'm not a fan of Ranma myself. I prefer Dragonball Z and the Transformers shows. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, Longshot does rock. Thank R-Man. He brought Longshot back from limbo in "Uncanny Excalibur". Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses" and "Fourteenth Century Man"!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh, man! I completely freakin' forgot about Ozzy and Sabbath! Man, do I feel embarrassed and stupid. Yeah, the interview was funny. You really believe that Razor would keep his mouth shut about that whole Paige-Warren-cowboy hat thing? Winger was another fun idea that popped into my head. As for the attacks, think about something a certain medieval sorceress had said earlier… Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter. Yup, just the random insanity that seems to follow Razor everywhere he goes. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait to read more from you!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I've been toying with Winger for a while before I thought of introducing him. Oh yeah, Razor on the radio is guaranteed insanity. Well, since Razor's not really part of the established teams, he's looked around for new heroes to team up with. Since he came about, a lot more heroes have appeared on the scene, protecting their home cities, and they're all called "Local Heroes" or simply "Locals" for short. Actually, Spencer has sorted out that problem with Amora in "Uncanny Excalibur". Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Spooooooooooon!" - The Tick**

**_Chapter 37: What's Going On Here?_**

**London, ****England**

"Well, _that_ went very well." Mark Raxton, the golden-skinned heat-generating scientist/part-time superhero called the Molten Man, sighed. He was sitting at a café, alongside Longshot.

"Ah well." Longshot shrugged, biting into a donut and reading a magazine. "At least it wasn't boring. With Kid Razor, nothing ever is."

"What I can't believe is what he said about the She-Hulk!" Raxton groaned.

"What?" Longshot blinked. "I always thought she had great legs, too."

"Yeah, but does he have to act like such a rude letch?" Raxton sighed. Longshot shrugged.

"It's Razor's thing." Longshot shrugged. "Razor's a superhero, but he likes to do it his way. I think it's just that Razor enjoys having fun. I've done this superhero stuff for a long time. And so has Razor. There are times when the business does get very tense. I think Razor's a breath of fresh air. He's a born showman. He makes the superhero life into an event. A battle between him and an opponent is like a match at WrestleMania." The extradimensional stuntman chuckled. "And you had to admit, he did have a point about the fashion industry."

"Yeah, I admit that." Raxton nodded. "I do think it _is_ all a bunch of BS, the whole obsession with what people wear."

**Seattle, ****Washington**

"Oh, my aching head…" Winger moaned as he got to his feet inside the office building he was blasted into. "Man, that was some hit. Luckily for me, I had my good ol' fashioned forcefield…" He looked around. "That looked like a repulsor ray that hit me. But, that's impossible. The only two people I know of that pack that kind of heat are Iron Man…"

"And me." An electronically-sounding voice finished. Winger looked up and saw what appeared to be a man dressed in black-and-grey Iron Man-like armor, only bulkier, and possessing a shoulder-mounted missile launcher and machine gun. Winger's eyes widened.

"Hey, you're War Machine!" Winger realized. "You're one of the West Coast Avengers! What're you doing here in Seattle, man? Something big, I bet."

"Yes." War Machine nodded. "Something big." He pointed his open hand at Winger. "Like clipping your fancy wings…permanently." He fired his repulsor at the young winged hero.

"Holy-!" Winger barely managed to roll out of the way of the repulsor ray in time. He immediately responded with a laser blast from both of his arm blasters. The beams hit the armored Avenger right in the chest, knocking him right out of the building. _What the hell?_ Winger thought. _What's going on here? Why is one of the Avengers attacking me? Something weird is going on here!_ He took to the air, flying after the armored hero. "What the hell, man? WHAT THE HELL, MAN?" He yelled angrily at the armored West Coast Avenger. "Do I look like the damn Mandarin or the freakin' Crimson Dynamo to you, you psychopath?" War Machine only opened fire on the young hero with his shoulder-mounted machine gun.

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

Meanwhile, while Winger was facing his own problems in his native Seattle, Cincinnati's own local heroes were relaxing. They were Spencer Burton and Eugene Patilio, known to the world respectively as Sonic Blue, the blue-armored Iron Speedster, and the Fabulous Frog-Man. The two guys were busy throwing a football in a park.

"Hey Spence, how's things between you and Amora?" Eugene teased, throwing the ball. He was clad in a New York Giants jersey and black shorts.

"Fine." Spencer groaned, catching the ball. He was dressed in a blue t-shirt and blue jean shorts. "I'll have you know that Amora is not chasing after me anymore."

"Trouble at home?"

"No, Gene." Spencer grunted. "She removed her enchantment over me and I think she turned herself mortal. **(1)** Now, I gotta help her adjust to it."

"Wonderful." Eugene shrugged. "I see you're one of those people that when you're an old man, you're going to look back on life, and see how crazy it was."

"Look who's talking." Spencer chuckled. "_You're_ the one who claimed that you were fabulous even before you got a rep. How many times did Spidey pull you out of the fire?"

"Not my fault. My old outfit screwed up a lot." Eugene rolled his eyes.

"And let's talk about your Rogues' Gallery." Spencer laughed. "I mean, I got Redfoot, Coldheart, Reflector, Mr. Fahrenheit, the Weatherman, and heck, I've faced off against that Aussie assassin Boomerang, and that green spinning Wasp-obsessed nut Whirlwind." **(2)**

"Yeah. That Mr. Fahrenheit has some real issues." Eugene nodded. "And that Weatherman is a real kook. The nut actually believes that he speaks for nature."

"And what does _your_ Rogues' Gallery have?" Spencer continued. "A kooky woman who looks like a Playmate, a moron with walrus powers and a matching costume, and…" **(3)**

"Hey, I took on the Yellow Claw and won once, huh?" Eugene muttered. "Besides, no one's perfect."

"Hey! Did you hear?" A kid ran up to the two heroes. "Something's going on downtown!"

"No problem." Eugene chuckled. "I'm sure Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man can handle it."

**Downtown ****Cincinnati****, some time later**

"I don't get it." Spencer, in his Sonic Blue armor, muttered to Eugene, dressed in his Frog-Man costume. "According to the bank owner, no one has tried to rob them."

"Why would anyone want to report a false robbery?" Eugene blinked.

"Get down!" Spencer snapped. He threw Eugene down to the ground, as a car flew into the wall behind them. "What was that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The Sensational She-Hulk appeared. Alongside her were her Avengers teammates, Iron Man and Yellowjacket. "We're putting you local heroes out of business."

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Ahhh, it's good to be home." Razor smiled to himself as the Ultimate Rockstar flew toward the Cleveland Mall. _And about damn time, too.__ Ol' Bobby Parkins promised to accompany Joanie to that new store._ Razor's face formed a scowl. _Joy._ Razor was about to land out at the back of the wall, when something big, and powerful, slammed into him in a football-style tackle. The impact sent Razor flying through a wall, landing in the lobby. "Holy Bon Jovi…" Razor muttered. He got to his feet, and saw the man who tackled him. The Ultimate Rockstar smirked.

"Ya owe me fer crashin' my wedding." The Thing growled.

**The Hellfire Club building, Manhattan**

Morgan Le Fey smirked as she watched the action on her crystal ball.

"It has begun…"

**_Next: Hero Brawl!_** _While the local heroes find themselves under assault from the __New York__ heroes, the __New York__ heroes find themselves under attack by…the local heroes? What's going on here?_

**(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"**

**(2) - Some ideas I've been working on for Sonic Blue villains. You can probably guess what inspired their creation.**

**(3) - Spencer is referring to respectively, the White Rabbit and the Walrus, minor Spidey villains that were really more of a joke than a threat.**


	38. Hero Brawl!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, Selene is no longer the Black Queen in the URM-Verse. In "Uncanny Four", she reformed and is now married to Ben Grimm. Morgan Le Fey is the new Black Queen. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, it's not that simple. Morgan Le Fey put a big wrinkle on it. This is more than just simply an overblown disagreement between the "Local Heroes" and the "__New York__ Heroes". Spencer and Eugene are becoming good running buddies. They're in the vein of Flash and __Elongated__Man.__ Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I read the new chapter of "Fourteenth Century Man" and I loved it! Wanda's an awesome blacksmith, and Forge getting knocked around is funny. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Fourteenth Century Man", "Mutants Make Good Cowboys", and "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, it's not quite Ben Grimm who is attacking Kid Razor…Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, we'll see what happens next with the local heroes. As far as Amora is concerned, you'll see her soon. Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Party on, ****Wayne****." - Dana Carvey as Garth Algar, ****Wayne****'s World**

**_Chapter 38: Hero Brawl!_**

**West Coast Avengers HQ, ****Malibu, ****California**

"_La la la la la laaaa…_" The orange-furred black-bikini-wearing superheroine called Tigra happily sang as she skipped down the hall. She skipped into the living room where she noticed Angelica Jones, the red-haired heat-wielder called Firestar, and James Rhodes, the armor-wearing hero called War Machine. They were watching television.

"Hey Greer." Angelica smiled at her friend.

"Hey, Tigra." James waved. "Why're you so happy?"

"Vincey is gonna take me out to dinner at that Indian restaurant downtown!" Tigra squealed.

"That's great!" Angelica grinned. "Vance and I were planning to go there tonight as well. We can have a double date!"

"Alright!" Tigra whooped, hi-fiving Angelica.

"We interrupt this program for a special report…" The television interrupted.

"Hey pipe down, you two." James told the two super-powered women.

"Seattle has been rocked today when one of the West Coast Avengers, the armored powerhouse known as War Machine, mysteriously attacked Seattle's local superhero, Winger." The television then started to air footage taken in Seattle of Winger and War Machine. "The self-proclaimed "King of the Skies", Winger has protected Seattle since the…"

"That's impossible!" James exclaimed in shock. "I've never even _been_ to Seattle!"

"And why would want to fight Winger?" Tigra blinked. "He's one of the local heroes."

"Yeah." Angelica nodded. "Nice kid. A little nuts, but he is a nice kid."

"There's always been a somewhat form of tension between the local heroes and the 'New York Heroes'." Tigra explained. "A lot of those local heroes come from cities that never have been visited by the likes of the Avengers. And some of those cities have super-powered populations."

"Like Cleveland." Angelica nodded. "And when there are problems with those superpowered folks, and the New York heroes can't help…"

"They end up on their own." James nodded. "Some of those cities get pretty ticked off about it. And when they get their own superheroes at last, they tend to take a very bad attitude towards New York heroes."

"From Razor, yeah." Angelica nodded.

"Don't get me started on **him!**" Tigra grumbled, crossing her arms.

"From Razor, you get that, but I never noticed it really from any of the other local heroes." Angelica finished. "I think they're great to have. They protect the places we and the others can't get to easily. It takes time for us to get to those places."

**_KABOOM!_**

"AIEEE!" The three yelled out as the wall exploded. What appeared to be a very very **_very_** ticked off Winger floated into the room.

"Hey War Machine, I bet you got a good laugh out of the little punk-out back in Seattle. Well, here's payback, punk!"

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Hey, Grimm! Have a drink on me!" Kid Razor snapped as he turned a hose on the Thing. The two heroes were brawling in the middle of the Cleveland Mall.

"AGH GLUG GLUG!" Ben yelled. The jet of water was able to push back the rock-skinned powerhouse slightly. "You punk!"

"Yeah, we all know what I think of your wife, jerkoff!" Razor cracked. He threw down the hose, and made a "come on" gesture. "Come on, you slate-skinned son of a…" Ben slammed into Razor like a football tackle. He was able to catch Razor in a bearhug. Razor screamed. His physical invulnerability prevented the Thing from crushing him, but it still hurt like a mother.

"Come on, ya little loudmouth!" Ben challenged. "Run yer mouth! Let's hear what witty remarks ya got about me an' my wife!"

"Your…wife…is…an…old…WITCH!" Razor snarled, eyes glowing with the Power of Rock. His head started to glow with the Power of Rock. Razor nailed Ben with a Power of Rock-charged headbutt. It forced Ben to release the young rocker. But Razor was knocked for a loop.

"Man, that was like headbutting concrete." Razor mumbled to himself. He looked at Ben and growled. "You say _I'm_ a loudmouth jerk? RAH!" Razor blasted Ben with a Power of Rock beam from his guitar. "The Kid of Rock wasn't the one who denied thousands of murdered souls their justice, you self-centered jackass!" _The Kid of Rock thinks something is wrong here. Why would the Thing come to __Cleveland__ by himself just to pick a fight with the Kid of Rock?_ Razor shrugged. _Ah, it don't matter. The Kid of Rock owes that jerk a pounding. Thanks to him, Selene's victims lost their rightful vengeance. And the Kid of Rock aims to make sure they **get it!**_

**Avengers Mansion, ****New York**

Hank Pym, aka Yellowjacket, whistled happily as he flipped over a couple burgers on a grill. Earth's Mightiest Heroes were enjoying a nice peaceful day by the pool. They were intent on enjoying this day, as days like this were rare in the superhero life.

"Ah, nothing like a nice barbeque on a great sunny day." Hank grinned.

"I agree…" Janet Van Dyne, aka the Wasp, nodded with a smile as she walked out to the grill. She put a plate full of burger buns and hot dog buns on the little shelf built into the grill. "It's a rarity that we can enjoy time like this."

"CANNONBALL!" Simon Williams, aka Wonder Man, crowed as he bounced off the diving board and cannonballed into the pool. "YEAH! WHO DA MAN?"

"SIMON!" The voice of Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, howled. "You drained the water out of the pool again!"

"Uh, heh heh…oops?" Simon chuckled nervously.

"He's got the maturity of an eight-year-old." Hank shook his head with a smile. Wasp laughed.

"Cut him some slack, Hank. He's Hollywood." Wasp chuckled.

"Nice work, bonehead." A tanning She-Hulk teased.

"Ahhh, shaddap." Wonder Man pouted playfully.

"Looks like we'll have to refill the pool again." Cap chuckled.

"AUGH!" Tony Stark ran by, being chased by Lady Helen. "Lemme alone, ya crazy Brit!"

"Come 'ere, ya sexy beast!" Lady Helen squealed.

"She knows what she wants." Wonder Man chuckled. The Avengers' fun was interrupted by two sonic blasts. The beams of blue sonic energy hit the ground in front of the relaxing Avengers. The heroes turned and saw an incensed Sonic Blue standing there, pointing his glowing gauntlets at them. An equally ticked Frog-Man was right next to him.

"Spencer?" She-Hulk blinked. "What's with the AGH!" Sonic Blue blasted her with a sonic beam, knocking her into a wall.

"Put the local heroes out of business, huh?" Spencer snarled at the Avengers. "I like to see you all try!"

**_Next: This Is Ridiculous!_**_ The __New York__ and Local Heroes battle each other in their hometowns under the watchful eye of Morgan Le Fey. But are the two groups of heroes **really** fighting each other?_


	39. This is Ridiculous!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Warriors…come out and play-yayyyyy…"**

**_Chapter 39: This Is Ridiculous!_**

**The Hellfire Club building, Manhattan, New York**

"This is marvelous! Simply _marvelous!_" Morgan Le Fey, the Hellfire Club's new Black Queen, laughed as she observed the action on her crystal ball. She saw what appeared to be the Local Heroes, mostly-young superheroes who protect their home cities, such as Kid Razor, Sonic Blue, and Winger, brawl with the New York Heroes, the more famous costumed adventurers based in New York, like the Avengers, and the X-Men. "It is working perfectly! Soon, the heroes will destroy each other, and nothing will be able to stand in my way!"

**Cincinnati, ****Ohio**

"AGH!" Spencer screamed as he was knocked through a window into a street, causing glass to fly everywhere. "Oh…Jenny, it's me! It's Spencer! Have you gone crazy?" Jennifer Walters, the green-skinned Amazon known as the She-Hulk, answered Spencer with merely a scream as she pitched a car at the blue-armored teenage speedster. "Yipe!" As quick as lightning, Spencer jumped to his feet and zipped out of the way, causing the car to hit the ground and explode. "Alright, Jenny. I didn't want to have to do this…" Spencer created a ball of sonic energy, and pitched it at a charging Jenny. The ball of blue energy hit the green-skinned woman right in the chest, blasting her backwards. Meanwhile, Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man, was also having a tough time. He was battling Yellowjacket and Iron Man.

"_Dammit_" Eugene hissed angrily as he leapt out of the way of one of Iron Man's repulsor blasts and fired a pair of his knockout darts at the Armored Avenger. Unfortunately, the darts only bounced off the armor. Not to mention that he was trying to swat away a flying Yellowjacket. "Get off me, you bumblebee wannabe! HEY!" His costume took a couple blasts of bio-electric energy from Yellowjacket. "YEOW! Those blasts smart, Pym! You psycho or something?"

"You local heroes are nothing but royal pains!" Yellowjacket snapped.

"And we've heard about you, Frog-Man." Iron Man groused. "Heard that you were nothing but a wannabe clown."

"Hey, my suit kept malfunctioning YEOW!" Frog-Man protested.

**Avengers ****Mansion**

"Good heavens!" Jarvis exclaimed as he dove behind a couch. Sonic Blue and Frog-Man were brawling with the Avengers. They were having a tough time. Frog-Man wasn't very well known by the Avengers, so he was constantly able to surprise them. Sonic Blue's speed frustrated the Earth's Mightiest Heroes, considering none of the current roster could match Spencer in speed.

"I can't hex him!" Wanda Maximoff, the Scarlet Witch, exclaimed in frustration. "He's too fast for my hexbolts OOF!" She received a dropkick from Frog-Man.

"We're **tired** of you New Yorkers disrespecting us!" Frog-Man snarled. "We all looked up to you! We all do the exact same thing you guys do! We've all helped keep the world safe!" He dodged bio-electric blasts from Wasp and Yellowjacket. "And how do you thank us? You treat us like we're clowns!"

"Hold it, Frog-Man." An authoritative voice boomed. The young hero turned and saw Captain America. The super-soldier stood his ground. "Now, I've heard of you. Spider-Man once told me about you. **(1)** Back when you first came about, you were thought of as someone who was getting in over their head. A young kid with a good intention, but hindered by a clumsy streak and an unreliable costume."

"Your point, old man?" Eugene scowled, crossing his arms. Cap raised an eyebrow.

_Funny.__ The kid's sounding a lot like Kid Razor right now._ The Super-Soldier thought. "Look, Frog-Man. I have heard you want to be a serious super-hero. You were inspired by Spider-Man, weren't you?"

"I first took up the costume to…to…" Frog-Man struggled to remember. Cap raised an eyebrow.

_Odd._ The Sentinel of Liberty noted. _He doesn't even remember **why** he took up the costume. **(2)** Every hero I met perfectly well remembers the day they became a superhero._ His eyes narrowed. _Something is seriously wrong here…_

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"AGH!" Kid Razor screamed as the Thing pitched the Ultimate Rockstar into a rack of electronics. "Man, the Kid of Rock likes gadgets as much as the next dude, but isn't this a bit much?"

"Ya never shut up, do ya?" Ben Grimm growled as he stalked towards Razor, intent on wringing the fearless blond teen rocker's neck. "I'm gonna shut you up once and for all!" He thrust his hands out at Razor.

"Rockhead, if the Kid of Rock had a dollar for every single he heard some clown say he, she, or it told me they were going to shut the Kid of Rock up once and for all, the Kid of Rock would make Donald Trump look like a bum!" Razor quipped. The World's Greatest Guitarist, calling upon his superhuman reaction time and agility, quickly rolled out of the way. Quickly spurring into action, Razor plucked his guitar, taking to the air. The Fearless One quickly flew behind Ben, and landed on his feet. With another pluck, the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker blasted Ben in the back with a Power of Rock energy beam from his guitar's head. Ben screamed as the blast hit him, sending him flying into a wall. "Yeah, who the man now, you slate-skinned sanctimonious son of a…" Razor stopped when his superhuman hearing picked up a noise. "…Huh?" Razor quickly ran over to the source of the noise: A nearby television. He listened to the newscast.

"In New York City, we just got reports of what appears to be a series of battles between heroes…" An announcer reported. Razor groaned and rolled his eyes as the newscaster continued.

"Hey buddy, tell the Kid of Rock something he don't know." Razor groaned. His superhuman hearing picked up more noise. "And make it quick. Benny's waking up from his nap, and he gets pretty surly until he gets his coffee. And the Kid of Rock don't see any coffee shops nearby." As if the news man heard Razor's request, the anchor continued on.

"In the Baxter Building, we have just gotten reports of the First Family of Superheroes getting attacked by who appears to be Kid Razor, Cleveland's own superhero and rock superstar." Razor's eyes widened.

"_WHAT?_" Razor exclaimed. "The Baxter Building? How in the name of Judas Priest can the Kid of Rock be in the Baxter Building kicking some FF ass when he's here in his hometown of Cleveland fighting the Thing? It don't make sense!" Razor looked at the news footage of an aerial dogfight between himself and the Human Torch. Johnny Storm was throwing fireballs at Razor. And 'Razor' wore a certain costume, which made the real Razor's eyes widen. "That costume…The Kid of Rock recognizes it…" The Kid Razor battling the Human Torch was dressed in a Van Halen t-shirt tucked into a pair of black tights with red-and-silver razor blades, with wristcuffs to match. His boots were red with black and silver fringe. He also had on a black sleeveless leather jacket with red and silver flames running up the sides, small silver spikes on the shoulders, black feathers like a boa around the neck area, and a black cape. The guitar he was carrying was in the form of a black Jackson RR3 Rhoads, decorated with red flame and silver hardware, and a head shaped like the head of a trident. "The Kid of Rock hasn't worn that outfit in a while. I wore that…when the Kid of Rock last battled Selene." His hearing picked up a roar and the sound of something heavy being thrown aside. "The Kid of Rock says it's time to pay a visit to the Flim-Flamtastic Four."

"WHERE ARE YA, YA COWARD?" The Thing roared. Razor scowled and pulled out his Warper. **(3)**

"HERE I AM, YA OVERSIZED GRANITE GALOOT! COME AND GET YOU SOME!" Razor called out, tapping some coordinates on the Warper, and then creating a big vortex behind him. Razor scowled as Ben crashed his way through a rack of VCRs and DVD players.

"Alright, ya little loudmouth, I'm gonna take your limbs and shove 'em down yer throat! Plenty of room for 'em to fit in that big mouth!" Ben Grimm growled. Razor smirked.

"Come and get it, big man. Come and get it." Razor challenged.

**_Next: Razor vs. Razor!_**_ Kid Razor hits the __Baxter __Building__, and the Avengers make a not-so-shocking discovery!_

**(1) - The Fabulous Frog-Man first appeared in the Spider-Man comics. Spidey developed a sort of friendship with him and his father Vincent.**

**(2) - ****Eugene**** Patilio first donned a his father's costume to help out his dad, who was a retired minor Daredevil supervillain called Leap-Frog. **

**(3) - Earlier in "Uncanny Kid Razor", Spencer Burton/Sonic Blue created the Warper and gave one to Razor. The Warper allows Razor to travel cross-country quickly. In essence, using the device, Razor can go from ****Cleveland**** to ****New York**** in seconds.**


	40. Razor vs Razor!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "What a revoltin' development!" - The Thing**

**_Chapter 40: Razor vs. Razor!_**

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

"Hmmm…" The space princess known as Ramada looked down at the wrecked mall. She was hovering not too far away from the mall. "Odd…a battle has gone down. It must have been a great battle to cause such devastation." She looked up at Altoc, the small floating disco ball-like orb that was hovering next to her. "Why was I not invited to join in and enjoy it? Surely my beloved would have invited his future mate to join him in glorious battle."

"Perhaps Kid Razor felt that he could handle himself." Altoc suggested to the princess. "He is quite a capable warrior. He may be loud and annoying, but he is very capable. He has done a fine job protecting his city on his own way before we came here." Ramada nodded.

"Perhaps…" She agreed. "However, there is something odd."

"Odd?" Altoc asked in a puzzled manner.

"Yes." Ramada nodded. "After a victory, Razor always strutted to the cameras and made a spectacle of himself. Strange thing is, he has done no such thing. And there are no sounds of a battle from inside the mall."

"According to the police band, neither Razor nor the Thing are in the area. They simply vanished." Altoc told Ramada. Ramada was even more confused.

"Vanished? Where to?" The puzzled princess wondered, scratching her head. If Altoc could shrug, the little orb would at that point.

"I have no idea, Ramada. I cannot even fathom a guess as to where Razor vanished to and why."

**The ****Baxter ****Building**

What Ramada didn't realize was that the answer to her question laid halfway across the nation.

"Come on, you arrogant windbag!" Johnny Storm, flying over the Baxter Building in his fiery Human Torch form, snapped at his pursuer. He was flinging fireballs at what appeared to be a flying Kid Razor, dressed in his black costume. "Let's see how big that mouth of yours is when it's just about to meet 2000 degrees!" Johnny fired twin streams of flame. A raging Kid Razor flew after Johnny, dodging the fiery blasts with a couple barrel rolls, and firing rainbow-colored energy beams from his guitar.

"You ain't gonna be running that pretty-boy mouth of yours when the Kid of Rock gets through with you!" Kid Razor snapped back. "Come back here, ya punk!"

"Why don't you come and get it, you loudmouth!" Johnny challenged. "You think the Fantastic Four fear your ass?"

"The Fantastic Four have a murderer in their ranks!" Razor snapped. "As well as a man who denied the souls she murdered some PEACE!" With a yell, he put on a burst of speed. "HEAVY METAL PUNCH!" Razor nailed Johnny right across the mouth with his trademark Power-of-Rock-charged punch. The punch sent a screaming Johnny flying into the roof of the building, which he hit with a WHAM!

"Oh, man." The fire-wielding hot-headed hero moaned. "I'm gonna feel _that_ one in the morning."

"You're going to be feeling a lot more than that, Torchie." Razor scowled. He heard a noise, and the two heroes looked up. "What the-?" A vortex opened up in the sky above the roof of the Baxter Building. A screaming Ben Grimm fell through the vortex and right through the roof.

"Ben?" Johnny blinked. "But that's impossible! He's…He's…"

"Johnny, what's going on out there?" The voice of the Skrull woman named Lyja called from inside. "And where's my smoothie?"

"Oy…" Johnny groaned.

"What the hell is going on here?" Razor scowled.

"That's what the Kid of Rock would like to know." A familiar voice piped up. Razor and Johnny looked up. They saw a figure float through the portal, arms crossed, and a scowl on his face. A scowl pointed at Razor.

Kid Razor, dressed in his red-and-gold costume, was scowling at himself.

"So, _you're_ the wannabe that's been trying to steal the Kid of Rock's thunder." Razor scowled at his black-clad self. "Let me tell you something, little man. The Kid of Rock does all the thunder-stealing around here." Johnny blinked.

"What the hell?" The confused Human Torch scratched his head. "_Two_ Kid Razors? Aw, man! I thought _one_ was annoying enough!"

**Avengers ****Mansion**

"ARGH!" Wanda Maximoff, the mutant hexcaster known as the Scarlet Witch, screamed as a blue sonic blast nailed her in the gut and sent her flying into a wall.

"Goodness!" Jarvis yelped as he dove under a table. He heard a high-pitched scream. Reacting with lightning reflexes, the butler let the falling Janet Van Dyne, the super-powered heroine known as the Wasp, fall right into his hand.

"Are you alright, Madame Van Dyne?" Jarvis asked concernedly. The woman groaned.

"I'm alright." Wasp slowly staggered to her feet. "What in the name of God is going on here?" The sounds of battle erupted in the background.

"It appears Master Burton and his friend are not of sound mind." Jarvis reasoned.

"No kidding." Wasp agreed. "I don't get it! What's causing Sonic Blue to act like this? And I have heard of Frog-Man from Spider-Man. Heard he got a new costume, and attitude, but this is _crazy!_" Wasp sighed. The Avengers were having a tough time against Sonic Blue. Even though the Avengers were familiar with super speed, they were having a difficult time because Spencer was a kid they liked, and they were taken aback by how unusual he was acting. Not to mention they were holding back because they didn't want to hurt him.

"I think that may not be Sonic Blue." Cap muttered as he helped Wanda up, blocking a sonic blast with his shield.

"What?" Wanda blinked.

"I once asked Frog-Man why he went into the superhero world, and he did not remember." Cap explained.

"…I don't understand." Wanda blinked.

"I have never met a costumed hero who forgot why he or she started going into costumed adventuring in the first place." Cap explained. "A lot of the local heroes have their reasons as well. Kid Razor did it to give his hometown a hero, Sonic Blue did it for a couple reasons, but no matter what, no hero I ever met ever forgot the reason why he or she went into heroing in the first."

"So are you saying that you think the Sonic Blue and Frog-Man that are attacking us are not the real Sonic Blue and Frog-Man because they don't know why they put on the costumes in the first place?" Wanda blinked. Cap nodded.

"Yeah. It's especially true with the local heroes." Cap nodded. "Come on! We gotta figure out what is going on here. If we're not being attacked by local heroes…then what're we being attacked by?"

**The ****Baxter ****Building**

"NYEARGH!" The black-clad Kid Razor screamed as the red-clad, the **_real_** Kid Razor, blasted him right in the chest with a Power of Rock beam.

"Heh." Razor smirked at his black-clad counter part. "The Kid of Rock thought so. You're not the real Kid Razor, nor will you ever be, punk. Let's rock!"

**_Next: Double Main Event!_**_ Kid Razor takes on the fake version of himself at the __Baxter __Building!_


	41. Double Main Event!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Do you really wanna jump?" - Mel Gibson as Sgt. Riggs, Lethal Weapon**

**_Chapter 41: Double Main Event!_**

**The Astral Plane**

_My name, if you ask my mom, is Ronald John Entwistle. Ask me, though, and it's Ronnie Rocker, glam rocker extraordinaire, amateur stage magician, and mentor to a legend._ Ronnie Rocker flew around the Astral Plane, thinking. He'd been doing that a lot lately. After all, his life had taken many twists and turns, and strangely for him, his death didn't stop him leading a crazy life.

_Boy, have I lived one hell of a life._ Ronnie shook his head, smiling. _As a kid, I grew up idolizing the Beatles and Elvis thanks to my parents' records. I never thought I'd be compared to them. On the day I got my first guitar, I knew my destiny. At least, I thought I did. I knew and believed in my heart that I would be a rocker. And I did. Little did I know that that destiny would also include fighting an evil mutant sorceress in a leftover of Ancient __Rome__ in __Brazil__, which resulted in my guitar becoming a mystical object, and then dying at the hands of her some years later._ Ronnie laughed. _But death, which some say means the end, only became just another day in my life. My soul got itself bound to my magic guitar, and it ended up in the hands of a teenager from __Cleveland__, transforming him into a rock legend._ He looked around. He thought about his encounter with Reed Richards and Johnny Storm.

_Man, this whole situation with Selene is really driving me bananas._ Ronnie sighed. _I got a unique thing going for me. I'm a person who actually gets a chance to confront the person who murdered me. The Fantastic Four say she wants to reform, but I don't know. I really don't. Selene's evil was legendary. A lot of people are dead thanks to her? After all that crap, can a person truly change? She sure seemed to not care about my life when she watched me die in that English field. _Ronnie sighed. _I dunno. What do I do?_

**The ****Baxter ****Building**

"Ohhh…" Reed Richards moaned as he used his stretching powers to help get a couch off of him. He looked around the wrecked living room. "Is everyone alright?"

"We're fine, dear." Sue Richards confirmed as she used forcefields to push off another piece of furniture. "Luckily, I managed to get pretty much everyone in my forcefield."

"Yeah." Lyja, the Skrull warrior woman known as the Lazerfist, sighed.

"What the hell was that lunatic Kid Razor _thinking?_" Ben Grimm scowled in the form of the Thing. During a honeymoon in Rome which resulted in a battle with the alchemist Diablo, Ben gained the ability to transform back and forth from the Thing to his human form at will. **(1)** "But then again, I ain't surprised by **anything** that loudmouthed clown pulls!"

"I thought we had something that detected Kid Razor." Sue remembered.

"We do." Reed nodded. "Dr. Strange helped me make the device. Why didn't it go off?" Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, flew in.

"You guys! Something weird is up!" Johnny panted. "There's two of them!"

"Two of them?" Selene, the mutant ex-Black Queen blinked in confusion.

"Two Razors!" Johnny exclaimed. "One flew in out of nowhere and started brawling with the other one!"

"Aw great, is if one Kid Razor wasn't bad enough." Ben quipped.

"I knew there was something odd about Razor today…" Selene put a finger to her chin.

"He busted in, ran his mouth, and tried to take our heads off and called you a murderer, Selene." Sue crossed her arms. "He seemed like normal Razor to me."

"I couldn't sense it on him." Selene shook her head. "I couldn't sense the Power of Rock within him."

"What do you mean?" Johnny scratched his head.

"I may have lost a lot of my power, but I still have a few tricks." Selene explained. "I am a sorceress, after all. I can sense mystical forces, including the Power of Rock. Kid Razor, his guitar in particular, is basically a giant blip on my radar. I didn't sense any of that from Razor when he attacked us."

"Maybe he found a way to camouflage himself." Johnny shrugged.

"That's not Razor's style." Selene told him. "Trust me. I've fought him for years. Razor is the type who is into stealth. He likes to announce his presence. The Razor that attacked us didn't register on my radar for the Power of Rock."

"Indeed." Reed agreed. "So that would explain why the alarm didn't go off."

"Which means…" Ben blinked.

"It wasn't Razor who attacked us!" Sue realized.

"Then the Razor that flew in out of nowhere…" Johnny pieced it together. "That was the **_real_** Kid Razor!" Noises and yelling was heard.

"Outta my way! HEAVY METAL PUNCH!" **_BWAM!_** The noses made the residents of the Baxter Building wince, retch, and groan.

"Come back here! VAN HALEN HAMMER!" **_CRASH!_**

"You think you can stop the Kid of Rock! ALDO NOVA EXPLOSION!" **_FWOOM!_**

"Pal, you may look like the Kid of Rock, you may act like the Kid of Rock, you may have the Kid of Rock's voice, and you may even have a fancy guitar, but you don't have the Power of Rock, so you ain't the Kid of Rock! SONIC YOUTHQUAKE!" **_RRRRRRUMBLLLLLLE!_**

"Oh great, he's starting an earthquake!" Sue stumbled. The floor exploded, revealing the black-clad fake Kid Razor flying up through the ground. He hit the ceiling with an "AUGH!" and landed on the ground.

"Oh Raaaaaazorrrrrrrrr…" The real Kid Razor smirked as he flew through the hole in the roof with his arms crossed. He mocked the fake Razor with a grin and a high voice. "Come out and play-yayyyyyyyy…" The fake Razor growled and scowled as he got up to his feet.

"I'm gonna whup yer ass!" The fake Ultimate Rockstar growled.

"The black-clad Razor's the fake." Johnny nodded. "The real Razor would say something a lot wittier." Razor smirked as he turned to the Fantastic Four.

"Heh." Razor scoffed. "The Flim-Flamtastic Four. The Kid of Rock ain't surprised that you guys couldn't take down a fake version of the Kid of Rock."

"Oh, shut up!" Ben scowled, crossing his arms. Razor ignored the orange rock-skinned powerhouse. He smiled and waved at Selene, his old enemy.

"Hiya, Queenie!" Razor greeted sweetly. "Sacrificed any innocent people today?" The sorceress scowled.

"I wish a lighting rig would fall on you." Razor laughed at Selene's statement.

"You tried that once, remember?" Razor mocked. "All it did was make me mad." The black-clad Razor charged the real Razor with a Bon Jovi Booster, sending them both flying out of the building. Razor then started pounding at his fake counterpart. "Who the hell are you? What the hell are you?"

"The new Black Queen sends her regards." The fake Razor smirked. Razor's eyes widened.

"_New_ Black Queen? There's a new one now? Those Hellfire jerkoffs sure did take their sweet time!" Razor grunted. He plucked his guitar, causing his forcefield. "Let the Kid of Rock guess. It's another magic chick, right? Always with the magic chicks. Oh well." Razor quickly flipped himself over so the fake Razor was facing the ground.

"Huh?" The fake Razor blinked.

"ALDO NOVA EXPLOSION!" Kid Razor's forcefield exploded with a **_KABOOM_**, forcing the fake Razor off him. The fake Razor screamed as he was sent flying into the street. Razor scowled. "Alright, jackass!" He yelled as he flew down toward the crater that his fake counterpart created on impact with the street. "How in the name of Judas Priest are you able to duplicate the Kid of Rock's powers? The Kid of Rock knows you don't use the Power of Rock, because he can't sense any on you!"

"Thank Morgan, ya loudmouthed, self-centered teenage twit." The fake Razor laughed. Razor narrowed his eyes.

_Well, hold on loosely and call me .38 Special!_ Razor grunted in realization. _The Kid of Rock remembers one time he went to see the Avengers, and he went into their files. Morgan could only mean one person…Morgan Le Fay. The medieval chick. Lovely. Just freakin' lovely._ His eyes widened as he saw the fake Razor fly towards him, gearing up a Heavy Metal Punch. "Holee-!"

"HEAVY METAL-!" The fake Razor roared, but he found Razor was ready. The Fearless One grabbed the fake Razor's arm.

"HEAVY METAL TORNADO!" Razor yelled. He started spinning at high speeds while still gripping the fake Razor's arm. "Glad you could join the Kid of Rock for a spin, paly boy!" Razor hooted, releasing the fake Razor's arm. The motion caused the fake Razor to fly head-first into a building. "Ugh." Razor wobbled a little and put his hand to his head. "No wonder the Kid of Rock doesn't decide to use that move often."

"Having trouble, musician?" An English-accented feminine voice laughed. Razor slowly turned his head. Floating before him was the medieval sorceress Morgan Le Fey.

"Oh…" Razor was about to spit out one of his trademark rock puns. Suddenly, his face turned green. "Ugh…BUH-LEEEEEEEEAHHHHHH!" He vomited all over Morgan. "Oh yeah…the Kid of Rock **definitely** knows why he doesn't do the Heavy Metal Tornado very often."

**_Next: Classic _****_Battle_****_, New Twist_**_ Kid Razor confronts Morgan Le Fay! And what's going on in __Detroit__? A mutant who can access the Power of Rock? HUH?_

**(1) - See "Uncanny Four"**


	42. Classic Battle, New Twist

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Get used to it! 85 dollars, please."**

**_Chapter 42: Classic _****_Battle_****_, New Twist_**

**Detroit, ****Michigan**

Detroit, Michigan. The Motor City. Even thought Detroit was known as America's car-producing capital, it was also known as one of America's toughest cities.

"Fellas! Move, dammit! The cops are on us!" A masked thug, carrying a Magnum in one hand and a bag of money in the other, snapped. He and his three buddies, all dressed in black and ski masks, raced down a back alley. They were all carrying a couple bags of money. The sounds of police running, shouting, and shooting could be heard behind them. "Come on!" The thugs turned a corner and raced down another alley. The lead thug's eyes widened and he skidded to a sudden stop, nearly causing the other thugs to fall down on their butts.. "Hey, what?"

"Now, now, now, boys…" A young voice grinned. "Didn't your mothers tell you you shouldn't go around taking other people's money without planning to pay 'em back?" The source of the voice was a teenage boy. However, the shadows of the alley hid a lot of his features and costume. All that could be seen was some flashes of blond hair.

"Oh, look…" The lead punk smirked. "The little punk wants to play superhero." He and his fellow thugs whipped out their Magnums. "Anyone in the mood for some Swiss cheese?" They fired their guns. However, the kid's eyes flashed, and a rainbow-colored aura appeared around him, deflecting the bullets. "The hell-?"

"Hey!" One of the thugs piped. "I know that aura! My cousin in Cleveland got caught by Kid Razor one time! He has a rainbow aura just like that!"

"Why the hell would Kid Razor come here, you twit?" The lead thug grunted. "This is Detroit! Cleveland's his town! Why would he come to Detroit?"

"Kid Razor?" The figure laughed. "You _wish_ I was Kid Razor!" He pointed his fist at the lead thug's gun. With a BZZAP, a rainbow-colored beam of energy escaped the kid's fist. The beam hit the thug's hand, causing him to scream and drop his gun.

"What're you waiting for, you twits? Captain America to show up? Get 'im!" The lead thug snapped.

"Oh, boy!" The kid grinned. "Fun time!" The kid took down the lead thug with a roundhouse kick. He took out two more thugs with a couple chops to the neck, and then took the final thug down with a spear. The kid tutted and shook his head. "Typical." The kid sighed, tugging at what appeared to be the lapels of a leather jacket. "I dunno why these thugs keep doing this stuff. The least they could do is learn to fight."

**Cleveland, ****Ohio**

While the mysterious figure was doing his thing in Detroit, Kid Razor was encountering his own problems in his native Cleveland. Morgan Le Fay, the medieval sorceress who had taken Selene's old spot as the Hellfire Club's Black Queen, scowled down at herself.

"Lovely." The sorceress scowled.

"Great." Razor grumbled. He recognized the costume. "New face, same old crap."

"I _really_ did not need this today." Morgan scowled at the vomit on her outfit. She waved her hand, and her magic cleaned her right up.

"Cute." Razor clapped sarcastically. "Can you make a top hat appear and then pull a rabbit out of it?"

"Ha." Morgan scoffed. "That is a mere parlor trick."

"The Kid of Rock has head of you, Le Fay." Razor scowled. "He knows people." He looked at Morgan's outfit. "Normally, I would expect another dark-haired immortal magic hag in that."

"I'm sure you know about my predecessor's…current whereabouts." Morgan smirked, crossing her arms.

"Boy, do I ever know about what _that_ hag's been up to." Razor grumbled. He looked at Morgan. "Okay Le Fay, the Kid of Rock got attacked by the Thing, who just happened to be at the Baxter Building, trying to take down a fake version of yours truly." The Ultimate Rockstar smirked. "Which, combined with your appearance, makes the Kid of Rock think. Since the Kid of Rock can be imitated, but never duplicated, the Kid of Rock now thinks that you may be behind this." Morgan laughed.

"To be honest, you were the _last_ one of these…heroes…I would expect to deduce this whole thing." Morgan chuckled. "I am quite impressed." Razor grunted.

"It's pretty obvious, Le Fay." Razor grumbled. "You're trying to stir up some trouble between the heroes." Morgan chuckled.

"If there is anything I enjoy, it's causing disunity among heroes." Morgan admitted. "Besides, I have noticed that the heroes are divided into two camps. One is referred to as the 'New York Heroes'. They are more numerous, and in general, more powerful. They also are more well-known."

"The Avengers, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Spidey, and the like." Razor nodded. "They all have New York as a base of operations. So?"

"And then…" Morgan continued, ignoring Razor's question. "…there's the camp known as the 'Local Heroes'. They're the heroes who each operate out of their own cities."

"Yeah." Razor nodded. "Like me in Cleveland, the Cavaliers in Miami, and Sonic Blue in Cincinnati. So?" Razor scowled. "We're getting as famous as the New Yorkers."

"They say you locals don't like the New York Heroes." Morgan smirked.

"Some of us feel that the New Yorkers don't really seem to notice other places." Razor crossed his arms. "How many times have the X-Men been in Cleveland before the Kid of Rock came around? How come the Avengers have never been in Seattle before Winger showed up? When has Iron Man ever come to Cincinnati before…" Razor trailed off as the Heavy Metal Heartbreaker's mind pieced it together. "…Have the cops call a 5150 and call the Kid of Rock Van Halen! You're trying to make the Local Heroes and New York Heroes tear each other apart!" Morgan laughed.

"Ah, I see you are smarter than they say you are." Morgan smirked. "And here I believed you were nothing but an overgrown loudmouth." Razor snarled.

"Loudmouth THIS, you Medieval relic!" Razor let rip with his magical guitar, blasting Morgan in the stomach. The blast sent the screaming Black Queen flying into a building. "Yeah! WHOOOO!" Razor taunted happily. He started screaming into the hole in the building. "How ya like that, ya leftover from the Dark Ages? Yeah! Alright! You're a punk, Le Fay! You heard me! An overgrown punk! Yeah! Merlin ain't got squat on me!" A roar was heard. Razor turned…and got speared with a Bon Jovi Booster from the fake Razor. "AGH!"

"You forgot about me, didn't you pal?" The fake Razor smirked. The real Razor scowled.

"The Kid of Rock wishes he could, you stupid fake. **_Believe_** the Kid of Rock, he wishes he could." Razor grumbled. He noticed he was heading into a building. "What in the name of heavy metal? YI!" Razor screamed as the fake Razor plowed him into another building. It was an office building. And the two Razors landed right in the middle of a meeting. The impact separated the two Razors. "Oh…" Razor moaned as he got to his feet. "The Kid of Rock feels like he fell on the floor in the middle of a mosh pit at a Metallica concert HOLY BON JOVI!" Razor cartwheeled out of the way of an axe-style blow from the fake Razor, then nailed the fake Razor right in the jaw with a Power-of-Rock-charged right cross, which knocked the fake Razor into a water cooler, spine-first. Razor then grabbed a stapler from the desk, and in front of the shocked executives, opened it up.

"Ugh…" The fake Razor moaned.

"Hope you had your tetanus shot!" The real Razor scowled as he leapt on the fake Razor, and started using the stapler on the fake Razor's forehead, making the fake Razor scream in pain. Razor also started cursing up a storm. The executives retched.

"Aw, that's wrong." A balding executive scowled.

"What a savage." A female executive shook her head in disgust.

"That's not right." An old man winced. Two interns who happened to be passing by noticed the action. Their jaws dropped, and then they grinned. They started pumping their fists in the air and chanting.

"E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!" Razor smirked when he heard the two. He looked up, pointed at them, and gave them the 'Rock On' sign. The acknowledgement made the two interns hoot in delight and high five.

"Awesome!" The two interns hooted. The fake Razor tried to capitalize on Razor being distracted, but the real Razor saw it coming. He got out of the way of the attempted guitar-to-the-temple move, then grabbed the water cooler's water tank. He bashed the fake Razor right in the head with it.

"Oh, Razor…" A feminine voice purred. Razor turned and saw Morgan hovering at the hole in the office, an evil smirk on her face. She fired a magical blast from her hand right at Razor.

**_Next: Classic _****_Battle_****_, New Twist, Part 2_**_ The brawl between Kid Razor and Morgan continues!_


	43. Classic Battle, New Twist: Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

_To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! And yes, the fight shall continue! Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Evolution XMJ"!_

_To Haretrigger: Hey there, Hare! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Marvel's offices are in New York, so that's probably why all their heroes live there. That, and the hot dogs. Glad you liked the chapter and gratuitous ECW reference. Long live ECW. Oh yeah, Detroit_ _is a city to keep an eye on. Enjoy the new chapter!_

_To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Glad you like the story so far. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of your Evo fics. Hope your brain recovers!_

_To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Actually, it's just Razor vs. Morgan. Enjoy the new chapter ,and I can hardly wait for new chapters of your URM-Verse stories!_

_To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yes, I've seen some ECW…And it rocked. It rocked muchly, as you would say. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Gifts and Curses"!_

_To Doza: Hey there, Doza! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I'm glad you enjoy the story! Enjoy the new chapter!_

**Disclaimer: "Operation Human Shield my ass!" - Isaac Hayes as Chef, South** **Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut**

**_Chapter 43: Classic Battle, New Twist, Part 2_**

**Detroit, Michigan**

In a donut shop in Detroit, two members of Detroit's Finest were having a discussion. Those two officers were discussing a topic which had become quite popular among the police in the city. The topic was a mysterious crimefighter that had started appearing in their city sometime back. Not much was known about him, and in fact, he seemed to bear some similarities to Cleveland's resident superhuman teenage rocker, Kid Razor. The two cops were the classic old guy/young guy partnership.

"I'm tellin' ya, Perez." The gray-haired old cop said to his young partner, who was reading a newspaper. "It's Kid Razor. It's just got to be."

"Really?" The young cop, Perez, answered, not looking up from his paper. "What makes you say that?"

"Easy." The old cop waved his donut at the Perez as he spoke. "The crooks who get captured by him say that he uses rainbow energy beams and auras and the like. Just like Kid Razor. You know, I think Razor's moving." Perez looked up. "Yeah. He's come to Detroit. He's packed up from Cleveland and come here to the Motor City. If those Cavaliers could move from Cleveland to Miami, so can Razor."

"Giffen…" Perez snorted. "Why would Kid Razor, a superhero who his entire career, has always talked about how proud he was to be from Cleveland, suddenly decide to pack up and come here to Detroit? It makes no sense." He then started to think. "Hey, you heard of those Young Avengers?"

"Yeah, why?" Giffen, the old cop, nodded. "They're the little versions of the Avengers. Why?"

"Well, I was thinking." Perez started. "Those Young Avengers use the gimmicks of their older counterparts. Maybe somehow, somebody else managed to use Razor's magic Power of Rock thingy, and is now running around using his powers."

"Huh." Giffen bit his donut. "Interesting theory."

"You know, if I was Kid Razor, and I heard about this guy, I'd come pay the Motor City a visit, and check it out." Perez smirked. Giffen snorted.

"Yeah, right." Giffen snorted. "How the hell would Kid Razor be able to get himself all the way here to Detroit? What's he got, some kind of device that allows him to warp here and there all over the place?" The two cops heard noises. "What the-?" They looked out the window, and saw several giant turkeys run by. "Not this again!"

"I thought this kind of stuff only happened in Cleveland!" Perez leapt up.

**New York City, New York**

Morgan Le Fey, the Hellfire Club's new Black Queen, fired a magical blast at Kid Razor. The Ultimate Rockstar quickly whipped his mystically-indestructible guitar in front of him. The blast hit Razor's guitar, reflecting it like a mirror reflecting light. The action caught Morgan by surprise, knocking her out of the building, and the recoil knocked Razor out of the meeting room, into the main part of the floor, covered in cubicles.

"Whoa…" Razor mumbled as he got to his feet. "That'll wake you up in the morning." Razor noticed his fake counterpart leap up and charge towards him. "The Kid of Rock has to give you credit for one thing: You don't quit." Razor held up his guitar like a baseball bat. "Van Halen Hammer!" Razor swung the guitar, nailing his duplicate across the face, sending him flying out of the building. "Sucker…Leapin' Def Leppard!" Razor cartwheeled to the side, narrowly avoiding a blast of mystical energy.

"Foolish child!" Morgan tutted as she floated into the room, her fists glowing with mystical energy. "Did you really believe you could defeat me with my own mystical powers?" Razor scowled.

"Ah, go stuff yourself with crumpets, you old British bag!" Razor snapped. Morgan scowled.

"I tire of your insults." She fired another mystical blast.

"Well, too bad, Le Fay!" Razor snapped as he knocked the blast away with his guitar while doing a backflip. Midair, he activated his forcefield. "The Kid of Rock hasn't even _begun_ to insult you!" Razor fired a magical blast from his guitar. The blast nailed Le Fay right in the gut, sending her flying back out of the building. Razor gave chase, aiming to nail the English sorceress right in the jaw with a Power of Rock-charged punch. "You know, Le Fay, the Kid of Rock's always been known for being a gracious host. Whenever he throws a party, he always offers the guests some PUNCH!" Razor threw the punch, but Le Fay recovered just in time. She dodged, then nailed Razor with a hard uppercut. The blow sent a screaming Razor flying backwards, but he managed to recover.

"You did not expect that, did you Razor?" Morgan smirked. Razor wiped his mouth.

"From the last Black Queen, yeah." Razor grunted. He heard the fake Razor flying towards him. "What the hell is up with this guy?" Razor muttered to himself. Just when the fake Razor was about to bear down on him, the real Razor grabbed the fake Razor, and spun him towards Morgan. The fake Razor's momentum caused him to fly into Morgan.

"Get off me!" Morgan snapped, knocking the fake Razor off her. The distraction allowed the real Razor to fly toward her and smash her in the shoulder with his guitar like a sledgehammer.

"Man, I really _nailed_ you!" Razor teased. The impact sent a screaming Morgan flying downwards. "Ah, go join a Razor impersonator's club!" Razor then nailed his distracted duplicate with his guitar, knocking him into next year. "Idiot." The Fearless One then dove down after Morgan. "Hey Fay Wray! What the hell was that clown dressing up as the mighty Kid of Rock 'n' Roll?" Morgan pulled up and floated quickly to Razor's level, firing more magical attacks.

"Just a little creation of mine." Morgan smirked. "You'd be surprised what I can do with my magic."

"Selene said the same thing back in the day, and her tricks bored me." Razor grunted as he flew around the mystical attacks. "And you're beginning to do the same thing, Le Fey. Not to mention your little scheme just blew up like a firework factory! The FF are probably alerting all the heroes as we speak!"

"Ha!" Morgan laughed. "The New York heroes do not like you much, Razor. Particularly the Fantastic Four. After all, they allowed your old enemy to essentially get away with the many crimes she committed over the centuries." Razor's face darkened. "Selene never paid for her crimes, did she?" Morgan smirked. "She hurt thousands, and they've gone unavenged, have they?" Razor shook with rage.

"The Kid of Rock's problems with the FF are his." Razor snarled. "STAY OUT OF THEM!" Like a bullet, Razor charged Le Fay. He nailed her in the gut with a Power of Rock-charged left-handed punch to the gut. "WHAM!" He then nailed her across the jaw with a Power of Rock-charged right cross. "BAM!" Finally, Razor hit the sorceress with a Power of Rock-charged two-fisted hammer blow. "THANK YOU MA'AM!" Razor watched the screaming sorceress fly upwards in an arc out of sight. "Old psycho." He then flew back towards the Baxter Building.

**The Baxter** **Building, some time later**

"Well, Morgan has been foiled." Reed announced. He and the rest of the Fantastic Four were in their meeting room. "Razor and I contacted all the heroes. They're rounding up Morgan's duplicates, and they'll be sent here where me and Dr. Strange can take a look at them."

"Where's Suzie?" Ben wondered, when he noticed one of them was missing.

"Up on the roof." Reed remembered. "She said she wanted to talk to Razor. This whole thing with your wife, Ben. It's gotten to him."

**The roof**

"Razor…" Sue Richards, the Invisible Woman, looked around as she walked around on the Baxter Building's roof. She noticed Razor staring out at New York skyline. He was standing, leaning slightly forward, his hands on his bent knee. "Hey, Razor."

"What do you want, Richards?" Razor muttered.

"I just wanted to talk."

"Go ahead." Razor never even turned his head in her direction. It was obvious he was none too happy.

"Look, Razor…" Sue started. "I know you're angry about this whole thing with Selene." Razor snorted.

"Oh gee, what made you say that?" Razor muttered.

"Yeah, well…" Sue coughed. "I know that you and Selene have fought for years. She's been after your guitar since practically the beginning. We all know that. However, people do change. Take you, for example. When we all first met you, we all thought you were an arrogant jerk. A lot of us still think that, but you showed that you have a heroic heart. She does genuinely seek forgiveness for her past. Razor, you're not the only enemy she had. You probably know Magma and August from the X-Men, right?"

"Not too well." Razor shrugged.

"Well, I'm sure you know about Magma and Roma Nova. And August is Selene's daughter. They've both let go and moved on." Sue shook her head. "I understand why you still hate her. You've suffered a lot in the past because of her. But that's the past. I do know that you are a good person, Razor. If you weren't, you wouldn't be such a great superhero." Razor looked at Sue, and sighed.

"Sue, the Kid of Rock's not gonna lie." Razor sighed. "Everyone seems to think that this is about me. That it's the Kid of Rock's ego that's not allowing him to forgive. It's her actions." Razor turned to Sue. "For centuries, she's used her powers to perform unspeakable evil. For power, for wealth, to preserve her life, and even just for fun! For **_fun!_** She terrorized and killed just because she _enjoyed it!_ And now all of a sudden, she wants to repent? That's kind of odd, isn't it?" Razor asked. "Now, you know about Ronnie Rocker, right?"

"Yes." Sue nodded.

"What about him?" Razor sighed. "He was murdered by Selene, just like lots of other people! Didn't he get a say? He can talk to the living! You should've asked him! But you didn't! You just welcomed her with open arms!" Razor's eyes started to tear up, and he gritted his teeth. "You didn't give a damn! And when she got sent to Hell to pay for her crimes, Ben Grimm busted her out! In the process, Selene's victims got screwed over again! First, they got screwed out of life, and then out of eternal rest and peace! The Kid of Rock may not know their names, and many of them died before the Kid of Rock was even born, but the Kid of Rock knows that they were all denied justice! Heroes are supposed to make those victims get justice! That's why the Kid of Rock is so mad about this whole thing! It's not fair! Don't the dead get a say in all of it? No speaks for them! No one speaks for her victims!" Sue looked sadly as a tear went down Razor's painted cheek. "It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Razor angrily ran to the side of the building, and jumped off. He plucked his guitar, and flew off. Sue watched him fly away.

_Poor Razor._ Sue shook her head. _His heart is in the right place, though. I can understand why he would take that stance. I just hope he can find a way to reconcile all that. He's a good kid under that face paint. He really is. Only a real hero would be that empathetic. I just hope he's able to forgive, and I hope those who were hurt by Selene when she was evil will find peace, too. They deserve it. Hopefully, if they find peace, so will Razor._

**_Next: Detroit_** **_Rock_** **_City_** _Kid Razor teams up with the XSE when the mutant team discovers a new mutant in Detroit_…_a mutant who can wield a certain mystical rainbow-colored power…_


	44. Detroit Rock City, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "In your face, space cowboy!" – Jubilee, Uncanny XSE**

Chapter 44: Detroit Rock City, pt. 1

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor, the fearless defender of Cleveland, flew into an apartment building. He ended up in a room that looked like the bedroom of a teenage boy. The bed was in the center. Next to it was a nightstand with a lamp, an alarm clock, and several small Kiss figures and toy race cars on it. On the other side of the bed was a shelf with several comic book trade paperbacks on it. Across from the bed on the wall was a small table with a TV, a couple video game consoles, several games, and DVDs. Next to the table was a dresser. The room's walls were painted blue, with posters of classic rock bands and pro wrestlers pasted on in places. Razor landed in the room and plucked his guitar. In a flash of rainbow light, he transformed back into Robert Parkins, his civilian alter-ego. The teenage musician sighed. He ran his hand through his brown hair, and flopped down on the bed. He picked up a remote that was on the bed, and used it to turn on the television.

"Ugh…" Bobby mumbled to himself. "Man, that was some crazy adventure." The TV turned on to the news.

"And in local news today, the big story was the mysterious fight that occurred between Cleveland's own Kid Razor and the Fantastic Four member Benjamin J. Grimm, codenamed the Thing." The anchorwoman reported.

"Oy…" Bobby grunted.

"However, according to the Fantastic Four, Mr. Grimm was never in Cleveland today, and that it was fake Thing that had attacked Cleveland, as well as called out, and engaged, Kid Razor. Police-"

"Bah!" Bobby grumbled, changing the channel. The TV got switched to a special: _When Horses Get Drunk._ "Man, that was completely stupid."

"Penny for your thoughts?" Ronnie Rocker appeared, floating at Bobby's wall.

"Yeah." Bobby sighed, leaning back on his bed. "I had a great day today. I got ambushed by a magical fake Thing, brawled with Morgan Le Fay in New York, and I gave a tongue-lashing to the Invisible Woman." He took a breath. "Perfect day. In fact, it was fantastic."

"Yeah." Ronnie nodded sympathetically. "I don't blame you, Razor. I really don't. This whole thing with the FF and Selene. I mean, it drives me crazy!"

"Yeah." Bobby nodded. "It wasn't fair. The Selene I know, the one I fought, the one that went after my guitar, was a merciless woman. A complete psychopath. A woman who enjoyed torturing and taking innocent lives. She did so much to so many people, and yet, she, in essence, gets away with it! It's not fair! It's just not fair, Ronnie."

"I know." Ronnie sighed. "Believe me, I know. Sometimes, though…life just isn't fair."

"Yeah. Tell me about it." Bobby sighed. "Times like this…I wish someone else was Kid Razor."

**Detroit, Michigan**

In Detroit, there was a condemned-looking old building. The windows were boarded in, the doors appeared locked. However, flashing lights from within indicated there was activity going on inside the building. As well as growling. The growling got stopped by the sound of something metal hitting the ground and a yell.

"YEEEEEOW!" A scientist-type howled in pain, hopping on one foot, holding his other. He was dressed in a slightly worn lab-coat, black slacks, and a green sweater. His eyes were covered by dark sunglasses, and he had long blond hair in a small ponytail, with a red bandana over his forehead. A large wrench laid on the ground nearby him. "OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE!" He was in what appeared to be a makeshift lab, with several large computer terminals around him, and a couple tables. Various tools were strewn all over the place, and there were a couple chairs lying about. A radio was playing a rock tune in the background. He grumbled and cursed as he rubbed his foot, and tested it to see if he could walk on it. Satisfied there was no damage, the scientist walked over to a gadget he was working on. He smiled when he looked at it. The black gadget looked like an odd combination of a PDA, a taser, and a remote control. He smiled at the gadget, and picked it up, when he heard the radio put out a special report.

"This is a special report." The radio announced. "The Fuzzy Dice Gang, one of Detroit's most notorious gangs, despite their admittedly girly name, was single-handedly captured today by a mysterious figure who appeared to wield a rainbow-colored energy, similar to the energy wielded by Cleveland's own Kid Razor…" The scientist smiled, mentally tuning out the broadcast.

"Hah! Luck has smiled upon me." He grinned. "I'll show 'em now! I'll show 'em all! I'll show 'em anyone can harness the Power of Rock! Or my name isn't Dr. Wally Bonham!"

**The Xavier Institute**

In the Monitor Room of the Institute, a dark-haired woman, dressed in a purple-and-red uniform with red cyber-shades, was dutifully watching over the surveillance of the Institute. Well, not really. The dark-haired woman was Sage, a mutant telepath who had a brain that worked like a computer. However, the normally stoic and reserved woman had decided to relax and indulge in one of her little passions. She had put her feet up on a console, and had placed a bag of microwave popcorn on her lap. On one of the screens, her favorite TV show was playing.

"Ow! Ow!" Homer Simpson screamed as a garage door repeatedly closed on his head. Sage laughed happily at the action.

"Oh, poor Homer…" Sage chuckled, shaking her head with a smile. "You will never get a break." The sound of the door opening was heard. Sage quickly gasped and turned around. She sighed in relief as she recognized the figure: A bald African-American man dressed in a black-and-yellow uniform, and dark sunglasses that still showed the 'M' tattoo over his eye. He was Lucas Bishop, a mutant police officer from the future with the ability to absorb energy and fire it back. "Oh…" Sage panted quickly, putting her hand on her chest, tapping it in an attempt to slow her heart rate. "Hello, Lucas. Forgive me, you surprised me."

"Sorry." Bishop chuckled. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He looked at the TV and smiled. "I see you were taking a break."

"Yes." Sage smiled sheepishly. "Staring at security camera images for a long time, I admit, can grow rather boring at times. Even my patience with it can wear thin, so I distract myself every so often." Sage pointed at the screen that was showing the Simpsons.

"Yeah. I don't blame you." Bishop nodded. "Anyway, Charles asked me to come in and check on you."

"Check on me?" Sage blinked, puzzled. "Why?"

"Well, he thinks you spend too much time in this room." Bishop explained. "He said maybe you should go out more. Spend time outside with people." Sage sighed.

"I wish I could." Sage sighed. "But my duties in the Monitor Room keep me very busy."

"Not busy enough." Bishop joked, referring to the screen playing the Simpsons. Sage blushed in embarrassment. Their reverie was cut off by voices. "What the-?"

"_BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!_" An Asian girl dressed in blue jeans, a black-shirt with Kid Razor's 'Winged Razor Blade' insignia on it, and a yellow trenchcoat cackled as she ran by. She was Jubilation Lee, a Chinese-American mutant with the power to create energy blasts and fireworks.

"What in the name of…" Bishop blinked. He got his answer when an angry blonde girl raced by after Jubilee, wielding a katana. She was Paige Guthrie, a Kentucky-born mutant with the power to shed her skin into any substance. "What is going on?"

"Get back here, Lee!" Paige screamed, waving the katana about like a madwoman. "I'll chop you! I'll chop you good! I'll chop you so much, not even _Wolverine_ can identify you!" A blond man with white bird-like wings pursued Paige. He was Warren Worthington III, aka Angel. His mutation gave him wings to fly, and blood that had healing properties. He was also Paige's boyfriend, despite their age difference.

"Paige!" Warren yelled. "Paige, put that down! You're going to hurt somebody!"

"NOT TILL JUBILEE'S BLOOD IS SPREAD ALL OVER THIS BUILDING LIKE BUTTER ON TOAST!" Paige screamed.

"AND THE POSSE CONTINUES TO GIVE CHASE!" Jubilee crowed.

"Oh, man…" Bishop moaned.

"Lucas…what just happened?" Sage blinked.

"I dunno." Bishop shrugged. "I guess Jubilee started teasing Paige about 'Hatgate'." 'Hatgate' was the name of the incident where Jubilee accidentally discovered Paige and Warren getting intimate with the help of a cowboy hat. **(1)** It became a big running joke throughout the Institute, and rumor had it several non-X-Men knew of the incident. A southern-accented cross between a scream and a monstrous roar was heard, which made Bishop wince. "I guess I shouldn't have said that."

"Indeed." Sage nodded in agreement. Suddenly, Professor Charles Xavier's voice was heard in their heads. Xavier, the founder of the X-Men, was a very powerful telepath.

_I have heard news of a new mutant in Detroit. I require the XSE team in the War Room, please._ He summoned.

"At least he says please, unlike Frosty." Bishop shrugged. He started humming a song as he left, Sage right behind him.

"Killer Queen." Sage identified the song. "I didn't know you like 70s music."

"I can't help it." Bishop shrugged. "Whenever Emma is mentioned, I think of that song. Thank Kid Razor. He cracks those jokes around her, and he sings it. Drives her nuts."

"He may be annoying and full of himself, but I do have to admit, sometimes, he can hit the mark." Sage agreed with a chuckle. "I wonder what would happen if Razor found out about 'Hatgate'."

"Oh great, give him _another_ thing to joke about." Bishop rolled his eyes. "As if Razor can't shut up already."

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"Mom? Dad? Hello?" Bobby called out as he walked into the living room. "Oh yeah, they're both at work right now." The teenage guitarist shrugged. "Oh well." He flopped down on the couch and put on the TV. "At least I'll have a nice quiet afternoon to myself today."

"Quiet? While I'm here?" Ronnie Rocker chuckled as he appeared next to Bobby on the couch. He was holding a bag of spectral popcorn. Bobby blinked.

"Where'd you get that?" Bobby pointed at the bag of popcorn. Ronnie shrugged.

"I can do anything." Ronnie shrugged. "Being a ghost has its advantages. What's on the tube?"

"Let's see…" Bobby flicked through the channels. "…History of tanks…Realty show marathon…reality show marathon…reality show marathon…reality show marathon…"

"Don't people use scripts anymore?" Ronnie grumbled.

"News…" Bobby continued droning, until he heard something interesting. "Hello…" He turned on the news.

"And in Detroit today, one of their most notorious gangs, the Fuzzy Dice Gang…" The news reporter announced. "…Don't let the name fool you, these guys are tough. Anyway, they were captured by a mysterious vigilante who some have described as wielding energy beams similar to Kid Razor…" Bobby and Ronnie's eyes widened and looked at each other.

"Something tells me that Kid Razor had better get his guitar-powered butt to Detroit and meet this mysterious vigilante…" Ronnie told his protégé. Bobby nodded.

**_Next: Detroit Rock City, Part 2_** _Kid Razor travels to Detroit to meet the mysterious vigilante, but he finds out he's not the only one who is interested in him._

**(1) – See "Uncanny XSE"**


	45. Detroit Rock City, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "It's obvious where all the talent went in that family!" – Mr. Garrison, South Park**

Chapter 35: Detroit Rock City, Part 2

**Cleveland, Ohio**

On top of a skyscraper, Kid Razor, Cleveland's Favorite Son, was talking to what appeared to be a Hispanic teenage girl with black-and-blonde hair, dressed in a yellow-and-gold costume with a scabbard containing a sword tied across her back. She was actually an alien princess named Ramada. Ramada had originally come to Earth seeking to take the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll as a mate, but she ended up being drawn into the world of local superheroics. Floating next to her was what appeared to be a small floating disco ball. The disco ball was actually Altoc, Ramada's robotic companion.

"Okay, Ramada…" Razor sighed. "The Kid of Rock has to go to Detroit."

"Detroit…" Altoc thought out loud. "This 'Detroit' is another one of your major American cities, correct?"

"Yup." Razor nodded with a grin. "Detroit is, alright! The Motor City!"

"Why do you not wish for me to accompany you, beloved?" Ramada asked. "I would be a great help to you there. It could be dangerous." Razor scoffed.

"Relax, babe." Razor reassured. "The Kid of Rock will be fine. He's handled worse. It's just some new costumed clown pulling a Kid of Rock-ripoff routine. The Kid of Rock'll just go to Detroit and let him know who the top dog in the rock 'n' roll yard is." Razor started to laugh. "Besides, the Kid of Rock needs you here to watch over Cleveland while he's gone…" He pulled out his Warper device and created a portal nearby. "Oh, and Ramada…no incidents like with that whole little mini-Predator invasion."

"Indeed." Altoc agreed. "Ramada, you must learn to control your temper at times." Ramada sighed.

"It is not my fault. Your planet's culture and laws are so restrictive." Ramada groaned, shaking her head. "How can I, a warrior princess, enjoy a battle under these conditions?" Razor shook his own head.

"Yeah, the Kid of Rock can't just walk up to a person and punch them out…well, except for that jerk Larry. He's gotten his ass kicked by every costume in town." Razor started to snicker. "Hell, the Kid of Rock could tell you of the incident involving that blue-haired jerk, the Black Cat, and a garbage dumpster…but I don't think you could handle it. But the Kid of Rock will tell you one thing…" The blond-maned teenage super-rocker smiled happily as his green eyes glazed over. "…The Kid of Rock got a great view that day…heh heh…" Ramada crossed her arms.

"I can handle any story you tell me, no matter how graphic." Ramada snorted.

"Meh, the Kid of Rock'll tell you later. Take care! And remember, no incidents! The last thing the Kid of Rock needs is his hometown wrecked…again." Razor jumped through the portal, and it vanished behind him.

**Detroit, Michigan**

A black jet flew over the skyline of the Motor City. The jet belonged to the X-Men. In particular, it was the transport of the team of X-Men known as the XSE or Xavier Sanctions Executive, a mutant police force: The Kenyan weather-manipulator codenamed Storm, the Canadian adamantium-clawed feral codenamed Wolverine, the telepath with a computer-like mind codename Sage, the future-born kinetic energy-absorbing Bishop, the energy-blasting Jubilee, the stretchy-skinned mutant codenamed Skin, the epidermic metamorph codenamed Husk, and the white-winged Angel.

"So this is Detroit." Paige looked out the window.

"Yeah, it's kind of nice." Warren agreed in a tone that indicated he was impressed, and slightly confused. "I expected it to be…smoggier."

"Could be worse." Jubilee shrugged, filing her nails. "This place could be the hometown of a generally-considered lame incarnation of a legendary super-team." The others looked at her with puzzled expressions. Jubilee blinked and looked at them. "What?"

"Jubes…" Angelo looked at his girlfriend like he had just found out she was actually from outer space. "…what the **_hell_** are you talking about?" Jubilee shrugged.

"Just trying to be funny."

"If this vigilante turns out to be another Kid Razor, God help us all." Warren groaned.

"Yeah, especially if he finds out about 'Hatgate'." Jubilee snickered. Paige glared.

"I swear to God, Jubilee…" Paige growled threateningly. "You had better not tell that arrogant loudmouth jerk! I know you and him have history, but if you tell that idiot, I'll _never_ be able to live it down!"

"Relax, Paige." Storm reassured. "I'm sure Jubilee won't tell Razor."

"Like he needs to be _told_ stuff? By _people?_" Jubilee rolled her eyes. She looked out the window, when she noticed a portal open up near the jet, and a rainbow-colored streak flew out. "Oh my God! It's Razor!" The XSE turned and noticed the streak. However, they were also spotted. A flying Kid Razor spotted the jet.

"Well, tie the Kid of Rock's mother down and call the Kid of Rock Queen." Razor snickered. "The X-Men!" The Fearless One flew alongside the jet.

"Oh, my God. He's here, too." Bishop sighed.

"I'm not surprised." Sage smirked. "They say this vigilante uses energy similar to Razor. It's no surprise to me Kid Razor would want to investigate this himself." Razor tapped the window.

"What do you want, kid?" Logan grunted.

"The Kid of Rock wants the super-size Big Mac meal with a Diet Coke and…" Razor yelled loudly into the window. Storm sighed.

"He always does this." The weather-manipulator shook her head. "I'll land." The X-Jet found a place to land: A park. The jet landed vertically, Razor not far behind. The Ultimate Rockstar ran up to the door.

"Hey! Where's the Kid of Rock's food?" Razor demanded jokingly as the door opened. Warren stood at the door with his arms crossed.

"What do you want, Razor?" Warren grumbled. Razor crossed his arms and shot a smirk.

"What every superhero musician like yours truly wants." Razor quipped. "Action, adventure, excitement, inspiration, women…" He continued talking as the XSE disembarked.

"You're here about the vigilante, right?" Storm inquired.

"Damn right, babe." Razor smirked up at the weather goddess.

"This is about that vigilante, isn't it?" Sage reasoned. "It is the only reason you are in Detroit right now, Razor."

"Yeah, you're dead on the rockin' mark, babe." Razor nodded. "Evidently the little punk thinks he can rip off the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. So, the Kid of Rock is here to let him know there's only room in this world for _one_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll." He then realized something. "Hey wait a minute…" Razor narrowed his eyes at the XSE. "You guys are essentially the police of the mutant world. What in the name of Bon Jovi is going on?"

"Chuck detected mutant activity here in Detroit." Logan explained.

"There's got to be a connection. There's too many coincidences. I'm here, you're here, I'm good-looking as usual…" Razor shook his head. The XSE rolled their eyes. "…and in this business, coincidences always lead to a connection."

"How've you been, Razor?" Jubilee grinned.

"Ah, I've been good. Been a while since Sydney." Razor nodded. **(1)** He then let out a smirk. "Heard you been makin' time with the human rubberband over there since then." Razor pointed at Angelo.

"Yup!" Jubilee grinned, hugging Angelo. The gray-skinned Latino blushed. "He's so cute!"

"Save it fer later, Jubes." Logan sighed. Ororo chuckled.

"Oh, Logan…" She smiled, shaking her head. Razor shot an inquisitive look at Logan and Ororo.

"Don't ask, Blondie." Logan grunted.

"Fine." Razor smirked. "It's obvious. You've been shaggin' her, haven't you?" Logan rolled his eyes. "You devil!" Ororo started laughing.

"You assume too much, Razor." Ororo laughed. Razor groaned.

"Wolverine, the Kid of Rock thought you were cool, man!" The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll groaned at the grizzled Canadian. "Maybe the Kid of Rock should show you how it's done."

"He wishes." Bishop whispered to Sage, who snickered at that.

"Kid, I like ya, so I'm gonna warn ya, I don't think you can handle 'Ro." Logan smirked, making the rest of the XSE snicker. Razor looked at Paige.

"Hey Paigey." Razor waved. "How are things between you and the Wingman over here?" Razor pointed at Warren.

"Fine." Paige answered flatly, crossing her arms.

"Maybe we should get going." Warren suggested. "That vigilante isn't gonna wait around. Maybe he'd like to join the X-Men."

"He'll have to be warned about the water." Razor snickered. "The Kid of Rock has heard the water's the reason why so many damn X-Chicks are pregnant right now."

"If you say so, Razor." Sage sighed.

"How many, six?" Razor asked.

"No, Razor. Four: Emma, Rogue, Jean, and Wolfsbane." Sage answered. She then noticed that Razor's face was pointed at her chest. The telepath shook her head. Typical Razor. He never could look a superheroine in the face. "Razor, my face is up here."

"What?" Razor blinked innocently.

"Classic Razor." Jubilee snickered.

"Indeed." Storm nodded.

"Anyway, we should check out the area of the vigilante's last known sighting…" Sage started to outline her plan, but Razor wasn't listening. The Fearless One looked at Paige.

"Hey Husk." Razor piped up.

"Yes?" The Kentuckian sighed. She really wasn't in the mood to deal with Kid Razor at the moment. She was still recovering from all the jokes Jubilee and the other X-Men cracked around her.

"Is it true that in Kentucky, they still use the _Pony Express?_" Razor grinned. Paige's jaw dropped.

**The old building in Detroit**

The gadget bleeped. The scientist, Dr. Bonham, leapt up from the couch and ran to it.

"Ha ha!" He whooped. "Yes! Two big sources of the Power of Rock have just arrived in Detroit! Alright! Now I can get what I need to prove my theories!"

**_Next: Detroit Rock City,Part 3_** _Kid Razor and the XSE go to the last place the vigilante was spotted, a mall, where they encounter a couple new friends. Meanwhile, the mysterious Dr. Bonham tries to track down our Power of Rock-charged hero._

**(1) – Jubilee last met Kid Razor in "Uncanny Deadpool"**


	46. Detroit Rock City, Part 3

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "I got a little gift for ya. Sorry I didn't have time to wrap it."**

Chapter 36: Detroit Rock City, Part 3

**A Mall in Detroit**

The XSE, the team of law-enforcing mutants, were standing in front of the mall. They were dressed in civilian clothes. In actuality, they were using holographic image inducers to cover their costumes, so they could blend in.

"Are you sure this is the last place he was spotted, Sage?" Storm asked, brushing a strand of snow white hair back behind her ear. The dark-haired mutant woman nodded.

"Yes. I checked into Detroit's police records. And according to them, this was his last known location." Sage confirmed with a nod.

"Oh, boy…" Jubilee stared up at the mall, joy shining in her eyes, her mouth forming a silly grin, and drool escaping from one side of her mouth. "Mall good…mall very good…"

"Jubilee, helloooo…" Angelo waved his hand in front of his girlfriend's face. "You in there, girl? Yo, is my girlfriend in there?"

"Jubilation, we're not here to shop. We're here on business." Storm reminded the firework-generator calmly. Jubilee then pouted. Logan chuckled.

"Relax, kid. It's good for ya." The feral Canadian chuckled. "Besides, we need to wean ya from the mall anyway. My credit card begged me for it." Ororo smiled upon hearing Logan's joke, indicating her amusement.

"The Kid of Rock says, he doesn't think the Detroit PD would be too happy with you hacking their records." A familiar voice snickered. The XSE turned around and saw Kid Razor landing. "The Kid of Rock's been flyin' around, hoping to catch the little wannabe in the air. As you can tell, the Kid of Rock had less luck than a black cat in Vegas."

"NEEEARGH!" Paige Guthrie screamed in rage. She moved to run towards Jubilee, because she wanted to wring the firework generator's neck. Jubilee immediately ran towards Logan, hiding behind him. Paige was being held back by Warren and Bishop. "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LOUDMOUTHED PIECE OF GARBAGE!"

"Meh, I've been called worse." Razor shrugged jokingly.

"Paige, calm down!" Warren exclaimed. "OW! That hurt!"

"Paige, no biting!" Bishop snapped. "Hey!" Paige wriggled out of his grip and tried to make another grab at Jubilee. However, Logan was able to hold her back, and Warren and Bishop managed to recover enough to help out.

"I'M NEVER GONNA LIVE IT DOWN THANKS TO YOU!" Paige screamed at Jubilee.

"Hey, what'd **_I_** do?" Jubilee exclaimed.

"Oh, come on!" Angelo groaned. "It's not like it's some big secret or anything. All the Institute knows about it!"

"YOU TOLD RAZOR! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD KID RAZOR OF ALL PEOPLE!" Paige screamed.

"I _what?_" Jubilee blinked. "Why would I tell Razor?"

"Don't lie, Lee!" Paige snapped. "We all know you and the Kid of Rock over here have history! I wouldn't be surprised if you told him! You know about him and his mouth!"

"Oh, give the Kid of Rock a break." Razor groaned.

"I didn't tell Razor anything, Hayseed." Jubilee grunted. "Honestly."

"Yeah, right!" Paige snorted.

"_Why_ would I tell Razor?" Jubilee crossed her arms.

"Because you're just like him! You can't keep your big mouth shut!" Paige exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, like it's _my_ fault that the entire Institute knows about you and Angel here's little…preference." Jubilee smirked.

"Can we _please_ worry about this later?" Logan groaned.

"Yeah." Warren agreed. "You two can fight later."

"Aren't you going to wear an image inducer, Razor?" Bishop asked. "No offense, but you're going to stick out like a sore thumb."

"I'm a rock star, Future-Boy." Razor snickered. "The Kid of Rock is _supposed_ to be noticed. Besides, it might bring the little punk out."

"We're gonna get swarmed with autograph seekers." Paige grumbled.

"Why? You didn't release a tape of you and the Featherhead over here, did you?" Razor teased Paige, pointing at Warren with his thumb. Paige growled.

"Do I look like Pamela Anderson to you?" The Kentuckian growled at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.

"Well, to be honest, yeah." Razor answered coolly. "The Kid of Rock didn't want to say anything because if he said you did, he'd have to make a comment about you having plastic surgery, and those puppies look real to the Kid of Rock." Angelo started laughing,

"Oh, man! I'm glad I'm alive again! If I was dead, I wouldn't have been able to hear that joke!" The stretchy-skinned Latino laughed. Paige glared at Angelo.

"Not. Helping. Angelo." Paige snarled.

"Paige, let's just calm down. You know Razor. Just don't react." Warren sighed. "How did you find out, Razor?" Razor smirked.

"The Kid of Rock has his sources." Razor smirked. "Let's just say that a little birdie told the Kid of Rock." Paige's jaw dropped.

"WARREN!" Paige screamed. "YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-!"

"Hey, what're you talking about? I didn't say anything!" Warren exclaimed.

"Paige, calm down!" Storm ordered sharply. "We can deal with this later. Right now, we must track the vigilante down and find some clues as to his identity." Logan nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. Besides, I want to go five minutes without some soap opera crap." Logan muttered.

"You and me both." Razor agreed. "Besides, not the Kid of Rock's fault that Blondie here is into pony rides."

"_AAAAARGH!_"

**The warehouse in Detroit**

The roof of the warehouse opened up, and a figure flew out at an incredible speed.

_With this little invention, I'll be able to get exactly what I need for my studies._ The figure thought happily.

**The mall in Detroit**

"Please please please please please please please _pleeeeeeeeeeeease!_" Jubilee whined. "I'll be good! I won't run into any stores! Pleeeeeeeeeeeasemmph!" She was wrapped up from her ankles to her shoulders by gray skin. Angelo was dragging her behind him (He had just put more skin over her mouth to keep her quiet) as the XSE, alongside Razor, strode through the mall. Razor was signing several autographs.

"Ah, the Kid of Rock loves his fans, as much as Farm Girl over there loves playing Midnight Cowgirl." Razor smiled smugly as he signed a kid's shirt.

"Grrrrr…" Paige growled. "Urge to kill rising…rising…"

"Razor, I think you had better stop with the jokes before Paige loses her temper." Sage suggested. "And I have seen Paige when she loses her temper. It is not pretty."

"Meh, nothing the Kid of Rock can't handle." Razor smirked. "You should've seen Tusk last Christmas, when he got nailed in the groin by an icy snowball fired by a bazooka during a bar brawl." He started to laugh. "Now _that_ was a temper tantrum. Although to be fair, he wasn't thinking straight because of all the pain he was in…"

"Okay, now here's the plan." Storm stopped the team and started to outline her plan.

"Dibs on the food court!" Razor raised his hand. Storm continued on, ignoring Razor. "Hey!"

"Bishop, you take Warren and Sage, and check the top floor for any clues."

"I'll make sure those two don't start making out in the dressing rooms." Warren grinned.

"Oh, shut up." Sage groaned.

"Yeah, grow up, Featherhead." Bishop smirked. Storm sighed.

"Logan, you and I shall check the second floor."

"The Kid of Rock'll come with you to make sure you two stay out of the dressing rooms." Razor snickered.

"Ah shaddap." Logan jeered.

"I guess that leaves us kids to check the ground floor." Angelo deduced.

"At least I won't have to listen to any more cowboy jokes from Mr. Ultimate Rockstar." Paige grumbled.

"Hey, maybe the Kid of Rock can get the mall's PA guy to play Johnny Cash or something." Razor joked.

"DO YOU WANT TO DIE?" Paige yelled.

**A little while later**

Angelo, Jubilee, and Paige walked into the food court.

"The adults told us to look around and see if we can get any clues about the vigilante. Why not check the food court?" Jubilee grinned. The three young X-Men continued walking as they talked.

"Uh, Jubes…I don't think that's such a good idea." Paige countered. "The others may think we're trying to goof off…" She noticed Jubilee about to collide with someone. "Jubes, look out!"

"Huh wha Ah!" She knocked into a teenage guy, about seventeen. The guy fell on his butt, but Jubes got caught by Angelo. "Oh, God! I should've, like, seen where I was going! I'm sorry!"

"It's alright." The kid waved it off and got up. "I'm fine." The three mutants got a look at the kid. He had short brown hair, brown eyes, and his slim, yet athletic frame was dressed in a yellow t-shirt tucked into a pair of blue jeans, and a black letterman jacket with green sleeves and the orange letters "J" and "C" on the right breast. "Sorry about that."

"It's my fault." Jubilee waved. "I'm Jubilation Lee. Everyone calls me Jubilee. This is my boyfriend Angelo Espinosa, and that's Paige Guthrie."

"Cool." The kid nodded. "My name is Johnny Carson Thompson. I was named after the talk show host, but everyone calls me JC." He looked at Jubilee. "…Hey wait, I heard of you. You used to run the Kid Razor fan club."

"Yeah, that was me." Jubilee laughed nervously. "But I grew up. No offense."

"Meh." JC shrugged. "It's cool. I also heard about you from those news broadcasts of the X-Men."

"Hoo boy." Angelo winced.

"It's so cool." JC grinned. "To think I'm meeting a real live superhero."

"I know." Jubilee smiled with pride. "Considering I recently gained newer kick-ass powers."

"Here she goes again." Paige sighed.

"Anyway, I'll introduce you to a friend of mine." JC brought the three to his table. There was also sitting an African-American kid, with his hair in a small shaggy afro, dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a ZZ Top t-shirt. "Guys, this is my friend, Cody Wilson. Cody, this is Angelo, Paige, and Jubilee. They're superheroes."

"Can you keep the superhero bit down please?" Paige sighed. "We're trying to find information about the vigilant running around in Detroit. We think he may be a mutant."

"Maybe we should ask him if he's into cowboy hats." Angelo snickered.

"God, shut up!" Paige snapped, whacking Angelo upside the head.

"Hey, don't hit him!" Jubilee snapped. She then whapped Angelo upside the head.

"Ow! What'd I do?" Angelo held his head.

**_Next: Detroit Rock City, Part 4_** _As the young members of the XSE get to know their new friends, Dr. Bonham attacks, drawing out Kid Razor and the mutant heroes. And the vigilante stands revealed._


	47. Detroit Rock City, Part 4

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You are nuts! N-V-T-S, nuts!"**

Chapter 47: Detroit Rock City, Part 4

**A Mall in Detroit**

"Man, this sucks." Kid Razor scowled. The Fearless One was sitting on a bench outside a store. Sitting next to him was the Canadian feral mutant known as Wolverine.

"I'm with you there, kid." Logan agreed. "I can't believe 'Ro got the bug. _Storm_ of all people."

"That's what you get for hanging around Jubilee all the time." Razor snickered. "Ol' Stormy always admonished Jubilee, right?"

"Yup." Logan nodded.

"Well, now she's got the shopping bug." Razor told the feral. "You know that whole Montezuma's Revenge thing?"

"Hey, I think I know what you're getting at." Logan realized. "This mall thing 'Ro has now. Of course! We should call it Jubilee's Revenge."

"Yeah! The Kid of Rock is all over that like a shark on a Led Zeppelin groupie!" Razor grinned. The heroes then shared a high-five. "You think we should go in there and get her or something?" Logan shrugged.

"I guess so. Come on." Wolverine got up. Razor quickly followed and the two walked into the store. A couple minutes later, the windows flashed.

"SUH-WEET SIX-STRINGS!"

"AW GOD!" A screaming Logan and Razor ran out of the store.

"Man…" Logan panted. "_Never_ interrupt a Weather Goddess's shopping spree."

"The Kid of Rock hears that." Razor agreed. Logan's comlink activated with a beep. "You might want to get that." Logan pulled out the red pair of cyber-shades from his pocket. The grizzled feral sighed.

"Kid, I'll never get used to these blasted things." Logan sighed as he put them on.

"You look like a character in a science fiction movie with those things on." Razor shrugged.

"Ah, shaddap." Logan mock jeered. He pressed a button on the side of the shades. "Logan here."

"It's Skin, amigo." Angelo's voice was heard on the other end. However, it contained a slight tinge of fear. But then again, he was put on the receiving end of a special talk from Logan. **(1)**

"What's up, kid?" Logan inquired.

"Who is it?" Razor answered.

"Espinosa."

"Ah." Razor nodded. "Hey, uh…can you call for pizza on that thing?" The Kid of Rock pointed at the cyber-shades.

"Jubilee and Husk have made contact with two teenagers who may know something about the vigilante in the food court." Angelo reported. "…and they recognized Jubilee and Husk."

"Big surprise." Razor scoffed. "How many times have the X-Men made the news?" The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll then smirked. "It's pretty funny, considering that you X-Folks normally try to operate in secret." Logan rolled his eyes.

"We work from a school, Razor. There's going to be _some_ publicity." The feral mutant groaned. "Just stay there, Skin. I'll alert the others." Logan shut off the shades.

"You do look ridiculous in those shades, you know." Razor remarked. "But then again Wolverine, you never could pull off sunglasses."

"Ah, let's just find a way to get 'Ro out of that freakin' store." Logan grumbled, throwing off the glasses and putting them back in his pocket.

**The Food Court**

"This is so amazing!" JC grinned. He and Cody sat with the three junior XSE members Jubilation Lee, Paige Guthrie, and Angelo Espinosa, also known as the former Generation X members Jubilee, Husk, and Skin, at a table in the food court. "I can't believe that I am actually meeting members of a real life team of superheroes. You guys are here about that vigilante running around, huh?"

_Is this guy psychic or something?_ Paige mumbled to herself mentally.

"Uhm…" Jubilee struggled to find the next question. "Uh…how…how do you know…so much?"

"JC here is a big superhero fan." Cody explained. "He's a big fan of costumes. Heck, the man has a Tigra poster in his room, heh heh." JC blushed.

"_Duuuude!_" JC groaned embarrassedly. "Shut up!"

"A Tigra poster?" Angelo snickered. "What's so embarrassing about that?" Jubilee glared at the gray-skinned mutant. "Gimme a break, Jubilee! They haven't made posters of you yet!"

"Oh, Angelo…" Jubilee groaned.

"What?" The gray-skinned Latino mutant blinked.

"You guys are insane." JC blinked.

"You noticed?" Cody rolled his eyes. "So…any of you guys ever met Kid Razor?"

"Don't get me started on that arrogant, self-centered, loudmouthed, lecherous, inhuman…" Paige started sulking and cursing under her breath. The two boys blinked.

"Uh, let's just say Paige has some…issues with the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll." Jubilee snickered.

"And it was _your_ fault that those issues came about in the first place!" Paige snapped at the Asian mutant.

"Oh, come on! It was an accident!" Jubilee groaned.

"What happened?" JC blinked.

"None of your business!" Paige grumbled.

"Mmm…" Cody winced, rubbing his head.

"You okay, man?" JC wondered.

"Yeah." Cody winced. "I just gotta get up. I don't feel so good." Cody got up and left the table. JC sighed and ran a hand through his brown hair.

"Is he alright?" Paige asked concernedly, forgetting her anger for the moment.

"Yeah, he's just been getting these headaches on occasion." JC sighed. Meanwhile, Cody had raced to the bathroom.

"Uhn." Cody moaned, leaning on the sink. His headache intensified. "Uhn…" He gritted his teeth in an effort to will away the headache, but it didn't do him much good. "Ah…" He craned his neck upwards and opened his eyes. "No…not again…" Cody moaned. His dark eyes started glowing in rainbow colors.

**On the second floor**

"AGH!" Razor exclaimed, falling to his knees and rubbing his head.

"Razor, are you alright?" Storm asked concernedly. Logan and Razor managed to get the Kenyan weather manipulator out of the store earlier.

"Uhn…" Razor waved her off. "I'm good. The Kid of Rock is cool. Ah…" He got up to his feet. "The Kid of Rock sensed something."

"What?" Storm asked.

"The Kid of Rock sensed a big sudden concentration of the Power of Rock. Somebody is channeling it somehow, just like my guitar can." Razor grunted. "The Kid of Rock is able to sense the Power of Rock in people. And someone is holding a lot of it." Logan and Storm looked at each other.

"You're kidding, right?" Wolverine shook his head. An explosion was heard from downstairs, accompanied by the sounds of screaming people. "Aw, crap!"

"Holy Bon Jovi! That don't sound good." Razor winced.

**The Food Court**

"ARGH!" JC, Paige, Jubilee, and Angelo were sent flying by an energy blast. The source was Dr. Bonham, dressed in a futuristic-looking purple-and-blue armored costume. The helmet was purple and had a horned clear faceplate.

"Wha-wha…" JC mumbled.

"Uhn…" The three mutants groaned as they got to their feet.

"Cute, pal. Real cute." Jubilee snarled, eyes starting to glow.

"Oh, boy!" Dr. Bonham grinned. "That Power of Rock source is right near by! Soon, I'll be able to prove its power can be harnessed."

"Who are you?" Paige snapped.

"I am Dr. Wallace Bonham." Dr. Bonham answered. "And I've come to find the Power of Rock."

"Kid Razor is here, pal." Jubilee snarled.

"Kid Razor?" An unfamiliar voice scoffed. "Ha!" The source exploded a wall, and marched through the hole he made. The figure was a teenage male, with platinum blonde hair in a style like that of the legendary guitar player Saul "Slash" Hudson. He was dressed in a red costume with a yellow lower torso and legs, with red boots that had black-and-yellow fur on them. On his chest was an emblem of a black 5-pointed star with a stylized yellow "R" on the chest. He also had on a black leather jacket with red-and-yellow sleeves and fringe. On the back was the same chest emblem, only the star was red. His face was covered by red, yellow, and black face-paint. "He ain't nothing compared to me!" Beeping was heard from Dr. Bonham's helmet's HUD.

"Wow!" He exclaimed delightedly. "An actual source of the Power of Rock! Yes!"

"Who…who…" Jubilee blinked. The kid smirked at her.

"I see you're lost for words, babe." He smirked. "I don't blame you. After all…you are in the presence…of the ever-rockin' Renegade!"

**_Next: Detroit Rock City, Part 5!_** _Renegade stands revealed! And Kid Razor, the original Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, demands an explanation of who he is._

**(1) – In "Uncanny Wolverine", Logan gave Angelo Espinosa/Skin his version of "The Talk". It freaked the poor guy out. **


	48. Detroit Rock City, Part 5

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "N…N…N…NOT…INTERESTED!" – The Grey Hulk to Selene, _Marvel Comics Presents #78_**

_**Chapter 48: Detroit Rock City: Part 5**_

**The mall in Detroit**

"Renegade?" Paige scratched her head. The crowd had backed up.

"Wow…" JC's jaw dropped. "Renegade. That's a cool name."

"Heh." Renegade smirked at Dr. Bonham. "And what're you supposed to be, you Iron Man Wannabe? Iron Boy?"

"I'm Dr. William Bonham." Dr. Bonham introduced. "And I'm a scientist. I study the Power of Rock."

"Really?" Renegade crossed his arms, his tone and facial expression indicating that he _really_ did not care who this armored clown was or what he was doing here.

"I wish to learn more about the Power of Rock." Dr. Bonham explained.

"Really?" Renegade scoffed. "If your reasons are so scientific, why in the name of Foghat did you blow a hole in the wall?"

"It was merely to get your attention." Dr. Bonham explained. "I didn't intend to hurt anyone."

"I say we whup his ass." Jubilee grunted. "I can take him! I took down Exodus all by myself!"

"Uh, Jubes…" Angelo started to counter his girlfriend when he was interrupted. He was interrupted by a beam of a certain rainbow-colored energy fly through the air, right between Dr. Bonham and Renegade.

"Alright alright alright alright alright alright **alright!**" Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor announced his presence as he emerged from the crowd, the head of his guitar smoking. "Alright! What's going on here?" The rest of the XSE made their appearance. Bishop looked at the Renegade.

"**_This_** is the vigilante?" Bishop chuckled, pointing at Renegade. "He looks like a cheap Kid Razor ripoff!" Renegade scowled.

"Excuse me?" He turned his head at the bald mutant cop. His face formed a scowl. "Say that again. The Renegade doesn't have superhuman hearing, but he can hear an insult a mile off!" He growled at the cop. "Say it again, punk!"

"Whoa…" Paige blinked. She quickly turned to Jubilee. "And you said once that **_my_** temper was bad?"

"When did I say that?" Jubilee blinked.

"Hold it, kid. We're the Xavier Sanctions Executive. We just want to talk to you." Logan flashed his badge. Renegade crossed his arms.

"You guys are the mutant police. So?" Renegade scowled. "I didn't do anything, fuzzface."

"We know." Storm answered gently. "My name is Ororo Munroe. I am called Storm. I am a mutant."

"So is the Renegade. What's the big deal?" Renegade answered. "Hello…" He looked the weather goddess up and down, a grin on his face. "Well, if the Renegade is under arrest anyway, he wouldn't mind you cuffin' him." Logan struggled not to laugh. Razor raised an eyebrow.

"He wishes." A sniggering Sage whispered to a snickering Bishop.

"Charming." Ororo shot Renegade an even look.

"Wow." Angelo blinked. "I'm surprised she didn't roast his ass."

"We work for a school for mutants." Warren explained. "We can help you deal with your powers."

"The Kid of Rock thinks he's got a good handle on them already." Razor snorted. "It's obvious what Renegade here is packin'. Somehow, he is able to access the Power of Rock."

"But isn't the Power of Rock a _mystical_ thing?" Sage blinked.

"Uh-huh." Razor nodded. "Which leads the Kid of Rock to wonder…how in the **_hell_** is a mutant able to access the Power of Rock?"

"Selene has an X-Gene, and she packs magic." Sage reminded.

"You don't need an X-Gene to pack magic!" Razor countered. "If you did, then that old kook Doc Strange wouldn't have a job!" He then turned to Renegade. "That still doesn't answer the questions that have been running through the Kid of Rock's head all this time: Who are you, and where do you get off copying the Kid of Rock's act? The Kid of Rock would sue you, but the Kid of Rock prefers to settle things with his fists."

"Who am I?" Renegade laughed arrogantly. "_Who am **I?**_ I'm the rockin' Renegade, baby! Ow! The _New_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll!"

"Uh oh…" Jubilee groaned.

"Why? What's wrong?" JC blinked.

"Well, JC…you see…'Kid of Rock 'n' Roll' is one of Razor's first nicknames." Jubilee explained. "That's the nickname Razor has been referred to by the most. That one is very close to his heart."

"Even though he's gained a million nicknames since then." Warren sighed.

"One of them should be 'Heartless Pervert'." Paige grumbled.

"Oh, will you let it go, Paige?" Angelo groaned. "It could be worse."

"Yes." Sage nodded in agreement. "You and Warren could've taped it, and Razor could've gotten a hold of it." Warren's jaw dropped.

"Aw geez, Sage…" Warren groaned in an exasperated manner. "If that happened, it'd be all over the 'Net."

"Yeah?" Razor retorted at Renegade. "Well, yours truly is the _Original_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, and you can't beat an original!"

"Kid, maybe you should calm down." Logan suggested. However, Razor ignored him.

"Coke tried to replace the original recipe of Coke a long while back with a new formula, and it bombed like giving Jethro Tull the Grammy for Best Metal Album!"

"You should know about Jethro Tull, Blade Boy! Your mama was in Jethro Tull!" Renegade retorted.

"Nah, the lead singer looked more like someone who would give birth to you!" Razor scowled back.

"Oh, great." Storm sighed as the heroes, JC, and Dr. Bonham watched the two Power-of-Rock-charged teenagers argue. "Put two teenagers in a room. Add the Power of Rock…"

"…Add on the fact that they're a couple of egomaniacs…" Bishop added.

"And let the fun begin." Warren sighed.

"Evidently, when two people are highly charged with the Power of Rock, they become easily agitated, and they become full of pride." Dr. Bonham noted. Both Razor and Renegade turned and glared at the armored scientist.

"OH SHUT UP!" They snapped in unison. They then let rip with beams of the Power of Rock, Renegade from his fists, and Razor from his enchanted guitar. The beams slammed into Bonham's armor…only to have a shocking effect.

"What in the-?" Logan's jaw dropped.

"Goddess…" Ororo gasped.

"What in the name of Van Halen?" Razor snarled.

"Oh…my…God!" Jubilee gasped.

"Hol-ee Hannah!" Paige's eyes widened.

"Aaaaaaa…ab-ab-ab-ab-ab…" Angelo stammered.

"Is that even _possible?_" JC mumbled.

"Oh, this is bad." Warren winced.

"Oh, those boys are **_ticked!_**" Bishop added with his own wince. Sage just moved so she could be behind Bishop.

"Oh, I can't look." The computer-minded telepath removed her shades and covered her eyes with her gloved hand. Dr. Bonham smirked.

"As you can tell, boys…" The scientist smirked, as his armor started to glow with a certain rainbow-colored energy aura. "I have researched the Power of Rock heavily. I designed this armor to absorb the Power of Rock and channel it to my own armor's power supply. In essence, the more you use the Power of Rock against me, the stronger my armor gets."

"Oh, that true?" Renegade smirked. He then grabbed one of the tables that littered the Food Court, easily lifting it like it was a box of Kleenex.

"Whoa." Razor blinked. "The Kid of Rock can't do that."

"Because you ain't the Renegade, pal." Renegade smirked. He then pitched the table like a Frisbee. The table hit the armored scientist in the gut hard, causing him to fly into a wall…and right through it. "Beat **that**, Blade-boy." Razor scowled. He looked at a downed Dr. Bonham, and then at the Renegade.

"Gladly!" Razor smirked. He took off his guitar and gripped the strap tight. The Ultimate Rockstar then started twirling his guitar around by his strap like Thor twirling his enchanted hammer, Mjolnir. "The Kid of Rock doesn't pull this stunt often, but when he does…its spectacular!" He noticed Dr. Bonham getting to his feet, and then he noticed a scaffold above him. Razor smirked. "HEAVY METAL BUZZSAW!" Razor pitched the twirling guitar. The guitar flew like a Frisbee towards the scaffolding, slicing it up like the tool the move was named after. The scaffolding fell on top of Dr. Bonham, and the guitar returned to Razor's hand. "Heh. What a wuss."

"Oh, _please!_" Renegade scoffed. "You couldn't have done that without me knocking him over!"

"Better watch it, little man." Razor scowled. "The Kid of Rock has been rockin' the stage and knocking the bad guys senseless a lot longer than you, pal."

"You must be getting pretty old then, Kid of Rock 'n' Roll!" Renegade cracked.

"Uh oh…" Sage covered her eyes.

"Oh, this won't be good." Jubilee winced.

"Alright, that's it!" Razor snapped, nailing Renegade in the mouth with a Heavy Metal Punch.

**_Next: Detroit Rock City, Part 6_** _Kid Razor and Renegade face off, forcing the XSE to face off against Dr. Bonham!_


	49. Detroit Rock City, Part 6

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "We'll see, honey…we'll see." – Homer Simpson to Lisa, the Simpsons**

_**Chapter 49: Detroit Rock City, Part 6**_

**A mall in Detroit**

_**WHAM!**_

The mysterious vigilante called Renegade screamed as he got blasted through the wall of the mall headfirst. He flew through the wall like a rainbow-aura-covered human bullet, and he landed on the parking lot.

"Oh, that's gonna hurt." Renegade muttered as he got up. "Looks like the old dog still has some bite in him." Razor flew out of the hole after him.

"The Kid of Rock heard that crack a mile off, pal!" Razor snapped, taking off into the air. He flew up to a great height, which only made the Renegade smirk slightly. His smirk widened as Razor power-dove towards him.

"You may have been able to hear my crack a mile off…" Renegade smirked. "But the Renegade can always _see you coming!_" The Detroit native called upon his superhuman agility, allowing him to dodge the Cleveland hero's dive-bomb attempt. "You may be able to hear a pin drop from across a state, but the Renegade can easily see any attack coming."

_Well, hit switch 625 and call the Kid of Rock Def Leppard!_ Razor mentally exclaimed. _Evidently, this Renegade jackass shares slightly different powers than yours truly. But how can that be? We both access the same mystical force. We should technically have the same powers. It appears we're both superhumanly agile and have super-quick reaction time, but whereas the Kid of Rock has superhuman hearing, Renegade has superhuman sight. And Renegade must have some degree of superhuman strength to be able to pull off that table trick._ **(1)** However, Razor's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of Renegade's fists glowing.

"You're gonna see, Kid Razor! The Renegade is the new Kid of Rock 'n' Roll!" He raised his fists, and the glow around his fists seemed to form a chain. Razor blinked.

"What in the name of Van Halen-?" Razor blinked in complete confusion. "How'd you do that with the Power of Rock, making stuff?"

"I dunno." Renegade shrugged as he twirled it over his head. "The Renegade just does it. And he does it good too, heh heh."

"Oh great, he thinks he's Lyja the Lazerfist." Razor muttered to himself, preparing himself for Renegade's attack. _Wonderful! He can make stuff. He can freakin' **make stuff** from the Power of Rock. What kind of powers does this weirdo have?_

**Inside the Detroit mall's food court**

Meanwhile, as the young Power of Rock-charged heroes called Kid Razor and Renegade slugged it out, Dr. Bonham managed to free himself from under the trapped scaffolding.

"Great. Leave us with the armored weirdo." Warren grunted as he took to the air. He turned his head, shooting an indignant look through the hole in the wall, which allowed him to see the brawling Razor and Renegade. "Yeah, thanks a lot, fellas! You really care!" The scientist looked at the XSE.

"Excuse me, I just gotta go get those two. I need them for my experiments." Dr. Bonham tried to flee, but a lightning bolt hit the ground just before his armored feet. The scientist turned and saw Ororo's hand crackling with electrical force.

"We don't take too kindly to people gettin' experimented on." Logan smirked, unsheathing his claws with their trademark _Snikt!_ "Even if they're goofy loudmouth kids that get superpowers from some magic created by rock music."

"And if one of them is a retard who can't stop cracking stupid cowboy jokes." Paige grumbled as she tore off her skin, revealing a metal covering underneath.

"I can take him." Jubilee snorted as her fists erupted in plasma 'fireworks'. "I whupped Exodus by myself. I made that little candy ass cry like a girl. He was all like 'Oh _please_ Miss Jubilee, don't hurt me anymore! Don't beat me silly all over Russia again! I'll do anything'!"

"Jubes…we're in the middle of fighting a bad guy here." Angelo reminded. "You can brag when we get home."

"You damn _right_ I will brag when we get home!" Jubilee responded. Yelling was heard from outside.

"THE RENEGADE IS GONNA STICK HIS BOOT SO FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT, YOU'RE GOING TO BE PASSING SHOELACES FOR A YEAR!" Renegade roared. **_WHAM!_**

"Oh, that had to hurt." Angelo winced.

"THE KID OF ROCK IS GOING TO BEAT YOU SO HARD, YOU'LL WAKE UP THINKING YOU'RE ONE OF HUSK'S MY LITTLE PONIES!" Razor roared back. **_BAM!_**

"Dammit, Razor…" Paige groused, pinching the bridge of her nose in annoyance. "Are you ever gonna shut up about that?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't let you stop me from advancing science." Dr. Bonham apologized, before blasting the XSE with the Power of Rock energy his armor stored up.

"Yipe!" Sage yelped as she dodged the rainbow-colored mystical energy beam. "How is he doing this?"

"Somehow, the guy managed to shanghai the magic stuff Razor and Renegade use." Logan growled.

"COME BACK HERE, YA JERK!" Renegade was heard yelling from outside, and his yell was accompanied by the sound of a crash and a car alarm beeping.

"NYEAH NYEAH! YOU SUCK!" Razor howled back, his yells accompanied by the sounds of a guitar hitting a jaw.

"Oh yes." Dr. Bonham grinned. "I have discovered a way to absorb the Power of Rock, and I also found a way to harness it and use it to make my armor stronger."

"Lovely." Sage nodded as she and Bishop pulled out their firearms. **(2)** They fired a pair of wires that hit the chestplate of Dr. Bonham's armor.

"Let's give this man a shocking reception, shall we?" Bishop smirked at Sage.

"Lucas, if I may be frank…that joke was terrible." Sage told the future-born police officer. "But I do agree with you about the reception." Arcs of lightning raced down the cords, right into the chest of Dr. Bonham.

"NYEEEEAAAAARGH!" The mad doctor screamed in pain.

"If that was all it took…" Ororo smirked, letting rip with her own lightning bolts. The combined electrical power hit Dr. Bonham hard. Meanwhile, the two Power of Rock-charged heroes known as Kid Razor and Renegade had continued to brawl and beat each other silly up and down the parking lot. However, the brawl eventually spilled out into the street, thanks to Renegade. The African-American young hero grabbed the Cleveland rocker and threw him into a newsstand. The Kid of Rock slammed into it spine-first, hitting the ground hard and wrecking the newsstand.

"Uhhh…" Razor moaned. He turned his head and noticed a copy of a men's magazine. The Ultimate Rockstar blinked. "Hello…" He picked it up and looked at the cover. "Heh." Razor smirked. "Looks like Frosty wasn't the first X-Chick to do this after all, heh heh. Looks like the Kid of Rock owes Winger 20 bucks after all." The Kid of Rock opened the magazine and turned it sideways. "Damn! This is better than a Van Halen concert!"

"Hey Blade Boy!" Renegade landed nearby. "What're you on, a coffee break?"

"Does the Kid of Rock have any coffee on him, smartass?" Razor scoffed, not even looking at the Detroit native.

"Hey, what're you doin' with that girlie mag?" Renegade blinked, pointing at the magazine.

"Check it out!" Razor smirked, showing the pages he was on to Renegade.

"Whoa!" The African-American mutant's jaw dropped. "Isn't it that-"

"Oh yeah." Razor grinned. "And something tells me that they wouldn't approve where she comes from."

"Where _does_ she come from, anyway?" Renegade scratched his head.

"She's from…I think." Razor scratched his head. "Somewhere, I dunno." Razor looked at the picture. "Nothin' the Kid of Rock hasn't seen before on her, either."

"Maybe next, they should do that angry blonde chick." Renegade suggested. "That is, if she can stop PMSin' for five minutes…"

"Hey, yeah kid!" Razor grinned. "The Kid of Rock likes that idea! It can have a Western setting and she could wear a cowboy hat!"

**Back in the mall**

_Energy Absorption engaged._ Dr. Bonham's armor started absorbing the electrical energy that was being fired at him by Storm, Sage, and Bishop. "As you can see, your powers cannot harm me."

"Goddess!" Storm exclaimed. "It's not stopping him!"

"Then maybe a set of claws'll do the job!" Logan smirked. With a feral roar, Wolverine charged the armored scientist, claws up, ready to slash the armor wide open. However, Dr. Bonham at the last second, created a forcefield from the electrical power that his armor absorbed. The claws bounced off the forcefield like light off a mirror. "AGH!" The feral Canadian was sent flying. He hit the wall behind the XSE.

"O Canada…" Logan mumbled as he fell to the floor.

"Logan!" Storm ran up to him. "Are you alright?"

"This is an ex-parrot…" Logan mumbled in response before shaking his head. "Ugh. I'm alright. Made a forcefield, and used my own claws to electrocute me."

"That must've been painful." Warren winced.

"Man, whoever you clowns are, you guys are not very good at fighting." Dr. Bonham shook his head.

"Oh, that's it!" Jubilee's eyes started to glow. "I'm gonna shut this monkey-ass up!" She let rip with her energy blasts. The blasts hit Dr. Bonham right in the face, and knocked him into a food court kiosk.

"Aw no, not the Indian food place!" Warren wailed.

"Oh yeah!" Jubilee grinned. Dr. Bonham got up. "Aw, crud."

"Jubes, his armor absorbs energy, remember?" Paige reminded.

"Ah, go corral yourself some cattle rustlers." Jubilee grumbled.

"Corral _this!_" Paige made a move to punch Jubilee, but Warren held her back.

"Paige, calm down!" Warren told the Kentuckian.

"Oh, brother." Dr. Bonham sighed. "Look. I really have to go and retrieve those two boys for my studies…"

"Oh, you wanna experiment on us, huh?" A familiar voice retorted. Dr. Bonham turned and saw a hovering Razor and Renegade.

"We don't like being experimented on." Renegade smirked evilly.

"Yes. Messes up the Kid of Rock's hair." Razor nodded.

"You two can't beat me! My armor can use the energy that gives you both your powers!" Dr. Bonham taunted.

"You underestimate the Power of Rock, my friend." Renegade clenched his fists, taunting in a bad Indian accent.

**_Next: Detroit Rock City, Part 7_** _This is it! Kid Razor, the Renegade, and the XSE versus Dr. Bonham. And what the heck was up with that men's magazine?_

**(1) - "Switch 625" is an instrumental song by Def Leppard. It's from their album "High 'n' Dry".**

**(2) – In the comics, both Sage and Bishop used specially-made guns that fired non-lethal projectiles.**


	50. Detroit Rock City, Part 7

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." – Brent Spiner as Lt. Commander Data, Star Trek: The Next Generation.**

_**Chapter 50: Detroit Rock City, Part 7**_

**Detroit, Michigan**

"You two are kidding me." Dr. Bonham blinked. "I designed this armor to protect myself from your powers! Do you really think you can stop me from getting the two of you for my experiments?"

"Pal…" Razor scowled. "You don't know _jack_ about the Kid of Rock! He's fought bigger, badder, and _uglier_ men than you. You know, your armor reminds the Kid of Rock of an old fart he fought. Name was Sebastian Shaw, and could absorb kinetic and get stronger from it, yada yada yada." Razor narrowed his eyes. "The Kid of Rock…nearly made him go nova. The Kid of Rock practically overloaded that son of a gun sponge-man!"

"Who?" Renegade blinked.

"Eh, just some monkey-ass." Razor shrugged.

"Whatever." Renegade shrugged in agreement. "Let's jut whup this guy's monkey ass!" Renegade's eyes and fists started to glow with the Power of Rock. Razor raised an eyebrow.

"Wow." Razor nodded. "The Kid of Rock just may start to like ya, kid."

"Renegade, no!" Storm exclaimed. "He'll just absorb your power and grow stronger!"

"Ah, go start a rainstorm!" Renegade mockingly scoffed, a big grin on his face. The Detroit native then blasted Dr. Bonham with a pair of beams of Power of Rock. The rainbow-colored energy beams slammed into the armored scientist. The armor started to glow.

"Give it up, boys! All I want is to learn the secrets of your powers!" Dr. Bonham laughed.

"Here's a secret!" Razor held up a manhole cover he got from outside. "To understand the Power of Rock, you have to be…" He threw the manhole into the air. Razor, at amazing speed, removed his guitar and clutched the neck like a baseball bat. The body started to glow with the Power of Rock. "COOL!" With that said, Razor hit the falling manhole with his guitar like a baseball player hitting a home run pitch. The manhole flew through the air at amazing speed, smashing into Dr. Bonham. With an "OOF!" the scientist was sent flying into a kiosk.

"Aw man, not the Korean food place! Aw God!" Angelo whined.

"Ugh."

"YEEE-HAH!" Renegade whooped, twirling a Power-of-Rock-created construct of a cowboy hat. "We sure took that there cattle rustler down, pilgrim."

"Whoo!" Razor and Renegade high-fived.

"Grrrrrr…" Paige snarled, overhearing the two.

"I think they really oughta quit with the cowboy jokes." Sage sighed.

"But they're so _funnyyyyyyyyy!_" Jubilee whined.

"We had better find a way to stop this punk before he causes more damage." Bishop grunted.

"And wrecks anymore food stands." Warren added.

"Oh, God…" Angelo groaned. Dr. Bonham started to force his way out of the rubble.

"Let's get him somewhere more open, Renegade." Razor suggested. "Easier to fight out in the open."

"You got it!" Renegade nodded. His hands started to glow, and he fired a group of Power of Rock-created chains from his hands. The hands wrapped around the struggling Dr. Bonham.

"Hey, what?" The scientist blinked.

"You're going on Renegade Airlines, brother!" Renegade whooped. He then took off straight upwards, and with one mighty tug, pulled the scientist upwards behind him with the chains, making the scientist scream as he was dragged into the air. Renegade quickly smashed his way through the roof as he flew out of the mall. Razor looked at the XSE and shrugged.

"Follow the flying rockstar, heh heh." Razor chuckled as he flew out the hole.

"Let's get outside!" Storm ordered.

"Smart move, kid." Logan smirked. "Outside, we have more room to fight."

"And I can use my powers better." Storm agreed.

"My cyber-shades have detected Razor and Renegade outside." Sage reported, her hand to the side of her shades. "They're near the western entrance."

"Let's get going!" Jubilee grinned. "I wanna whup some mad scientist butt!"

"And how do you suggest you do that? Your powers only made him stronger." Paige crossed her arms.

"I'll find a way." Jubes shrugged. "If I could make Exodus cry like a little girl, I can find a way to knock this guy stupid! And this Bonham guy is no Exodus."

"Yeah, he isn't gay for Magneto." Angelo quipped.

"C'MERE PUNK!" They heard the voice of Renegade roar. "I'M GONNA BEAT YOU SO BAD, YOU GONNA END UP THINKING YOU ONE OF BLONDIE'S MIDNIGHT PONY RIDES!"

"Grrrr…" Paige growled. "Let's just get this over and get out of here before I end up _killing_ the Renegade!" She started to mutter. "This joke has gotta get old soon. I has just got to." The XSE quickly followed the sound of Renegade's voice. They found the two Power of Rock-charged heroes valiantly brawling with Dr. Bonham.

"Huh!" Renegade ripped out a lamppost from the ground. "Alright, you armor-clad clown! Let's see you absorb THIS!" Renegade flew up to Dr. Bonham and swung the post like a baseball bat. The post hit Dr. Bonham in the back, sending him careening into a semi-truck.

"I got an idea!" Razor grinned. "Renegade, his armor absorbs energy!"

"Yeah, so the Renegade is gonna over there, tear off that fancy armor, and beat his ass silly! All with his bare hands!" Renegade scowled.

"You ever held a sponge under a running faucet?" Razor crossed his arms. "YOW!" He and Renegade quickly dodged laser beams fired by Dr. Bonham.

"Nice try, boys! This armor is a lot tougher than you give credit for!" Dr. Bonham laughed.

"What're you yakking about?" Renegade scowled at Razor.

"A sponge soaks up water." Razor started to explain. "But after a while, the water will run over the sponge because the sponge can't hold any more water." Renegade blinked.

"So?"

"I get it…" Paige nodded. "We've got to keep hitting him! And not stop!"

"Allow me to help!" Storm used her weather-controlling powers to create a fog around the parking lot.

"A fog? Here?" Dr. Bonham blinked. "Where did this come from?"

"Right here, jerkweed! HEAVY METAL PUNCH!" Razor, using the fog to conceal his direction of attack, nailed Dr. Bonham in the back of the head, causing him to stagger, but the Power of Rock that was used in the blow was absorbed. _Heh._ _Just like pounding on that jackass Sebastian Shaw all over again._

"Hang on, fellas!" Jubilee fired her energy blasts, hitting Dr. Bonham in the side. Razor then dived towards the armored scientist. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll swooped by Dr. Bonham, smashing him in his armored head with several Power-of-Rock charged punches as he swooped by. The Kid of Rock then kept repeating that action. Paige then charged alongside Wolverine.

"Come on, ya punk!" Razor taunted. Bonham quickly put up a forcefield to deflect Razor, but it didn't protect him from a hard left hook from a steel-skinned Paige and a hard slash from Wolverine. Logan was able to slice into the armor, and it was able to damage it.

"Hey, I spent weeks building that!" Dr. Bonham exclaimed.

"Sorry." Logan apologized sarcastically as he back-flipped back into the fog. Warren dove towards Dr. Bonham and swooped by him, evading the scientist's arms.

"Stop this! Leave me alone! I'm trying to advance science!" The scientist exclaimed. Skin stretched his fingers around Dr. Bonham's neck. Warren grabbed Dr. Bonham by his underarms. "Hey!"

"Now, Storm!" Warren yelled. The Kenyan mutant created a powerful stream of wind, which combined with pulling by Angelo and Warren, caused the armored scientist to flip over and land on his back.

"Razor, Renegade…Have fun, boys." Ororo smirked. The two young heroes grinned.

"You want the Power of Rock, punk?" Renegade smirked at the fallen doctor. "TAKE IT!" Renegade and Razor started blasting him with Power of Rock energy beams from Renegade's fists and Razor's guitar. The two young heroes kept on the attack.

"No! NO! You're overloading the armor!" Dr. Bonham exclaimed. The armor started glowing brightly, on the verge of explosion. Renegade quickly ripped the armor off with his strength and blasted it into the air, where it exploded harmlessly.

"Nice boxers." Razor snickered at the fallen doctor.

**A few minutes later**

"You don't understand!" Dr. Bonham, dressed in a white undershirt and white boxers with red hearts on them, exclaimed as the Detroit cops carted him away. "I wanted to advance science! I WANTED TO ADVANCE SCIEEEEEEENCE!" He screamed as the cops carted him away.

"Well…this has been…interesting." Sage sighed.

"Uh-huh." Bishop agreed. "Man, I can't wait to get back home and get me something to eat."

"I'm sure you can agree with that, cowgirl." Razor grinned at Paige, only to get a scowl from her. "Sheesh!" He then looked at Renegade, who was eagerly awaiting the press. "You know what, pally boy? The Kid of Rock likes ya, kiddo. You'll go far."

"Meh. The Renegade knows." Renegade shrugged. "So? You headin' back to Cleveland?"

"Guess so." Razor shrugged. "Anyway, looks like Detroit's in good hands. They could use you here."

"Oh yeah." Renegade grinned, shaking Razor's hand. "Detroit's gonna be known for three things now: Motown, Cars, and…the Renegade." They noticed several press fans arriving.

"Wanna meet the press?" Razor smirked.

"Oh yeah." Renegade grinned. Razor and Renegade walked to the vans, passing by the XSE. "See you ladies around." Renegade teased the mutant heroes. "Oh…" He pulled out the girly mag that had caused Razor and him to stop fighting, and stuffed it in Bishop's back pocket.

"Hey what?" The future-born cop wondered.

"Trust me." Razor smirked. "It's great." He and Razor went to deal with the press.

"Let's get out of here." Paige huffed, watching Razor and Renegade run their mouths to the cameras. "The sooner I can get away from those idiots, the better."

"Angry much?" Angelo teased.

"Shut up." Paige grumbled.

"How was your friend John?" Storm asked Jubilee.

"It's JC, Storm." Jubilee corrected. "And he got bruised in the fight. He'll be fine though. But I couldn't see Cody anywhere…" Paige opened her mouth, but stopped when she heard Renegade say something.

"Man, he was easier than getting a pony ride from a Kentucky blonde!" Renegade whooped.

"THAT'S IT!" Paige screamed. With a yell, the blonde tore off her skin, revealing a steel form. She then charged the Renegade, tackled him, and they started throwing punches. Meanwhile, a curious Bishop pulled the girly mag out of his pocket.

"You hidin' skin pages, Bish?" Logan chuckled as he and Warren approached the cop for a closer look.

"No, I wanna see what Razor and Renegade were snickering about." Bishop opened up the girly mag. His eyes widened. "Holy…"

"Damn." Wolverine blinked. "I never thought I'd see the day."

"I never thought she'd actually do it!" Warren blinked. "Looks like I owe Bobby a hundred bucks after all."

"I never thought she'd be the type." Logan chuckled. "Yer a lucky man, Bishop."

**_Next: Psycho Circus_** _Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man go to see a circus, but it turns out to be the Circus of Crime! Not to mention that the Circus also gets into a brawl with one of Spencer Burton's rogues!_


	51. Psycho Circus, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Now, darn it! I'm not Kenny!" – Leopold "Butters" Stotch, South Park**

Chapter 51: Psycho Circus, Part 1

**Detroit, Michigan**

Cody Wilson, the young mutant hero called the Renegade, sat on a tall building, looking at the skyline of his beloved Detroit. He smiled at the sky, as it turned multiple colors with the sun setting. The Detroit sunsets were always extremely colorful and beautiful. Of course, it was helped by the fact that there was a lot of pollution in the Detroit air, thanks it its many automotive plants.

"Ahh, Detroit Rock City…" Renegade smiled happily to himself. "My hometown. Sure, it may not be perfect, but to me, it's the most awesome place on Earth. It's got everything: action, adventure, excitement, hot women, hot cars, and steel." He crossed his arms. "So they call me a Kid Razor ripoff. I'd like to see Kid Razor benchpress a couple tons." Renegade flexed his arm. "The Renegade would love to see Kid Razor create stuff from the Power of Rock." He held out his hand and conjured up a staff from the Power of Rock. "Heh." Renegade smirked. "The Renegade rules, heh heh." His superhumanly-sharp sight picked up something. The Detroit City Rocker formed a smirk on his face. "Let's rock 'n' roll." He leapt off the building and flew off in a flash of rainbow light. "_YEEEEEEEE-HAH!_ _I FEEL HAPPIER THAN A KENTUCKY BLONDE ON A PONY!_" A faint feminine enraged scream was heard from the direction of New York. "Heh."

**The Burton household, Cincinnati, Ohio**

"_Hmmm hm hmm hm hmm hmm…_" A pretty woman, who looked to be in her early-forties, with long brown hair smiled as she worked in the kitchen, frying up some bacon. Her name was Delilah Burton, a woman who worked as a secretary for Stark Industries' subsidiary in Cincinnati. She was the mother of Spencer Allen Burton, the teenage super-fast sonic beam-packing armored superhero called Sonic Blue. She was proud of her son, but at the same time, she worried about him. She knew the kind of risks Spencer took every day he put on that armor. She was devastated when Captain America and Kid Razor came to her door and told her that Spencer had died thanks to Selene. It also hurt her when he was resurrected, and the experiences shattered her only child, traumatizing him so badly that he gave up the armor. However, that was all in the past. Spencer recovered a long time ago, and things had changed. She had taken in the young hero Eugene Patilio, the Frog-Man, whom Spencer was taking under his wing and helping induct into the hero biz. The young man was dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and a blue Yankees t-shirt.

"Mm, mm! Something sure smells good, Ms. Burton." A voice complimented. Delilah turned and saw the curly-haired redheaded Eugene.

"Thank you, Eugene." Delilah complimented.

"Just call me Gene, Ms. Burton." Eugene chuckled. "I'm not a fan of my name. As a kid, I got teased for it. So, when I moved to Cincinnati, I decided to start just going by Gene."

"Just like that guy from Kiss." Delilah chuckled. She then blinked at the shocked Gene. "What? Kiss was around when I was a kid." She smiled. "I had a little crush on Ace Frehley."

"I thought Paul Stanley was the one chicks dug." Gene scratched his head.

"In general." Delilah smiled. "But I liked Ace." She heard the noise of a person coming down the stairs.

"Hey mom." Spencer greeted. He was dressed in a pair of blue shorts and a white Spaulding t-shirt. "What's cooking?"

"Just making some bacon and eggs." Delilah smiled.

"Alright!" Spencer grinned. "I love bacon and eggs!" Spencer and Gene immediately walked into the dining room and took seats at the table. "You're off today, right Mom?"

"Oh, yes." Delilah smiled as she served breakfast. "Mr. Stark is such a wonderful man. Letting me have weekends off and such."

"Yeah, he's cool." Spencer nodded thankfully. "Mr. Stark was nice enough to let me use his technology to modify my armor, and he's notoriously protective of it."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that rampage a while back." Gene remembered. **(1)**

"Mm-hmm." Spencer nodded. "In fact, Mr. Stark and I modeled my armor after one of Stark's designs." **(2)**

"You know, boys, I was thinking…" Delilah interjected. "I heard that there was a circus in town today. I was thinking that maybe we should go down and see the show, considering none of us have nothing to do today. You used to love circuses as a boy, Spencer."

"Why not, Mom?" Spencer nodded. "Gene and I were just planning to do some patrolling today."

"Yeah, but the bad guys have been rather quiet lately." Eugene countered.

"Mr. Fahrenheit had broken out yesterday." Spencer remembered. Mr. Fahrenheit, real name Jack "Fireball" Pierce, was a hot-tempered pyrotechnician who took up a life of crime after he found out the main female star of the movie he was working on, whom he was in love with, was dating the director. In a rage, he tried to roast her with a flamethrower. Sonic Blue, who was invited to help out on the set in his civilian identity, had managed to save her life. "Maybe we should keep an eye out for him. I know him, Gene."

"Ah, what could that goofball do?" Eugene shrugged.

"But why would he break out?" Delilah blinked. "That Mr. Fahrenheit guy's got issues with women, right?"

"Oh yeah." Spencer nodded. "Can't stand 'em."

"Speaking of women, Spencer…" Delilah remembered. "When are you finally going to start dating that nice girl you like?"

"Mommm…" Spencer shrunk in his seat, blushing.

"Which one?" Eugene quipped.

"Oh, stop it, Gene." Spencer groaned. He then looked at Delilah. "Well, when's the circus?"

**A warehouse in Cincinnati**

"Ah…" Jack Pierce smirked as he opened the warehouse up. It was a secret warehouse that was used by Spencer's rogues to store their equipment and costumes when they weren't impounded by the cops. Even though the regular foes of Sonic Blue didn't always get along (and they all hated Redfoot and wanted pieces of him), they used the same warehouse. "My stuff should be here." The muscular black-mulleted man, dressed in a gray prison uniform, raced in. A few minutes later, he walked out in a red costume with an orange chestplate, gloves, and boots with a yellow flame motif. His cowl had built in black goggles and a yellow gas mask, which was currently pulled down, causing the cowl to show his nose, chin, and mouth. It was connected to an oxygen/fuel tank by black hoses. The large silver tank also had silver hoses that were mounted to his forearms. "Now…to get me some cash…" He scratched his head. "Where the hell am I going to get me some cash…"

**Elsewhere in Cincinnati**

"Wow." Delilah smiled as she looked up at the colorful tent of the Big Top. "I haven't been to a circus in such a long time."

"Ms. Burton…can I admit something to you?" Eugene raised his hand. Delilah nodded. "Well…I hate clowns."

"Are you afraid of clowns?" Spencer wondered.

"I used to be, as a kid." Eugene nodded. "Nowadays…they don't really scare me anymore. They just more along the lines of tick me off. Every time I see a clown…for some reason, I just want to punch him. Is that weird?"

"I think so." Spencer chuckled. "When I see clowns, I think of Kid Razor. It's an obvious relation." Delilah and Eugene laughed.

"I guess what would explain it." Eugene chuckled. A few minutes later, the three had purchased their snacks and taken seats in the stands. "This is gonna be great!"

"Tiboldt…" Spencer scratched his chin.

"Something wrong, Spencer?" Delilah looked at her son. Spencer looked up.

"Uhm, nothing." Spencer shrugged it off. _I heard that this circus was called the Tiboldt Family Circus. Now, I knew I had heard that name before…but from where?_

"Mmm…" Eugene licked his lips happily. "Good cotton candy."

"Yup." Spencer nodded in agreement as he started to chow down on his own cotton candy. "I used to love this stuff as a kid."

"You so loved the circus as a kid." Delilah smiled. "I hope we get to see clowns. I always loved the clowns."

"Clowns freak me out, remember?" Eugene reminded.

"I wonder what the circus will do for their feature attraction." Spencer wondered out loud. "Maybe they'll do an animal act."

"Or something with fire-eaters." Eugene shrugged. "I loved the fire-eaters as a kid. I always wondered how they managed to pull that off."

"A guy in school tried it once." Spencer remembered. "Nearly roasted his lips off."

"Eww…" Eugene winced. "That's something, and New Yorkers like me have seen plenty."

"Considering that a lot of superheroes are operating in New York, it is likely you would have." Delilah nodded. The lights started to dim, and a drumroll came over the tent's PA. Delilah brightened in delight. "Oh! The show is starting!" She then looked at Spencer and Eugene. "Don't eat your snacks too quickly, boys. You'll hurt your stomachs."

**_Next: Psycho Circus, Part 2_** _Our heroes deal with some problems as they have to deal with both Mr. Fahrenheit and the Circus of Crime!_

**(1) - Tony Stark/Iron Man went on a rampage after heroes and villains who used his technology in the classic storyline "Armor Wars" from the 1980s Iron Man comics.**

**(2) – Spencer's Sonic Blue armor is inspired by Iron Man's Silver Centurion armor from the 1980s comics, with some slight modifications, and the red is replaced with blue.**


	52. Psycho Circus, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Ha-ha! You got usurped!" – Nelson Muntz to Ned Flanders, the Simpsons**

_**Chapter 52: Psycho Circus, Part 2**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"La de da, dee dee la da, da dee da dee…" Kid Razor happily sang to himself as he flew over the skies of his beloved hometown of Cleveland, Ohio. He then flew towards a building when his superhuman hearing picked up a familiar voice. The voice's source, the beautiful Joan Frehley, was sitting on top of a skyscraper, writing on a notepad.

"To me, Cleveland is a city full of HO-LEE-!" Joan mumbled to herself as she wrote. She got interrupted by Kid Razor streaking by her. Joan fell on her butt. "Agh! You!" She exclaimed. A happily-laughing Razor doubled back toward her.

"Hello, Joanie!" Razor greeted sweetly with a big grin. "You look as shag-worthy as ever. The Kid of Rock missed you last night." Joan sighed.

"What do you want, Razor?" Joan grumbled annoyingly, straightening her Cleveland Browns t-shirt and long brown hair. Razor smiled mischievously.

"The Kid of Rock just wanted to see how you were doing, Joanie?" Razor floated towards her.

"I'm doing fine, loudmouth." Joan answered sharply, crossing her arms over her chest impatiently. "What're you up to?"

"Ah, the usual, babe." Razor smirked. "You know, whomping evil butt, lookin' good, rockin' the stage, flyin' high…"

"Being annoying, prancing about like an arrogant jerk…" Joan cut in with a smirk.

"Oh, you wound me, babe." Razor mock-winced, putting his hand on his heart.

"Oh, hardy har har." Joan rolled her eyes.

"Babe, you know you're crazy about the Kid of Rock. Why do you act like you're not?" Razor smirked. "You're not fooling the Kid of Rock, babe. He can get into women's heads. He knows how they think."

"HA!" Joan scoffed loudly. "That's a laugh."

"What're you up to, babeolicious?" Razor raised an eyebrow on her notepad.

"I'm working on my editorial." Joan answered.

"Ah." Razor nodded. "Spouting your opinions. Yup, the Kid of Rock can see you doing that."

"Are you trying to insult me, Razor?" Joan scowled.

"Babe, you'd know if I was insulting you." Razor pulled down his sunglasses and winked cheekily. Joan sighed.

"Are you just here to bother me?"

"The Kid of Rock prefers to call it flirting, babe." Razor chuckled. "Many a woman has fallen under the Kid of Rock's charms."

"Funny. I haven't met any of them." Joan chuckled. "Just get out of here and go be a jackass somewhere else." Razor shrugged.

"Fine, babe. I know when I'm not wanted." Razor laughed. He then flew off. Joan smiled and shook her head.

"What a blockhead." She smiled. "Hey, I wonder if Bobby is up for a date…" She pulled out a cell phone.

**The Tiboldt Family Circus, Cincinnati, Ohio**

"Oh, this show is absolutely wonderful!" Delilah Burton smiled happily as she enjoyed the show. She had two other people with her. They were her son Spencer, the armored speedster called Sonic Blue, and their housemate Eugene Patilio, the Fabulous Frog-Man. Eugene was a college student from New York City who moved to Cleveland to try out his luck as a superhero. Soon after, he was brought into the world of the local heroes, where Spencer helped him modify his costume and he moved in with the Burtons so he could continue his college studies. The three of them were watching the trapeze act. "Oh, how amazing! I always wondered how they do that."

"Practice, mom." Spencer answered with a chuckle. "Lots and lots of practice."

"I'd be so frightened to go up there and do that stuff." Delilah nodded.

"That's why they have the safety net, Ms. Burton." Eugene pointed out the safety net. Spencer eyed two mustachioed identical acrobats, and his eyes narrowed.

_Those two acrobats look very familiar…_ Spencer thought. _Why do I keep getting this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I should be very careful and that there's some bad mojo in this place?_

"Spencer…" Delilah blinked at her deep-in-thought son. "Are you alright, dear?"

"Huh?" Spencer blinked, looking up at Delilah. "Oh, I'm fine, Mom. I'm just thinking."

"Knowing Spencer, he's probably calculating the exact angle the trapeze artists need to release the trapezes so they can do their stunts successfully." Eugene teased.

"Ah, shaddap." Spencer mock grumbled, crossing his arms. "Besides, that kind of sounds like something that Reed Richards would do. He would overanalyze things."

"And what about Tony Stark?" Eugene smirked. Spencer shrugged.

"Knowing him, he'd be designing an armor that would allow its wearer to duplicate their feats." The young inventor quipped with a grin. Delilah and Eugene laughed. "I'm gonna go see if there's a bathroom around here."

"Yeah, I gotta go, too." Eugene got up.

"Don't be too long, boys." Delilah told them. "You don't want to miss the whole show." Spencer and Eugene left the tent.

"Hey, Gene?" Spencer piped up.

"Yeah?"

"I keep getting this feeling." The young inventor admitted.

"Feeling of what?" A puzzled Eugene blinked.

"You know, the kind of feeling that something strange is up with this circus." Spencer shook his head. "And in the superhero world, those feelings are usually right."

"…Are you sure that you're not just worrying too much?" Eugene wondered, crossing his arms. Spencer rolled his eyes.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not _that_ big a worrier." Spencer sighed. "I do think that something is up with this circus." Spencer then remembered something. "I'll explain later. Let's just hurry up and find a bathroom." Meanwhile, back inside the tent, Delilah was enjoying the show.

"Thank you, folks! Thank you! You are a kind crowd!" The pencil-thin mustachioed ringmaster, dressed in a green and purple suit with black stars on the jacket, and matching boots, called to the crowd happily through a megaphone, his voice spiced by an Austrian accent. His black hair was covered by a purple top hat with a white circular panel on it, decorated in a black swirly pattern. "The Tiboldt family thanks you again for enjoying our wonderful show!"

"Tiboldt?" Delilah blinked. "Hmmm…I've heard that name on the TV before…" She scratched her head in thought. "But from where?"

**Outside the circus**

"Hmmm…" Mr. Fahrenheit grinned to himself from a rooftop. He was looking at the circus through a pair of binoculars. He was sitting on one knee. "Heh…this circus is a great opportunity for me! Big chance to get my paws on some big bucks. Circuses have lots of people, and lots of people carry lots of cash, heh heh." He looked at one of his flamethrowers and smirked. "Maybe I can scorch the place, too. I always hated clowns."

**Back in the tent**

"Alright!" The ringmaster crowed at the crowd. "That was Zelda DuBois and her snake act, ladies and gentlemen!" A red-haired woman dressed in a green outfit with green stockings and a large yellow snake over her shoulders bowed.

"Thank y'all!" She waved before leaving for backstage.

"I wonder where the boys are?" Delilah blinked. "They missed a wonderful snake act."

"And now, for the next act…" The ringmaster continued, but one of the clowns ran up to him. He was balding, with white hair on the sides of his head, clad in black-and-white makeup, and a wacky yellow-and-blue polka dot costume with big red buttons, and oversized brown shoes. He wasn't just any clown, he was Eliot "Crafty" Franklin, the lead clown of the Tiboldt circus. He was from a family of clowns. The ringmaster scowled with mock anger. This part of the act. "Yes?" The clown motioned. "What do you want?" The grinning clown pulled out a can of seltzer and squirted the ringmaster right in the face, making the ringmaster growl in mock anger and the audience laugh.

"Oh, my!" Delilah laughed happily. "This is hilarious!" She laughed as the ringmaster chased the clown around, yelling at him.

_Time to go to work…_ The ringmaster smirked. He turned to the crowd and started spinning the twirly decoration on his hat.

**Outside the tent**

Mr. Fahrenheit snuck towards the tent. He hid behind a pair of boxes. He notice an unguarded wall.

"Alright…" The flamethrower-wielding villain grinned. "Time to go in and get me a stash…" He crept up to the wall. He fiddled with a dial on his flamethrowers. "Oh, wait. If I set this ablaze, I could end up bringing down the whole thing. That's not what I need…I need something sharp…"

**_Next: Psycho Circus, Part 3_** _Sonic Blue and Frog-Man leap into action to stop the Circus of Crime, but they end up in a three-way brawl with Mr. Fahrenheit!_


	53. Psycho Circus, Part 3

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "How can we be expected to teach children to read if they can't even fit inside the building?" – Ben Stiller as Derek Zoolander, Zoolander**

_**Chapter 53: Psycho Circus, Part 3!**_

**An apartment building in Cleveland, Ohio**

_**Knock! Knock! Knock! **_

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Bobby Parkins walked up to the front door of his apartment. He was dressed in a black shirt with black slacks and a matching jacket. "Geez…" He started to mumble. "I'm already worried enough about going out with-" He opened the door. "Joanie…" He noticed Joan Frehley standing at the door with a smile on her face. She was dressed in a slinky, yet conservative dark blue dress. Her long brown hair was pulled into a high ponytail.

"Hi, Bobby." Joan smiled.

"Oh, uh…" Bobby laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neatly-combed head. "Um…hi, Joanie. You, uh…" _Man, I hate this. As myself, I get nervous about complimenting a woman, yet as Kid Razor, it's the other extreme!_ "Uh…well…" Joan shook her head with a smile.

"Come on, Bobby. I don't have all night…" Joan teased.

"You look great." Bobby quickly complimented with a grin. He turned around. "I'm going now, Mom! I'll see you later."

"Okay, Bobby!" A feminine voice responded. "Have fun! Be careful, and don't stay out too late!"

"We won't!" Bobby answered.

"Don't worry, Mrs. Parkins!" Joan called, taking Bobby's arm in hers. "We'll be fine! I'll take good care of Bobby!"

"Oh, ha ha." Bobby rolled his eyes.

**In front of a restaurant**

Some time later, a car pulled up in front of a nice-looking restaurant. Bobby looked up at it from the driver's side of the car.

"Wow, Joanie…" Bobby blinked in amazement. "I've heard about this place while channel-surfing. This place is expensive. How'd you…"

"Being the daughter of one of the most influential newspaper men in Cleveland helps." Joan grinned. She was referring to her father Thomas Frehley, who owned the Cleveland Star, the only other major newspaper in Cleveland. **(1)** "I made reservations here for us."

"Oh, thank God. I was hoping that you wouldn't mind us going to McDonalds or something." Bobby unbuckled his seatbelt.

"Don't get me wrong, Bobby." Joan chuckled. "Normally, I'd love to scarf down Big Macs with you, but I felt tonight, it should be special."

"Why?" Bobby narrowed his eyes. _Oh, God! Don't tell me I forgot our anniver…no, that was last month._

"Oh, just cause." Joan grinned. "Now come on, Bobby! Let's enjoy the night!"

**The Tiboldt Family Circus, Cincinnati, Ohio**

Spencer and Eugene carefully walked back towards the main entrance of the Big Top. Spencer was suspicious of the circus, so he and Eugene took a look around.

"Are you _sure_ you're not just worrying too much?" Eugene asked the young inventor.

"I'm sorry, man." Spencer sighed. "It's just something's been nagging me in the back of my mind ever since I came up to this Big Top, you know? It's like I've heard of this place before, but I can't put my finger on how and why…wait…" Spencer held up his hand. "You hear something?"

"No." Eugene blinked. "Wait…I don't hear anything."

"Exactly." Spencer nodded. "You'd think a circus would make more noise than this in the middle of a show."

"Something's gotta be up." Eugene realized. "Unless they closed early."

"I doubt it…" The young hero shook his head. They carefully crept up to the main entrance. They peeked in, and heard noises.

"Quickly, you fools!" The Ringmaster snapped. Various members of the circus were running around in the stands, taking money and jewelry off of people, and placing them into sacks. "Cincinnati is a Local Hero town! It won't be long before we get that fool Sonic Blue here!"

_What he doesn't know is he's already here…_ Spencer thought. _And he isn't alone._ "Of course!"

"What?" Eugene blinked.

"Of course! How could I have been so stupid? Doy!" Spencer smacked his forehead with his palm. "I've heard of these guys from the Avengers' files! They're the Circus of Crime!"

"The Avengers have faced them?" Eugene blinked.

"Spider-Man and Daredevil have." Spencer nodded. "So has the Hulk. Thor, too. I think the She-Hulk encountered them as well. She even got hypnotized into being one of their attractions."

"I bet they used her as a strongwoman and put her in a revealing outfit." Eugene snickered.

"I dunno." Spencer shrugged. "I never got to find out. I asked her once, and she clammed up quick."

"I suppose we should stop these guys, huh?" Eugene remembered.

"We are superheroes. It's what we do." Spencer shrugged, pulling back his shirt's sleeve. It revealed the blue, silver, and black watch that he made to summon his mighty armor.

"Oh yeah." Eugene grinned, showing his own green, gold, and black watch. The two boys pressed the transformation buttons. Spencer Burton and Eugene Patilio disappeared in flashes of light. In their places stood Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man. "Let's rock!"

"Heh." Spencer smirked. "Just like Razor." Meanwhile, back inside the tent, The snake charmer called Princess Python had gotten up to a hypnotized Delilah Burton, who was staring ahead blankly, like everyone else in the audience.

"Heh." The Southern woman smiled. "This has gotta be our easiest job yet. No sign of any cops or superheroes anywhere. Ah dare say we should come here more often."

"Do the tourist trade a favor. Please change your mind." A familiar voice told the snake trainer as she felt a breeze on her. Princess Python looked up and saw Sonic Blue. The Iron Speedster waved.

"Hello!" Spencer greeted. Using his speed, he grabbed Princess Python's bag.

"Hey!" She screamed indignantly. "Give that back, you little brat!" She swiped for it, but with a FWOOSH, Spencer quickly moved so he was behind her.

"Night-night!" Spencer grinned, pointing his hand at her face. His blue-armored gauntlet started firing sonic waves at the Southerner's face. Princess Python tried to move to strike Spencer again, but she found herself feeling very tired.

"Oog…" She sighed. "Ah feel…tired. Ah go sleepy now." She smiled as she started to sway. She then fell into Spencer's arms, snoozing happily. "M'sleepy…zzzzzzzz…"

_Huh. I can't believe that worked._ Spencer thought. _I knew that sonics at certain frequencies could stimulate certain parts of the brain. Good thing I found the frequency that stimulates the sleep center._

"What the-?" Ringmaster wondered out loud. The rest of the Circus stopped dead in their tracks.

"That's right, Circus of Crime!" Spencer called out loud. "Your little tour of thievery…ends right here in Cincinnati!"

"_Here I come to save the day…_" Eugene sang out in a cheesy superhero voice as he leapt into action. He dropkicked the Ringmaster in the back, knocking him on his chest, and his hat off his head. The hat flew into the air, and Frog-man caught it. "Hey, nice hat!"

"Frog-Man!" Spencer yelled out. "Gimme the hat! I can use it to free these people from their trances!" Eugene nodded, and he was about to throw the top hat like a frisbee, when…

"I don't think so, buddy!" A bald man dressed in red pants, black boots, and a pair of black sashes crossed like an 'X' over his bare chest snapped, holding a wand with a flame burning on the end of it. He used it to spit flames at the young hero.

"Yipe!" Eugene quickly ducked the flames, but it caused him to throw the hat.

"D'oh!" Spencer winced. He quickly zipped down towards the center ring.

"Got it!" The Ringmaster grabbed his top hat and threw it back on his head. "Circus of Crime! Take there two fools down!"

"Aw, great." Eugene grunted. "As if things can't get any worse."

_**KABOOM!**_

An explosion erupted nearby.

"Oh, no…" Spencer moaned.

"Who the hell…" Ringmaster scowled.

"Alright, everybody!" Mr. Fahrenheit walked up through the smoke. "Hand over your money! And if you're a Hollywood director or music exec, hand over your…" He looked up at the audience. "…contracts? The hell?" He noticed the audience was hypnotized. "What's going on here?"

"Hi, Mr. Fahrenheit." Spencer sighed.

"You!" Mr. Fahrenheit's eyes widened when he saw Sonic Blue. "Heh." He smirked. "He's been waiting to toast your ass for some time. Wait a minute…" The flamethrower-wielding villain looked around at the Circus of Crime. "Who are you idiots?"

"You want to make fun of the Circus of Crime, punk?" The Ringmaster snapped.

"PUNK?" Mr. Fahrenheit snapped back. "Alright! That's it! There are quite a few things I hate: Sonic Blue, chicks who act like they're the hottest thing since sliced bread, and being called a punk!" He fired his flamethrowers at the Ringmaster, but the circus owner dodged them.

"That's it!" He snarled. "Circus of Crime, take care of this flaming idiot! And the two kids!"

"Anyone order a three-way brawl?" Spencer groaned.

**_Next: Psycho Circus, Part 4_** _The_ _adventure and humor continues! Kid Razor has to deal with problems on his date with Joan Frehley, and the main event: Sonic Blue and the Frog-Man versus the Circus of Crime versus Mr. Fahrenheit in a three-way brawl!_

**(1) – In real life, Cleveland's only major newspaper is called _The Plain Dealer._**


	54. Psycho Circus, Part 4

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You killed Captain Clown!" – Mark Hamill as the Joker, Batman: The Animated Series**

_**Chapter 54: Psycho Circus, Part 4**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Bobby Parkins and Joan Frehley sat at a table in the fancy restaurant. They were in the middle of a nice date.

"Stupid menu…" Bobby grumbled. "I can't read this stuff. It's all in Italian!"

"Don't look at me." Joan shrugged. "I didn't take Italian in school."

"They never offer it." Bobby quipped, making Joan chuckle.

"You decided what to eat yet?"

"I gotta _read_ it before I eat it." Bobby sighed. "What's this?" He showed Joan the menu and pointed at something.

"…I think that's…yeah, that's ravioli." Joan answered, nodding.

"Okay, I guess that's what I'll eat." The teenage guitarist shrugged. Joan grinned.

"That's you, Bobby." The high school reporter snickered.

"What?" Bobby blinked. "Wait one minute…" He looked at Joan suspiciously. "Why are we here in such a fancy place? Is something up?"

"Well, it's a celebration." Joan admitted with a grin.

"What…_kind_ of celebration?" Bobby narrowed his green eyes.

"I'm going to get promoted!" Joan announced with a big happy grin. "Isn't that great?" She grabbed Bobby in a big hug.

"Promotion?" Bobby blinked. "In a _school newsletter?_"

"A promotion is a promotion, Parkins. Remember that." Joan told her boyfriend. "I'm going to be working as one of the editors."

"Congrats, Joan. Maybe that means one of your articles can finally get in the paper." Bobby teased.

"Oh you-!" Joan lightly punched Bobby's arm, her face showing mock anger.

"Hey!" Bobby grabbed his arm. "What was that for?" Joan shrugged.

"I felt like it." She answered.

"You're cold, lady." Bobby shook his head. "Real cold."

"Ohhh…you…" Joan rolled her eyes.

"What?" Bobby grinned.

"Never mind." Joan shook her head. "I got visited by Kid Razor today."

"Really?" Bobby raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. The guy tried another pickup line on me." Joan nodded. "The guy just doesn't quit."

"Maybe he likes you." Bobby shrugged. Joan laughed.

"That's a laugh." Joan responded. She then heard the sound of a ruckus. "What in the-?" She and Bobby turned their heads and noticed a figure flying through the window.

"Joan, get down!" Bobby yelled. He and Joan jumped down towards the floor as the window shattered. Joan looked at the figure.

"It's the Rhino!" She exclaimed in recognition. She turned and noticed Bobby had disappeared. "Bobby? _Bobby?_ Oh, now where in the blazes did he go?" She didn't notice Bobby race into the men's room.

"Mystic guitar, to my hand." Bobby whispered. In a flash of rainbow light, Bobby's guitar appeared and hovered in the air. The kid grabbed the guitar and slung it over his shoulder. Then with one pluck and one flash of rainbow light, Bobby Parkins was transformed. Now, he was the Fearless Kid Razor, Cleveland's Favorite Son. The now blond-maned teenage super-rocker smirked. "Hello, Cleveland. It's good to be back!" He burst out and leapt to action. He streaked by Joan.

"Whoa!" She exclaimed. Kid Razor flew outside to check out the source of the ruckus. He rolled his eyes and he groaned tiredly.

"Oh, God. Not this again…" Razor moaned, placing his face in his hands and shaking his head. Razor saw the costumed super-strong criminal called the Rhino brawling with the powerhouse mammoth mutant called Tusk. He also noticed the Shocker.

"You horned jackass!" Tusk roared. **_WHAM!_**

"You fat piece of elephant crap!" Rhino roared back. **_BAM!_** Razor noticed that the Shocker wasn't taking advantage of the chaos. The yellow-and-brown-clad costumed criminal simply appeared to be just sitting on the couch. He was holding a bottle of beer and sipping from it.

"All I wanted was just a nice peaceful vacation." He mumbled to himself. "But Rhino sneaks on the plane because he wanted to swipe some t-shirts from the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. And so I gotta deal with more of this CRAP!" He stood up shakily, and wobbled like the drunk he was. "Hoist with my own retard!"

"It's _petard_, stupid!" A passer-by snapped.

"Ah screw you, you stupid fat hippie…" The Shocker started to snap, until he felt sick. "Oog…Oh God!" He puked all over the ground, and on himself. He collapsed on the bench. "I hate my life!"

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

"Look out, Frog-Man!" Sonic Blue exclaimed as he zipped past the explosion created by several rubber balls that were thrown by the clown.

"I got it! I got it!" The armored amphibian hero mumbled as he dodged Mr. Fahrenheit's flame streams.

"Hold still so I can toast you, you overgrown pile of dog puke!" The ex-pyrotechnician grumbled as he tried to fry the Frog-Man.

"Sorry, pal." Frog-Man apologized. "But Roasted Frog-Man is not on the menu tonight!" Mr. Fahrenheit snarled angrily.

"I said hold still, you little freak!" Mr. Fahrenheit roared angrily, firing more blasts of flame from his flamethrowers. "Oof!" He found himself getting kicked in the side by Ernesto Gambonno, one of the Flying Gambonno Brothers.

"Ha!" He crowed in a thick Italian accent. "You are Mr. Fahrenheit, correct?"

"Aw, great! I got ambushed by a freaky trapeze artist." Mr. Fahrenheit grumbled indignantly. "Augh!" He got knocked forward by a kick in the back from Luigi Gambonno.

"Ha! Did not expect to be _two_ of us, didn't you?"

"I don't care if there are two or two hundred of you Bruce Lee-Super Mario bastard kids! I'll toast all your asses!" Mr. Fahrenheit roared in rage as he started to fire flames again, this time at the Gambonnos. "Hold still, you Super-Mario wannabes!"

"Hup! Hup! Hup! Hup!" The Gambonnos chanted as they used their acrobatic skills to duck, dodge, and avoid Mr. Fahrenheit's flame blasts.

"HOLD STILL, YOU MOTHER-! OOF!" The ex-pyrotechnician started to scream in frustration, only to get dropkicked in the side by the Frog-Man.

"Remember me, ya fire-spewing screwball?" Frog-Man smirked underneath his helmet. Mr. Fahrenheit snarled.

"That's it! Your ass is WHOA!" He barely managed to avoid getting himself kicked in the face by Ernesto Gambanno.

"Yipes!" Frog-Man dodged a flying kick from Luigi Gambonno. "Hey, buddy! Wait your turn!"

"The Circus of Crime waits for no one, tadpole!" Luigi laughed. Meanwhile, Sonic Blue was running into a few problems of his own.

"RAHHHHHHH!" The dark-haired powerhouse called Teena the Fat Lady roared as she ran towards Sonic Blue.

"Geez!" Spencer exclaimed as he leapt out of her path. "As Razor would say, 'For a fat lady, she sure is quick!'" A lariat wrapped itself around him. "Huh?"

_**BZZZZZZ!**_

The lariat, which was electrified, started to run electricity into Spencer's armor, shocking the young hero.

"NYEEEEEARGH!"

"Ha, ha!" The rope-wielding cowboy-costumed Live Wire scoffed. "You ain't so tough, boy! Heh heh heh…Huh?" Live Wire blinked as he saw Spencer get to his feet and smirk at him.

"A little modification I made to my armor when I once battled Electro." Spencer explained. "I added on insulation from his electrical attacks. And he could put out a lot more juice than this rope." Using his increased strength, Spencer easily broke out of the lariat. The Iron Speedster then blasted Live Wire right in the gut with a blue sonic beam, knocking him into a barricade.

"WHOA!" Mr. Fahrenheit screamed as he dodged Teena's charge. "That's one crazy fat lady!" He grinned at the sight of the Ringmaster, directing traffic. Spencer had taken on the Gambonnos, and the Frog-Man was brawling with Bruto the Strongman. Mr. Fahrenheit grinned evilly and fired his flamethrowers, hitting the unsuspecting Ringmaster right in the butt.

"YEOW-WOW-WHOO! HOT BUNS! HOT BUNS!" The Ringmaster screamed as he leapt up and ran out, desperate to put out his blazing backside. The fire-wielding villain turned his attention back to Spencer.

"Hey Sonic Blue!" Mr. Fahrenheit called. Spencer threw Luigi Gambonno off him and turned around. The former pyrotechnician threw a small red baseball-sized sphere at him.

**_Next: Psycho Circus, Part 5_** _More fighting in Ohio's Twin Cities: Cleveland and Cincinnati!_


	55. Psycho Circus, Part 5

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Up your nose with a rubber hose." - John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino, Welcome Back, Kotter.**

_**Chapter 55: Psycho Circus, Part 5**_

**Cleveland, Ohio, a couple years ago (A/N: Yup, another special flashback! This time, it's the first-ever meeting between Kid Razor and Joan Frehley. Guess the movie I pay tribute to.)**

"AAAAAAAAH!" A feminine voice screamed.

"Oh my God!" Another voice yelled out.

"Somebody help her!" A third voice exclaimed. A crowd had gathered at the base of the Cleveland Star building, a tall skyscraper. They were looking up and pointing up at the top of the building in horror. A blue helicopter, the Star's helicopter, was teetering over the edge of the building's roof. The pilot was trapped inside, shuddering in horror. In the passenger seat, sat a young teenage girl named Joan Frehley.

"Oh, God…" The pilot moaned. "What a night for the stupid thing to break down." He looked at the girl. "I told your cheapskate father! I _told_ him that we needed a new helicopter!"

"Worry about Daddy later!" The young Joan snapped. She unbuckled herself. The pilot's eyes widened.

"Dammit, kid! Are you nuts? Get back in here! You know what your dad will do to me?" The pilot exclaimed. But Joan didn't listen. Ever fearless, the girl opened the helicopter's door and slowly stepped out, clinging to the side of the helicopter. She slowly crept towards the edge of the building. "Kid, what're you doing?" The pilot exclaimed. A brown-haired spectacled man ran out of the building. He was a slightly pudgy man, his brown hair and beard graying at the temples. He wore a short-sleeved light blue t-shirt with khaki slacks and a dark red tie. He was Donald Frehley, the owner of the Star.

"What's going on here OH MY GOD!" He started to demand, when he noticed the helicopter! "What the hell is going on up there?"

"We're not sure."

"Oh God!" The young Joan slipped, and she started to fall. The ground was a very long way down. Donald had grabbed some binoculars to get a closer look when he noticed his daughter falling.

"OH GOD! JOAN!" He exclaimed in horror. A screaming Joan fell towards the ground.

"Look!" A man pointed upwards as noticed something in the air. "Up in the sky!" A multicolored streak of light blazed through the night sky. Suddenly, the streak took a sharp turn, flying above the crowd. It took another sharp turn and flew upwards along the building's side. The streak caught Joan, revealing itself to be a grinning young Kid Razor.

"Relax, hotness. I got ya." Razor smirked.

"You got _me?_" Joan looked down, and then back up at Razor. "But…who's got _you?_" She looked up. "The helicopter!" Razor shrugged.

"I got it." He answered nonchalantly. The Fearless One flew up towards the roof. Once there, he put Joan on the ground. He then looked at the helicopter, and raised his hand. "Mystical mike stand, to my hand!" He commanded. In a flash of multicolored light, a mike stand, decorated with long ribbons like Steven Tyler's mike stand. He then swung the mike stand. Making noises like a whip, the ribbons lashed out and started to wrap themselves around the helicopter as it started to keel over, as evidenced by the screaming pilot.

"WAH HELP ME I WANT MY MOMMA!" The pilot screamed.

"Don't worry, fella!" Razor called at the pilot. "You'll be back home in your mama's basement downloading photos of Pam Anderson in no time!"

"You're going to pull him back?" Joan blinked. Razor shot her a deadpan look.

"Does the Kid of Rock look like he got superhuman strength to you?" Joan's eyes widened at Razor's statement.

"WHAT?" She exclaimed.

"What, you don't speak English? The Kid of Rock doesn't have superhuman strength." Razor repeated.

"But…how are you gonna stop the helicopter from falling?" Joan exclaimed in horror. She couldn't believe it! This guy was acting almost unnaturally nonchalant about this whole thing. Razor only smirked.

"Fancy flyin', babe!" Razor retorted. "BON JOVI BOOSTER!" Kid Razor took off at great speed in a diagonal direction, clutching his mike stand. Even though Razor didn't have the strength, the momentum he created did the job perfectly. It allowed Razor to hoist the helicopter up into the air behind him. The Fearless One then flew around in a circle to maintain the momentum. Finally, Razor hit the brakes, causing the helicopter to slide onto the roof, the ribbons around it releasing. He flew down, noticing the window had puke on it. "Heh. The guy had a lot of pizza before flyin'." Razor joked. He opened the door, and noticed the pilot had vomited all over himself.

"I like pretty horses…" He mumbled weakly.

**Cleveland, Ohio, present day**

"Hoo boy…" Kid Razor sighed as he watched Tusk and Rhino brawl.

"You smeghead!" Rhino yelled as he whacked Tusk upside the head with a park bench.

"You should talk, you tetchy-!" Tusk yelled as he drove a lamppost into the Rhino's gut. The Fearless One flew down to get a better look at the action. When he landed, he noticed the drunk Shocker lying on a nearby bench. The Ultimate Rockstar raised an eyebrow, and walked over to the plastered purloiner.

"Hey Schultz. Welcome back to Cleveland." Razor greeted, crossing his arms. Shocker looked up.

"Now you look here, Mr. Guitar Boy…" Shocker slurred. "I haven't done nothin' today." He started poking Razor's shoulder. "I just came here to relax, go to that Rock Hall, perhaps even score! You can't judge me! I got rights! I ain't done nothin'! It's these idiots!"

"Relax, I know." Razor sighed, pushing off Shocker's hand. "Did you get drunk before or after the steroid freaks over there started fighting?" The Shocker blinked blearily.

"…I don't remember." He shrugged. "All I know is, they fight, then I drink." Razor rolled his eyes.

"Okay, how'd it start?" Razor inquired.

"Am I gonna get arrested?" Shocker slurred.

"…Did you do anything illegal?" Razor smirked.

"…Uh…" Shocker mumbled. "Is drinking illegal in Ohio?"

"No."

"Okay." Shocker sat up. "Well, we sit at a sports bar, and Tusk there…Rhino and Tusk start arguing about game, and boom! We gotta fight!" Shocker grinned stupidly. "I didn't even throw a punch, so I don't get arrested! Whoopee!"

"Great…" Razor sighed. "Okay Schultz. You stay here and go count sheep. I'll deal with Larry and Curly over there." The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll grabbed his guitar and went over to the two brawling powerhouses.

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

"Aw, crud." Spencer winced as he saw the ball Mr. Fahrenheit throw head straight towards him. _Knowing that flame-throwing idiot, that's not a Christmas present he just pitched at me!_ Thinking fast, Spencer grabbed a plank of wood and hit the ball like a baseball player, sending it flying into the air. The ball flew upwards. Spencer quickly fired a sonic blast at it, which caused it to fly through the big top's roof and explode in a huge cloud of flames. "Now _that_ is what I call a Home Run Heater! Heh heh. I'd like to see Kid Razor beat that joke."

"Ah, crap!" Mr. Fahrenheit cursed in frustration.

"Oh, your day has just _begun_ to go badly, Pierce." Spencer chuckled. He zipped up to the pyrotechnician and punched him, knocking him into a support beam. "Heh heh."

"Grrr…" Mr. Fahrenheit snarled as he got to his feet. "AGH!" He ended up having a knocked-cold Ernesto and Luigi Gambonno thrown on him. Spencer turned his head and saw the Frog-Man, who shot him the thumbs-up, grinning under his mask.

"Hey, thanks!" Spencer waved.

"No prob, SB." Frog-Man grinned. Spencer chuckled. A snarling Ringmaster turned on his hat. "Look out!" The Ringmaster fired a hypnotic beam at the two local heroes. Unfortunately for the evil circus leader, Spencer and Eugene were too fast. The heroes leapt out of the way. Spencer did a forward roll and fired a sonic beam from his gauntlet. The beam knocked the hat right off Ringmaster's head.

"Hey what OOG!" Ringmaster exclaimed, only to get cut off by the Frog-Man as he punched the green-and-purple-garbed man out with a dropkick to the face.

"Alright." Spencer nodded. "Now let's round up the rest of these sideshows and get these people back to normal."

**A short time later**

"Hey! Watch your hands!" Princess Python snapped at a couple members of Cincinnati's finest as they shoved her into the back of a police car.

"It's gonna be the Raft for you, lady." One of the officers grumbled as he stuck the snake charmer in the back of the squad car. Meanwhile, one of the officers was struggling with her python. "And if any of you yahoos hurt one scale on mah Marsha's body, Ah shall make y'all regret it!" Back inside the tent, the Frog-Man was doing some work.

"Okay, folks…" The amphibian-armored hero told the circus spectators as he used the Ringmaster's hat to free them from their trance. "Time for you all to wake up."

"You alright, Mom?" Spencer helped Delilah to her feet. She was shaking her head.

"Oh, dear." She mumbled, shaking her head in an attempt to get all the cobwebs out of it. "I guess this trip turned out to be another disaster, didn't it?" She sighed. Spencer chuckled.

"Ah, don't worry about it, Mom. I had a good time." The Iron Speedster chuckled.

**_Next: Rocket and Roll_** _Kid Razor goes to Cape Canaveral to take on the Weatherman, who is intent on stopping a launch! Guest-starring the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers!_


	56. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Stay in school." – Ice-T as Detective "Fin" Tutuola, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit**

_**Chapter 56: Rocket 'n' Roll: Part 1**_

**Miami, Florida**

"Whoa…" An auburn-haired teenager whooped. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He was dressed in a sleeveless Black Sabbath t-shirt and green shorts. His hazel eyes were covered by a pair of black Ray-Ban sunglasses. He was Tommy Baines, the drummer of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers, a teenage rock band that also were also a team of young superheroes. Tommy was also known as Steelquake for his mystically-granted ability to manipulate the earth and invulnerability.

The Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers each gained power over an element and a superhuman ability thanks to exposure to the Elemental Star, a mystical star-shaped gem that could split into five pieces. They originally lived in Cleveland, when Kid Razor was a member, but they eventually moved to Miami, deciding to split and find their own success, amicably parting ways with Razor. However, that didn't mean the six young superheroes didn't get together on occasion anymore. They most recently teamed up again to take down Motorhead. **(1)**

"Yeah…" A slightly older teenager smiled in agreement. He had short black hair, and he was dressed in a CBGB t-shirt, a Cleveland Indians letterman jacket and blue jeans. He was Alex Baines, Tommy's older brother. He was the Cavaliers' bassist, and he was also codenamed Windspeed for his ability to manipulate wind and his superhuman speed. "Isn't it great?"

"Oh, yeah." Tommy grinned. "It's so awesome." The two Baines Brothers stood at a beach, checking out the beach bunnies. "Aw, man…this is what I love about Miami, bro. The only time you ever got to see chicks in swimsuits back home in Cleveland was at a tanning salon."

"Tell me about it." Alex agreed. "Man, I'm glad we decided to come here and defend this city."

"Hello…" Tommy grinned widely as he saw a blonde in a pink bikini walk towards them. Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Hey Tom, maybe I should show you how it's done, bro." Alex smirked. He quickly brushed his short black hair with his hand in an attempt to make sure it was nice and neat.

"Oh, this'll be good." Tommy snickered to himself. Alex cleared his throat as he approached the blonde.

"Hello." He smiled charmingly. The blonde smiled.

"Hello."

"You must know who I am." Alex smirked. The blonde grinned.

"Yeah, you're like, one of the Cavaliers." She grinned. Alex shot Tommy a triumphant look. The younger Baines brother only answered by rolling his eyes.

"He'll get shot down. Just wait for it…" Tommy smirked to himself. Alex went back to the blonde.

"That's right, gorgeous. I am one of the Cavaliers. I'm Windspeed, baby. I'm as fast as the wind."

"And full of hot air, too." Tommy muttered. Alex didn't hear the remark, because if he did, he'd have left Tommy in the middle of a tornado.

"Although you can call me Alex." Alex smiled charmingly. He took the blonde's hand and kissed it, making her giggle. "I'm just a young rocker looking for a lovely lady to play a private show for tonight." The blonde giggled.

"Aw, that's sweet." She giggled. "Maybe some other time." She walked away, smiling at Alex. A blinking Alex watched her walk away. Tommy burst out laughing.

"BWA-HAHAAAAA! Man, you suck!" Tommy laughed. "God, dude! You were so very close, yet so very far! BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Alex sneered at his auburn-haired younger brother.

"Oh, go choke on your drumsticks!" Alex snapped, flipping his younger brother off.

"Oh, yeah! That's _real_ intimidating." Tommy rolled his eyes. "I can do that!" He flipped off Alex.

"I oughta kick the stuffing outta you!" Alex snapped.

"I'm invulnerable, man!" Tommy smirked smugly. "You can't even hurt me, punk!"

"Wouldn't stop me from sucking the air out of your lungs, man." Alex growled.

"Go ahead and try it, you little-!" Tommy growled back, getting in his older brother's face. It looked like the Baines boys were about to engage in another one of their infamous brawls. Kid Razor referred to Tommy and Alex as the "Brawling Baines Brothers" because they became well-known for their fistfights. Tommy and Alex's fistfights were the stuff of legends. And the fights only got worse when the boys gained superpowers. However, thankfully for Miami, their latest fight got cancelled by a cell phone ringing.

"Mine." Alex announced. He pulled out his cell phone, a small black phone. He flipped it open. "Yello? Hi, Rip." Alex greeted. "No, Tommy and I were not gonna start another fight." Tommy's jaw dropped.

_He's lyin' through his teeth!_ Tommy thought. _But then again, I don't blame him._

**Rock 'n' Roll Cavalier HQ, Miami, Florida**

"Boring…Boring…Boring…" A blue-haired teenage boy, dressed in an Iron Maiden t-shirt and blue jeans, muttered as he flipped through the channels. "Reality show…reality show…reality show…Dammit, I'm getting sick and tired of reality shows." The blue-haired boy was named Daniel Carrington. He was the keyboardist of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. His keyboarding skills earned him the nickname Fingers. He also went by a third name: Psywave. He was mystically granted power over the element of water and psionic abilities. Born a mutant like the X-Men, the only mutation Fingers had was green hair. When he gained his powers, his hair was turned blue as a side effect. He looked up into the headquarters' kitchen. "Yo Wendy! You know anything we can do tonight? There's nothing on TV!"

"Why don't you go out on patrol with Rip and the Baines boys?" A female voice suggested from the kitchen. The voice belonged to Gwendolyn Ann Anderson, who preferred to be known as Wendy. She was a guitarist for the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. She was also the young heroine called Thunderwing, given the power to fly and manipulate electricity. She was a recognizable girl thanks to her long black hair with the yellow streaks. "They could use the help, considering the fact that Rip also has to worry about Tommy and Alex keeping their minds on the job and stop them from fighting." Fingers rolled his eyes.

"Oh, yes. Spend time with the Baineses. Oh, the fun conversations we have." Fingers sighed. "Hey Wendy, you makin' sandwiches for all of us?"

"No, Fingers!" Wendy grumbled. She stood at the doorway with crossed arms. The beautiful teenage heroine was dressed in a yellow halter top and blue jeans. "Once Rip comes back from patrol, he and I are going to the park for a nice relaxing picnic. Just the two of us." Fingers shrugged.

"Whatever you say, Wendy." The blue-haired heroic musician shrugged. He then switched to the news. A report caught his attention. "Hello…Yo, Wendy! Listen to this!" He turned it up.

"And in other news, in Cape Canaveral today, NASA announced that they are launching a new weather observation satellite this afternoon."

"Why is _that_ fascinating?" Wendy raised a black eyebrow. "It's just another weather satellite. How do you think Al Roker finds out what the weather is today? What's so special about this one?"

"They say that this satellite contains technology that allows even better recording and analysis of weather patterns."

"So?" Wendy shrugged.

"And there's some controversy about this satellite because it's using plutonium as a power source." Fingers added.

"Plutonium?" Wendy blinked. "Isn't that stuff radioactive?"

"Yeah." Fingers nodded. "And it's scaring people. The satellite's been getting its share of protests. People are afraid of the fact that it's being powered by radioactive materials. They're afraid if something goes wrong, it could cause a radioactive disaster."

"That's understandable." Wendy nodded. "I recently got a call from Spencer. He said the Weatherman broke out of prison when he heard about this satellite."

"Weatherman?" Fingers blinked. "Isn't he the crazy hippie who thinks that the planet speaks to him or something?"

"Yeah, that's him." Wendy nodded. "Sonic Blue thinks that he may be coming here."

"How?" Fingers blinked. "Miami is very far away from Cincinnati."

"Sonic Blue thinks he may have snuck onto an airliner." Wendy smirked. "The Weatherman's a crazy, but he isn't a stupid crazy."

"Great." Fingers sighed. "And _we_ gotta deal with him?"

"Miami's our town." Wendy reminded.

"But Local Heroes have been to each other's cities before. Why doesn't he come here?" Fingers wondered.

"He and Frog-Man are busy, I guess." Wendy shrugged. "They got super-villains to deal with back home, too."

"Me thinks this Weatherman loon will try and hit the satellite." Fingers deduced.

"Bingo." Wendy nodded. "Let's call the boys and tell them to come back here. If the Weatherman is out to stop that satellite, he'll pull every meteorological trick in the book to do it."

**_Next: Rocket and Roll, Part 2_** _Kid Razor joins the Cavaliers as the World's Wildest Heroes hit Cape Canaveral!_

**(1) – See the "Reunion Tour" storyline**


	57. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "That could be interesting…or it could damage many, many lives." – Marge Simpson, the Simpsons**

_**Chapter 57: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 2**_

**Downtown Cleveland, Ohio**

Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor, Cleveland's superpowered protector, was out on patrol. The rock music-powered young hero streaked through the sky in a flash of rainbow light.

"_Blinded by the light…_" Razor sang to himself happily. "_Revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night. Blinded by the light…_"

"Beloved!" He heard a familiar voice holler at him. Razor sighed.

"_I wish that Ramada would stop calling me that…_" The blond-maned rock 'n' roller sighed. He turned his head and saw the alien princess fly towards him, Altoc not far behind him. "Hi, Ramada."

"Greetings, Razor." Altoc greeted warmly. Razor flatly looked at the alien disco ball-like device.

"Oh, hello Disco Ball." Razor greeted back flatly. "Didn't see you there." He turned his head back towards Ramada. "Hey Ramada, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, Beloved?" Ramada cocked her head. Razor groaned, pinching his nose.

_At least she doesn't glomp the Kid of Rock._ "Where do you live? The Kid of Rock never sees where you go when you're not helping him out on patrols. You have a place to stay or something?"

"Yes." Ramada nodded. "I stay in my spaceship." Razor blinked.

"Your spaceship?" The Kid of Rock blinked. "Where do you put your spaceship?" Ramada scrunched her face in thought, then she told Razor where she put it. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll groaned.

"You still have it in the park where you first landed on Earth in?" Razor sighed. Ramada nodded.

"Yes." The Hispanic-looking alien girl smiled. "It has cloaking capacity, so it cannot be seen." Razor blinked.

"Oh-key…" The Ultimate Rockstar blinked. "I'm surprised no one's accidentally conked their heads on the blasted thing."

**The park**

"_Holdin_' _my hand as she was walking next to me, singing Do-Wah-Diddy-Diddy-Dum-Diddy-Do…_" A man sang as he jogged down one of the park's pathways. He started whistling as he cut across one of the large green patches of grass. A clonk was heard as he hit his head on the metallic hull of Ramada's invisible ship. He fell on the ground, knocked cold.

**Downtown Cleveland**

"No one has, as far as I know." Ramada shrugged. Razor's superhuman hearing immediately picked up a commotion.

"Come on, Ramada." Razor waved. "The Kid of Rock heard something."

"One of your regular rogues requires dealing with?" Altoc inquired. Razor smirked.

"Not exactly, Disco Ball." Razor answered cryptically. He flew off in a streak of rainbow light. A puzzled Ramada looked at Altoc for a second, then flew off after Razor. She and Altoc managed to catch up with the Fearless One as he started to touch down at a street.

"Beloved, what is going on?" Ramada asked. Razor smirked and pointed at a TV store, where several people were gathering around the window display.

"Why don't we find out, you Space Case?" The blond-maned teenage super-rocker chuckled. He and Ramada walked up towards the crowd. One kid turned around and noticed them.

"Hey, look!" He pointed out, causing the crowd to turn around. "It's Kid Razor!" The crowd gasped in awe and moved aside.

"Thank you, thank you…" Razor snickered. Ramada smiled. She was used to people moving aside for her, being a princess and all.

"These people treat you like royalty, Beloved." An awestruck Ramada whispered into Razor's ear.

"So was Elvis back in the day." Razor smirked back. He looked at the television. The news was being broadcast.

"And in other news today, NASA has announced that they will be launching a new weather satellite from their famous Cape Canaveral launching site."

"Big deal." Razor snorted. "They send up weather satellites all the time! How do you think that Al Roker, the King of Ex-Fat Asses, knows what the weather will be tomorrow?"

"I have heard that humans are capable of extremely limited space travel, but is that all you can do?" Ramada blinked. "Send up inanimate objects?"

"Nah, we've reached the moon." Razor shrugged.

"That is all? Just your moon?" Ramada looked astonished. "And I have heard you humans are backward." Razor rolled his eyes.

"You never meet Mr. Nerd-tastic, have you?" Razor scoffed.

"As in Reed Richards?" Ramada smiled. "I have heard of him. He's the only one of you humans who possesses any form of basic intelligence." Razor shot her a deadpan look.

"I'm hurt, Ramada. I really am." Razor told her in a deadpan voice. Ramada blinked.

"Of course, you still have your charms and…what does this planet call it? Oh yes, 'boyish good looks', beloved." Ramada grinned. Razor sighed.

"What ever. You don't need to remind the Kid of Rock of how awesome he looks. The Kid of Rock was _born_ lookin' good." Razor chuckled.

"The satellite, called the _Earthgazer_, has garnered controversy, for it uses plutonium for its power source." The news continued. "Protestors have picketed the launching area, voicing fears of possible atmospheric radiation poisoning."

"Plutonium, huh?" Ramada blinked.

"Yeah." Razor nodded. "I guess they are using it because it is a good power source." The Fearless One then heard someone taunting him through song.

"_Razor's got a girlfriend! Razor's got a girlfriend!_" Razor turned around and saw Larry, the guy who seemed to make a living out of trying to make him miserable. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll scowled at Larry.

"Pal, you must _enjoy_ the beatdowns I give you all the time." Razor growled. "Because you're gonna get another one!" Razor angrily grabbed a screaming Larry and threw him into a lamppost. He hit it face-first.

"I like grilled cheese and cake…" Larry mumbled with a stupid grin on his face before falling onto the ground, unconscious.

"Interesting." Altoc nodded. "Razor attacked that man, yet no one seems to care."

"Ah, that's because nobody likes Larry. The guy is a major jerk." A random guy told Ramada and Altoc. She nodded in understanding.

"May I take a shot at him, beloved?" Ramada asked Razor sweetly. Razor looked at Larry.

"Nah, he's had enough." Razor shrugged.

"Look at the dancing stars…" Larry mumbled.

"Anyway, I wanna get back on patrol." Razor told Ramada. He took to the air and the alien princess took off after him.

"I cannot believe you humans explored so little of space." Ramada shook her head.

"Oh, really?" Razor chuckled. "Well, no point when we got a lot of aliens coming _here._" Razor pointed out. "I mean, you ever heard about that time that Earth was made into an intergalactic prison? **(1)** Ho ho, every hero on Earth had fun on _that_ day. I mean, it wasn't bad enough we got every other planet's criminals dumped on us, but they also had to deal with Ego trying to **_eat_** the damn Earth!"

"Yes, I have heard that Earth contains great cosmic significance. It must if your planet could drive off Galactus himself several times."

"Yeah, he tried to eat Earth, too." Razor chuckled. "Everybody wants a piece of Earth. You know why, Ramada? Because Earth people are born to kick ass." His cell phone started to ring. "Yello?"

"Hey, Rock 'n' Roller!" Wendy's voice could be heard on the other end. Razor grinned.

"Wendy, my girl! How's it going?" Razor grinned.

"Wendy?" Ramada furrowed her brow. "Who is this Wendy? Is this the Wendy you have told me about?"

"Yeah, that's her." Razor nodded. "Talk to me, Thunderwing. What's up?"

"You heard about that fancy satellite?" Wendy asked.

"Oh yeah." Razor nodded.

"Well, we heard the Weatherman might be in town."

"The Weatherman?" Razor blinked. "The eco-freak hippie Storm-wannabe? Isn't he one of Sonic Blue's bad guys?"

"That's him." Wendy nodded. "We have heard he may be in Miami."

"I'm sure you guys can handle him. Why call me?" Razor blinked.

"Well…" Wendy smirked. "I figured that since things have been slow in Cleveland, you'd like a good ol' fashioned super-brawl."

"Yeah, I could use one." Razor nodded. "Never could have too many. Miami, here I come!"

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 3_** _Kid Razor hits Miami! Heaven help Miami._

**(1) – The "Maximum Security" storyline, where Earth's heroes have to deal with their planet being made into a prison by an intergalactic council, as well as Ego the Living Planet trying to, as Razor has said, eat Earth.**


	58. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 3

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "It's too late, fat boy! It's over!" Eddie Murphy as Buddy Love, the Nutty Professor**

_**Chapter 58: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 3**_

**Just outside Cleveland**

A bus drove into the city that was home of the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. And sitting on…well, on _top_ of that bus, was a reddish-blond haired man with blue eyes. He was dressed in what appeared to be a black t-shirt with a green button-down shirt over it, and blue jeans. He also had on a brown duffel bag strapped over his shoulder.

_Ahh_…The man smiled to himself. His name was Eddie Brock, former photographer for New York's Daily Bugle newspaper. However, he was more known as the psychotic sometime-hero sometime-villain called Venom, the product of Brock joining in a symbiotic relationship with a black alien that took the form of a costume. The costume was discovered by Spider-Man **(1)** on an alien world, and used by him for a while. Spider-Man eventually rejected the symbiote's attempts to bond with him, so it went to Brock, crating Venom. As a result, Brock became privy to the connection between Spider-Man and his civilian identity, Peter Parker. Venom and Spider-Man have a long history, so Venom decided to go find somewhere new to roost. He figured why not try Cleveland, despite the fact that the city already had two heroes defending it: Kid Razor and Ramada.

_Yes…_ Brock smiled as he looked out at the city skyline. _This will be the perfect new place for us._ He then thought about the current inhabitants. _Let's see…Cleveland has already got the loudmouth rocker and the alien chick…_ He smirked. _But it is a big city. I doubt those two can handle this huge place all by themselves._

**A beach in Miami.**

What appeared to be a skinny hippie sat by himself on a large rock formation. His long blond hair was kept out of his face by a tie-dye headband. His face had on a messy blond mustache and beard, and he had on a pair of wire-frame sunglasses with black round lenses that were perched stylishly low over his face. He was dressed in a tie-dye t-shirt, and a brown vest with bead-covered fringe over the back. He had on faded blue jeans that were ripped at the knees. His lower arms were covered by strange golden bands. He smiled as he kneeled over a patch of grass that was growing within the rock.

"Here you go." He smiled. His armbands started to glow. A small dark cloud appeared over the patch of grass. The cloud started to rain. "There you go." The man smiled, running a gentle hand over the damp grass, almost like he was petting a cat. "Drink up. You'll need this water to grow up big and strong." His real name was unknown, lost to alien alterations and human mental illness.

He was once a homeless hippie that could be described as 'cracked in the head', living in the streets of Cincinnati. However, he was abducted by aliens, and during his time with them, alien armbands were grafted onto his arm. His already-addled mind was further warped, making him believe that the armbands, which allowed him to control the weather, were given to him by the Earth to protect it from polluters. He became a regular opponent of Sonic Blue, dubbed 'The Weatherman' by the media.

"Ahhh." The Weatherman smiled. "It's not easy being a representative of Mother Earth." He looked over in the direction of Cape Canaveral. "Why do people keep doing it? Why do they keep doing this to you? Why do they keep attacking you with pollution? Why are they now trying to send dangerous radiation into your skies?" He shook his head. "I wish they're could see that they're hurting you. I have to show them what they are doing is wrong."

**Miami, Florida**

"_Rocket Man, Sgt. Pepper and the band, Ziggy, Bennie, and the Jets…_" Kid Razor sang happily as he flew over the city of Miami. No, Kid Razor had not abandoned his beloved Cleveland. He was visiting the city because his old friends and bandmates, the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers, asked his help because they had heard a satellite was in danger, and they figured that they could use some extra muscle. He looked down over the sunny city. "Wow." Razor grinned. "When the Cavaliers pick somewhere to watch over, they _really_ pick somewhere to watch over!" He dove downwards to a lower altitude. He flew over a beach, when he started to grin. He then flew lower, floating by a bunch of sunbathing bikini-clad beach bunnies. "Hello, ladies…" Razor grinned. The beach bunnies waved back and smiled. "Heh. Still got it, Razor." Razor flew up to a higher altitude.

"About time you showed up, Six-Strings." A familiar feminine voice chuckled. Razor turned his head and saw Wendy Anderson floating in the air with a mirthful smirk on her face, her Oakleys over her eyes, and her arms crossed.

"Hello there, Gwendolyn." Razor teased.

"Razor, I hate being called 'Gwendolyn'. You know that." Wendy reminded with a sigh.

"I know." Razor smirked. "The Kid of Rock thought it was funny. "Besides, blame your parents for naming you 'Gwendolyn'. Why'd they name you that again?" Wendy sighed.

"My mother named me after my great-grandmother." Wendy rolled her eyes. "She thought 'Gwendolyn' was a regal name."

"Are you sure she didn't mean to name you 'Guinevere'?" Razor snickered.

"Are we here to talk about my name?" An annoyed Wendy grunted.

"Okay. Okay. Relax. Settle." Razor chuckled, waving his hands in a calming gesture. "Don't want to unleash the Incredible Wendy-Hulk all over Miami."

"I don't have that bad a temper, Razor." Wendy shook her head.

"I'm sure." Razor nodded. "So, we gonna hit the Cavaliers' HQ?"

"Yeah, sure." Wendy shrugged. "The gang his missed you, Razor."

"Yeah, I miss you guys, too." Razor smiled. A cell phone ringing was heard. "I believe that's yours."

"No, duh." Wendy chuckled, pulling out a yellow cell phone from her jacket. She unfolded it and looked at the screen. "Ah, crud! I owe that jerk Fingers twenty bucks."

"What happened?" Razor wondered.

"I bet on the Miami Heat to win the game. They lost." Wendy sighed.

"Traitor!" Razor teased. Wendy put her phone to her face.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe." A familiar voice answered on the other end. Razor's super-hearing easily picked up the voice.

"Hey, Rip!" Razor called.

"Hey, guy." Wendy smiled, recognizing her boyfriend "Rip" Jones on the other end. "What's up?"

"I heard Razor." He told Wendy.

"Yeah, he's here." Wendy nodded. "Where are you hiding out?"

"I'm over at Cape Canaveral." He responded. "I got the guys over there, too. We'll be ready for the Weatherman."

"Spencer told you about him, right?" Razor frowned.

"Yeah." Wendy nodded.

"Yeah, he's the crazy hippie." Rip answered over the phone.

"Hmmm…" Razor started scratching his head.

"What is it, Razor?" Wendy blinked.

"Well…" Razor answered. "If Spence told you about the Weatherman, then he must've told you about the way he operates."

"Yeah." Wendy nodded.

"He told us." Rip confirmed.

_Same ol' Spence._ Razor chuckled. _Always keepin' everyone in the know._

"Yeah. Weatherman will try to avoid casualties." Rip remembered.

"Kind of funny, considering the fact he's a known criminal." Wendy frowned.

"He's a hippie. What do you expect?" Razor snickered. "The guy has issues with people, but he tries not to hurt 'em because people are a part of nature too, or something like that."

"Oh yeah." Wendy nodded.

**Cape Canaveral**

Fingers, Tommy, and Alex stood around near the launch site.

"Man, this is boring!" Tommy whined. He then pulled out a Game Boy from his jacket and started playing it.

"You think _I'm_ enjoying this?" Fingers sighed. "I could be home right now watching the Simpsons on my computer." He noticed that Alex zipped up to the two boys, munching on a hot dog. Fingers furrowed his brow. "Where'd you get that hot dog?"

"From that cart over there." Alex pointed out a snack cart that was standing nearby. The attendant, dressed in a white hat, blue shirt, khaki shorts, and a red apron, looked up and smiled. He waved at the boys.

"Hey fellas!"

"Thanks again, Billy!" Alex waved at the server.

"Hmm…" Fingers scratched his chin. "I've seen that guy a lot around our battles lately."

"Yeah, I had noticed that too." Tommy agreed. "I wonder…" He and Fingers looked at Alex.

"What?" Alex blinked. "I get hungry." Fingers walked up to the cart. "Buddy, who are you? Why are you seen all the time at our super-brawls?"

"Buddy…" Billy smirked, pointing at Alex. "That guy puts my kids through college." The sky darkened.

"Aw, crud…" Fingers groaned.

"Hey…" Tommy noticed a huge black storm cloud rolling up. "Is that normal?"

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 4_** _Kid Razor and his fellow Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers versus the Weatherman!_

**(1) – During the "Secret Wars" mega-crossover from 1984. Spider-Man's costume sustained a lot of battle damage, and he operated what he thought was a costume-making machine in an attempt to get a new one, and the future Venom symbiote appeared.**


	59. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 4

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Get me tools and beer!" – Homer Simpson, _Blame It on Lisa_**

_**Chapter 59: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 4**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Ramada, an intergalactic princess, had originally come to the planet Earth to seek a potential mate. She found that potential mate in Cleveland, Ohio, in the form of their superpowered defender, the teenage rock sensation known as Kid Razor. The alien princess never believed that she would find herself staying on this planet. However, she slowly found herself growing to like this little blue planet. There were times when she wished the Earth wasn't so backwater, but she found that Earth possessed things that she had never seen on her homeworld.

"Mmmm…" She smiled happily as she sipped a drink through a straw. On Earth, she had discovered the joys of chocolate milkshakes. She had instantly fallen in love with the Earth treat, and she always went out when on patrols to get herself a milkshake. The floating orb named Altoc sighed at his charge.

"Ramada…" Altoc sighed. "Have you considered the possibility that all these milkshakes may not be good for you? They call milkshakes 'junk food' on this planet for a reason." Ramada cocked her head to the side in confusion, looking at her milkshake.

"But it is so delicious." Ramada frowned. "How could something that provides such delight _possibly_ be dangerous?" Altoc sighed.

"Milkshakes provide no nutritional value, Ramada…" Altoc started. "However, considering that your physiology is rather different from a human's, then…" He suddenly stopped. Ramada noticed this, and her brow furrowed.

"Altoc…are you alright?" Ramada frowned.

"…I sensed a familiar bio-signature from a nearby rooftop…" Altoc reported. "The rooftop of the _Cleveland Star_, to be exact. It is of the human known as Joan Frehley." Ramada's frown deepened.

"Yes." Ramada nodded. "The Frehley woman."

"Are you…jealous, Ramada?" Altoc inquired, unable to hide the amusement the orb couldn't help but have here. The alien princess scowled at the disco-ball like orb.

"Why would I be jealous of that human?"

"Simple, Ramada." Altoc chuckled. "Kid Razor and Joan Frehley are close. They do work together a lot. And Razor appears to have some genuine affection for the Earth woman."

"Huh." Ramada grunted. She flew downwards towards the rooftop. There, she found Joan Frehley standing on the rooftop of her father's building, writing something in a notebook. She often went to the roof to write because looking out at the city provided a great source of inspiration for her. She turned around and noticed Ramada landing.

"Hey, Ramada." Joan blinked. "Something bothering you?"

"She's just feeling a little frustrated because Kid Razor won't be her mate." Altoc chuckled. Ramada scowled at the orb.

"Altoc, be quiet!" Ramada snapped. Joan chuckled.

"I'm not surprised." Joan remarked. "And you shouldn't be, either. Kid Razor is not the type to be tied down easily. He's just one of those people." Ramada sighed.

"How do you do it?" The alien princess crossed her arms. "It is obvious Kid Razor finds you…intriguing." Joan scoffed.

"Please." The teenager flipped her brown hair back. "Kid Razor is only interested in me because I'm beautiful. He could care less if I was smart or if I was an air-headed bimbo."

"Really?" Ramada blinked skeptically.

"Oh yeah." Joan scowled. "I've talked with Razor quite a lot in my time, and let me tell you something, Ramada. Kid Razor likes to think himself quite the charmer, when in actuality, he's nothing but an arrogant jerk who thinks he's God's gift to women." Ramada frowned.

"Really?" Ramada frowned, crossing her arms. "You seem to have such a bad opinion of Razor, yet you seem to enjoy the attention he gives you." Joan sighed.

"Ramada, I may think of Razor as a jerk…" Joan shook her head. "But I never questioned his abilities as a crimefighter. If it weren't for Razor, Cleveland would've been blown off the face of the Earth a long time ago."

"He does seem interested in you." Ramada noted. "He talks about you a lot."

"I ended up being one of his staunchest supporters, even though he never looks at my face when he speaks to me." Joan sighed. She then looked at the alien princess. "Is something wrong, Ramada?" She shook her head.

"No, there isn't." She flew off. Altoc stayed behind, hovering near Joan.

"Forgive her, Miss Frehley." Altoc apologized. "Ramada's been feeling a little jealous lately. She's noticed that Razor has a lot of women in his life."

"I don't think she should worry." Joan smirked. "Razor and Thunderwing aren't up to anything, and all the female superheroes he's worked with are all either taken or think he's an idiot." Altoc moved up and down slightly, his version of a nod.

"I see." The electronic orb understood. "Then Ramada has nothing to worry about."

"Razor's not the type to do romantic things." Joan chuckled. "He's driven more by lust than anything."

**Miami, Florida**

"What is that?" Tommy Baines, the invulnerable geomancing drummer called Steelquake, pointed at the storm cloud.

"Ten bucks says that that's what happens when Storm wakes up on the wrong side of the bed." Alex Baines, the super-fast aerokinetic codenamed Windspeed, winced.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me." Daniel "Fingers" Carrington, the blue-haired mentalist and water-controller codenamed Psywave, groaned.

"That…can't be normal for Miami." Tommy shook his head.

"Oh, no duh. You _think?_" Alex grunted. The huge black storm cloud parted, revealing a hovering Weatherman. "And I suppose you just got the brilliant thought that a flying hippie with glowing golden armbands isn't normal either?"

"You know, Alex, I'm getting damn sick and tired of calling me stupid!" Tommy growled at his brother.

"I'll call you anything I want to, you little punk!" Alex snapped back.

"I'll bury you, man!" Tommy threatened.

"You even _think_ it, and I'll pull the air right out your lungs, you-!" Alex threatened.

"Hey! Hey!" Fingers separated the two Baines brothers. "Look!" He pointed upwards. Kid Razor flew towards the launching pad. Right behind him was Wendy Anderson, the flying electrokinetic codenamed Thunderwing, flying in an electrical aura. She was carrying her boyfriend, the super-strong fire-wielder codenamed Flamefist, in her arms.

"Normally Wendy, the guy carries the girl in his arms." Rip remarked.

"Which one of us was granted the superhuman power, smart-aleck?" Wendy smirked. Rip sighed. "That's right. And don't you forget it."

"This is embarrassing." Rip sighed, crossing his arms.

"It could be worse, Rip." Razor reassured. "Wendy could've been butt-ugly." The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll burst out laughing at his own joke.

"Razor…" Wendy glared at the blond-maned super-rocker. "You are _so_ lucky that I do not want to drop Rip on his butt right now."

"Aw, relax Wendy. You know the Kid of Rock was only joking around." Razor chuckled.

"Dude, I'm in a precarious position, man!" Rip exclaimed. "Hey, look at that storm cloud."

"Weatherman at twelve o' clock high." Razor chuckled. "Heh. I used the word 'high' in reference to the Weatherman." The three landed near the other Cavaliers.

"Where the hell have you guys been?" Fingers grunted, crossing his arms.

"Ah, sorry the Kid of Rock was late." Razor apologized in his ever-joking tone. "You see, the Kid of Rock was busy separating Rip and Wendy. They wouldn't stop making out."

"Heh heh, I'm not surprised." Tommy smirked.

"You and me both, brother." Alex chuckled.

"Are you two idiots finished?" Wendy groused.

"I have come to warn you of a terrible danger!" The Weatherman boomed.

"What? Tie-dye is coming back?" Razor mocked. "Oh great! Looks like Van Dyne is at it again! That woman is going to drive us all nuts with her fashion plate stuff!" The Weatherman ignored Razor's mocking.

"Nice job, Razor." Alex complimented sarcastically. "Good thing he's a hippie. If you _did_ tick him off, we'd be in trouble."

"Do you have any idea of the potential damage you are doing to your Mother Earth?" The Weatherman boomed out. "You plan to send that satellite into space. You claim it is safe, even though it contains poison!"

"Poison?" Tommy blinked.

"The plutonium." Fingers reasoned. "It's radioactive. Poisonous."

"If something happens, and that satellite is broken, the poison will be unleashed, causing Mother Earth to grow sick and weak, until she is unable to support the very life you see every day!"

"Oh, shut up!" Alex snapped, sending a wind blast.

"Alex, you idiot!" Rip snapped. However the wind blast didn't harm the Weather man, with a flash of his armband and a wave of his arm, he sent it in another direction: Straight up. "Whoa."

"This is bad." Alex winced.

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 5_** _The six mighty Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers face off against the Weatherman. Can they beat him, even though three Cavaliers' powers are useless against him? Find out next!_


	60. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 5

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "His name is WHAT?" – What I can imagine Superman on JLU would say when he finds out about who Supergirl fell in love with in the episode "Far From Home".**

_**Chapter 60: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 5**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Joan Frehley sat on the rooftop, not believing her ears. She was standing on the rooftop of the _Cleveland Star_'s building, owned by her father. The teenage girl was speaking with what appeared to be a floating small disco ball. The disco ball was actually the alien robot named Altoc.

"I can't believe Ramada is jealous of me." Joan shook her head. "I just can't believe it."

"I cannot believe it either." Altoc agreed.

"…Don't you think you should be keeping an eye on Ramada?" Joan remembered.

"Ramada is powerful, but she is smarter than people give her credit for." Altoc reassured. "She can take care of herself for a little while."

"I hope so." Joan nodded. "But still, it amazes me that she is jealous of me." She shook her head, brushing back some hair behind her ear.

"Yes, it amazes me as well." Altoc admitted. "Ramada is not used to not getting her way."

"Yeah, I can imagine." Joan rolled her eyes. "Does she actually believe that…me and Razor…"

"I do not blame her for assuming things." Altoc sighed. "You and Razor spend a lot of time together. You often stick up for him."

"That's because even though Razor has flaws…" Joan started. "A lot of flaws…he doesn't do a half-bad job as Cleveland's superhero." She smiled. "I am willing to admit, if it weren't for him, I'd be dead now. And if it weren't for Razor, Cleveland would've been blown off the face of the earth a long time ago."

"Yes." Altoc nodded. "Kid Razor is very dedicated, even though it may not seem that way at first glance."

"Mm-hmm." Joan agreed.

"I do feel bad for Ramada." Altoc sighed. "She doesn't quite understand why Kid Razor would spurn her advances."

"Because Kid Razor will never be a one-woman man." Joan shook her head. "He enjoys flirting far too much."

"I have noticed." Altoc chuckled. "I have looked at footage of him on Earth television. He has garnered himself quite a reputation for being…unpredictable."

"Tell me about it." Joan sighed. "The first time I ever really got to talk to him, he acted very obnoxious. He spent half the time trying to hit on me!"

"I see…" Altoc processed that information.

"Man, I'm glad Bobby is not like Razor." Joan smiled.

"Robert Parkins. Your boyfriend, correct?" Altoc deduced.

"Yeah." Joan smiled. "Bobby's a very nice guy. Totally not like Razor. Bobby is very sweet, a little shy, and a great and loyal guy. _Way_ not like Razor. Razor is brash, he's arrogant, he's full of himself, he's a letch…"

"He cannot be as bad as you say he is, Joan." Altoc countered. "Kid Razor may be all those things, but deep down, I can tell that he has the heart of a hero within him."

"Why do you say that?" Joan blinked.

"You have said it yourself." Altoc explained. "You would not be alive if it weren't for Kid Razor. Nor would this city still be here."

"Yeah, you got a point." Joan nodded. "I just hope Ramada gets over this."

"She's just not used to being said no to." Altoc shrugged. "She can act spoiled sometimes, but she does have a good heart. She'll see that there's nothing between you and Razor."

"I hope so." Joan agreed.

**A warehouse in Cleveland**

"Whoo lordy!" A gang member grinned as he tore open a crate and pulled out a futuristic rifle. Several local gangbangers had broken into a warehouse containing futuristic weaponry that was seized by the police. They seized the weapons that were left behind from the Predator invasion a while back. **(1)** The Cleveland PD were hoping that people from the New York PD would come along and pick up the stuff, considering those guys were a _lot_ more experienced with dealing with this kind of stuff.

"Hey, lookit these!" Another picked up a helmet. "What a goofy thing!"

"Looks like a helmet from a space invader!" A third gangbanger joked.

"I think it is, man." A fourth realized. He started looking around. "Heh. This stuff all looks like it came from a sci-fi nerdfest." A thump was heard from the roof. "What was that?" The gangbangers all looked around, and then looked up. On the skylight was an overly-muscled man clad in an all-black costume, with white eye-patches like on Spider-Man's costume, assuming a Spider-Man like pose on the skylight window. His white black widow wraparound chest emblem was obvious, as was the sharp teeth forming a grin. It was Venom.

"Oh, my God!" The first gangbanger's jaw dropped.

"What the hell is _that?_" The second gangbanger exclaimed.

"Aw, God!" The third gangbanger winced at Venom's mug. "He is one butt-_fugly_ mother-!"

"Hello, boys!" Venom grinned. "We were in the mood to try out some of Cleveland's brain cuisine. You look like you may have such succulent brains."

**Cape Canaveral, Florida**

"Oh, look." Razor smirked at the hovering Weatherman, who had just deflected a wind blast from Windspeed. "A hippie's arrived for Woodstock. Hey hippie! If you came for Woodstock, you arrived not only in the wrong state, but also a few decades off!"

"Razor, why are you trying to anger the mentally ill hippie with the weather-controlling powers?" Fingers hissed.

"I dunno." Razor shrugged. "I love doing crazy things, I guess."

"Yeah, you must, man. You must really like doing stupid things." Tommy groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"You think that's stupid? Guess what I heard." Wendy told the boys. "Another X-Woman is pregnant?"

"Ooh, let me guess!" Tommy grinned. "Polaris, right?"

"If it's her, the kid'll be a psycho." Razor rolled his eyes. The Weatherman watched the conversation.

_What in the name of Mother Earth?_ The hippie blinked confusedly.

"Oh, yeah, right." Tommy agreed with a nod. "That girl ain't exactly all up there."

"Neither is that Aurora chick." Fingers added. "Chick's hot, but I heard she's got a lot of people running around in that head of hers."

"Actually, I heard she got that fixed up." Wendy scratched her head. "She's also chasing around a certain unstoppable avatar of Cyttorak…"

"The Juggernaut?" Rip blinked. "Man, I remember when he used to be one of the bad guys."

"Ah, all the cool villains are reforming nowadays. It sucks. No one challenging to fight anymore." Razor lamented.

"Excuse me, dude?" Weatherman waved. "Over here, dudes!" However, the six Cavaliers ignored him.

"Anyway, guess which X-Chick is pregnant now?" Wendy grinned.

"Polaris?" Tommy guessed with a growl.

"You already guessed her, dumbass!" Alex snapped, smacking his younger brother upside the head.

"Hey!" Tommy snapped back, grabbing the back of his head. "What was that for, anyway?"

"You being stupid!" Alex growled.

"Hey hey! Break it up!" Rip separated the two young heroes.

"In case you're wondering, it's Psylocke." Wendy sighed. "I'll tell you now, because it'll take you blockheads forever to guess."

"Way to compliment our detective skills, Wendy." Razor teased.

"Who's the daddy?" Fingers blinked. "Because no way would any _sane_ person would want kids with that nutball she's with…" He looked at Wendy. She had on a look that said that Fingers was exactly right. "Oh, hell no…dear God, no…please tell me that is a joke…_Please_ tell me that's just a sick joke, Wendy!"

"Believe me, I wish it was." Wendy sighed. "Deadpool is going to be a father."

"You mean, that man _can_ breed?" Tommy's face showed shock.

"Somebody _wants_ to have kids…_with_ **_Deadpool?_**" Alex looked disgusted.

"Aw, no. Hell, no." Razor groaned. "If Deadpool has kids, then that means there will be more than one person in the world with _his_ whacko DNA. This is worse than a boy band concert." The Kid of Rock shook his head. "Maybe if we're lucky, they'll take after their mother."

"Hopefully." Tommy grinned.

"A goofy ex-merc with a Bea Arthur obsession having kids with a telepathic purple-haired mutant nympho ninja." Rip shook his head. "Those kids are doomed."

"Uh, dudes…" Weatherman piped up. "I like, want to take apart the satellite, man. Aren't you little dudes gonna try and stop me?"

"OH, SHUT UP!" Fingers snapped, firing a pair of jets of supercooled water from his hands at the hovering Weatherman.

"Here, Fingers!" Wendy sent a powerful arc of electricity along the jets. "This'll give his system a bad shock!"

"Like, dudes!" Weatherman waved his hand, and the combined jet of water and electricity went straight up before it could hit him.

"**What?**" Wendy exclaimed.

"You're kidding me!" Rip's jaw dropped.

"Dudes…" Weatherman smiled, shaking his head. "Like, water…wind…electricity…it's all part of the weather, man. And I can control the weather."

"Which means, he must've figured out a way to control winds, water current, and electrical flow. Lovely." Fingers growled.

_This is not good._ Razor grunted mentally.

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 6_** _The Cavaliers versus the Weatherman! Can they win the day, despite three Cavaliers' powers not being able to do the job? Find out next!_

**(1) – In earlier chapters of "The Uncanny Kid Razor".**


	61. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 6

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "I love Chinatown, although I wish they'd stop picking on Tibet Town." Lisa Simpson, from the Simpsons episode "A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love"**

_**Chapter 61: Rocket 'n' Roll: Part 6**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Several squad cars were parked outside the warehouse where the gangbangers encountered Venom. One squad car contained Kid Razor's favorite cops, Sergeants Harold Polanski and Amanda Briscoe. The two emerged from their car, and looked around.

"You have got to be kidding me." Polanski muttered. "A _third_ vigilante in Cleveland?"

"This town is getting as full of heroes as New York is." Briscoe chuckled as she emerged from the car. A uniformed officer approached them.

"Sergeants, we found a witness." He reported.

"Take us to him, officer." Polanski commanded. The uniformed officer lead the two cops towards a gangbanger sitting in the back of an ambulance, a towel wrapped around him. His face had a black eye, and he had a slashmark on his right cheek. He was shivering real bad, and his face was very pale.

"Whoa." Briscoe blinked. "It's not that cold out. He's scared silly."

"Hmmm…" Polanski frowned. "It can't be Razor or Ramada. They're not intimidators by nature."

"Big, man…" The gangbanger stuttered. "Big…b-b-big man…spider…s-s-spider…"

"Huh?" Briscoe blinked.

"Uhhhhhh…" The gangbanger moaned.

"What the hell _happened_ to him?" Polanski asked a paramedic. The paramedic shrugged.

"From what I could get of him…" The paramedic remembered. "He said that this big black guy with a spider on his chest just busted in from the ceiling and beat the royal tar out of him and his buddies. He was lucky to get out of there with his life. When we found him, he was pale and shivering." Polanski looked at the gangbangers.

"Brains…b-b-b-b-brains…" The gangbanger mumbled.

"A big black guy with a spider on his chest, huh?" Briscoe frowned. She then shook her head. "No, it _can't_ be him."

"Can't be who?" Polanski blinked.

"Do you remember a couple or so years back when Spider-Man wore a black costume?" Briscoe asked her partner. Polanski nodded.

"Yeah, I remember that." The crew cut-wearing sergeant nodded. "I was with the NYPD at the time. I remember hearing about Spider-Man growing more violent at the time." He then frowned. "Yeah, but then suddenly, Spider-Man seemed to suddenly calm down again and start wearing the red-and-blue costume once more. But then…" Realization hit Polanski like a ton of bricks. "Oh, no…Venom…"

"Venom?" Briscoe's jaw dropped. "_Here?_ Oh, great!"

"We better contact the San Francisco PD." Polanski sighed. "He used to roost around there for a while."

"Oh yeah, the whole 'Lethal Protector' thing." Briscoe nodded, remembering. "It was a little bit of a scary time in 'Frisco."

"Great." Polanski sighed. "It's bad enough we get our own superhero's villains running around, but now we also have to deal with other heroes' bad guys." The veteran cop shook his head. "Perfect. Just perfect. What next, the Fantastic Four decide to dump the Mole Man here? Or Annihilus? Or even better, the Avengers decide to dump Kang here?"

"Hey, wait a minute." The paramedic wondered. "How do we know it's this Venom guy? It could be someone dressed up as him. Or Spider-Man OD'd on steroids and started wearing the black costume again."

"Sergeant!" A uniformed officer ran up to the two plainclothes officers. "The gangbangers in the warehouse…" He looked ill.

"What's wrong?" Briscoe asked the uniformed officer.

"Their heads…" The uniformed officer shook his head. "Their heads, man…"

"What?" Polanski wondered.

"Their heads, man…got cut open." The uniformed officer shook his head in disgust. "…Their brains are gone, man. Like the perp cut open their heads and took out the brains." Upon hearing that, Polanski turned to the paramedic.

"I think the Venom theory just got confirmed, don't you think?" The sergeant cracked. "After all, Venom _is_ known to take out people's brains?"

"Why?" The paramedic blinked.

"We all gotta eat. Even Venom." Briscoe smirked. The paramedic retched in disgust.

"Aw, God! No way!" He suddenly felt very sick.

"Oh, boy." Briscoe sighed. "I just hope somehow Ramada was made aware of Venom's presence."

"Oh, great." Polanski sighed. "Knowing our luck, somehow, Ramada will _not_ know, and we'll have to end up dealing with a super-brawl between those two."

"In the blue corner, from another world, clad in gold-and-yellow, the Alien Avenger, Ramada." Briscoe quipped. "And in the red corner, from New York City, the Psychotic Symbiote, the Lethal Protector, clad in the black-and-white living costume, Venom."

"Oh yeah, Briscoe." Polanski crossed his arms. "Let's market it like it was Ali-Foreman. The people will _love_ that!" A uniformed officer who overheard let out a grin.

"Hey, I'll put twenty bucks on Venom!" The officer grinned. "The guy saved the life of my cousin Terry in Frisco a while back."

"Really?" Polanski frowned.

"Yeah." The officer nodded. "Terry saw Venom swing by, and the next day, he quit drinking cold turkey. Been sober as a judge ever since."

**Cape Canaveral, Florida**

The shocked Weatherman flew around the Cape Canaveral launch site, amazed that he was being attacked.

"Dammit!" Razor cursed as he flew around the launch area, trying to shoot down the Weatherman. "Dammit, dammit, dammit! Trying to shoot this guy down is like trying to grab an eel!"

"You're telling me!" Wendy Anderson, aka the electrically-powered high-flying Thunderwing, scowled as she did a loop-de-loop. "At least your Power of Rock blasts can hurt him! His blasted armbands allow him to protect himself from my lightning!" Wendy pitched several blasts of ball lightning at the goofy hippie.

"Dude!" Weatherman exclaimed, widening his eyes at that sight of Wendy's ball lightning. He put his fists forward. The ball lightning his fists, making the armbands glow. He then fired the ball lightning back at her.

"Nice try, you hippie!" Wendy scowled, letting the electrical blasts hit her. Electricity arced up and down before her body before disappearing.

"Nice trick, babe." Razor grinned. Wendy smirked.

"I wield electrical power, Razor. Why would it hurt me?"

"Dudes, I'm trying to protect Mother Earth! If she dies, so do all of you!" Weatherman exclaimed as he brushed off a tornado from Windspeed.

"No offense happy, but I think Mother Earth is just fine without your help!" Tommy Baines, the invulnerable terrakinetic codenamed Steelquake, grumbled as his hands and eyes started to glow green. With a rumbling noise, the young drummer caused a section of the concrete ground to crack and hover into the air. "Ha!" He sent the rocks flying towards the Weatherman.

"Dude!" The Weatherman exclaimed. He fired lighting bolts from his fists. The bolts zapped the rocks, causing them to break apart.

"Hey!" Tommy exclaimed. "That ain't fair, man! No lightning! We got lightning!"

"Oh, shut up Tommy!" Alex groused, trying to use his powers to evade baseball-sized hailstones. "We're already in enough trouble without having to deal with you and your bad jokes!"

"Hey man, don't make me make the ground swallow you!" Tommy snapped.

"Can you two argue later?" Rip snapped, throwing fireballs at the Weatherman.

"Dude, you need to totally calm down, man." Weatherman sighed, summoning a rainstorm to distract Rip.

"Aw, crud!" The blond fire-wielding guitarist grumbled. "Dammit!" He tried to get out from under the rain cloud, but it followed him. "Blasted-!"

"Hang on, Ripster!" Alex summoned a wind to blow the cloud away, and then another wind to dry the blond off.

"Thanks, man!" Rip grinned, giving a quick thumbs up.

"We have to distract him!" Razor exclaimed. "He can't possibly keep up with all of us!"

"Dudes, I will take on a million of you in defense of Mother Earth!" The Weatherman exclaimed, creating several tornadoes that pitched the screaming Cavaliers about.

"WAAAAAAA!" The Cavaliers landed in heaps all over the launch area.

"Ohhhhh…" Tommy moaned. "Invulnerable or not, that hurt."

"My spleeeeeeeeen…" Fingers groaned.

"Oh look, there's one of my ribs." Wendy mumbled.

"Geez, he got an upgrade." Razor groaned. "Spence is gonna be ticked."

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 7_** _Ramada meets Venom, and the Cavaliers try to find a way to stop the Weatherman!_


	62. Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 7

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You ain't been hungry since ya won that belt!" – Burgess Meredith as Mick, Rocky III**

--

**_Local Hero Facts (1)_** – _Winger/Jeffrey Dutt was inspired by DC Comics heroes Booster Gold and Hawkman. His codename came from the 80s metal band. Winger's last name and Indian heritage are tributes to Total Nonstop Action wrestler Sonjay Dutt, aka "The Original Playa from the Himalaya". The decision to make him mixed-race was because I couldn't decide if he should be African-American or Indian-American._

--

_**Chapter 62: Rocket 'n' Roll, Part 7**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Ramada and Altoc flew over the skies of Cleveland. Unusually for them, the two were flying in silence. Well, in almost complete silence. The only sound Ramada was making was the slurping caused by her sucking on the straw of a cup containing chocolate milkshakes.

"…Ramada, are you alright?" Altoc wondered at his young alien charge. Ramada's eyes moved towards the disco ball-like orb.

"I am fine." The alien girl sighed.

"…Are you sure?" Altoc asked in an 'are-you-sure' tone. Times like this, he wished he had a face. "You seem like you are lost in thought."

"I do not understand." Ramada sighed. "On my planet, it's considered a great honor to be chosen as a mate to a member of the royal family. Yet, here on Earth, I tell Razor that he was to be my mate, yet he did not seem interested."

"Perhaps on Earth, they do things quite differently." Altoc suggested. "Keep in mind, Earth has not made contact with our own Star Empire. The Kree, definitely. The Skrulls, yes. The Shi'Ar, regular allies of the X-Men.

"Yes, but…" Ramada sighed. "What is it about these Earth women?"

"What about them?" Altoc wondered.

"Well…" Ramada sighed. "It is just…well, I have read up on Razor's superhero career." She looked at Altoc. "I noticed he has done a lot. Been around the planet, and yes, even gone to space."

"Kid Razor in space." Altoc blinked. "Oh dear. How many intergalactic conflicts did he start?" Ramada rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I've noticed that Razor has met and expressed an interest in many other women. Why not me?"

"Perhaps he prefers them older." Altoc joked.

"I just would like to know, why doesn't Razor want me as his mate? What is it about me that he finds off-putting?" Ramada frowned. "The human girl, Joan Frehley, told me that Kid Razor is a person who is not into staying with a permanent mate."

"Well, I have done research on what Razor does." Altoc told the alien princess. "He is what they call a 'rock musician', and rock musicians are expected by the people of this planet to engage in behavior that deviates from the norms of Earth's society." He was about to continue when he picked up a transmission from the police band. "Ramada! There are criminals planning to invade what they call a bank…" He listened further. "And they are being attacked by a large black creature that is being described as 'Spider-Man on steroids'." Ramada raised an eyebrow.

"I have heard of this Spider-Man." Ramada remembered. "And I am aware of the fact that he used to wear a black costume once, but according to Razor, the costume was a symbiote."

"Yes, Earth has had contact with these creatures. They refer to them as 'Living Costumes' here because they resemble clothing." Altoc added.

"Perhaps we should investigate. According to the information I could get on these Earth heroes, there were two scourges created by those creatures." Ramada immediately changed direction. "Altoc! Direct me to the location of the symbiote!" She commanded, jovial at the hope of engaging in battle.

"Yes, my mistress!" Altoc cheered, glad to see she was returning to her old self. He took the lead. "Follow me!" He directed Ramada to an abandoned building. The sound of screams and a general commotion could be heard. She landed in front of the condemned structure, and peeked in through a slit between two boards that were used to cover a window.

"AAAAAH! HELP ME!" A thug screamed as he tried to run away, Venom in hot pursuit.

"Awwww, come back here!" The psychotic anti-hero cackled in a sweet voice. "We just want to try your brains…"

"GET HIM AWAY FROM ME HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!" The thug screamed.

"I think we should do something." Altoc suggested. "He may be a thug, but I do not think that he deserves to have his brain eaten by that monster."

"Yes, he is quite ugly." Ramada grimaced at the sight of Venom. The psychotic black symbiote-human had leapt on a stair railing and was standing on it, preparing to pounce. She unsheathed her sword, and smashed her way into the building.

"Oh, thank God! A _sane_ person!" The thug gasped at the sight of Ramada. "Ya gotta help me, space lady! That Venom guy is psycho! He wants to kill me and eat my brains and probably do unthinkable things to my corpse!" The alien princess blinked at the scared thug.

"Actually, he's lying about the 'unthinkable things to his corpse' bit." A voice told the alien girl. "We just eat brains. We prefer to leave the 'unthinkable things to corpses' to Carnage, our twisted spawn." Venom corrected.

"I do not care who this Carnage is." Ramada frowned. "I wish to know who you are and what you are doing here."

"They call us Venom." Venom introduced himself.

"Ah, yes." Ramada frowned. "I have heard of you. They say you are insane."

"Insane is an understatement!" The thug whimpered, hiding behind Ramada. "He _eats brains_, man!"

"We all have our quirks." Venom shrugged.

**Cape Canaveral, Florida**

"AGH!" Tommy Baines, the invulnerable earth-manipulating drummer codenamed Steelquake, slammed into the ground at a 45 degree angle. He slid about a hundred feet along the ground, leaving a groove. "Ohhh…" He moaned. "Who knew a breeze could blow _that_ hard?"

"I totally need to stop being distracted, man." The Weatherman sighed to himself as he used a tornado to float up to the top of the rocket, which contained the satellite. He fired a small lightning bolt at the rocket's hull. Using the lightning bolt as a cutting laser, the hippie cut a large circle in the hull. The circle fell, revealing the satellite inside. "Okay…now what do I do?" He blinked blankly. "Mother Earth, please tell me what I should do now."

"Mother Earth wants you to stop this foolishness and come home!" A familiar voice quipped. The Weatherman turned around.

"Huh?"

"Today's forecast: Sunny skies with 100 percent chance of hippie beatdown!" Kid Razor joked as he nailed the Weatherman right in the chest with an aerial dropkick to the chest. The Weatherman started to fall to the ground, but Razor caught him by the wrist. Using the momentum of his rescue flight, Razor swung his arm, releasing the screaming hippie, but before he could hit the ground, he summoned a wind to pull himself up. He created another tornado to get himself up to Razor's altitude.

"Dude, what is your problem, man?" The Weatherman groaned. "I'm trying to save the Earth, man! The Earth needs us."

"Easy Rider, what the _hell_ are you blabbering about?" Razor groaned.

"Dude, the Earth gave us our lives, our home, our food! And how do we thank her? You are all ingrates, man! You poison her waters…" The Weatherman started.

"Fish poison the waters too, man. They pee in it." Razor countered with a sigh. **(1)** The Weatherman seemed to ignore Razor's latest rather inappropriate remark.

"…You put acids in her air, you put garbage in her ground." The Weatherman continued. "Why do you do it? Why do you hurt the planet that has given you so much?" Razor crossed his arms.

"You know, you hippies really annoy the Kid of Rock." Razor sighed. "You say you wanna change the world, yet what do you do to fix the problems of this world? You clowns sit around in a park, wear tie-dye, and play bongos all damn day!" The Kid of Rock sighed. "At least when that goofball Texan actor got arrested, it was funny." The Ultimate Rockstar chuckled. "Helped that the pothead was high and naked. Those cops that caught him probably had no idea what to think." The Weatherman opened his mouth to speak, but Razor wouldn't give him the chance. Razor quickly pointed his guitar at the hippie and blasted him right in the chest with a Power of Rock beam.

"OOF!" The hippie grunted. The rainbow-colored energy beam caused the hippie to fall to the ground, only to be caught in a fiery cage, made by Rip.

"We got you now, you goofball." Rip chuckled as the other Cavaliers recovered behind him. Weatherman smiled and shook his head.

"Sorry, dude." He apologized with a warm smile as he created a raincloud to put out the flames. "But I have to go save Mother-!"

_**CLUNK!**_

"Oof." The Weatherman fell flat on his face.

"Nice distraction, pal." Razor complimented. "Allowed the Kid of Rock to get behind him and knock him in the back of the head with the ol' magic six-string." The blonde-maned teen grinned, holding up his magic six-string.

"Oh, now why didn't we just do that in the first place?" Wendy moaned, rubbing her head. "Certainly would've saved us from getting our asses thrown all over the place by wild storms!"

"Yeah, but then it wouldn't have been any fun." Tommy joked. Alex groaned and smacked his younger brother upside the head. "Hey!"

**Cavaliers HQ, a short time later**

The six Cavaliers celebrated their latest victory over the forces of evil in their pad.

"To the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers." Razor raised his soda can. "The greatest heroes ever."

"Here, here!" The other members raised their cans and clinked them together.

"Are you sure you don't want to stick around for a little while, buddy? We're working on our latest album, and it'd be nice to do a song with you again." Rip offered to Razor.

"Yeah." Wendy added. "All six Cavaliers, together again. The fans will eat it up."

"Heh heh, The Kid of Rock would love to, but he's got things to take care of in Cleveland right now." Razor chuckled.

"Hey, listen!" Fingers ordered, shushing the others and turning up a nearby radio.

"And in Cleveland today, one of its heroes, the mysterious girl known as Ramada, has engaged in battle with the psychotic criminal known as Venom…" The radio announced.

"Oh, man…" Razor moaned.

"Hey Razor, ain't Ramada that alien chick you told us about?" Tommy blinked.

"No, she's a different alien chick." Razor retorted, looking at Tommy like he was a blithering idiot. "I guess she got herself into trouble again."

"Hey, bring us along. We'll give you a hand." Wendy offered.

**_Next: Rocket 'n' Roll, Epilogue_** _Kid Razor and the other Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers help break up a fight between Ramada and Venom._

**(1) – I got this line idea from an old wrestling fanfic I read on this site.**


	63. Rocket 'n' Roll, Epilogue

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Look, you stupid bastard! You got no arms left! LOOK!" – King Arthur, Monty Python and the Holy Grail**

--

**_Local Hero Facts_** – _Kid Razor's lucky number is 625. This is a reference to the Def Leppard song "Switch 625", an instrumental song from their album "High 'n' Dry"._

--

_**Chapter 63: Rocket 'n' Roll, Epilogue**_

**The Xavier Institute**

"Ah can't believe it." The power-absorbing mutant Southerner known as Rogue smiled as she opened a present. "Ah just can't believe all the other heroes all gave us presents for our little kids." She wasn't alone. Three other female members of the X-Men all had been blessed with little ones lately. They were the redheaded telepath/telekinetic Jean "Phoenix" Grey, the Scottish werewolf Rahne "Wolfsbane" Sinclair, and the blonde telepath Emma Frost. They were unwrapping presents that the other heroes had gave them in celebration of them having their children.

"Aye." Rahne agreed. The redhead picked up a present. She noticed the tag that had a certain insignia on it. The insignia was a razor blade with bird-like wings on it. The Scottish woman frowned. "Oh dear, this one's from Razor." She opened the tag and read the writing inside out loud. "Tae Rahne and the pups, The Kid of Rock hopes this gift will keep the lot o' ye happy for a while."

"I wonder what that immature guitar-playing imbecile has brought your triplets, Rahne." Emma told the Scotswoman.

"Yeah, I'm curious, too." A voice piped up. The four women turned their heads and noticed Bobby Drake, aka Iceman, standing at the door with a grin. "If Kid Razor sent it, I wanna see it. Because it's gonna be funny."

"And I am sure that you are capable of discerning fine humor, Mr. Drake." Emma frowned, crossing her arms. Bobby shrugged.

"Ah, you know you love it, Frosty. Open it up, Rahne!" Bobby whooped. Rahne shrugged and unwrapped the present.

"What'd he get the Triplets?" Jean wondered. Rahne shook her head.

"He got me and me pups a box of dog biscuits." The Scotswoman told the other three X-Mothers, holding up a box of Milk-Bones.

"BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Bobby burst out laughing. "Oh God, that's funny!" He ran out of the room. "Hey, Lorna! Logan! You guys have got to hear this!"

"I swear, as he gets older, he gets less mature." Jean shook her head. "What does Lorna see in him again?"

"Lorna's not quite right in the head." Emma reminded. She then noticed another package with a tag emblazoned with Razor's insignia. The blonde opened up the tag. "Hmm. It's for Christian."

"Oh, I bet I know what Razor plans to give the little blue ball of fluff." Jean snickered. Emma opened it up. She pulled out a guitar.

"Why am I not surprised?" Emma frowned. The guitar she held up was a replica of Brian May's famous guitar, the Red Special. Only this guitar was white with a light blue-and-silver pickguard and chrome pickups. The words "White Special" were painted on the neck in white and light blue fancy typeface. "And there's a note." Emma frowned as she read the note. "'For Christian McCoy, heir to Brian May.' Ugh. I really wish that Razor would get it through his thick head that I am getting tired of the Queen jokes." She grunted. "I once had to enter that simpleton's mind, and I couldn't get 'Bohemian Rhapsody' out of my head for a week."

"It could be worse, Emma." Jean chuckled. "It could've been a boy band song. At least Razor put a _good_ song from a _good_ band in your head." She opened her present. "Mine's from Razor to Baby Rachel…" She picked up the stuffed animal. "A stuffed phoenix. Heh."

"FREEEEEEEEEEEDOM!" A voice yelled. The X-Women turned their heads and saw Hank McCoy, the blue-furred, Twinkie-loving Beast, standing at the door, dressed in a tartan kilt and sash, and wielding a sword. He was obviously intoxicated. "They may take our lives, but they'll never take our Twinkies! And our FREEEEEEDOM!" He proclaimed in a Scottish accent. He raised his sword and ran off. Emma sighed.

"I thought I hid that blasted Scottish whisky Razor gave him for Christmas." Emma scowled.

**Cleveland, Ohio**

In a flash of light, the six members of the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers materialized in a park located in their original home city of Cleveland.

"Oh, wow." Wendy smiled. "Nice to know things haven't changed much."

"Oh, I know this park." Razor remembered. "Ramada keeps her ship here. She made it invisible so it couldn't be seen. However, she didn't tell me its exact location-"

"OW!" Tommy grumbled, rubbing his head. "I think I found it."

"That's using your head, Tommy." Alex snickered.

"Oh, shut up." Tommy grumbled, rubbing his head. "Man, I glad I don't get bruised or nothing, but do I _still_ need to feel the pain?"

"Huh." Fingers observed. He tapped the spot where Tommy conked his head. "It appears that Thomas has discovered the location of your alien girlfriend's ship, Razor."

"Oy." Tommy grunted, rubbing his head. "I conk my head, and Fingers makes it look like I made a major scientific discovery."

"Well, we found Ramada's ship, how do we get in?" Alex wondered.

"An invisible garage door, perhaps?" Razor suggested mockingly.

"Oh! Kid Razor! I am glad I have found you!" Altoc called in delight as he hovered towards the group.

"What is that?" Rip frowned.

"Meet Disco Ball, gentlemen." Razor introduced with a smirk.

"A-hem." Wendy cleared her throat. Razor sighed.

"And lady." Razor grunted.

"Thank you." Wendy grinned sweetly.

"He does look like a disco ball, don't he?" Rip chuckled.

"Disco pisses me off." Tommy groused, crossing his arms.

"Everything pisses you off, Tommy." Alex sighed.

"Hey you piss me off!" Tommy snapped at his older brother. **(1)**

"My name is Altoc." Altoc introduced himself. "I am the companion of Ramada, princess of Torac."

"Torac?" Rip blinked.

"Ramada's home planet." Razor explained. "She came _this_ close to kidnapping me to her world."

"I don't see why you complain, Razor." Rip chuckled. "You brag all the time about how women fall over themselves to get their paws on you. And Ramada just _adores_ you, man."

"Shut up, Rip." Razor grumbled. "The Kid of Rock doesn't appreciate alien chicks trying to force him to marry them. Even if they are hot."

"I see you brought your old friends, the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers." Altoc noticed.

"Yeah, I brought 'em." Razor snorted. "Thought they'd like a laugh."

"I wish I had time for more formal introductions…" Altoc apologized sincerely. "But Ramada has engaged someone known as Venom in combat."

"Aw, man. Symbiotes in Cleveland? Lovely." Razor groaned.

**Cleveland Mall**

Mallgoers scattered for their lives as the alien princess named Ramada battled with the alien symbiote/human combination called Venom.

"I demand you apologize for your slight!" Ramada yelled at Venom, throwing him into a cheese-and-sausage cart.

"Never!" Venom snapped as he got up. "We stand by what we said!" He picked up a piece of the cart and whacked Ramada in the side, sending her flying. He then fired twin streams of webbing from his fists, catching her in the feet. He gave a mighty tug, sending the screaming girl flying back towards him. Instead of attacking her directly, he swung her around, using his webs to fling her into a wall. "Heh. Little brat." Suddenly, he noticed a bunch of chains made to be what appeared to be electricity wrap themselves around Ramada and stabilize her in mid-air.

"What?" Ramada blinked, looking at the chains.

"It's alright. I got you." Wendy Anderson told the alien. Venom flinched and took a couple steps back as a stream of flame appeared before him.

"Back off, big man!" Rip warned the symbiote. "I know you guys are pyrophobes." **(2)**

"Aw, brother…" Venom grumbled. Razor flew in, the rest of the Cavaliers behind him.

"Venom?" Razor blinked. "The hell are you doing here? The Kid of Rock thought that you were still in New York!"

"We were." Venom winced at the flames Rip had earlier made. "But we decided to go somewhere new to take down criminals."

"So you decided to come to Cleveland. Lovely." Razor sighed.

"Let me go! Let me go!" Ramada demanded, struggling with the chains holding her.

"Uh guys, a little help here?" Wendy tried to keep the chains on the alien girl.

"I got it." Fingers shot a couple jets of supercooled water at the alien. The water froze on contact, covering Ramada up to her neck in a thick layer of ice. Tommy then buried her up to her neck in earth.

"Must you two restrain her like that?" Altoc sighed.

"Meh. Razor told us the lady's a powerhouse, Altoc." Fingers shrugged. "She'll be fine."

"I demand you dig me out at once!" Ramada snapped at Fingers.

"Heh heh." Venom snickered. "Just like Amanda. Feed me! Feeeeed meeee!" **(3)**

"Knock it off!" Razor snapped at the growling Ramada. "Alright, what caused you two to fight?"

"Don't look at us!" Venom raised his hands. "We just busting up some punks when the princess here charged in!"

"He intended to eat the 'punk's' brain!" Ramada shot back.

"Venom eating brains. That doesn't exactly shock anyone." Alex snickered.

"Shut up, Alex." Rip sighed.

"Hey, we get hungry!" Venom snapped at Ramada.

"You are a murderer! You are not welcome here!" She shouted back.

"Man, we should get these guys on Springer." Rip sighed. "Seriously."

"Tell me about it." Wendy grumbled.

"That would _rock!_" Tommy grinned. "Seriously!"

"Tommy, shut up." Alex grunted. Razor sighed.

"Alright, this is stupid." The Kid of Rock grumbled. "Ramada, why'd you pick a fight with Venom?"

"He intended to kill someone." Ramada grumbled.

"We were hungry!" Venom exclaimed. He stepped forward, but Rip caused the fire to intensify, making him stand back.

"Watch it, Slapnuts." Rip warned.

"Easy, Rip." Razor sighed. "Look, Cleveland is a big city. I'm sure there's room here for all of us."

"Whoo-hoo!" Venom whooped.

"WHAT?" Ramada exclaimed in outrage and disbelief. "Beloved, you cannot-!"

"Beloved?" Tommy snickered. "She calls you _beloved?_ Man, you suck Razor!"

"Shut up, Tommy!" Everyone snapped.

"Ramada, stop." Razor sighed. "However…" Razor glared at Venom. "The Kid of Rock has heard of your particular brand of justice."

"Yeah. Over in Frisco." Tommy nodded. "They say you gave the phrase 'Let the Bodies Hit the Floor' a whole new meaning over there." Venom shrugged.

"Actually, that's an exaggeration." Venom corrected. "We're not as bad as the papers over there say we are."

"I'm not so sure about that." Fingers shook his head. Razor ignored the remark and scowled at Venom.

"The Kid of Rock has heard of you Venom, and he didn't like what he heard."

"Yeah, but New York is so full of heroes!" Venom whined.

"So why come to Cleveland?" Razor wondered.

"He probably wanted to check out the Terminal Tower." Tommy snickered. Alex smacked him upside the head. "Ow! Hey!"

"We figured you and Ramada could use some help." Venom explained. "As you said yourself, Razor…Cleveland is a big city." The Kid of Rock sighed.

"Fine." Razor grumbled. "The Kid of Rock supposes that this city is big enough. But one screw-up, and you're getting a one-way ticket outta here via Kid-Razor's-Fringe-Boot-Upside-The-Butt Airlines!"

**_Next: A Tribute to Jerry Springer_** _Kid Razor and a couple of the visiting Cavaliers run into the Frightful Four._

**(1) – A reference to the old South Park game for the Nintendo 64. Cartman grumbled that clones irked him, and Kyle reminded him that everything irked him. It was a good game.**

**(2) – Pyrophobia: The fear of fire.**

(3) – Heh heh, a _Little Shop of Horrors_ reference.


	64. A Tribute to Jerry Springer, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "What're you gonna do, bleed on me?" – King Arthur, _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts _**– _There is a connection between Kid Razor and Superman. Kid Razor's adventures are predominantly set in Cleveland. In real life, two residents of that city, Jerome Siegel and Joseph Shuster, created Superman, the hero who practically created the entire superhero genre!_

--

_**Chapter 64: A Tribute to Jerry Springer, Part 1**_

"_Whooooo_ _are you? Hoo hoo, hoo hoo…_" Kid Razor sang as he flew through the sky. Singing along with him were Wendy Anderson and Alex Baines, the Rock 'n' Roll Cavalier members codenamed Thunderwing and Windspeed. Thunderwing was flying behind Razor thanks to her own power to fly, and Windspeed was flying with the help of his ability to control wind.

"Man, this town hasn't changed much since we last lived here." Wendy smiled as she looked down. "Hey! Old man Mason's sandwich shop is still here! I heard the old guy died. That's so sad. He always had a great selection."

"He ain't dead." Razor groaned. "The old guy faked his death so he could get some insurance money."

"He _did?_" A shocked Alex gasped. "Old man Mason was a con artist?"

"Nah, he needed the money to buy a plasma screen TV." Razor remembered. "It was the stupidest crime the Kid of Rock ever busted."

"Only in Cleveland." Alex chuckled. Razor cocked his head.

"What's up, Razor?" Wendy wondered.

"Quiet!" He ordered the two Cavaliers.

"Attention all units, there is a superhuman disturbance at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame." Razor overheard a police radio. "They have been identified as the Frightful Four."

"Oh no!" Razor exclaimed.

"What is it, Razor?" Wendy asked concernedly. The Kid of Rock narrowed his emerald eyes.

"The Frightful Four at the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame." Razor growled.

"Oh, man!" Alex moaned. "Supervillains at the rock world's answer to Mecca!"

"Oh, they better just be there to sightsee!" Wendy snarled.

"Let's go, Cavaliers!" Razor waved. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll waved as he veered off towards the Rock Hall, Thunderwing and Windspeed right behind him.

"Frightful Four…" Alex scrunched his face. "Hey, isn't that the team with that pink-wearing fruitcup Wizard and the dragon chick?"

"Salamandra, yeah." Razor confirmed. "They also have the Trapster. You know, the retard who went by Paste-Pot Pete?"

"Oh yeah." Wendy grinned. "I heard of them. They're always looking for a fourth member."

"Weren't Salamandra and the Wizard married?" Alex blinked.

"The Wizard is _straight?_" Razor blinked in surprise.

"Evidently he is." Alex confirmed.

"I think they were married." Wendy remembered.

"Hard to believe a chick like Salamandra would even _look_ at a guy like the Wizard, much less marry him." Alex frowned.

"I dunno. I guess some women like hard luck cases." Razor quipped with a chuckle. "I mean, look at Sue Storm. She's a blonde bombshell, yet she decides to marry Mr. Nerdtastic. That clown probably never even saw a chick naked before their honeymoon!"

"Oh, I bet he's seen plenty…" Alex smirked. "In an anatomy book!" The boys burst out laughing.

"Oh grow up, fellas." Wendy sighed. "You know, not having Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie looks doesn't mean that you can't have somebody in your life."

"Yup, that's why God gave us the ability to feel pity." Alex quipped with a smirk. Wendy glared at the bass player. She created a construct of a hand from electrical power. She then used the hand to smack Alex upside the head. "Hey! Ow! What'd I do?"

"You're such a dope." Razor chuckled to himself, shaking his head.

"You know, I heard rumors that the Wizard and Salamandra were reconciling." Wendy remembered.

"Ha!" Razor laughed. "That's a laugh."

**The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame**

"Whoo, yeah!" The supervillain known as the Trapster crowed as he fired his paste gun at the Hall, covering some of the glass panels of the pyramid-like building in adhesive.

"Heh heh! Salamandra loves causing random destruction!" The Latina dragomorph grinned as she transformed into her dragon form and let loose a stream of blue flame at the line of cop cars forming a semicircle around the Hall.

"Ah, crap!" Sergeant Harold Polanski ducked. "Where'd theses clowns come from? Last I heard, they had gotten their butts handed to them by the Avengers." **(1)**

"I see three of them! Where's the fourth?" Briscoe blinked as she peeked up. "They can't call themselves the Frightful Four without a fourth guy.

"Right here, darlin'." A voice smirked. Briscoe and Polanski turned around and saw a large, powerful green-clad man with a cybernetic scorpion-like tail that was tipped with a blade. Appropriately enough, he was known as the Scorpion. He was once a private detective named Mac Gargan, until the newspaper editor J. Jonah Jameson paid him to be part of an experiment that gave him the proportionate physical abilities of a scorpion. He essentially was given his powers just to beat up Spider-Man.

"Hold it right there, Arachnid-Boy." Polanski growled, pointing his gun at the genetically-altered ex-detective. "That's right, happy. I know the difference between an arachnid and an insect. And I also know that you have the right to remain silent."

"No offense Polanski, but maybe you're a little out of your league." A familiar voice chuckled. The three turned around.

"Hey what-! OOF!" A black blur zipped up to the green-clad criminal and nailed him right across the mouth with a hard punch, causing him to fly into the Trapster.

"Get offa me!" Trapster snapped, shoving the Scorpion off him.

"Sorry about that, ladies." Razor smirked as he hovered towards the four villains. "But you lot have been causing a little trouble at one of the places I love. So, the Kid of Roc kis forced to whup your asses."

"Grrrrr…" Salamandra snarled as she changed back into her human form. "The loudmouth!"

"Don't forget me!" Alex grinned as he jumped over the police car's hood. "The Wonderous Windspeed!"

"And me, the Terrific Thunderwing!" Wendy grinned as she flew up to the scene.

"And they say _we're_ corny." Trapster rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but they're kids. They got an excuse." Scorpion rolled his eyes. "And besides, you guys _are_ corny."

"Coming from a clown like you? That's a laugh!" Trapster snorted. "You can't even kick the butt of a punk in red-and-blue Spider-Jammies!"

"Hey! Don't call me names, man!" Scorpion snapped at Trapster. "How'd you like me to show you how well I can kick ass, you retard?"

"Hey, knock it off!" The Wizard snapped.

"Oh ho, bring it on, bug boy." Trapster tensed for a fight, ignoring the Wizard.

"Hey, we might not have to do anything after all here." Razor grinned.

"Ho brother." Polanski groaned.

"I'm gonna have more fun than I did nailing Salamandra at Daytona Beach a week ago!" Trapster snapped. Salamandra and Wizard's jaws dropped.

"You did WHAT?" Wizard screamed.

"Trapster! Salamandra told you to keep quiet about that!" Salamandra hissed.

"What's going on here?" Razor blinked.

"Hey Jerry, you hearing this?" One cop snickered to another, elbowing him.

"Yeah, Joe." The other cop snickered. "This is one of the reasons why I love being a Cleveland cop. It's never dull."

"You slept with the Trapster?" The Wizard yelled at Salamandra.

"Hello!" Razor's jaw dropped.

"Hi-O!" Alex and Wendy whooped.

"Salamandra was drunk!" Salamander held up her hands. "Salamandra was blitzed!"

"Ah, you're just saying that because you don't wanna admit you loved it!" Trapster cracked. "Even though we both were very drunk."

"WHY YOU DIRTY-!" The Wizard lunged at the Trapster, and they started brawling.

"Oh, God!" Scorpion groaned, trying to separate them. "Hey, you idiots! We're trying to hold the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame for ransom here!"

"JER-RY! JER-RY! JER-RY!" The cops started chanting.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Polanski moaned.

**_Next: A Tribute to Jerry Springer, Part 2_** _Kid Razor must add on another item to his rockin' resume: Talk Show Host. 'Nuff Said._

**(1) – See "Uncanny Avengers" by the Uncanny R-Man.**


	65. A Tribute to Jerry Springer, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

Disclaimer: "Come with me if you want to live." – Arnold Schwarzenegger as the T-800, _Terminator 2_

--

**_Local Hero Facts _**– _Sonic Blue and his rogues' gallery were all inspired by the DC Comics superhero the Flash, particularly Barry Allen, the Silver Age Flash, and his rogues._

**--**

_**Chapter 65: A Tribute To Jerry Springer, Part 2**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"This is not my day…This is not my day…" Sergeant Harold Polanski moaned, banging his head on the hood of his car.

"It never does seem to be your day, does it?" Sergeant Amanda Briscoe chuckled, sitting on the hood of the squad car, eating some popcorn. "It'd probably be more to likely to be your day if you lightened up. Want some?" She held out her bag of popcorn towards Polanski. The veteran cop blinked at it.

"…Where'd you get that?" Polanski blinked. Briscoe shrugged.

"Over there." The woman pointed to a snack cart that had pulled up nearby. A couple cops could be seen there buying snacks.

"Oh for the love of…" Polanski groaned. "What is that snack cart doing here?"

"Cops get hungry too, my friend." Briscoe told her partner sagely. "Besides, it's good. And cheap." Briscoe was watching the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers battle the Frightful Four…well, not really. During an argument, the Trapster revealed that he and Salamandra had a night of drunken passion, and the Wizard, who was Salamandra's ex-husband was none too happy.

"Huh." Scorpion sighed. "I never thought I'd get involved in some Jerry Springer-type crap like this."

"Meh, what can I say?" Alex shrugged, leaning against a police railing. "Supervillains have drama, too."

"Yeah." Wendy agreed. "Razor told me about this time he had to break up a drunken brawl between the Rhino and Tusk."

"Hey, look at that." Alex chuckled, pointing at Razor. "Leave it to Kid Razor to play talk show host."

"Ah, well." Scorpion sighed. "At least I'll be entertained. But what I don't get is why Wiz didn't zap Trapster silly with one of those gadgets he always has."

"Dude, the guy nailed a chick he liked. In that situation, I think he felt that it would've been better for him to provide the Trapster with a pounding from his bare hands." Alex explained.

"Heh, who would've known that the Wizard had such a great left jab?" Wendy chuckled. "Oh shush, you guys! Razor's back on!"

"Okay, okay…" Kid Razor sighed. He was carrying an index card with his name scrawled on it, and he was holding a piece of lead pipe like it was a microphone. The cops in the background sat in and on their cars, enjoying the show.

"Only in Cleveland…" Polanski groaned.

"Okay, this is a crazy situation right here." Razor explained the circumstances to his audience. "Here, we have three members of the Frightful Four, one of a number of supervillain teams running around this great country of ours."

"U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!" The cops chanted.

"Okay, now here is the deal." Razor continued on. "We got the Wizard…"

"The _Wingless_ Wizard, thank you very much." The Wizard corrected.

"Oh, God! Even Salamandra thinks that's corny." Salamandra groaned.

"You said you liked it once." Wizard groaned.

"Salamandra was drunk when Salamandra said that, dummy." The Latina woman crossed her arms.

"Yeah, evidently Salamandra is one of those people who can't have just one sip of wine." Trapster snickered.

"Hey, Salamandra never made fun of your comic book collection!" Salamandra snapped at the adhesive-using villain.

"Alright, let's get back on topic, here." Razor sighed. "Now Wizard-"

"_Wingless_ Wizard!" Wizard snapped. 

"For the love of God, let him finish!" Scorpion groaned. "Otherwise, we'll never get to get outta here! And I don't want to miss the Russ Meyer movie marathon over at the Multi-Plex!"

"Oh, I can guess why you'd want to see that guy's films." Wendy rolled her eyes. "Pig."

"What?" Scorpion blinked. "I'm an adult man! I can see a movie fulla big-boobied women if I want to! Not like this superhero/supervillain stuff has a shortage of 'em, either!"

"Can't argue with logic like that, Wendy." Alex admitted. Wendy sighed.

"I'm surrounded by perverts." The dark-haired girl groaned.

"Okay, let me get this straight." Razor rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Wizard, you and Salamandra have been recently going to counseling because the two of you have been considering reconciling."

"This is so wrong." Scorpion shook his head.

"I think this is funny." Alex grinned.

"Yeah, that's right." Wizard crossed his arms.

"And now you just found out that well…Salamandra and Trapster had a one-night stand." Razor waved at the other two members of the Frightful Four.

"Jerry, I mean Razor, we were both drunk!" Trapster exclaimed in his own defense. "It meant nothing!"

"He's right!" Salamandra agreed.

"You're my best friend, man!" Wizard exclaimed. "We've fought the Fantastic Four God knows how many times together! We've been up and down the supervillain road lots of times, Pete!"

"Hey man, I know that!" Trapster remembered. "But we all know why you had issues with the Fantastic Four!"

"Because you were jealous of Reed Richards' technology, and you wanted it for yourself." Salamandra added.

"At least I didn't jump on top of the Invisible Woman!" Wizard snapped.

"What're you insinuating?" Trapster scowled.

"I'm insinuating that you're a cheap woman-stealer!" Wizard snapped.

"Oh, here we go…" Scorpion sighed.

"TAKE THAT BACK, YOU SONOFA-!" Trapster leapt at the Wizard, and they started brawling again, much to the cops' delight. Wendy, Alex, and the Scorpion moved to separate them.

"RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR!"

"Hey, Salamandra screwed up, Wizard! It was nothing to Salamandra!" The Latina woman tried to defend herself.

"Oh, shut up!" Wizard snapped. "I am being humiliated in front of the entire Cleveland PD thanks to you and the Trapster, you scaly skank!"

"DON'T CALL SALAMANDRA A SKANK!" Salamandra screamed. She leapt on her pink-armored ex-husband and started pounding on him, making the cops cheer.

"RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR! RA-ZOR!" The cops chanted as Wendy, Alex, and Scorpion separated them.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Polanski groaned.

"Oh lighten up!" Briscoe laughed. "This is funny!"

"Man, I thought they were reconciling!" Wendy winced as she finally managed to pull back the cursing Salamandra.

"They were?" Trapster blinked. "Wiz, you and Salamandra were reconciling?"

"No, not in the near future, why?" Wizard blinked. "Who said that?"

"I dunno." Trapster shrugged.

"Can we get back on topic?" Razor groaned.

"Oh, right." Trapster remembered. "Anyway Wiz, you were off plotting as usual, man. All you do nowadays is go on about Reed Richards and his technology. Me and Sally here were bored!"

"How'd you two end up doing the wild thing?" Razor asked.

"It was in the hotel room, right? The one where we were planning out this thing last week?" Scorpion blinked. "I heard drunken giggling from Salamandra's room."

"WHAT?" Wizard screamed. "And you didn't bother to investigate?"

"I didn't think it was my business!" Scorpion exclaimed in his own defense. "I thought Salamandra was watching a movie!"

"You retard!" Wizard snapped.

"Hey, don't call me names, man! I didn't want to get involved in some Love Triangle of Evil crap!" Scorpion snapped back.

"Can we get back on track here?" Razor groaned. "These people make so sense at all." Salamandra sighed.

"Wizard, you've just become more and more obsessed with causing mayhem and trying to get Reed Richards' technology. Salamandra just want to spend a nice quiet day on the beach, drinking margaritas on occasion."

"Yeah, man! I was planning to get a patent done on this adhesive I invented." Trapster sighed.

"Wait, what does that have to do with nailing the dragon chick?" A puzzled Razor blinked.

"We grew bored. All the Wizard cared about was if we wanted to cause trouble!" Trapster sighed.

"We're supervillains, you morons!" The Wizard screamed. "We cause destruction and mayhem and take stuff that belongs to other people! That's what we do! We're the Frightful for God's sake! The heroes are the ones who get drunk and screw each other!"

"I wouldn't mind engaging in drunken relations with the She-Hulk." A smart-alec cop joked, making the other cops snicker.

"Good luck, pal!" Razor laughed. "That girl's immune to alcohol." He then shook his head. "Okay, it's obvious you idiots make no sense. Let's go to the audience for questions."

"Watch your mouth!" Wizard snapped.

"Uh, this makes no sense at all. None of these people make sense at all." A cop told Razor.

"You suck! You suck! You suck! You suck!" The sudience chanted at the cop.

"Tell me about it. Anyone else got any questions?" Razor sighed. He went over to another cop, a large African-American woman. "Okay darling, speak your mind."

"Yeah, this is to Salamandra, whadda madda girl? You nothin' but a drunken ho who can't say the word I!" She laughed. Salamandra cursed at her and shot the woman a rude gesture.

"Isn't that illegal?" Briscoe blinked.

"I don't care anymore…" Polanski moaned, banging his head on the hood of his squad car.

"Hey to the Trapster, what the hey, man?" A second cop grinned. "Don't you know the number one rule in the Book of Tao for Guys is to never sleep with your best friend's girl?"

"Hey, man!" Trapster groaned. "Sally isn't Wiz's girl anymore! Besides, it was one night, and we both were drunk out of our minds."

"You're dead!" Wizard leapt at Trapster, intent on beating him silly, but he got held back again by Wendy, Alex, and the Scorpion, which made the cops cheer again.

"Uh yeah, to the Wizard…" A cop talked into Razor's 'microphone'. "With that outfit, to be honest with you…I didn't even know you were even into women!"

"Lookit you, pansy!" Wizard snapped at the officer. "You look like the type to dance around in a disco!"

"Come and get you some, man!" The officer challenged, waving his arms in a challenging manner. "Come on!" The Wizard leapt at the officer, but he got held back again by Scorpion, Alex, and Wendy.

"And here's my final thought: The Frightful Four are a bunch of nuts who make no sense whatsoever!" Razor chuckled.

**_Next: Interview with a Rock Legend_** _Joan Frehley sits down with our rock 'n' roll hero!_


	66. Interview With a Rock Legend

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "I love you guys." – Eric Cartman, _South_ _Park_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts_** – _Kid Razor once ran out into the middle of the field during a Cleveland Indians game and punched out the umpire for ruling the Indians' star batter with an out. He was carted away by security singing the chorus to the theme of "The Drew Carey Show". It's considered a hilarious moment in baseball._

--

**_Chapter 66: Interview with a Rock Legend_**

Ridgemont High School

Joan Frehley sighed as she closed the door to her locker.

"Man, I can't believe I got assigned to interview Kid Razor _again_." She groaned. "Am I the only person on Earth who interviews this jerk?"

"Having one heck of a day, I see." A familiar voice told her. Joan turned and smiled as she saw her boyfriend Robert Parkins, secretly the teenage super-rocker known as Kid Razor. Joan smiled.

"It just got better." She smiled and kissed his cheek. "How you doing, babe?"

"Meh." Bobby shrugged. "I've been doing alright. How about you?"

"Ugh. I was doing well, until the teacher told me I had to interview Kid Razor again." Joan sighed. "I can't believe I have to be in the same room as that jerk again."

"I don't really think he means it, Joan." Bobby chuckled. "You know how he is. I have to carry mace with me whenever I interview him in case he tries to get fresh with me."

_Good to know._ Bobby thought. "Well, I'm sure Razor doesn't mean any harm. He is a superhero after all."

"Just because he's a superhero, doesn't mean he can't also be a gigantic jackass." Joan told Bobby sagely. "Take Hawkeye."

"Yeah, but Hawkeye's shown himself to be a leader over the years, Joan." Bobby countered. "He led the original West Coast Avengers back in the day, and now he's back leading them again."

"Alright, alright." Joan shook her head with a smile. "Whatever. What're you planning to do after school?"

"Well, I don't have to work, so I'll be around." Bobby shrugged. "I hope your interview with Razor goes well."

"Thanks." Joan smiled. "I'll have to remember to wear pants. Last time I interviewed Razor in a skirt, he wouldn't stop leering and talking about my legs."

"Well, to be honest, I don't blame him, eh heh heh heh…" Bobby laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head and blushing.

"Oh, you…" Joan playfully hit Bobby in the shoulder.

"What?" Bobby grinned, holding his arm.

**Some time later, the skies over Cleveland**

"_And the man in the back said 'Everyone Attack', and it turned into a Ballroom Blitz!_" Kid Razor sang happily as he did a loop-de-loop over a skyscraper. "Whoo!"

"You're in a good mood." Ronnie Rocker grinned as he appeared next to Razor.

"Yeah, I am, I…" Razor noticed Ronnie. "Ronnie, where the hell have you been, man?"

"Keeping tabs on a certain former immortal." Ronnie answered. Razor nodded in understanding.

"Oh yeah." Razor scowled. "How is the old witch?"

"Well, nothing up with her, really." Ronnie sighed. "What have you been doing?"

"Eh, just the usual." Razor shrugged. "Kickin' ass, rockin' hard, that kinda deal. I'm heading for an interview."

"Really?" Ronnie smirked. "And I bet the interview is with a certain Miss Frehley."

"Oh yeah." Razor grinned. "She got great legs, you know that?"

"I know." Ronnie shook his head. "You wouldn't shut up about them last time she did an interview with you."

"Yeah, but she loved it." Razor chuckled.

"Yeah, she loved it, alright." Ronnie chuckled. "She also liked the part where she maced you." Razor grumbled and rubbed his eyes.

"Don't remind the Kid of Rock." Razor grunted. "It took three days to get it out."

"And to think that you would be used to getting shot down by now." Ronnie snickered.

"Aw, shut up, Ronnie." Razor grumbled, only making Ronnie laugh more.

"You know, the X-Women got those presents from you for their kids." Ronnie told Razor.

"Oh, how'd they like 'em?" Razor grinned.

"Rahne thought you could do better than dog biscuits." Ronnie told Razor. The Ultimate Rockstar shrugged.

"Well Ronnie, I did think about giving them rawhide bones, but I thought that'd be cliché." Razor explained. "Besides, Torchie was planning to give those, anyway." He grinned. "Oh look. Joanie!" Razor flew down towards a window of Ridgemont High, where he saw Joanie wave out at him. "Yup, you still can't resist me."

"Finally, I get your attention, blockhead." Joan sighed.

"You coulda just brought a little Mardi Gras here, if you know what I mean." A hovering Razor smirked. Joan glared at the Ultimate Rockstar.

"I outghta grab one of the cameras and shove it down your throat." Joan grumbled. "But unfortunately, I have to interview your butt. Again."

"Ah, you love it." Razor teased as he flew in. Joan led him to the set of Ridgemont High's news interview show. The set was very simplistic, really. It was just a couple of comfy chairs and a wooden desk. "Rather primitive, don't you think?" Razor teased. Joan scowled.

"I'm not Jay Leno. Give me a break." Joan sighed.

"Never said you were, babe." A smirking Razor lowered his sunglasses, revealing his playful green eyes. "Besides, you're too damn gorgeous to be Jay Leno."

"Urk!" Joan flipped her brown hair. Razor laughed.

"Man, some chicks can't take a compliment." Razor chuckled. He noticed that the set had a bit of a space theme. "Hmm, gal likes space travel."

"Actually, the set designer decided he was in the mood to be a smart-alec." Joan sighed. "Because I happen to share the same name with a certain legendary guitarist, he thought it'd be cute to give my show a space theme."

"I don't blame him." Razor shrugged. "You always were willing to reach for the stars where your career was involved."

"Ugh!"

**Some time later**

"Hello, students." Joan greeted warmly from her seat behind the desk. "Welcome to Frehley's Space Spot." Joan forced a smile as she said the show's name. _Billy Jenkins, you are a dead man. You won't be alive to see next week when I am done with you!_ "With me today is one of my most well-known guests, Kid Razor."

"Thank you, thank you…" Razor grinned, bowing.

_Ham._ Joan sighed. "Anyway, I'm sure all our viewers would love to know what you've been up to lately."

"Oh, just the usual stuff, my dear Joanie." Razor chuckled, smirking at the pretty teenage girl. "You know, kicking ass, taking names, rocking hard, showing those clowns in New York how it's done."

"Speaking of other heroes, the West Coast Avenger known as Tigra took one of your remarks rather badly. You once said that she 'shags like a minx'." Joan reminded.

"Hey, it's true. Just ask that Mayhem guy she's knockin' boots with." Razor chuckled. "Anyway, got anything else to ask? I got some great jokes about Captain America's age if you wanna hear them."

"We don't want to get sued." Joan told Razor. "The Avengers do have a laywer on the team, you know."

"Yeah, and she shags like a minx, too." Razor snickered. Joan sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, it's been a while since we've heard from you in the studio. Your last album, _Slasher_ _Overdrive_, another critical and commercial success, was released about a year ago. Have you been working on your next album?"

"But of course, my dear Joanie." Razor chuckled. "Doing the superhero thing is a great source of inspiration. You won't believe some of the awesome songs I got."

"I'm sure they'll be great." Joan told the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.

"Oh, they will be, Joanie." Razor grinned. "They _will_ be. Because I sung 'em, heh heh." A hovering Ronnie Rocker was watching the interview. He smiled and waved at Joan. The brunette girl shot Ronnie a quick glance, acknowledging him. "Anyway, babe, what else ya wanna know?"

**_Next: The Interview Continues_** _As Kid Razor continues on with his interview, Seattle's high-flying hero, Winger, gets himself into a brawl with the Hellions!_


	67. The Interview Continues!

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Mmmm, forbidden donut…" – Homer Simpson, _The Simpsons_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts _**– _Kid Razor's guitar doesn't need an amplifier to be played because of its mystical nature._

--

**_Chapter 67: The Interview Continues!_**

Ridgemont High School, Cleveland, Ohio

Joan Frehley mentally sighed. She was engaged in another interview with Cleveland's Favorite Son, Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor.

"Okay, Razor." Joan nodded. "So, what do you think of the British super-team Excalibur reforming? You were a member in the past, and it seems that you never were invited to rejoin. What is your opinion on that?" Razor frowned in thought.

"Well, to be honest, babe…" Razor shrugged. "The Kid of Rock never really did much during his time. The roster wasn't very stable, and all we ever really did was brawl with Dormammu and a crazed lady Captain Britain."

"So, it was a very awkward time." Joan deduced.

"The Kid of Rock wouldn't say awkward, babe." Razor shrugged. "I guess it wasn't meant to last. Ghost Rider was with us once, then up and vanished. So was Doc Strange. I think they sensed it coming before the rest of us did. It wasn't really arguments or anything. We just drifted apart, because we preferred our own lives. Not to mention the Kid of Rock has a city to worry about. So did Sonic Blue."

"What do you think of the current roster, then?" Joan inquired.

"Who's on the current roster?" Razor blinked. "Those guys change rosters more than the Avengers do. But then again, these days, anyone who hangs around the Mansion for five damned minutes is automatically an Avenger!"

"Razor…" Joan sighed.

"I mean, look who they got now! They got Spider-Man! _Spider-Man!_ The arachnid-obsessed geek in red-and-blue pajamas! Come on!" Razor ranted.

"Razor…" Joan repeated.

"And then there's the Black Cat. You know, the former cat burglar with the platinum blonde hair who wears the tight black catsuit with the white fur lining that always provides a great view of her fantastic rack…" Razor trailed off as his mind went into a daydream, with his mouth left open. Joan sighed.

"_Razor_…" She repeated again with a more forceful voice. Razor quickly shook his head.

"Oh, right. Where was the Kid of Rock? Oh yeah! The Black Cat and her rack! I wonder if she's ever gotten any calls from Hugh Hefner…"

"Razor!" Joan snapped.

"Alright, alright." Razor sighed. "Spoil my fun. And now they have Squirrel Girl." Razor quickly turned to the camera. "That's right, folks! Squirrel Girl, the girl with buck teeth, a bushy tail, and the nut sacks, is officially one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes!" Razor laughed. "Oh man, they have been batting a thousand lately."

"They say Squirrel Girl once beat Doctor Doom." Joan reminded the Ultimate Rockstar.

"Oh yeah, the Kid of Rock heard about that." Razor remembered with a grin. "Yeah, ol' Tony must've relapsed on that day, heh heh!" He turned to the camera again. "Ain't that right, Starkie? You did a little bit of the 'glug-glug' that day when you shouldn't have?"

_And the teacher wondered why I didn't want to do an interview with Razor **here.**_ Joan mentally grumbled. "Let's change the subject before we get sued, please?"

"Can we talk about Black Cat's rack again?" Razor grinned hopefully. Joan shot the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll a deadpan look.

"No, we cannot talk about Black Cat's rack again, Razor." Joan shut Razor down in a deadpan voice. "As I said, we don't want to get sued."

"As if the Avengers are watching a stupid high school interview show." Razor muttered under his breath, crossing his arms.

"Anyway, the current roster consists of Captain Britain…" Joan started.

"Which one?" Razor asked. "There's two of 'em running around."

"The guy." Joan answered.

"Oh, the one that actually _works_ in England. Okay." Razor nodded in understanding. "Meh. Got no thought one way or the other."

"Meggan…" Joan continued.

"Hot." Razor grinned. Joan rolled her eyes.

_Figures he'd say that._ She mentally grumbled. "…Amora, the Asgardian Enchantress…"

"Oh, you should talk to my buddy Sonic Blue." Razor smirked. "He and Amora have history, heh heh."

"I'm not a gossipmonger, Razor." Joan glared.

"Just sayin'." Razor shrugged.

"The team also has mutant detective Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, and the Morlock known as Marrow." Joan continued.

"Heh heh, a chick with bone powers who enjoys getting boned by a clone-maker." Razor snickered.

"_Must_ you make everything a joke?" Joan groaned.

"Oh yes." Razor smirked. "Life is boring without jokes."

"And Guido Carosella, aka Strong Guy, and Forge." Joan finished. "I believe that's the whole team."

"I believe Strong Guy owes the Kid of Rock some money." Razor snickered. "He and I made a bet on the Blue Jays-Indians game last week. He owes me 20 bucks. And as for Forge…well, the Kid of Rock don't really know Forge, to be honest. I thought he was an urban myth."

"Ugh…" Joan groaned. "Wait…Strong Guy lives in England! How…"

"Internet." Razor smirked. "All you need to know. The Braddocks do have an e-mail address."

"Okay…" Joan blinked. "So, what do you think of the roster?"

"Seems stable to me." Razor shrugged. "Hope they last a good long time. Lord knows that team needs stability."

"Indeed." Joan nodded.

**Seattle, Washington**

Jeffrey Dutt, the high-flying armored teenage hero called Winger, flew across the Seattle skies. The sky was clear, and the sun was shining. A sunny day was relatively rare in Seattle, considering the city's rainy climate. As such, Winger was enjoying it.

"Ah…" He smiled. "Man, you just don't get days like this in Seattle much. Bright sun, clear sky, not a falling drop of water in sight." Even if it was raining, Winger still patrolled the city. His costume/armor was able to handle rough weather. A rainstorm couldn't down the King of the Skies. "Wheee!" He pulled up and did a set of loop-de-loops. "Ha ha! Oh yeah! Whoooooo!"

"_All units, all units…_" The armor's sensors picked up a broadcast from the police band. "_Disturbance in progress down at 5th and Main._ _Suspects are described as a large male of possible Native American descent, a blonde female, and a female of African-American descent dressed in strange armor. The other two are clad in brightly-colored costumes. Special precautions must be taken. It is believed that the suspects are empowered or possibly mutant in nature._"

"Evil mutants. And no X-Men in sight." Winger sighed. "Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic." The young hero veered from his intended course. "Can't take a flight on a sunny day without some idiot causing a disturbance. I was hoping to scope out some chicks." Meanwhile, down at a mall on 5th and Main, three members of the Hellions were causing trouble.

"Oh, yes. Now this is more my style." Jennifer Stavros, the blonde bombshell probability manipulator known as Roulette smiled as she struck a pose in front of a full body mirror. She was clad in a slinky black dress that didn't hide her amazing curves. She was in a clothing store…which happened to be wrecked. Her uniform was hanging on the mirror. Turns out she was having some fun of her own.

"_Whoo_ yeah!" James Proudstar, the powerhouse Apache mutant called Warpath, whooped happily as he pitched a bench through the window of a sports store. "Hey, cool! They got that Cardinals shirt I wanted!"

"This is pointless." Aliyah Bishop grunted. The armor-wearing human-Shi'Ar hybrid grunted as she stood around, scowling at the wrecked mall. "This is truly pointless. No one here to test our mettle against, and Feral is still recovering from- AAH!" A pair of blue lasers hit the ground behind her, causing her to turn around. She looked up and saw a hovering Winger.

"Well, well, well." The young hero smirked, crossing his arms. "Lookit what we have here." Roulette peeked out from the store.

"Ah, dammit." She grumbled. The blonde stomped over to the mirror and grabbed her hanging uniform. "Stupid heroes, always spoiling my fun." Roulette grumbled and cursed as she stomped into a dressing room to change. "Hopefully, Warpath and Bishop will give him some pain for his trouble."

**_Next: Seattle Smackdown_** _Winger vs. The Hellions!_


	68. Seattle Smackdown, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Hoo-rah!" – Mike "The Miz" Mizanin**

--

**_Local Hero Facts_** – _Like She-Hulk and Deadpool, Kid Razor has broken the fourth wall on occasion. However, unlike the Merc-With-A-Mouth and the Emerald Amazon, Razor is completely unaware he's doing it!_

--

**_Chapter 68: Seattle Smackdown, Part 1!_**

**Cleveland, Ohio**

A whistling Kid Razor flew happily through the skies of his home city of Cleveland, a frowning Ronnie Rocker flying behind him.

"Well, the Kid of Rock thinks that interview went well." Razor chuckled.

"Razor…you gabbed about the Black Cat's chest." Ronnie sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Oh, come on, Ronnie!" Razor rolled his eyes. "You've seen the Black Cat! You think the same thing I said back there when you do!"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't yak about it on TV." Ronnie shook his head. "Especially since she's got a boyfriend made of ionic particles that can pound me into next year."

"Williams?" Razor frowned. "The Kid of Rock don't fear any Hollywood creampuff. Especially _that_ Hollywood creampuff!"

"Razor, that 'creampuff' is a former stuntman who happens to be invulnerable." Ronnie reminded. "And he ain't a half-bad actor, either."

"Yeah, he was pretty good in his last movie." Razor chuckled. "Although everything else about it was a real stinker."

"Uh-huh." Ronnie agreed. "I heard rumors that ol' Wonder Man himself called for a couple rewrites to the plot."

"Spence and Wondy told me about 'em." Razor nodded. "The director was a bonehead. The Kid of Rock imagined the movie with Simon's ideas, and guess what?"

"What?" Ronnie asked.

"The movie suddenly…did not suck!" Razor exclaimed. "Wonder Man's ideas would've made the movie not suck if they were used."

"Ahhh, what could've been." Ronnie shook his head.

"Oh, yeah." Razor chuckled. "What could've been indeed."

"Uh-huh." Ronnie agreed.

"Man, the Kid of Rock is bored." Razor sighed. "Not many bad guys to beat up…Hey, how about we give ol' Winger a visit?"

"I guess so." Ronnie shrugged. "It's been a while since we've seen him again. I wonder what he's up to?"

**Seattle, Washington**

"I have heard of you." Aliyah Bishop frowned at the flying young armored hero known as Winger. "You are Winger, the protector of Seattle. The so-called 'King of the Skies'."

"That's right, babe." Winger smirked, crossing his arms. "And the King has just found some upstarts in his kingdom."

"I think it is about time that you got dethroned, Your Majesty!" Warpath scowled, pulling out a pair of mean-looking daggers from a pair of scabbards on his back.

"Nice knives, pal." Winger scoffed. "What ya gonna do with those? Cut me up a couple slices of pizza?"

"No, I'm gonna carve me some Christmas Winger!" Warpath snarled, taking to the air.

"The hell-!" Winger immediately pulled up, barely dodging the Native American mutant's attempt to stab him in midair. "Oh, I ain't the only flier in here."

"Indeed." Aliyah smirked, her armor's wings folding out. Winger quickly glanced at her, the scanners in his goggles giving him information via the goggles' heads-up display.

_Scan complete. Armor is not of terrestrial origin._ The heads-up display told the teenage hero.

"Armor from another planet?" Winger blinked. "Who is this chick YEOW!" The young hero found himself dodging energy blasts from Aliyah's armored fists.

"Seattle's skies could use a new Queen." Aliyah smirked as she took to the air.

"Bring it, lady! I welcome a challenge to my reign!" Winger made a 'bring it on' gesture with his hands. Aliyah charged him, but Winger saw it coming, and deftly flew to the side.

"YAHHHHH!" A voice yelled. Winger quickly turned and saw a flying Warpath dive towards him, his large daggers ready to cut the heroic teenager open like a frog in a dissection tray.

"Aw man, that guy must think I'm a Peking duck or something!" Winger groaned.

"Razzum frazzum local heroes…" The blonde bombshell Hellion codenamed Roulette grumbled as she zipped up the front of her uniform. She then started to fix her hair. She heard an energy blast. "I hope Bishop and Warpath took that little metal-winged punk's head off." She marched outside and saw Warpath get blasted to the ground by blue laser beams. "Aw, no…"

"Aw yeah!" Winger crowed, punching the air. "Who da man? Who is da man NYEARGH!" A knife flew by the King of the Skies, wrecking his arm blaster. "AGH!" He put his arm down and looked at his wrecked blaster. "Ah dammit…"

_Left arm blaster has suffered high damage._ Winger's goggles-mounted HUD display told the heroic flyer. _Recommend repairs as soon as possible._

"Oh, no duh!" Winger grumbled. "Thank you, Captain Obvious! Like I couldn't tell my blaster needs fixing right now!"

"I suggest you stop talking to yourself and watch your surroundings." Aliyah snarled as she flew behind Winger, ready to blast him wide open with a couple energy beams.

"I wasn't born yesterday, ya hag!" Winger snapped. A blue aura appeared around Winger's body and wings. It was his forcefield. The forcefield managed to protect the Winged Warrior from Aliyah's energy blast. "Nice try, ya old bag!"

"YAH!" Warpath took his shot. He nailed Winger across the jaw with a super-strong punch. "Agh! Stupid forcefield! It shocked me!"

"WAHHH!" The Indian-African-American hero was sent flying towards a wall. He turned his body, noticing that he was about to hit a wall, face-first. "Aw, hell naw! No way! Forcefield or no, I ain't gonna be no wall splatter!" He jerked himself upwards and fired up his winged jetpack's jets. The combined momentum caused him to fly towards the ceiling at incredible speed, but Winger's nerves of steel and flight instincts allowed him to recover. "Ha!" Suddenly, a pair of black balls of energy hit Winger's, well, wings. "Hey, what? My wings! They're locked in place! I can't move…yiiiiii!" The young hero found himself falling to the ground, unable to fire his jetpack or flap his wings. He hit the ground hard, but his armor managed to protect him from getting hurt. "Ugh, what're the odds?"

"Mmm, what're the odds indeed, handsome?" A feminine voice purred. Winger looked and found himself staring up at Roulette.

"Hey…" Winger grinned. "Are you the stripper they hired for my birthday? A little early, but I don't mind."

"Hmph." Roulette smirked, bouncing a black ball of energy in her hand. "I see you still can talk."

"Who are you?" Winger frowned, getting to his feet.

"Well, I suppose a handsome young man like you deserves an introduction." Roulette put her hand on her hip. "The name's Roulette, sweet cheeks. I see you are familiar with my associates, Aliyah Bishop and Warpath."

"Man, we really need to give you a codename, Bishop." Warpath snickered at the young half-human half-Shi'Ar woman. She glared at the Native American powerhouse.

"If you were not my teammate, I would've killed you where you stood right now." Aliyah threatened.

"Whoa, easy there, lady!" Warpath held up his hands. "And here I was, thinking your old man was humorless. At least he knew a light-hearted joke when he heard one."

"I heard of Warpath." Winger grunted. "I thought the guy was dead. And he was a good guy when he was killed."

"True, but…he went through some changes." Roulette smirked. Winger scowled and started to move to attack. "Uh uh uh!" She waved her finger at the younger hero. "I can manipulate luck with my disks, handsome. Red ones are for good, black for bad. I used a black disk to cause your wings to lock up."

"I don't need my wings to whup you and your friends' asses." Winger scowled.

"Now now, baby. I'm sure you wouldn't want to know what happens if I hit you in your pretty face with a black disk." Roulette smirked. "After all, what're the odds of your skull suddenly caving in? Or your head suddenly exploding?"

"You're a sick broad, lady!" Winger scowled. "The hell are you doing here in Seattle?"

"Well, I was just hoping to have a little fun. You know, carnage, mayhem, and the like. Shame you had to spoil my fun." Roulette smirked. "Warpath…Aliyah…"

"Huh?" Winger blinked. Before he knew it, he found himself being held down by Warpath and Aliyah. "Hey! Let go of me! Hasn't anybody learned anything?" Roulette aimed her black disc at Winger.

"So long, sweetie." She smirked and prepared to throw it. However, a beam of rainbow-colored energy flew out of nowhere and slammed Roulette in the side, knocking her through a window.

"What?" Aliyah turned her head and saw the source. "Who is-?"

"Aw, God…" Warpath groaned.

"Hey there, Wingman." Kid Razor smirked. "I figured I'd come and even the odds a little bit."

**_Next: Seattle Smackdown, Part 2_** _Kid Razor and Winger vs. The Hellions. 'Nuff said!_


	69. Seattle Smackdown, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You damn dirty ape!"**

--

**_Local Hero Facts_** – _Sonic Blue can run faster than the speed of sound. He has done it on a couple of occasions, but he generally very rarely does it, because of not only the toll it can take on his armor, but also it makes his sound-based weaponry useless._

--

_**Chapter 69: Seattle Smackdown, Part 2**_

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

A high-pitched whine was heard as a blue streak zipped through the streets of one of Ohio's most famous cities, deftly avoiding the vehicles. Passers-by looked on in shock and amazement.

"What was that?" One guy gaped.

"What're you, a tourist?" A second guy scoffed, crossing his arms.

"As a matter of fact, I am." The first guy held up his camera. "I'm visiting here from Akron."

"…Oh." The first man blinked. "I see. Well, that's Sonic Blue, our superhero. Looks like some punk is out to cause trouble."

"Go Sonic Blue! Kick some ass, boy!" Another bystander whooped.

"Thank you! I will!" Spencer smiled and waved.

"We love you, Sonic Blue!" A group of high school cheerleaders squealed as Spencer raced by. They started jumping up and down, waving pom-poms.

"Eh heh heh…" The teenage hero smiled shyly and blushed. A ringing was heard. Spencer tapped the right side of his visor, where one of the blue wings adorning his visor was attached to it. The area glowed blue. "Hi mom!"

"Hello there, sweetheart." Delilah Burton smiled. She was in the kitchen, stirring some batter in a bowl. She had a cordless phone on her shoulder. "How's the patrol?"

"Ah, it's doing alright, mom." Spence smiled. "I'm almost done."

"Alright." Delilah chuckled. "Spencer honey, could you be a dear and get me some milk on the way home?" The young hero couldn't help but chuckle.

"You're kidding me, right? In full costume?" Spencer smiled mirthly.

"Even superheroes need to drink milk, dear." Delilah smiled. "Captain America's parents made him drink his milk, and look where he is now."

"And I'm sure that the Incredible Hulk's mother makes sure he gets his glass of milk before he goes on a rampage." Spencer quipped back.

"That Razor boy has given you quite a mouth, Spencer." Delilah shook her head.

"I had to develop a smart mouth to keep up with Razor, Mom. You know that." Spencer grinned. "When you hang out with him as much as I do, you tend to develop one."

"Oh, you." Delilah smiled. "Can you get the milk, sweetie?"

"Sure, just give me the amount and kind." Spencer nodded.

"I need two gallons of 2." Delilah told him.

"No prob, Mom." Spencer nodded. "Just a couple more streets to go, and I'll be-"

"_Attention all units, superhuman disturbance detected at Lower Millcrest Park. Suspect has been identified as Fred Myers, aka Boomerang. Suspect was discovered fleeing scene._" The police scanner in Spencer's visor told the young hero.

"Figures. Just when I was done for the day." Spencer sighed. "I gotta go, Mom. Boomerang is at it again."

"Be careful, dear." Delilah told him.

"I will, Mom. He's Boomerang. He's not _that_ dangerous. They just make him look like that on TV." Spencer chuckled.

**Seattle, Washington**

"Who are you?" Aliyah Bishop frowned at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. Razor smirked.

"Oh, you in trouble now…" Winger smirked. "One of the Big Guns is here."

"Kid Razor, babe." Razor smirked. "The Ultimate Rockstar. The Juke Box Hero."

"I heard of you." Warpath scoffed. "They say you have a big mouth and an even bigger ego."

"Hey, whaddaya know. The steroid freak speaks." Razor crossed his off. "Hey Frankenstein's Monster, people with actual _brains_ are talkin', 'kay? Keep it zipped." He frowned at Aliyah. "Funny…" He took off his glasses and pointed at the human-Shi'Ar hybrid. "The Kid of Rock thinks you resemble a certain X-Man I know…"

"Her last name's Bishop, man." Winger grunted.

"Ah, I see it now." Razor smirked. "With a bald head, you'd look just like your old man. How is Bishop doing? Makin' time with that living computer of his? If I were him, I would be." Aliyah snarled.

"You _dare_ me to my pathetic human father?" Aliyah snarled, releasing Winger.

"Whooo, _somebody_ has an Oedipal complex." Razor teased with a smirk. He quickly glanced at Warpath. "That's a 'Daddy Complex' to you, Steroid Sultan."

"I _know_ what an Oedipal complex is!" Warpath snapped. "I'm not a bonehead, contrary to _your_ belief!"

"No, a bonehead would be significantly smarter than you." Razor mocked.

"Oh, that's it!" Warpath released Winger and clenched his fists. "I'm gonna wipe that cocky smirk off your damn face, punk!" Razor smirked and took off his glasses.

"Pal…" Razor put his glasses in his jacket. "The Kid of Rock has faced bigger, badder, uglier…and _smarter_ foes than you."

"Alright, that's it!" Warpath flipped his daggers in his hands. "I'll carve your ass up, you loudmouthed schmuck!"

"Bring it on, ya clown!" Razor snapped.

"Razor, look out!" Winger yelled. The blond-haired super-rocker turned his head. The African-American/Indian teenager noticed something.

_Hey, my wings don't have that funky black aura on them anymore._ He commanded them to move, and the wings flapped a little. The young hero smirked. _Alright._ _They're not locked up anymore, heh heh. Now to spring a surprise…_

"Holy Van Halen!" Razor exclaimed as he dodged a black disk that was heading right for his head with a wince-inducing split.

"Ai…" Warpath winced. He turned to Winger. "How does he do that without hurting himself?"

"Superhuman reaction time and flexibility." Winger answered with a smirk. "And speaking of superhuman stuff…" Winger charged the Native American mutant, his wing folded out in front of his body like a shield.

"What the-!" Warpath turned around, and Winger whipped out his wing in a motion like a hand slapping. The metal wing hit the Native American mutant hard, knocking him into a support beam. "OOF!"

"Heh." Winger smirked. "You ain't so bad!"

"You forgot me!" Aliyah smirked as she grabbed Winger by the shoulders and sent an electrical current to him through her gauntlets.

"NYEEEARGH!" Winger screamed in pain. Meanwhile, Kid Razor was facing a royally ticked Roulette.

"Nobody blasts me through a window. You hear me? _Nobody!_" The Hellion snarled. Razor scoffed.

"Can't you come up with anything _less_ cliché, babe?" Razor yawned in boredom. "Geez! How many supervillains have said _that_ to their archnemesis? I think the Hobgoblin said that to Spider-Man last week."

"God, do you ever stop with the bad jokes?" Roulette screamed, pitching a volley of black bad luck discs. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll ducked, dodged, slid, and flipped out of the way of the discs.

"Who taught you to aim? Batroc the Leaper?" Razor taunted cockily, laughing. Roulette grumbled.

"All I wanted to do was have a little fun, and of course, your winged friend had to wreck it."

"Babe, I know Winger." The Kid of Rock chuckled. "And he's got no problems with having fun. But the Kid of Rock also know that ol' Wing has issues with people who find mayhem and destruction fun. It's not good for his hometown, so he would take offense to it." Razor chuckled. Roulette scowled.

"I've heard of your big mouth, Kid Razor." Roulette smirked. She created another black disk, and bounced it in her hand. "How many people have tried to shut it and failed?"

"The Kid of Rock lost count at around 1,576, 879." Razor quipped. The blonde bombshell smirked.

"Cute. Well, _I'm_ not going to just shut you up, you bigmouthed baboon. I'm gonna make sure that you'll never be able to find your mouth ever again." Razor burst out laughing.

"Babe, why are you _trying?_" Razor laughed. "You can't even put out a decent insult! Lady, you're never gonna be able to make a living as a trash-talker. You're best off showing off those nice knockers of yours in a magazine." Roulette's face turned red.

"YOU LITTLE PIG!" She screamed, pitching the black disc. Meanwhile, Winger was having his own troubles.

"Uhn…" Winger groaned as electricity ran up and down his armor.

"Foolish human." Aliyah smirked. "I carry the blood of Shi'Ar royalty in my veins. Did you _really_ believe a commoner like you can stand up to me?"

"That's…what…you…think…you…pompous…witch." Winger snarled as he slowly stood up.

"_What?_" Aliyah's eyes widened. Winger smirked.

"A little gadget a friend of mine put in my armor." Winger smirked. "I'm not sure exactly what it's called, but it's designed to protect me from electrical power. If I get hit with electricity, the gadget absorbs it and uses it to replenish my armor's power cells. In essence, you've been giving me a recharge, babe! Thanks a lot!" Winger let rip with his functioning arm blaster, nailing Aliyah right in the chest, knocking her through a window. "Ha!" Aliyah growled as she got to her feet.

"You will _pay_ for that effrontery, King of the Skies!" Aliyah snarled, her armored fists glowing. Winger only smirked and got into a fighting stance.

"Bring it on, you pompous windbag." Winger challenged.

**_Next: Seattle Smackdown, Part 3_** _Kid Razor and Winger's brawl with the Hellions continues, and Sonic Blue battles Boomerang._


	70. Seattle Smackdown, Part 3

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "It'll be just like the Swiss Family Robinson, only with more cursing…We're gonna live like kings! Damn Hell-ass kings!" – Bart Simpson, _The_ _Simpsons_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts –_** _Wolverine and Colossus's Fastball Special is not the only superhero tag-team move. Kid Razor and the She-Hulk have a tag move called the Gamma Javelin. It's similar to the Fastball Special, only Razor fires his Bon Jovi Booster at the exact same time She-Hulk pitches him. And Razor can home in on targets._

--

_**Chapter 70: Seattle Smackdown, Part 3**_

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

"Alright, duckie…" Fred Myers, the Australian mercenary known as Boomerang, smirked to himself as he used an explosive boomerang to blow his way into a bank nearby Lower Millcrest Park. "Easy as pie. Just go in, get the diamond, and get out."

"Too bad I like to complicate matters, huh Boomer?" A familiar voice smirked. Boomerang's eyes widened. The blue-and-purple-costumed mercenary turned around and saw Sonic Blue leaning on a lamppost, arms crossed, smirking.

"YOU!" Boomerang snarled.

"Hi, Fred." Spencer waved. "How are you doing?" He looked up at the sky. "It is a beautiful day. It'll be a shame you'll be looking out at it through barred windows."

"I ain't goin' back to jail, you bloody little blue-armored punk!" Boomerang snarled angrily, whipping out a boomerang.

"Come on, Boomerang." Spencer sighed. "We do this all the time. You try and commit a crime, I beat you up, you go to jail. Don't you think it's getting a _teeny_ bit monotonous?" Spencer sighed.

"Yeah, I do, kinda." Boomerang admitted with a shrug. "But I have a job to do, mate. So I would appreciate it if you just backed off!" Boomerang pitched his namesake weapon.

"Boomerang, why do you keep trying?" The teenage genius sighed tiredly, catching the boomerang. "Let's just make it easy this time, huh pal? You know, why don't you just surrender this time? I really have some important stuff to do today."

"Aw, come on, kid…" Boomerang smirked. "You know I like a good challenge. And you never failed me there." He whipped out a control device. "Let's see ya stop this." He pressed a button.

"Huh?" Spencer blinked, noticing a little light on the boomerang starting to blink.

_Bwam!_

The boomerang exploded with a small noise. The explosion wasn't designed to harm anyone. However, the exploding boomerang released a thick, noxious black gas.

"Hey!" Spencer exclaimed. He hacked and coughed as he tried to wave the gas away. "Ack, agh! Yech!" The young hero retched. "Ugh, of all times for Eugene to be unavailable…" Spencer grumbled. Thinking fast, the young hero started waving his arm in a windmill motion at incredible speed, kicking up a wind that blew the gas off him. "Ugh…" The young hero caught his breath. "I hope that stuff doesn't damage lungs. He looked into the museum and saw Boomerang stealing a rather large diamond from a display case. "Hold it, Myers!" Spencer fired a blue sonic blast. The Australian mercenary smirked.

"Sorry, boy!" Boomerang taunted. "I gotta get going! I have a man who is very interested in this little gem." He pressed a button on his belt, and he vanished in a flash of white light, Spencer's blue sonic blast passing right through the spot where he once was.

"Blast it!" Spencer growled in frustration. He zipped over to the spot that Boomerang stood at before he vanished. The young hero scratched his head. "Boomerang's never packed a teleporter before. But then again, he is a mercenary. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he managed to pick up new tricks on his jobs. He's always coming up with new gimmicks…" He noticed something on the ground. "Hello…" He picked up a piece of paper. "He must've dropped this." Spencer examined the paper, and it was revealed to be a plane ticket. "This is a one-way ticket. To Detroit." Spencer frowned. "Looks like I'm hitting Michigan."

**Seattle, Washington**

"I will clip your blasted wings, human!" Aliyah Bishop screamed as she fired energy beams from her fists at the heroic winged jetpack-and-armor-wearing hero known as Winger.

"Lady, others have tried, and they have failed to take the King of the Skies' throne!" Winger laughed as he deftly dodged the human-Shi'Ar hybrid's energy blasts. "Hey, E.T. Your gal pal's black magic on my wings wore off, so I'm flyin' strong as ever!"

"You are a braggart, you know that?" Aliyah growled as she flew after Winger. "On Chandilar, you would have your tongue cut out for your bragging." **(1)**

"Yeah, well…we ain't there." Winger smirked. "We're on Earth, baby! And on Earth, we can brag all we want! Ha ha!" The heroic flier laughed as he deftly dodged and weaved his way through the ceiling support structures, firing energy blasts from his one working blaster at the human-Shi'Ar hybrid. Meanwhile, the Fearless Kid Razor was taking on Roulette, and he was having the time of his life.

"_I'm just a red-blooded fun-lovin' All-American Boy…_" Kid Razor sang as he flipped and cartwheeled out of the way of a barrage of black luck discs thrown by the mutant blonde bombshell.

"Grrr…" Roulette snarled angrily. "You are really getting on my blasted nerves!"

"Good for you!" Razor grinned.

_Finally, he stands still!_ Roulette pitched a black disc. It sped towards the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. Razor smirked and held up his guitar like a baseball bat.

"Heh. Just like in the Playoffs." The Ultimate Rockstar smirked. He swung his magic guitar.

_**BWAM!**_

The Fearless One's guitar hit the black disc perfectly, sending it flying back towards Roulette!

"Yipe!" The blonde ducked, and the black disc sailed right over her head.

"Oh…" The Native-American mutant known as Warpath moaned, holding his head as he emerged from the store he was knocked into. "Man, that was a hard hit…I'm glad I wasn't drunk…" He opened his eyes and saw a certain black disc fly towards him. "Ah, crap…" The disc hit him hard in the chest, knocking him back into the store he first emerged from! "Ah crap!"

"Warpath!" Roulette exclaimed. She snarled at Razor. "You think you're funny, huh?"

"Well, the Kid of Rock'll be damned." Razor chuckled. "He intended to knock your knockout self out, but he ended up hitting Andre the Giant over there, heh heh."

"I'm okay…" Warpath mumbled weakly from inside the store.

"YI!" Roulette and Razor yelped in unison as they got rained on by laser blasts.

"Aliyah, you fool!" Roulette snapped.

"Hey, Wing! I'm one of the good guys, man! I'm on your side!" Razor groaned. Winger and Aliyah streaked by, trading energy blasts.

"I _tire_ of your fancy flying and you incessant talking!" Aliyah snarled, her gauntlet unsheathing a blade at the wrist area.

"Hey, does Wolverine know you're stealing his shtick?" Winger cracked. "What next? You gonna go around proclaiming that you're the best there is at what you do? Come on! As if that guy doesn't get enough of the spotlight!" With an enraged scream, Aliyah slashed her arm upwards, but her opponents had reflexes honed by many hours of practice flying, and those very reflexes allowed him to easily dodge the blade.

"Excuse me." Razor smirked at Roulette, quickly blasting her with a beam from his guitar. "Hang on Wingman, I got artillery for ya." Razor got down on one knee and started twirling his guitar like it was Thor's hammer, Mjolnir. "YAH!" Razor pitched the twirling guitar towards Winger and Aliyah.

"Here it comes…" Winger saw the guitar coming. Aliyah wasn't as lucky.

"EEK!" Aliyah barely dodged the guitar.

"Thanks, Razor!" Winger smirked. Taking advantage of the distraction, Winger fired his one working blaster, smashing Aliyah into a support beam. The high-flyer then finished it by flying towards her and hitting her in the head with a double-fisted hammer blow, sending her sprawling to the ground. The guitar bounced off the ceiling and veered off in another angle.

"Ohhhh…" Warpath moaned, walking out of the store. "Man, what a day…" The flying guitar bounced off his head, knocking him back into the store! "Not again…" He groaned before passing out.

"Uhnn…" Roulette picked herself up. She scowled at Razor. "Cute cheap shot, pal. You are so-!"

_Clunk!_

"Uh!" Roulette fell to the ground face-first, knocked cold by Razor's flying guitar, hitting her in the noggin.

"Heh." Razor smirked, the guitar flying back into his hand. "That was fun."

"Hey, Razor! Thanks for backin' me up, bro." Winger thanked with a grin, flying down towards his fellow local hero.

"Hey anytime, brother." Razor smirked, high-fiving his friend. "What're you gonna do now?" Winger shrugged.

"Call the cops to clean up this place, fix my blaster, and then get me some chicks." Winger smirked. "You?"

"Meh. Same thing." Razor shrugged. "Only without the blaster fixing part."

**_Next: Diamond Dogs_** _Sonic Blue goes to Detroit, where he teams with Detroit's local hero, the Rockin' Renegade, to stop the mad scientist Dr. Bonham from unleashing his newest creations, the Diamond Dogs!_

**(1) – Chandilar is the name of the central world of the Shi'Ar Empire.**


	71. Diamond Dogs, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Where'd we put the damn boat?" – Tom Hanks as Lawrence Bourne III, _Volunteers!_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts _**– _Kid Razor is a hero with a lot of nicknames. However, one is unique to a country. In Canada, Kid Razor is nicknamed 'The Heavy Metal Hitman' because of an adventure in the Calgary Stampede, a giant rodeo. It helped he was wearing pink-and-black at the time._  
--

_**Chapter 71: Diamond Dogs, Part 1**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"Ahhh, what a wonderful day." Kid Razor smiled as he soared over Cleveland's skyline. "As much fun as I had in Seattle brawling with those Hellion horse-brains, the Kid of Rock is glad to be back home."

"I see you had a good time in Seattle, old buddy." A familiar voice chuckled. The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll smirked.

"Hey there, Ronnie." Razor greeted as the ghost of the rock legend appeared alongside him. "Did you see the interview with Joan?"

"Of course I did, Razor." Ronnie nodded. "Did you _really_ have to talk about the Black Cat's breasts?"

"Not my fault they're worth talking about." Razor shrugged.

"You already have Tigra wanting to shred your big mouth into ribbons for the old 'shags-like-a-minx' comment, now you'll have a certain platinum blonde former cat burglar out to slash your ass to pieces." Ronnie then let out a chuckle. "Funny, both of them have a cat motif. You seem to have a very special relationship with cat-themed women."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Razor laughed in a deadpan voice. "My sides are splitting. Oh God, somebody call a doctor."

"Ah, I do my best." Ronnie smirked.

"Don't forget pal, you're a rock musician, not a comedian." Razor reminded the former glam rocker.

"Ah, shaddap." Ronnie grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Heh heh, hit a nerve, old buddy?" Razor teased. Ronnie scowled at his young protégé.

"I'm sure you'd know plenty about being a terrible comedian." Ronnie grunted.

"Oh now, what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Razor frowned.

"You're no Sam Kinison yourself, Razor." Ronnie chuckled. "You scream like him, but you're not as funny as him."

"Ha ha ha." Razor frowned. "I admire the guy, you know."

**Cincinnati, Ohio**

Spencer Burton, in his full Sonic Blue armor, walked into a convenience store. The cashier's jaw dropped.

"Oh my God!"

"Hi." Spencer waved. "Just here to get some milk." The young hero went over to the refrigerated area of the store. The short trek gave the young genius plenty of time to think.

_What the heck was up with that diamond that Boomerang stole?_ Spencer thought, running back towards the house he shared with his mother. _I guess I had better ask around. But first, I'd better get this milk home to Mom before it gets spoiled…Which shouldn't be long considering my current speed and the direction I'm going in._ The teenage armored superhero zipped right over to his mother's house, and went in around the back. He knocked on the kitchen door.

"Yes?" Delilah Burton went up to the door and opened it. She smiled when she saw her grinning son standing at the door, carrying the milk. "Oh, hello Spencer."

"Hey, Mom." Spencer grinned. "I got the milk." He held out the gallon containers.

"Thank you, sweetheart." Delilah took the containers gratefully and put them in the fridge. "I just made a cake. You want a slice?"

"I'd love to Mom, but I got a bit of a case right now." Spencer admitted.

"I thought you said you could easily stop that Boomerang guy." Delilah blinked confusedly.

"Well, he surprised me with another one of those silly gimmicked boomerangs of his again." The young hero sighed. "And he just vanished, making off with some diamond he was trying to steal."

"What kind of diamond?" Delilah wondered, cutting a piece off her cake. She then put the piece on a plate and gave it to Spencer. "Here you go. You really should eat more. I worry about you."

"Mooooom…" Spencer shook his head good-naturedly, trying the cake. "Hey, this is good. Anyway, I'm not sure why Boomerang made off with this particular diamond. But I do know where he went."

"Where, dear?" Delilah blinked. Spencer smirked and pulled out the plane ticket he had found at the crime scene.

"Spencer, that's a plane ticket." Delilah pointed out the obvious.

"Not just any plane ticket, Mom." Spencer smirked. "It's a one-way ticket to Detroit."

"…I don't understand." Delilah blinked.

"Boomerang must have business in Detroit. Looks like I'm gonna have to go down to the Motor City and take a look." Spencer deduced. "After I do some asking around about that diamond."

"Do be careful, Spencer." Delilah warned. "I've heard Detroit is a rough city."

"Ah, I'll be fine. I'll just tell them I'm a car aficionado." Spencer chuckled. "Besides, I heard that Detroit recently got themselves their own local hero at last. I've been wanting to meet him." **(1)**

"Oh yes, I have heard of him." Delilah nodded. "What is his name?"

"Renegade, I think." Spencer scratched his chin. "They say he's a mutant version of Kid Razor."

"But, aren't Kid Razor's powers magical?" Delilah remembered.

"The Scarlet Witch is a mutant, too. She also has training in sorcery." Spencer reminded. "Magic does strange stuff. I could never figure it out."

"Maybe it's not meant to be figured out, sweetheart." Delilah smiled.

"Yeah, perhaps." Spencer took a bite from his cake.

**Detroit, Michigan**

"_Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see…_" A young voice sang as the source of it flew over the streets of the Motor City, covered in a rainbow-colored aura. The voice's source was an African-American teenager, dressed in a red-and-yellow costume with a black leather jacket that had red-and-yellow sleeves. The costume had an emblem on the chest of a black 5-pointed star with a stylized red "R" on it. His hair was platinum blond, in a wild style reminiscent of the Guns 'n' Roses guitarist known as Slash. His face was painted in red, yellow, and black, almost like a mask. His civilian name was Cody Wilson, a Detroit mutant who had the power to somehow access the Power of Rock, the mystical force that gave Kid Razor his powers. To the citizens of Detroit, he was the Renegade, the hero of the Motor City. His powers were similar to Razor's. He and Razor both shared the powers of flight, agility, reflexes, flexibility, physical invulnerability, and reaction time. However, because Cody Wilson and Robert Parkins were different people, their powers were different. Cody had superhuman strength, superhuman sight, and the ability to create constructs from the mystical force. "Well, let's see…" Renegade's eyes narrowed as he used his super-sight to check out what was going down in his city. "Hmm…ah, man! For a city that is known as one of America's crime capitals, it sure is dull, today." He took a stop and started to hover in midair. He sighed in boredom. "Man, I'm bored. Bored, bored, bored. Booooooooored. Hmmm, if Kid Razor was bored, he always bothered the heroes in New York. Too bad I can't get to New York. They got good spaghetti over there."

"They got good cannoli, too. Especially in Little Italy." A voice told the Renegade. The young hero blinked. 

"Hey! Who said that?" The Detroit native blinked.

"Over here, you goofball Razor-wannabe." The voice called from a rooftop. Renegade turned around and saw Sonic Blue wave at him from the roof. The Detroit hero narrowed his eyes.

"Who the hell are you, fruitcake? Some kinda Iron Man wannabe?" Renegade scowled.

"Hardly." Spencer scoffed, crossing his arms. _Yup, this guy is just like Razor when we first met. Ah, it'll be fine. I could put up with the original Rock 'n' Roll Idiot, I can certainly deal with this knucklehead._ "The name's Sonic Blue, pal. I'm the local hero of Cincinnati."

"Good for you, you overgrown blueberry." Renegade grunted. "If you're Cincinnati's hero, what the hell are you doing here in Detroit? This is my town!"

"A regular rogue of mine stole some diamond, and I have reason to believe that he ended up here in Detroit." Spencer explained.

"…So?" Renegade frowned. "This is my town. Let the Renegade deal with him. Do all you local heroes do team-ups like this, because this is my first, and already the Renegade doesn't like it."

"Well…" Spencer scratched the back of his head. "Team-ups between Local Heroes used to be pretty rare, considering how tough it is to go to different cities. They usually happen when one hero's villain crosses into another hero's city."

"…Let me guess, the villains started finding ways around that." Renegade smirked.

"Yup." Spencer nodded. "The guy I'm chasing after, Boomerang, is a mercenary. He manages to get around thanks to various contacts."

"Boomerang, huh?" Renegade crossed his arms. Spencer chuckled.

_Just like Razor._ Spencer observed as he chuckled.

"Let the Renegade guess. Boomerang is Australian, right?" Renegade quipped.

"Well, yeah." Spencer nodded. "But that's not important right now. He stole a diamond back in Cincinnati, and I have reason to believe he's here in Detroit. I found a plane ticket to this very city."

"Good for you." Renegade grunted. "Just tell me who this monkey is, and the Renegade will deal with him."

"…You haven't been doing this superhero stuff long, have you?" Spencer deduced. Renegade scowled.

"What's it to you, Blue Boy?" Renegade grunted.

"Maybe you could use some help." Spencer offered. "You're a lot like Kid Razor, and…"

"Kid Razor!" Renegade grinned. "Oh yeah. The so-called _Original_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. You know him?"

"For years." Spencer nodded. "He's one of my best friends."

"Really?" Renegade smirked. "How is that clown doing?"

_Hoo_ _boy._ The teenage genius thought. "He's doing alright. But that's not important right now, Renegade. I have to find Boomerang and get that diamond back. We should work together." Renegade thought about it for a moment.

"Ah, whatever. You do what you want. But the Renegade is going to warn you. You tick me off, man…and I'll knock your ass out." The Detroit teen smirked and flew off in a streak of color and light.

"Wait-! Aw, man." Spencer groaned.

**_Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 2_** _The purpose of the diamond theft revealed!_

**(1) – In the "Detroit Rock City" storyline.**


	72. Diamond Dogs, Part 2

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "God Almighty!" – Jim Ross, _Monday Night Raw_**

--

**_Local Hero Facts –_** _Kid Razor's alter ego was named after screen legend Robert Redford._

--

_**Chapter 72: Diamond Dogs, Part 2**_

**A warehouse in Detroit**

"This had better be worth me time, Doc. I nearly had me arse kicked by that flamin' gallah Sonic Blue." Fred Myers, the Australian mercenary known as Boomerang, grumbled as he handed the diamond over to a certain 'mad scientist'.

"But you didn't, my boomerang-throwing friend." Dr. Wally Bonham smirked. "I trust my teleportation gadget worked like a charm.

"Sure did, mate." Boomerang smirked. "That stupid gallah Sonic Blue didn't expect me to just vanish like that! I bet the clod is still trying to figure out what the hell happened and where I went, heh heh."

"Indeed." Bonham nodded, looking at the diamond. "Yes…" He turned it around, examining the diamond. "Yes, this will be perfect."

"Perfect for what?" Boomerang blinked. "You never did exactly tell me what you wanted this diamond for."

"You're right, I never did!" Bonham grinned widely. "You see, this diamond right here, possesses the perfect chemical composition, size, and shape to be used in my latest inventions. Come on, I'll show you!" Boomerang followed Bonham to a basement, where Boomerang was shocked by what he saw.

"Bloody hell…" Boomerang blinked. He saw three large robotic dogs, each one the size of a car. Their outer shells were shiny, multifaceted, and clear, almost like they were made of diamond. Their parallelogram-shaped eyes were dark red, like a red light that hadn't been turned on yet. Their mouths held two rows of sharp teeth, and their paws had menacing-looking curved claws. The tails of the dogs had a club on the end with spikes on them, like the head of a mace. One of the dogs had on a golden Roman-style helmet on it, and golden bands with silver spikes around the ankles. "What are those bloody things?"

"Presenting…" Dr. Bonham smirked. "The Diamond Dogs!" Boomerang blinked at the scientist.

"Diamond Dogs?" Boomerang blinked. He then crossed his arms. "Tell me mate, and be honest, have you been smoking some illicit plants and listening to too much David Bowie lately?" Dr. Bonham blinked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Bonham blinked.

"Well, Diamond Dogs is the name of a David Bowie album." Boomerang explained. "It's a good album. You should give it a listen sometime."

"Ah, it's a coincidence." Bonham waved it off. "Anyway, this diamond will be sent into Cerberus here, the lead dog." He pointed at the gold-helmeted dog.

"You call a dog Cerberus, but you don't give it three bloody heads." Boomerang groaned. "What's the point of calling a robotic dog Cerberus if you don't plan on giving it three heads!"

"Pal, it's my invention, I decide what to do with it and how it looks!" Bonham groaned.

"I'm just sayin' mate, you're going to call something Cerberus, people will expect a three-headed dog." Boomerang explained. "I don't let myself be known as 'Boomerang' for throwing baseballs."

"Look, can we get off this right now?" Bonham sighed. "I shall now place this diamond inside Cerberus." Taking a small stepladder, the scientist placed the diamond inside Cerberus through a panel that was in the diamond-skinned golden-helmeted dog's back.

"The diamond will be the power source or something?" Boomerang guessed.

"Kind of." Bonham explained. "The diamond will be used to help draw power from the internal batteries and allow the dogs to use the power more efficiently."

"Don't you need three diamonds, then? You got three dogs." Boomerang crossed his arms. Bonham grinned.

"That's what that idiot Renegade would say. But the lead dog transmits power to the other dogs. That way, it will be harder for Renegade to disable them."

"You mean the diamond skin is just for decoration?" Boomerang joked with a smirk. The scientist glared at the Australian mercenary.

"Very funny." Bonham grumbled. "I'll show you! With my Diamond Dogs, I can finally capture the Renegade, and through him, I'll finally learn the secrets of the Power of Rock!"

**Elsewhere in Detroit**

"Hey Speedy, you alright down there?" Renegade called mockingly at Sonic Blue, who was racing across Detroit's streets. "Those streets can get rough!"

"I can manage." Spencer waved. He had to admit, the streets of Detroit were quite different from the streets of his native Cincinnati. He did have a little trouble finding his way around, but luckily, the ever-thoughtful teenage hero had a plan. _God bless the Global Positioning System._ Spencer mentally grinned.

"You should start learning to fly, Mr. World's Fastest Nerd!" Renegade laughed, doing a barrel roll. "It's such a great way to get away from traffic."

"I can handle traffic, kid." Spencer chuckled, deftly weaving by cars. "Hey Renegade, you haven't been doing this superhero stuff long, have you?" The African-American young hero scrunched his face as he remembered his superhero career.

"Not too long, why?" Renegade frowned.

"Well, if it's not too much trouble…" Spencer chuckled. "Maybe I can give you some pointers on how to do the job right." Renegade flew down towards the Iron Speedster.

"Right?" Renegade frowned. "You got a problem with the way I do things?"

"You're a rookie, Renegade. You could use some improvement." Spencer told the mutant hero sagely. "Believe me, we've all been there. We've all had our growing pains. Even the ever-cocky Kid Razor, who likely won't admit it." Renegade scowled.

"I got no problem with the way the Renegade whups ass." Renegade grunted. "What right do you have to say I need improvement, nerd boy?"

"I saw some news footage of you fighting some bad guy on TV." Spencer explained.

"The Lightmaster?" Renegade blinked. "Oh yeah. He's an idiotic human light bulb." **(1)**

"Well, you were pretty sloppy, kid. I'm sorry to say." Spencer shook his head.

"Sloppy?" Renegade growled. "You sayin' the Renegade can't kick ass, nerd boy?"

"Nope." Spencer shook his head. "Just you're too much of a showboater."

"Hey, I like to give my fans a show!" Renegade grinned.

"That's the problem, Renegade." Spencer sighed. "You're too concerned about showing off what you can do rather than doing the job. That can cause a lot of disaster and get a lot of people to get hurt."

"Kid Razor shows off, and you don't nag _him_ about it!" Renegade snapped.

"Actually, I nagged Razor about it all the time." Spencer told the Detroit native. "He was just like you. All he ever cared about was putting on a show. He didn't mind wrecking half of downtown Cleveland to take down a supervillain because all he wanted to do was give people a show."

"And the people loved it, didn't they?" Renegade smirked.

"The cops didn't. Razor smashed up their favorite donut shop." Spencer shook his head. "Okay, it wasn't really his fault, he was piledriven through it, but you get what I mean…" He was interrupted by his armor picking up a police broadcast. "Hey, Renegade, can you hear the police band?"

"Hear it? Does the Renegade look like he has a damn radio to you?" Renegade grumbled. Spencer blinked.

_Oh, right._ The armored speedster remembered. _I should've remembered! Razor told me Renegade lacks super-hearing, instead having super-sight. It must be because Renegade has an X-Gene, and/or he's not Razor._ "Oh, right. I forgot, heh heh. Razor told me about you. I should've remembered that you don't have super-hearing."

"Yeah, for some reason, the Renegade can't hear a pin drop 3 miles away like Razor can." Renegade frowned.

"Maybe it's because you access the Power of Rock with an X-Gene, unlike Razor." Spencer theorized. "Or maybe because you're not Kid Razor, the Power of Rock grants you similar, but slightly altered abilities. But we can theorize later, my armor picked up a police transmission. There's a bank robbery in the Financial District."

"Time to rock 'n' roll." Renegade smirked, gaining altitude. Spencer smirked.

"Just like Razor. Razor would say that." The Cincinnati native chuckled, putting on a extra burst of speed.

**_Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 3_** _Sonic Blue and Renegade work together for the first time, against a group of bank robbers._

**(1) – The Lightmaster is an obscure Spider-Man villain.**


	73. Diamond Dogs, Part 3

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

**_Local Hero Facts_** – _Kid Razor gained infamy in England when he and the four-armed Savage Land Mutate known as Barbarus brawled in London. The fight started in a bar, and they ended up trading punches and beating each other all the way to Scotland._

--

**Author's Note: Sorry I haven't update in months. My word processor's trial period ran out, and I had to find a new one. Also, I was getting burned out with all my stories, so I decided to take a break. Hopefully, this new chapter will make up for it.**

_**Chapter 73: Diamond Dogs, Part 3**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

_**SMASH!**_

A squad car belonging to the Cleveland Police Department smashed its way through the front door of a warehouse, sirens blaring. The noisemakers shut off, and the car immediately stopped. Two of Cleveland's finest, two certain sergeants to be exact, were in the car, there to bust another crime. This one was a doozy. The two cops were investigating a ring of smuggling knock-off rock t-shirts.

"Alright, freeze!" Sergeant Harold Polanski roared as he leapt out of the driver's side of the car, pointing his pistol and flashlight ahead of him.

"Cleveland Police Department!" Sergeant Amanda Briscoe added, pointing her own gun and flashlight. "You're all under arrest! Hands over your…" The two cops immediately stopped when they heard screams. "…heads?"

"What in the hell?" Polanski grumbled. "It's not Ramada at it again. She'd run her mouth."

"Help us! Save us!" A thug screamed, jumping inside the car. "He's crazy!" Polanski and Briscoe blinked at the man.

"Huh?" They chorused, looking at each other. The two cops ran deeper into the warehouse, where they saw a huge overly-muscular man, with a black costume like the one Spider-Man once wore, only he had a big mouth with lots of sharp teeth and a long tongue. The man was beating up thugs and wrecking the knock-off rock t-shirt operation. The cops' jaws dropped.

"_Venom!_" They exclaimed.

"Awwww…" Venom laughed, grabbing a thug. "Nobody wants to play with me."

"Help me! Save me!" The thug screamed. His screams continued as he was thrown in an overhand style by Venom, causing him to fly through the air and crash into a pile of crates. "Lookit the birdies…"

"Come on, boys." Venom grinned. "I want to play some more." He lashed out his long tongue, grabbing one fleeing thug around the neck. The symbiote-powered man then reeled the thug back and knocked him cold with one mighty punch. "And maybe snack on some brains."

"…I think we're gonna need backup." Briscoe blinked. She then winced as Venom attacked another thug, causing the man to scream bloody murder. "Lots of backup."

"The 101st Airborne may not be able to stop that lunatic." Polanski groaned. "The man's brawls with Spider-Man are legendary."

"So…" The young blonde Briscoe blinked. "What do we do?" Polanski sighed.

"I don't know." The veteran officer groaned. "I really don't." Oblivious to the presence of the two cops, Venom continued on his rampage. Thugs ran around, fired guns and tried to escape and/or fight in general, but Venom was having his way.

"Oh my God! He just stuffed a whole bunch of t-shirts down Billy's throat!"

"HELP ME!"

"Come on over and play, boys!"

"My ear! He ate my ear!"

"About as good as brains!"

"AAAAAH!"

"Save us! Save us!"

"Call the cops!"

"Mommy!"

"I want my mommy…"

**Detroit, Michigan**

Marlene Renford was a bank teller. And she also happened to be a cute brunette. When she came to work today, she expected to have a busy day, considering it was Friday. On Friday, she would see many customers, wanting to deposit their paychecks for the week. However, she didn't expect to face the classic cliché hazard of the bank teller: A man dressed in black, including a ski mask, and pointing a futuristic gun right between her eyes.

"Okay, lady." The teller grunted. "You know what to do."

"Uhm…a-a-actually…" Marlene stammered nervously. "I'm not sure. I've never been robbed before. Which is quite a surprise in this city." The bank robber blinked.

"Yer kidding me." The robber blinked.

"Nope. I'm not." Marlene shook her head. The bank robber sighed.

"Hurry up, man!" A second bank robber snapped at the one that was holding up Marlene, pointing a futuristic silver rifle at a group of customers that were lying on the floor. "We gotta split! The cops'll be here any second!"

"Alright! Gimme a break, man! This chick ain't robbed a bank before!" The robber holding up Marlene snapped back. "Okay lady, you take the sack, and you fill it with money. It ain't hard." He held out a sack.

"Miss, I'd not take that sack if I were you. These gentlemen aren't going to be doing any business today." A voice advised Marlene.

"Yeah, what he said." A second voice agreed. The robbers turned and saw Sonic Blue and Renegade, standing at the doorway.

"Crap! Costumes!" One robber explained.

"Hey, man! You said there were no costumes in Detroit!" A second robber snapped to a third.

"There weren't any as far as I knew!" He exclaimed in his own defense.

"I'm new." Renegade smirked.

"And I know the clown in the armor!" A fourth pointed at Sonic Blue. "You're Sonic Blue! You're Cincinnati's punk! The hell're you doin' here?"

"Let's just say that I had some business here." Sonic Blue frowned, crossing his arms. "Alright, Renegade. Let's show these…" Spencer turned his head, and noticed Renegade was gone. "Renegade? Renegade? Where are you…oh, brother." Spencer groaned as he saw Renegade flirting with Marlene.

"So, tell me something, babe…" The Power of Rock-charged young mutant smirked at the brunette teller. "Did you ever pose for Playboy?" Marlene blinked.

"Uhm…" The brunette blinked. Spencer sighed.

_Oh yeah._ The young genius thought. _This guy is a lot like Razor back in the day._

"I'm blasting this chump!" One robber aimed his rifle at Renegade's back.

"Renegade! Look out!" Spencer warned. Renegade grumbled.

"What do you want, nerd-boy?" Renegade grunted as he turned around. The robber fired his rifle with a FWOOM!" However, the Detroit native reacted fast. As the energy beam from the rifle raced towards him, Renegade commanded the Power of Rock flowing in him to form a protective aura around him. A rainbow-colored aura appeared around the Detroit mutant's body…

"Jeez Louise!" The firing robber exclaimed. "It's not stopping him!" The beam reflected off Renegade's aura, flying safely through the roof. The African-American teen scowled at the robber.

"Hey bitch, didn't yo' mama ever tell you not to interrupt the Renegade when he's busy romancin'?" Renegade angrily fired a beam of rainbow energy from his fist, blasting the man through a wall.

"Renegade, watch your strength!" Spencer exclaimed. "You could've hurt that guy!"

"Oh, brother." Renegade groaned. "You're a real bleedin' heart, you know that, nerd-boy? The guy tried to blow my damn face off!" He didn't notice two other robbers aiming their weapons at him.

"Look out!" Spencer yelled. Zipping by in a blue blur, the teenage genius snatched the weapons from the surprised robbers. "Sorry, boys. But you're a little young for these." He broke them over his knee. Renegade turned around and scowled.

"Hey, punks! You think you can go around blasting the Renegade in the back? Let me show you punks how blasting is DONE!" Renegade fired up his aura. Spencer saw it glow and flash with incredible intensity.

"Uh oh…" Spencer moved in double-time, getting all the people out. "Renegade! Stop!"

"ALDO…"

"Renegade!"

"_NOVA…_"

"RENEGADE!" Spencer grabbed the last two robbers and fled the bank. "EVERYONE GET AWAY FROM THE BANK! IT'S GONNA BLOW!"

"**_EXPLOSION!_**" Renegade roared. His aura erupted in a flash of light, creating the Aldo Nova Explosion, a move that was like being caught in an explosion. The windows of the Bank blasted apart with the explosion, and there was a very big hole in the roof. Spencer glared.

"That little dope! What was he _thinking?!_" The young genius picked up a rock and threw it down on the ground in frustration. "Even Razor at his worst wasn't **_this_** bad!"

**_Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 4_** _Sonic Blue and the Renegade have a confrontation!_


	74. Diamond Dogs, Part 4

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

_**Local Hero Facts** – Kid Razor's guitar can sound like any stringed instrument that was used in rock songs. For example, Kid Razor's guitar could take the form of the Red Special, but sound like a Stratocaster!_

--

_**Chapter 74: Diamond Dogs, Part 4**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"This is insane." Sgt. Harold Polanski sighed, looking down at his styrofoam cup full of coffee. He was sitting in a diner. "What in the name of God is Venom doing here?"

"Maybe he came by to visit relatives." A familiar voice chuckled. Polanski looked up and saw Sgt. Amanda Briscoe sitting down. The grinning officer held up a large brown paper bag. "I got munchies..."

"I could use some food." Polanski admitted. "And where _did_ you get that smart mouth of yours?" Briscoe shrugged.

"Runs in the family, I guess. I had an uncle in the NYPD who had a knack for one-liners." Briscoe admitted. "Anyway, I still can't believe that Venom is here."

"Yeah...and six perps do not have brains anymore thanks to him." Polanski nodded.

"Well, I heard somewhere that symbiotes require brains to survive. Some chemical in them or something." Briscoe remembered, putting her hand in the bag.

"How do you know this stuff?" Polanski wondered, sipping his coffee. Briscoe shrugged.

"I have a cousin who works in an NYPD crime lab." The blonde officer explained. She started rummaging in the bag. "Let's see what I got here...Ah! Salad for me, and a burger and fries for you." She handed out the food. "Huh."

"What?" Polanski wondered.

"You say you don't like fast food joints, yet you eat a burger from a diner." Briscoe noted.

"Something about a diner burger, you know." Polanski explained. "It's not like a fast food burger. A fast food burger is processed. It tastes exactly the same everywhere. A diner burger is unique. Special. Made by human hands. It's not made by a machine like a fast food burger." He shook his head. "Look at us. We were talking about Venom, and now we're jawing about fast food burgers."

"The way things go, I guess." Briscoe shrugged, eating her salad. "But what about Venom? He's running around, beating the holy hell out of criminals, and I think he may have eaten some people. What do we do?"

"...I dunno, Briscoe." Polanski admitted. "I've dealt with aliens, monsters, psychopaths, lunatics, sorceresses, drunks, wild animals, but symbiotes are pretty rare for me."

**Elsewhere in Cleveland**

"_Livin' after midnight...Rockin' till the dawn...Lovin' till the morning..._" Kid Razor sang happily as he flew over the skies of his beloved Cleveland. "Hmmm hm hmm...Man, the Kid of Rock is bored...what can the Kid of Rock do to pass the time...Ooh! I got me an idea! The Kid of Rock can go have some fun with the other superheroes, heh heh!" The Kid of Rock 'n' Roll pulled his Warper out of his jacket, and activated a portal to New York City.

**Avengers Mansion**

The Quinjet took off from its underground hangar, carrying several members of Earth's Mightiest Heroes off towards another mission. And a certain rainbow streak was flying towards it.

"Hey!" Razor grinned. "The Quinjet! That means...Earth's So-Called Mightiest Heroes, heh heh...oh, the fun I shall have with them..." He flew up beside the Quinjet and whipped out a spray paint can. This was no ordinary spray paint can. It was a magical spray paint can that Kid Razor had obtained during one of his first adventures. The can never ran out of paint, and it allowed the user to paint anything on any surface. The limits were in the imagination. And Razor decided to tag the Quinjet. Whistling happily, the Fearless One spray-painted the words "Kid Razor wuz here" in big, bright bold blue letters, shining against the Quinjet's silver skin. "Heh. And now to say hello..." Razor shot towards the cockpit. Inside, Captain America, who was piloting the Quinjet, was briefing some of his fellow Avengers inside.

"Alright, Avengers..." Cap started to brief his teammates. "Now, we have heard that-!" He heard a thump. The Star-Spangled Avenger turned around. "What in the name of-?!" Kid Razor had scrunched his face up against a window and started making goofy faces.

"Waahhhhh-boola-boola-bleah!" Razor taunted. The Avengers inside groaned, and a couple laughed.

"You know, I'm really tempted to go out there and do what his mother should be doing: giving him a boot up the backside!" Ms. Marvel grunted.

"Hey, Razor! Buh-leahhhhhh!" Wonder Man cracked his own goofy face.

"Don't encourage him, Simon. _Please_ don't encourage him." Ms. Marvel groaned.

**Detroit, Michigan**

Police, ambulances, and fire trucks were gathered around the wrecked bank. Paramedics were checking over the bank customers, and the robbers themselves. Luckily, no one was injured. Just a little spooked, and in the case of the bank robbers, their pants were wet. Meanwhile, on the roof of a nearby building, two young heroes were hashing out some issues. One was Spencer Burton, the teenage genius who wore a blue suit of armor, which allowed him to fight evil as the super-fast, sonic beam-firing Sonic Blue. The other was Cody Wilson, the Power of Rock-packing mutant known as the Renegade. The two of them are embroiled in an argument.

"What were you _thinking_, man?!" Spencer snapped at the Renegade.

"I _was_ thinking that the Renegade was gonna blow those punks right outta the bank, that's what!" Rengade snapped back. "You gotta problem with that, Blueboy?"

"You nearly got someone killed, man!" Spencer groaned. "You used an Aldo Nova Explosion! That's one of Kid Razor's attacks!"

"Kid Razor didn't patent that damn move!" Renegade scowled. "Ain't nothin' sayin' I can't use it! He don't use it much anyway!"

"Problem is, there's a reason that Razor doesn't use that move often." Spencer tried to explain. "And what you just did is the exact reason why he doesn't use that move often."

"I'm not Kid Razor, ya jackass!" Renegade's fist started to fire rainbow sparks.

"I wouldn't be surprised if some people are saying you're ripping him off." Spencer frowned, crossing his arms.

"The hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" Renegade scowled.

"You got the similar powers, you got the blond hair, and the third-person speak. All you need is a magic guitar and a semi-successful music career." Spencer snickered. "I kid. Kid Razor's got a couple platinum albums under his belt."

"Look punk, I don't go into your damn town and tell you how to whup ass, so don't you go telling the Renegade how to do it!" Renegade growled.

"You should be thanking your lucky stars that nobody was even _injured_ in your little stunt. Much less killed." Spencer tried to explain. "Renegade, you have an incredible power flowing through you. And I know from my years knowing Kid Razor that the Power of Rock can affect the mind as well as the body. I know how it makes you feel, Renegade. I know that it can make you feel like you can do whatever you want, without any consequences. You have to learn the lesson Kid Razor himself had to learn: That actions have consequences. You're right about one thing, Renegade. Those punks had to be stopped. However, you used too much force. You have to learn to hold back a bit." Renegade frowned.

"And what makes _you_ such an expert on the Power of Rock, jerkoff?" Renegade grumbled.

"Because I know Kid Razor, the _original_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll." Spencer explained. "And he was a lot like you when he started out: Overly cocky, full of himself, never thought about the consequences of his actions...okay, he still is overly cocky and arrogant, and he _definitely_ never thinks of the consequences of his actions, especially when it comes to his...habits around superheroines. But he does keep some things in mind now."

"Because he's getting old." Renegade smirked. "He should learn to make way for the _NEW_ Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. I met Razor in Detroit, and I pounded the crap outta him!" **(1)**

"That's not what he told me." Spencer snickered. Renegade glared.

"Oh, and what'd he tell you?"

"He told me you tried to pick a fight with him..." Spencer remembered. "And he told me he took you to the woodshed, so to speak." Renegade's eyes widened at Spencer's remark.

"HE SAID **_WHAT?!_**" Renegade roared. "**_Tell me_** he did not say that.!"

"Oh, he did." Spencer nodded. The Detroit-born hero thrust his fist in Spencer's direction, firing a rainbow energy beam. However, Spencer saw it coming. The young inventor just calmly used his speed to sidestep the beam.

"Oh, so you pack speed, huh?" Renegade smirked.

"That's hardly a secret, pal." Spencer frowned, crossing his arms. "Why do you think they call me the _Iron_ _Speedster_?"

"Well, you be needin' that name when I cut those legs out from under ya!" An enraged Renegade roared, flinging a couple buzzsaw constructs at Spencer. However, the aquamarine-armored hero managed to zip right out of their way.

"Nice try, pal. But you can't cut off my legs if you can't get to them." Spencer remarked. "And there's another problem. You're lettin' your temper get the better of you. Razor used to do that."

"Did Razor ever do this?" Renegade scowled as the young hero tore a curved air conditioning vent right off the roof and got ready to pitch it at the armored genius. However, using armor-enhanced reflexes, Spencer quickly blasted the vent right out of the Detroit native's hands.

"Not exactly." The Cincinnati-born hero retorted. "Look, Renegade. You got the passion for the job, which is important. However, you're not using your head. When it comes to superheroing, you gotta use your head."

"Sez who? You?" Renegade scowled. "You listen here, punk! You got no damn right to go around and talk trash about how I whup ass!"

"Renegade, I'm trying to help you out here!" Spencer tried to explain. "You took out those punks-!"

"I took them down! So why the hell are you nagging me about doing it?!" Renegade yelled.

"Because superheroes are supposed to be _better_ than guys like that!" Spencer yelled back.

"And who are _you_ to lecture the Renegade?" Renegade scowled. "We all know how _you_ started out! You started out doing high-speed thefts!"

"I'm not proud of it, Renegade." Spencer frowned. "That part of my life is over. My mother is fine, and she got a job that has some decent benefits."

"I'm just sayin' man, what gives you the right to act so hifalutin', huh? This ain't Cincinnati, okay? This is Detroit! It's a different place, man!" Renegade groaned. "What works there don't work here! So step off!"

"Renegade, you have to learn to use your head, you stubborn nutjob." Spencer sighed. "I know that you feel you know what you're doing, but at some point, you're going to see that you're going to have to _think_ in order to stop the bad guys."

"Ah, there ain't nothing I can face that a beatdown won't fix." Renegade smirked.

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 5**_ _Sonic Blue and the Renegade's first team-up continues as the boys face Dr. Bonham, Boomerang, and the Diamond Dogs!_

**(1) – In the "Detroit Rock City" storyline. It's the one where Kid Razor and the XSE join forces.**


	75. Diamond Dogs, Part 5

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

_**Local Hero Facts** – Kid Razor once pulled an infamous prank on the female terrorist known as the Viper._

--

_**Chapter 75: Diamond Dogs, Part 5**_

**The Australian Outback**

"RAAAAAAAAAAR!" A gigantic mutant kangaroo-like creature roared as it jumped up and down in place.

"**_WAHHHHHHH!_**" The Avengers screamed as they were sent flying by the shockwaves and the tremors that the kangaroo created.

"Ohhhh..." The Web-slinging wonder known as Spider-Man moaned as he got to his feet, holding his head. "Why are we doing this again?"

"What I'd like to know is who in the _hell_ does genetic and cybernetic experiments on innocent kangaroos?" The Black Cat exclaimed. "It's incredibly stupid! Not to mention illegal and cruel."

"And me without any squirrels..." Squirrel Girl groaned.

"Just our luck." The Wasp grunted as she and Yellowjacket helped Wonder Man and the Scarlet Witch to their feet.

"RAAAAR!" The kangaroo monster roared.

"That thing is indestructible..." Wanda Maximoff moaned, shaking her head.

"RAAAAAR!" The kangaroo monster's eyes started to glow.

"Look out!" Ms. Marvel warned. "He's gonna fire his eye beams!"

"Ms. Marvel, get ready to use your powers!" Cap ordered. "Perhaps we can stop it with its own eye beams!"

"On it, Cap!" The blonde ex-Air Force officer flew up towards the kangaroo monster. The monster roared and fired its eye beams, emerald in color, at the blonde. However, her altered physiology not only allowed her to withstand the energy beams, it allowed her to _absorb_ the energy.

"Oh...YEAH! Whoo-hoo!" The heroine formerly known as Warbird whooped as the kangaroo's energy flowed into her. "God, I love being an Avenger!"

"Right now, I wish I wasn't...aie..." Spidey held his shoulder.

"Alright, you overgrown _Critters_ reject!" Ms. Marvel roared, pointing her fists at the monster kangaroo. "Try THIS!" She fired the green energy back at its creator. The energy hit the monster square in the chest, causing an explosion that engulfed the monster and the blonde heroine.

"Carol!" Cap exclaimed.

"Look!" Black Cat pointed at the sky. She saw a dazed Carol get blown out of the explosion.

"I got her! I got her!" Wonder Man quickly flew up and caught the ex-Air Force officer. "You okay, Carol?" The blonde grinned goofily.

"But Daddy, I don't wanna go to school today..." A dazed Carol mumbled. "I wanna stay home and bake cookies with Mommy..."

"Oh-kay..." Wonder Man blinked. "I think you're gonna need to lie down for a while."

"M'not sleepy..." Carol mumbled as Wonder Man flew down towards his teammates.

"Is she alright?" Wanda asked concernedly.

"I...think so." The ionic-powered hero blinked. "She's pretty much invulnerable. I think she just needs to sleep for a while."

"I want cookies..." The dazed Carol mumbled.

"Is that thing dead?" Black Cat asked nobody in particular. A roaring was heard.

"Way to jinx us, 'Licia." Spidey teased his ex. The former cat burglar only stuck her tongue out at him in response.

"Nyeah!"

"Oh, no..." Cap groaned. The kangaroo monster took a step forward. Some of its fur was singed, some of its skin was charred, and parts of it even got vaporized, revealing cybernetic parts underneath.

"I told ya we should've brought the Holy Hand Grenade." Spidey muttered. "But _noooooooo_, you just had to keep it back in the Mansion..."

"**_BON JOVI BOOSTER!_**" A voice roared. A streak of rainbow-colored energy flew out of nowhere and slammed into the monster's chest. The kangaroo creature roared in pain as it staggered backward, and the streak bounced off.

"Kid Razor..." Cap sighed.

"Oh, God..." Wanda groaned.

"**_HELLOOOOOOOOOO AUSTRALIA!_**" Razor laughed. "Hey, guys! Havin' a marsupial problem?"

**Detroit, Michigan**

Cody Wilson, the Rockin' Renegade, streaked through the skies of Detroit, a scowl on his face. Unlike the superhero that inspired him, Kid Razor, Renegade was in a far from jovial mood. In fact, he was ticked off.

_Stupid arrogant hifalutin' blue-plated jackass..._Renegade's scowl deepened. _Acting like he's the Renegade's mama, tryin' to tell the Renegade what to do, the Renegade don't need that crap..._He looked down and saw Sonic Blue zipping his way through the jungle of cars that covered the Detroit street below him. Renegade muttered under his breath. _And now that monkey-spanker is following the Renegade around like he's some lost puppy or something. Man, this sucks. This punk comes from big bad Cincinnati and tries to tell me what to do! What is his problem?_ Meanwhile, Sonic Blue was caught in his own thoughts.

_Man, what in the name of everything holy was Razor **thinking** when he said that Detroit was in good hands with this lunatic?_ Spencer sighed. _Razor must've been too busy thinking up new jokes to crack about Paige Guthrie and the Wild West._ He looked up at the Renegade. _He's not a bad kid. He's got the potential. The problem is, he's too intent on doing things his own way. He thinks he's doing things right. And when some thinks they're doing something right, they aren't open to suggestions. Ah well, better try to talk to him again..._ When the Iron Speedster saw an opportunity, he raced up the side of the building, and used his speed to jump from building rooftop to building rooftop. "Renegade! _Renegade!_" Spencer called. The living Power of Rock battery blinked as he turned his head.

"Yeah, whadda you want? You got anything better to do than bother me and follow me around like some lost dog or something?"

"Come on down!" Spencer smiled and waved. "I want to talk to you." Renegade thought about it for a moment.

"Ah, well." The blond teenager shrugged. "Might as well hear what this moron has to say." The African-American hero flew back towards the roof that Spencer was standing on. "Make it quick,bozo."

"Alright, alright." Spencer nodded. "Look here, Renegade. I'm sorry if I'm making you feel incompetent or anything. It's just I think your technique could use some improvement, that's all."

"Improvement, huh?" Renegade frowned. "Whaddaya mean?"

"Well, you...how do I describe this?" Spencer paced up and down, struggling to find the words. "...You...you...you...you push things too hard...I think."

"Oh, God..." Renegade groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Renegade, I know you think you're doing things right, but I just want to help give you some ideas to do a better job." Spencer explained. _Yeah, why didn't I do it this way before?_ "After all, even the best of us always have room for improvement." Renegade raised an eyebrow.

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Sometimes, the best way to solve a problem is by using your head, Renegade." Spencer explained. "Superheroism isn't all about punching the bad guy's jaw to powder or blowing up the evil machine. Quite a lot of times, one has to think. Look at Captain America."

"Captain America. He's the guy who leads those Avenger clowns, right?" Renegade frowned.

"Yeah, that's him." Spencer nodded.

"The Renegade's surprised that old relic hasn't started ranting and raving about 'those damn kids and their damned newfangled skateboards' yet!" Renegade snickered.

_Just like Razor, has this weird thing about taking potshots at Cap's age._ Spencer rolled his eyes. Renegade continued talking.

"But if there's anything that the Renegade likes about the Avengers, it's the women." Renegade snickered. "I mean, come on! You ever seen the Scarlet Witch in that gypsy costume of hers? The one that looked like a bald Puerto-Rican guy in a Hawaiian shirt designed?" Renegade laughed. "Man, the Renegade would like to help her lose that costume, heh heh." **(1)**

"I never noticed." Spencer shrugged. Renegade's jaw dropped.

"You're kidding! What's wrong with you?"

"I have a girlfriend, that's what." Spencer explained. Renegade blinked.

"You mean there's a woman out there who wants to be with _you?_" The Power-of-Rock-charged teenager blinked. "She must be either high, ugly, desperate, stupid, or a combination. I mean, you're a nerd! Why would a woman want to date a nerd like you?"

"Because some women like brains." Spencer crossed his arms. _Razor said something like that as well when he found out I had a crush on Hannah._ "And she's none of that."

"Then maybe you're imagining her." Renegade smirked. "I mean, why would women want to be with you? You're a goofball nerd in armor. Without that fancy armor, you ain't nothin' but a basement-dwelling, Dungeons and Dragons-worshipping, socially lifeless geek."

"I _don't_ live in my basement." Spencer grunted. "And I don't like Dungeons and Dragons. And contrary to your belief, I do have a social life. In fact, I'm on my school's track team. I'm one of their best runners." Renegade laughed.

"Got plenty of practice running from the jocks, huh?"

"Actually, no. One of my best friends is on the football team." Spencer explained. "He and I became friends when I started tutoring him." He frowned. "Renegade, you don't know me. I didn't appreciate you saying that I had no social life because I was smart."

"And you don't know me." Renegade scowled. "So I didn't appreciate you comin' here and saying I was a screw-up simply because I didn't beat up the bad guys your way."

"Yeah, but I never made insinuations about _you._" Spencer countered. "I was just stating fact."

"Here's a fact for you: I am the Renegade, and the Renegade doesn't appreciate people ragging on him about his style of stoppin' the bad guys! You do it your way, and I'll do it mine!" Renegade flew off. Spencer sighed and chased after him.

**A park in Detroit**

A little kid was playing in a sandbox when he heard rumbling. He looked up from his sandcastle when he saw three large robotic dogs with diamond-like skin race by. The lead dog had on a golden Roman-style helmet. The kid blinked as the dogs ran by, and after a moment, he got up and ran off.

"MAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAA!"

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 6** Sonic Blue and the Renegade encounter the Diamond Dogs!_

**(1) – Reference to George Perez, a legendary comic artist. He's known for wearing Hawaiian shirts.**


	76. Diamond Dogs, Part 6

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "You gonna eat that?" - Brian, _Family Guy_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts –** Kid Razor has a talent for imitating voices. One time, he ordered 500 pizzas to the Avengers Mansion disguising his voice as Captain America. He then blamed the Human Torch on it._

--

_**Chapter 76: Diamond Dogs, Part 6**_

**The Australian Outback**

"Urrrrrrrrrrr...uhhhhhhh..." The beaten kangaroo monster moaned as it laid on the ground, face-up. The Avengers and Kid Razor stood around.

"_Now_ is it dead?" Squirrel Girl moaned.

"Nah." Kid Razor smirked, giving the monster a kick, making the kangaroo monster whimper a little bit. "Heh. This was more fun than watching DX poke fun at the McMahons."

"I must admit, Razor...you were a big help." Captain America smiled, holding out a hand to the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll. The Fearless One shook it.

"Meh." Razor shrugged. "The Kid of Rock was bored." He looked at the kangaroo monster. "Yeah! You know who the man is, don't you, boy?" The monster groaned. "WHAT'S MY NAME?!" Razor yelled at it. A printout emerged from the side of the monster. Razor took the paper and read it. "'You're Kid Razor. You're Kid Razor. You're the Duke. You're the Duke. You're the Duke of Cleveland. A number One, that's you." Razor snickered. "Heh heh, yeah." **(1)**

"Oh, brother." The Black Cat groaned, rubbing bridge of nose. "If I ever have kids, I hope to God that none of them looks up to him."

"...You're still ticked off about that thing he said about you on Jay Leno, aren't you?" Spidey deduced.

"Oh, yeah." The platinum blonde ex-cat burglar nodded.

"What did he say?" Squirrel Girl blinked.

"Trust me kid. You do not want to know." Black Cat waved it away.

"Hey uh, what do we do with this thing?" Wonder Man asked nobody in particular. He was holding Ms. Marvel across her waist, one arm over his shoulders. "It's not like we can just shove this thing in Ryker's Island."

"Call Thor." Razor suggested jokingly. "Maybe they got a zoo in Asgard we can dump this sucker in, heh heh."

"Do you have a smart-mouthed response to everything?" The Scarlet Witch frowned. Razor smirked at the mutant sorceress as he pulled his glasses down his nose slightly, revealing his playful green eyes.

"Would you look great in _Playboy?_" Razor teased.

"Well..." Wasp looked at the kangaroo monster and scratched her head. "This did happen on Australian soil. Maybe we should let the Australians decide what to do with it."

"They'd probably eat it or something." Razor rolled his eyes. "Or dump it in a zoo or something stupid like that."

"I don't think it's stupid, Razor." Wasp countered. "Maybe we should take it to an animal hospital or something like that."

"I'll call SHIELD. They'll know what to do with it." Cap told the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll.

"SHIELD has a division for dealing with oversized cyborg animals?" Razor blinked.

"You'd be surprised what SHIELD can deal with." Cap told Razor.

"Hey uh, can you also have Fury deal with this problem the Kid of Rock has?" Razor scratched the back of his blond-maned head. "You see, the Kid of Rock has this library book that's three months overdue...you see, the Kid of Rock got this book and he forgot all about it..."

"Oh..." Carol Danvers moaned, taking her head in her free hand. "What happened? Everybody okay? Did we win?"

"We won, Carol." Wonder Man grinned. "We got the monster beaten."

"Hooray..." Carol started to whoop. "Ow..." She held her head. "My head...what happened?"

"You absorbed a power beam from the kangaroo's eyes..." Cap started to explain.

"Yeah..." Razor snickered. "And then you took that energy and blasted the hell outta that kangaroo! But your cute little red-sashed blonde behind got caught in the explosion, and it made you silly for a while." Razor started to laugh. "You actually yapped about baking cookies!"

"Oh, God..." Carol groaned. "Let me guess, Razor. You're going to rib me about that, right?"

"Oh, yeah." Razor grinned. "Along with the ribbing about your nicely-developed..."

"One more word boy, and I will smack you so hard, you'll wake up in 2099!" Carol warned.

"Why don't you do it now? It'll be funny." Wanda grinned.

"Ahhhh, go read some tarot cards, Witchie." Razor grumbled as he walked away. Wanda stuck out her tongue.

"Nyeah!" Razor grumbled and whipped out a cell phone. He dialed a number and waited for an answer.

"Yeah, hello? Sal and John's Pizza." A New York-accented voice answered. **(2)**

"Yeah..." Razor answered, altering his voice to match that of Ben Grimm, the Ever-Lovin' Blue-Eyed Thing. Wonder Man sighed.

"Guy's at it again." The ionic-powered movie star sighed.

"Yeah, I want 300 large pizzas, extra cheese. Deliver them the front door of the Baxter Building. Ask fer Roberta. Alright, thank you." Razor snickered as he shut off the cell phone. "Heh heh, I can't wait to see the look on those four clowns' faces."

**Detroit, Michigan**

"ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" A roar pierced its way through the air of Detroit's Midtown neighborhood.

"Run!" A bystander screamed, pointing at the source of the roar. All who heard it ran for their lives.

"Help us!"

"Call the cops!"

"Save us! Save us!"

"WHY GOD WHY?!"

"WE ALL GONNA DIE!" A street preacher screamed before running facefirst into a street pole.

"Tom, the streets of Detroit's Midtown neighborhood are in chaos!" A beautiful Hispanic woman in a pink business suit told a cameraman. And true to her description, the streets of Detroit were in chaos. A trio of large diamond-skinned cybernetic dogs started ripping up the Midtown area. "What has been described as three large dogs, with skin like diamonds, raced into town and started tearing up the area." A high-pitched whine was heard as Sonic Blue raced up to the scene, followed in the air by the Renegade. "And look! Up in the sky! It's our city's own rookie superhero, the Renegade! And it appears he has Sonic Blue, one of Cincinnati's own superheroes, with him. The reason for Sonic Blue's presence is unknown. Perhaps we can get ourselves an interview with him afterwards."

"Whoa!" Spencer exclaimed as he skidded to a stop. "By God!"

"Ho-lee-!" Renegade's jaw dropped as he stopped into a hover. "What the hell are those things?"

"Not normal, that's what." Spencer frowned. He pressed his fingers to the side of his visor.

"The hell are you doing?" Renegade frowned.

"Scanning them." Spencer explained. "I like to know as much as I can about what I'm facing before I throw a punch."

"Man, all I need to know is those things are wreckin' Midtown, and now the Renegade is gonna wreck _them!_" Renegade yelled, blasting towards them.

"Renegade, no! Wait!" Spencer exclaimed, reaching for him. "Those things! You can't face 'em this way! Renegade!"

"Alright,you over-grown bastard child of a jewelry shop and a junkyard!" Renegade roared as he cocked his fist back, heading for the lead dog. The fist started to glow with rainbow-colored energy. "You're a bad dog! Time for some discipline! HEAVY METAL PUNCH!" Renegade threw a mighty blow, fueled by a combination of his own great strength and the Power of Rock. The fist hit the dog right between the eyes. Upon impact, the blow created a mighty sound like a gunshot wound through an amplifier. The blow sent a shockwave flying from the point of impact. "WHAT?!"

"_GRRRRRRRRR..._" The robotic dog snarled.

"Renegade! Spencer yelled. "Get out of there! Those monsters are mechanical!"

"So?" Renegade scowled.

"I scanned them! Their skins' molecular structure is similar to that of diamond!"

"_Diamond?_" Renegade blinked. "Like that stuff that the blonde X-Chick with those fantastic jugs can turn into?"

"Yes..." Spencer sighed, shaking his head. "Diamond is one of the hardest substances in existence! It was able to withstand your punch!"

"But I hit it with a Heavy Metal Punch!" Renegade exclaimed.

"The facets redirect energy, Renegade! The Power of Rock is mystical in nature, but it's still energy!" Spencer exclaimed. "It's still subject to physics!" Watching this from a rooftop was the mad Dr. Bonham and the Boomerang.

"Bloody hell..." Boomerang blinked. "I must say, Doc. I'm impressed. I think you got the Renegade vexed."

"Yes..." Dr. Bonham giggled madly. "I got him vexed, don't I?"

"...Are you sure your Diamond Dogs can handle it?" Boomerang frowned. "I saw Sonic Blue there with him. Unlike Renegade, Sonic Blue is no dummy. If your dogs have a weak spot, he'll find it, and he'll exploit it."

"Ah, let him try!" Dr. Bonham laughed. "He can't do a thing."

_I'm not so sure about that..._ Boomerang grunted mentally. _I'd better get me butt down there and try to shut Sonic Blue down._

"La-da-deeeeeeeeeeeee..." Dr. Bonham sang to himself. "I'm gonna get me some Renegaaaade..."

"...Idiot..." Boomerang shook his head.

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 7** Boomerang joins the brawl!_

**(1) – A nod to the movie _Escape from New York_. Isaac Hayes's character in that film was called the Duke of New York. Appropriately, Razor would consider himself the Duke of Cleveland.**

**(2) – A nod to legendary Marvel artists "Our Pal Sal" Buscema, and his brother, the late John Buscema.**


	77. Diamond Dogs, Part 7

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

_**Local Hero Facts –** Kid Razor is a master at imitating voices. Naturally, he uses that talent for pranks._

--

_**Chapter 77: Diamond Dogs, Part 7**_

**The Baxter Building, New York City**

Johnny Storm and Benjamin Grimm, the Fantastic Four members known respectively as the Human Torch and the Thing, were settling one of their infamous arguments. Ben was in his human form. **(1)** He and Johnny were sitting at a table, glaring at each other.

"I cannot believe you two want to settle this stupid argument this way." Sue Richards, the Invisible Woman, shook her head with a sigh. "This is kind of stupid."

"Hey, if this'll prove to the Bic-Head that I am right, then I'll do it!" Ben told the blonde.

"You're wrong, Quarry Man! And I'll prove it!" Johnny snapped back. "Bring 'em out, big sister!" Sue sighed and put two large bowls full of hamburgers in front of them.

"Okay..." Sue reluctantly set an egg-timer to one hour, and then placed it on the table. "Whoever eats the most burgers in one hour will win." She announced without much passion in her voice. She really thought this was stupid. _Johnny's had some dumb ideas, but this one is the dumbest._ "And begin." She watched with a frown as her little brother and the godfather of her children tore into their burgers and tried to shoot trash talk at each other. "You know, you two geniuses could at least try not to talk with your mouths full. I ain't going to help either one of you if you guys start choking." She heard an intercom buzz. The blonde woman walked over to it and pressed the talk button.

"Hello?" She inquired.

"Hello, Mrs. Richards." The chirpy voice of Roberta could be heard greeting. Roberta was the FF's secretary. However, Roberta was no ordinary woman. She was actually a robot. "I have something for Mr. Grimm. There is someone in the lobby who wishes to speak to him."

"Really?" Sue blinked. The Invisible Woman turned to the brown-haired test pilot. "Hey, Ben! Roberta said that there's someone out in the lobby who wants to talk to you."

"Hm?" Ben and Johnny looked at each other.

"Hey Rocky, did you order more of those airplane models from eBay again?" Johnny teased.

"Whut? I like building 'em." Ben blinked. "I just finished building this nice P-38 Warthog. I just have ta paint it."

"What should I do, Mrs. Richards?" Roberta asked.

"...Tell him we'll be right down." Sue answered. The three core members of the Fantastic Four went down to the lobby of the Baxter Building. When the three veteran superheroes arrived. They were in for quite a shock. Standing in the lobby was a pizza boy dressed in a green-and-red uniform, standing in front of several large stacks of pizza boxes. "Huh?!"

"Whut the hell?" Ben groaned.

"...Is Valeria having another sleepover?" Johnny blinked. The pizza boy then noticed Ben.

"Mr. Grimm! Mr. Grimm!" He ran up to the veteran pilot. "Here's the pizzas you ordered!"

"...Pizzas?" Ben repeated.

"...Yeah...remember?" The pizza boy blinked, looking at Ben like he had lost his mind. "You ordered 300 pizzas? Extra cheese? You know how long it took to make these? That's a lot of pizza! What're you doing, having some kind of party or something?" Johnny gaped. "Man, I needed a couple of dump trucks to get these things here!"

"Oh, man!" He grinned. "Look at all those pizzas! We'll be set for a year! Two, even! Let's dig in!"

"Hold it, Johnny." Sue held her brother back. "Kid, who sent you?"

"...Sal and John's Pizza. It's where I work."

"Oh, they got good cannoli there, too." Ben nodded.

"Uh, is anyone gonna pay for these pizzas?" The pizza boy blinked. "I got other deliveries to make."

"...How much?" Sue groaned, dreading the number.

"...Three thousand dollars." The pizza boy responded. "Plus tax."

"WHAT?!" Sue exclaimed.

"Wait a minute, I didn't even order those pizzas!" Ben exclaimed.

"Yeah, you did." The pizza boy responded. "Sounded just like you. Said you wanted the pizzas to be delivered to the Baxter Building and to ask for Roberta."

"Wait..." Ben narrowed his eyes. "You said he sounded just like me?" The pizza boy nodded. Ben then put it together. "Oh, that little sonova..."

"Don't tell me..." Sue realized.

"Oh, God..." Johnny groaned.

"Yeah." Ben scowled. "That little guitar-picking punk was at it again!"

"Wait...does that mean I was used or something?" The pizza boy blinked.

"Maybe if we're lucky, the Blob will come here to pick a fight, and then decide to take the pizzas." Johnny suggested hopefully.

"Who's going to pay for these?" The pizza boy wondered.

**Detroit, Michigan**

In the city known as Detroit, two of the Local Heroes were trying to fight a great evil. One was Spencer Burton, aka Sonic Blue, the Iron Speedster. The local hero of Cincinnati, the teenage genius fought evil with his wits and a mighty blue-and-silver armor that allowed him to move and run at amazing speed as well as fire blasts of blue sonic energy. One was Detroit's Local Hero, the rockin' Renegade. Real name Cody Wilson, Renegade was a mutant with the ability to access the Power of Rock, the enchanted musical energy that empowered Cleveland's own Kid Razor. And the two of them were in for the fight of their lives.

"This is Andrea Lopez, Channel 9 News!" The Hispanic pink suit-wearing reporter announced into her microphone as she watched the fight, being careful not to get herself caught in the fight's crossfire. "If you just joined us, we are witnessing a classic super-brawl! It appears that the Renegade has joined forces with Cincinnati's own Sonic Blue. The two of them are fighting what appears to be a trio of large mechanical animals, likely canine in appearance."

"The Diamond Dogs! They're called Diamond Dogs, you scatterbrained chatterbox!" She heard Doctor Bonham faintly scream at her.

"Uh...I see...well, according to that lunatic's scream, they are called the Diamond Dogs." Andrea blinked.

"I am not a lunatic! I am a scientist!" Doctor Bonham screamed. "...Hey, uh...you look good in that skirt. You doing anything Saturday?"

"Uh..." Andrea blinked again. "Is this guy alright?"

"Hey!" Renegade yelled at Dr. Bonham. "The Renegade remembers you! From that crap back at the mall! **(2)** About time I brought your candy ass downtown to Chinatown, baby!" The fearless teenager streaked towards the mad scientist and his boomerang-throwing compadre.

"Uh, the little galah wants to play, huh?" Boomerang smirked evilly, unsheathing a boomerang. "Come and get it, little man!"

"Relax, Boomerang." Doctor Bonham smirked. "Look!" Renegade heard a roar, and saw one of the Dogs leaping towards him, getting ready to bite the young African-American mutant's head off! Renegade quickly cursed and expanded his aura into a spherical forcefield. The Diamond Dog bit into the field and tried to close its jaw, but the monster found itself unable to close its jaw completely. The aura was blocking it!

"Uhn!" Renegade grunted, sweating beading on his painted brow. The young hero strained to maintain his forcefield and avoid being crushed to death. Meanwhile, Sonic Blue was having as much luck as Renegade in fighting the dogs.

"Crud!" Spencer grumbled. He ripped a street lamp from the ground and tried to bat one of the Diamond Dogs back. It wasn't working too well. "Aw crud. Why did I try that stupid idea? I _must_ be desperate." He noticed Renegade struggling not to get bitten in half by one of the Diamond Dogs. "Hang on, Renegade! I'm coming!" Spencer tried to zip to his ally's aid, but several boomerangs hit the ground in front of him, exploding and knocking Spencer back. "Hey!"

"Hello, Sonic Blue." Boomerang greeted. "How're things doing?"

"They'll be a lot better once you are back behind bars." Spencer grumbled. "And in case you haven't noticed, Renegade and I are busy getting our butts whipped by these robotic diamond-skinned dogs, so if you don't mind, I'll just tie you up quick and help out Renegade. Thank you!" Spencer fired a net from his gauntlets, but...

"I don't think so!" Boomerang whipped out a pair of sharp-edged boomerangs and sliced the net to pieces before it could entrap him. "Nice try."

"Well, there goes that plan. What're you doing here?" Spencer wondered.

"Didn't you wonder why I was after that jewel back in Cincinnati?" Boomerang smirked. "Oh, wait. I know you, so you would be wondering. Well, I was paid to steal it. Docotr Bonham was me benefactor."

"I can guess." Spencer nodded. "And I can also guess that these Diamond Dogs and that diamond are connected."

"You got it, kiddo." Boomerang nodded. "There's a connection. Too bad you'll never figure it out."

"That's what every evil genius says to me about their schemes. But I always figure it out, and I always manage to put a monkey wrench or two in the works." Spencer warned.

"Agh! Get offa the Renegade, you jeweled mutt!" Renegade cussed and swore as he pounded at the jaws of the Diamond Dog that was trying to bite him. "I don't give a damn if PETA gets on my back! The Renegade will beat you into next year! Get off!" Renegade created a large rolled up newspaper construct out of the Power of Rock, and started whacking the Dog in the head with it. "Bad dog! Bad dog! The Renegade was always a cat person anyway!"

"Well, Sonic Blue..." Boomerang whipped out a boomerang. "Shall we dance?"

"You know, I always found you funny, Myers." Spencer smirked. "You're a _low_ life who enjoys the _high_ life." The ex-baseball player frowned.

"You're no jokester. You should leave the jokes to Kid Razor."

"Funny, Razor himself says I'm improving." Spencer snickered. "Boomerang, I'm taking you down, and I'm going to put down these dogs, too."

"Yeah right! Not even Wolverine can slash apart my Diamond Dogs!" Doctor Bonham bragged, yelling into a megaphone. Spencer glared at the mad scientist.

"Adamantium _can_ scratch diamond, you twit!" He snapped.

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 8** Sonic Blue fights desperately to stop Boomerang and save Renegade from going in over his head!_

**(1) – In "Uncanny Fantastic Four", Ben Grimm gained the ability to shift back and forth between his human and Thing forms at will after a battle with Diablo.**

**(2) – During the "Detroit Rock City" storyline, the Kid Razor/XSE teamup that debuted the Renegade.**


	78. Diamond Dogs, Part 8

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

_**Local Hero Facts –** Both Kid Razor and Sonic Blue hold honorary memberships in the Avengers. _

--

**Disclaimer: "I love you guys." - Eric Cartman, _South Park_**

_**Chapter 78: Diamond Dogs, Part 8**_

**Avengers Mansion**

"I can't believe him!" Carol Danvers, aka Ms. Marvel, yelled out. The blonde ex-USAF officer was standing in the hangar where the Avengers kept their Quinjets. "I can't believe that little punk!"

"Hey, Miss Danvers. What's going on?" A young voice inquired. The blonde energy-absorber turned around and saw a concerned Doreen Green, aka Squirrel Girl, walk up to her. Squirrel Girl was one of the Avengers' newest recruits. She had rodent-based abilities, and there were a lot of rumors swirling about her being able to defeat A-List supervillains. On her shoulder was her best friend, her squirrel Tippy-Toe.

"Squee-chk-chk." Tippy-Toe greeted with a wave.

"Hey." Carol greeted back. "Look at what he did!"

"Look at what who did?" Doreen blinked.

"That!" Carol pointed at the side of the Quinjet. Doreen noticed the graffiti on the side of the jet.

"Chk-chk." Tippy-Toe commented.

"Three guesses who did that." Carol grumbled.

"Well..." Doreen scratched the back of her head. "Can it be washed off?"

"Well, yeah." Carol admitted. 'Thankfully, that damn magic paint Razor sprays isn't permanent."

"Why does he do this stuff?" Doreen sighed. "He's a superhero, isn't he?"

"He is, but he gets bored very easily." Carol sighed. "And when he gets bored, he tries to make his own amusement. Unfortunately, that usually ends up resulting in Razor finding or making trouble."

"...Isn't that considered vandalism?" Squirrel Girl noted, pointing at the graffiti.

"Technically, yeah. But Razor won't care." Carol sighed. "...you wanna give me a hand in washing this stuff off?"

"Okay." Doreen nodded.

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"BWAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!" Kid Razor cackled madly as he streaked across the Cleveland skyline.

"What'd you do now, Razor?" Ronnie Rocker sighed as he appeared next to Razor.

"Oh, hey Ronnie!" Razor grinned. "Where ya been, pal? You missed the big fight! Me and the Avengers versus Giant Cyborg Monster Kangaroo! It was great! Ms. Marvel got silly!"

"You wouldn't believe where I was?" Ronnie groaned.

"Try the Kid of Rock." Razor rolled his eyes.

"I was playing poker with Randy Rhoads and John Lennon." Ronnie explained.

"Hey, how are they doing, anyway?" Razor wondered.

"Razor, can I give you some advice?" Ronnie asked. Razor shrugged.

"You give me advice even when I don't want it." Razor answered. "Sure."

"Never. _Ever._ Play poker with John Lennon and Randy Rhoads." Ronnie grumbled. "They are a pair of devious sons-of-guns at the poker table."

"Aie." Razor winced. "Who would've thought that a man known for singing about giving peace a chance would be a monster at the poker table?"

"Oh yeah." Ronnie grumbled. "Thanks to Lennon alone, I got fleeced out of five thousand bucks. We also had to break up a fight between Keith Moon and Jim Morrison."

"Oh, man...what'd that madman do now?" Razor groaned.

"Don't ask me where Keith gets his sense of logic, but he and Jim were watching the game, and Keith compared my poker playing to Jim's mother's face." Ronnie explained.

"Huh?" Razor blinked in confusion. "That don't make any sense!"

"As I said Razor, don't ask me where Keith gets his sense of logic." Ronnie sighed. "Jim punched him out, and the fight began."

"Huh." Razor snickered. "Didn't you tell the Kid of Rock that Morrison had a surprisingly mean left hook?" Ronnie nodded.

"Oh yeah. He's got one mean hook." Ronnie nodded. "So...giant mutant kangaroo?"

"Yeah..." Razor shook is head. "It's kind of a long story."

"I got time." Ronnie shrugged.

"...During the fight, Ms. Marvel got knocked silly. She started yapping about baking cookies!" Razor laughed. Ronnie chuckled.

"Wow. I can't see Ms. Marvel baking things." Ronnie chuckled.

"Airplane-shaped cookies, maybe." Razor suggested. "She'd make those."

"Yeah, she probably would." Ronnie shrugged.

**Detroit, Michigan**

"Okay, so tell me about yourself." Andrea Lopez told her guest. The pink suit-wearing Hispanic reporter was sitting on the roof of the building, holding a notepad. Sitting across from her was grinning Doctor Bonham.

"Well my name is Doctor Wally Bonham." The mad scientist introduced himself. "I am a scientist, a world traveler, and lover of many, many beautiful women."

"Yeah, right!" Renegade could be heard laughing. "The Renegade wouldn't be surprised if you were still a-!"

"ROAAAAAAR!" One of the Diamond Dogs roared.

"Agh! Get off the Renegade, you mutt!"

"You shut up! You don't know me!" Doctor Bonham yelled back as the Diamond Dogs leapt at a cursing and screaming Renegade.

"Agh! Get the off me!" Renegade yelled.

"Anyway..." Doctor Bonham continued. "I am a scientific marvel. I'm a bit of polymath."

"A polymath?" Andrea blinked.

"Yes, a polymath. A Renaissance Man." Doctor Bonham clarified.

"Ah, I see." Andrea nodded. "You can do a little bit of everything."

"A jack-of-all-trades, that's me." Doctor Bonham grinned proudly. "The Power of Rock has piqued my interest very much."

"But, isn't the Power of Rock a magical thing?" Andrea blinked.

"Yes, but I do believe that magic is just another form of science that no one's ever tried to understand yet." Doctor Bonham explained.

"Well, I once did an interview with Tony Stark..." Andrea remembered, tapping her chin with her pencil. "And when I asked him about his time with the Avengers, he told me about the time Morgan le Fay restructured reality into a medieval world, and it really cemented his dislike of magic." **(1)**

"Ah well." Bonham shrugged. "Stark needs to open his mind more. He's worked with magicians in the Avengers." Meanwhile, as Doctor Bonham ran his mouth, a second battle was raging below.

_Kablam! Kablam! Kablam!_

_FWEEEEEEEEEE!_

_Kablam! Kablam! Kablam!_

"Hold still, you little plonker!" Boomerang yelled, pitching more explosive boomerangs at the speeding Sonic Blue. The Iron Speedster was running rings around the Australian mercenary. He was running so fast, it looked a blue ring was surrounding Boomerang. "I gotta hit ya sometime!"

"Personally, I'd prefer never." Sonic Blue remarked as he continued speeding around the purple-and-blue-clad merc. _Come on, come on...He's gotta run out of boomerangs at some point._

"Hey kiddie, I got a new boomerang you'll love!" Boomerang smirked.

"Oh, this I gotta hear." Spencer snickered. "What is it? A laughing gas boomerang? A jack-in-the-box boomerang? A horse boomerang?"

"You've been hanging around that clown Kid Razor too long, boy." Boomerang scowled.

"I dunno. My joke-telling's gotten a lot better thanks to him." Spencer snickered.

"Well, let's see you joke your way past me new tracker boomerang!" Boomerang smirked. "Yah!" He pitched the boomerang, a silver boomerang with a thick red stripe on each arm. _Heh. Myers, you're a bloody genius, man. All this time, I've tried to predict what the kid does, when I could've simply just created a boomerang that would actually follow it._ Spencer managed to dodge the boomerang.

"Nice try, Myers." Spencer complimented. "You plan to throw rabbits from your hat at me next?"

"I'd turn around if I were you." Boomerang smirked. Spencer cocked his head.

"Huh?" The young genius turned around and saw the boomerang was flying right back at him. "Aw, you gotta be kidding!"

"Don't try to dodge it, boy!" Boomerang laughed. "It's a tracker! It'll follow you!"

"You're kidding, right?" Spencer scowled. "All I have to do is outrun it!" The Iron Speedster zipped away, and the tracking boomerang followed him around the battle site.

"Good luck, kid!" Boomerang laughed. "That thing is designed to keep up with you! I've learned a lot from our battles!"

"One of my rogues learning something. That's a laugh." Spencer muttered. Out of curiosity, the young genius turned his head and saw that Boomerang's proclamation was accurate: the boomerang, amazingly, was not only following Spencer, it was _keeping up_ with him! "Oh, my God!"

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 9** The brawl continues!_

**(1) – In the classic "Morgan Conquest" storyline in _Avengers._ Ironically enough, in that altered reality, Tony Stark/Iron Man wore enchanted armor. **


	79. Diamond Dogs, Part 9

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

--

_**Local Hero Facts – **Kid Razor can store objects in the "pocket dimension" the Power of Rock exists in. It's often where he stores objects he needs like his magical spray paint can and mike stand, or things that catch his fancy, like a jester hat he likes._

--

**Disclaimer: "Hey ladies, I don't want to come between you...or do I?" - Glenn Quagmire, _Family Guy_**

_**Chapter 79: Diamond Dogs, Part 9**_

**San Francisco, California**

"_I wanna rock toniiiiiiiiiight! Too right!_" A voice sang out loud in a club. It was a rock club in San Francisco, California. And one of its most famous residents was sitting in a booth in the club.

She was an athletic young woman, around 17 years in age. She was clad in a pink t-shirt and jeans. The girl had short dark hair that came down to her chin. Unusually, her skin was grey, and she had black spots along her temples and the front of her ears. She took a sip of her soda, revealing that her hands were slightly webbed, and her eyes were yellow. She was born Rachel Wilson-Velasquez, but to San Francisco, she was their local superhero, the water-dwelling Barracuda. **(1)**

Rachel was a mutant. She was born with her physical features and ability to breathe in air and water. Her powers started to emerge in her teenage years. Rachel was a natural swimmer, and naturally, she had such powerful leg muscles, she could swim in excess of 50 miles per hour, and on land, she could make powerful leaps. She had great strength and durability, thanks to her body's ability to handle the harsh conditions of oceans. Also, temperature didn't bother her as much as normal humans did, again thanks to her body's ability to withstand harsh ocean conditions. Finally, she had the ability to psionically control water and moisture, which allowed her to

The young mutant sat in the club,and she just wanted to have a nice quiet night hanging out. She had nothing else to do tonight. Her parents didn't need her to help out at the aquarium, and all was strangely quiet on the bad-guy beating front. However, her night was about to be interrupted.

"Thank you! Thank you!" The singer cheered as he took a bow and left the stage with his bandmates. The host of the show, a man dressed like Crockett from _Miami Vice,_ took the stage.

"Thank you! And that was our second contestant, the Tommies, with their cover of Def Leppard's 'Let It Go'! Let's give 'em a hand!" The host called the club patrons to cheer. Rachel chuckled.

"Obviously, that guy watched too much _Miami Vice_, heh heh." The gray-skinned mutant teen chuckled. "Ah, it's been a quiet night. I'd better get myself home before my parents start to worry about me." The young woman started to get up, when...

_**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!**_

_**CRASH!**_

The front of the club exploded, sending patrons screaming and fleeing towards the back.

"Madre de Dios!" She exclaimed. The figure who burst in stood towards the light. It was a large yellow robotic being, around a house's story in height. It was decorated with white-and-black diagonal-striped highlights. The head of the robot looked like it had a hard hat on its head. On its back appeared to be a smaller version of the mixers found on cement trucks. Also on its back was a crane arm, complete with a hook and line. Rachel blinked.

"Crush! Kill! Destroy!" The robot exclaimed in a monotone. It raised it large black fists and hit the ground with a double-fisted hammer blow, with a _THOOM!_ The shockwave knocked Rachel towards the stage.

"Oof!" She grunted as she hit the back of the stage. However, the young heroine was a tough girl. The blow hardly hurt her. She scowled at the large yellow robot as she got up.

"Alright, I was hoping for a quiet night. Thanks to you, I don't get to have that. Now you shall feel the fury of the Barracuda!" Rachel yelled. Her hands and eyes started to glow blue. Swirling balls of water formed in her hands, thanks to Rachel drawing on the moisture in the air. With a cry, she thrust her hands forward, firing two powerful streams of water at the robot. The robot got blasted slightly backwards, collapsing into the street. Rachel pulled a dark blue skullcap out of her pocket with a fin on it. She put the cap on her head, then threw off her shirt, jeans, and shoes, revealing her costume underneath: A dark blue one-piece swimsuit with a green stripe running down the center. She was also barefoot. The Hispanic heroine ran outside, as the robot was getting up.

"Crush! Kill! Destroy!" The robot grumbled. A long arm emerged from the robot's back. It went upwards and fell over the robot's right shoulder. It was a crane arm, complete with hook. "Crush! Kill! Destroy!" The robot whipped the hook around, trying to take Barracuda's head off.

"Yi!" The young woman exclaimed as she rolled out of the way. However, two twin dark blue laser beams hit the robot in the chest, causing it to look up. The source of the beams was a certain armored teenager armed with a jetpack and metal wings.

"Yo, Skyhook!" Jeffrey Dutt, the high-flying local hero of Seattle known as Winger called. His blasters smoked. "Why don't you face the King of the Skies like a man?"

"Subject: Winger." The robot nodded. Skyhook was an old enemy of Winger's. He was an experimental robot that was created by a construction company to help reduce the toll of the workforce. However, a disgruntled construction worker, fearing that the robot would cause the loss of jobs, secretly reprogrammed the robot (blessing the ease of usage of computer technology) to screw up. Unfotunately, the reprogramming screwed up, and Skyhook became a mindless engine of destruction. "Crush! Kill! Destroy!"

"Winger!" Barracuda grinned.

"Crush! Kill! Destroy!" Skyhook swung its crane hook at Winger. However, the aerial hero was easily able to dodge it. The Seattle hero then grinned and waved at Barracuda.

"Hey yo, Fish-girl!" Winger grinned. Rachel smiled.

"Well, I guess it's obvious what brought you here to Frisco." Barracuda smirked, crossing her arms. Winger grinned.

"Ah, you know me. A little chillin', a little chick-chasing, and a little ass-kickin'."

**Detroit, Michigan**

Spencer Burton, the fearless young hero known as Sonic Blue, was in quite a jam. He was being pursed by a special boomerang.

"Well, I gotta give it to Myers." Spencer winced. "He always has a new trick up his sleeve." He took a hard turn to the right, but the boomerang still followed him. "Well, that didn't work."

"Keep trying, boy!" Myers laughed. "That pursuer boomerang will catch up to you at some point! I know you have a speed limit! And that armor's gotta run out of power at some point!"

_Well, you'd have to give up if you're waiting for my armor's power supply to run out._ Spencer smirked to himself. _The batteries in the outfit are very efficient, and I can draw power from various sources if I need a recharge._ He looked over at Renegade, who was fighting valiantly against the Diamond Dogs. _Crud! Renegade'll get killed if I don't help him out! But I gotta find a way to get rid of this stupid boomerang...Maybe I can kill two birds with one stone..._ Spencer turned and raced towards the battle. Meanwhile, Andrea Lopez was still interviewing Doctor Bonham.

"So tell us, doctor..." She scribbled in her notepad. "Why are you after the Renegade?"

"My interest in him is purely scientific." Doctor Bonham explained. "You see, the Power of Rock is a magical force, yet that braggart Renegade claims he is a mutant."

"So, you're trying to figure out how a mutant can use magic." Andrea deduced.

"Oh yes." Bonham nodded. He noticed a furious Renegade fly towards him.

"Come 'ere, you mother-!" Renegade yelled, getting ready to fire his energy beams . "AUGH!" One of the Diamond Dogs tackled Renegade and slammed him into the ground. "Agh!"

"Yeah, alright!" Bonham cheered at the dogs. "Throw him around a bit! Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted..." He turned back to Andrea. "Yes. I'm trying to figure out how the X-factor gene, more commonly known as the X-Gene, is able to access magic."

"Is there any particular scientific reason why you are interested in asking that question?" Andrea wondered, still scribbling in her notepad. Renegade peeked up.

"Hey, lady! Could you do me a favor and get naAGH!" Andrea didn't notice.

"Well, to be honest, it's just curiosity on my part." Bonham shrugged. "But I'm very sure a good use will be found for that knowledge." Meanwhile, Sonic Blue was racing towards one of the Diamond Dogs, the pursuer boomerang flying after him.

_I hope that this works..._ Sonic Blue said to himself as he raced towards one of the Diamond Dogs. He was hoping that this plan would work. He waited until he was practically _touching_ the golden-helmeted dog known as Cerberus, and then he slid underneath it. Sonic Blue slid under the Dog. The pursuer boomerang tried to follow, but it wasn't able to turn in time, slamming into the side of Cerberus and exploding. The mighty mechanical canine monster didn't even feel it. "That took care of it." He noticed Renegade pinned under one of the dogs, trying to maintain his aura, and cursing his head off. "Hang on, Renegade!" Spencer formed what seemed to be a ball of blue energy in his hand. It was actually one of his Sonic Boomers, small energy-charged explosive devices Spencer used on occasion. He pitched the Boomer into the eye of the Dog pinning Renegade down. The Boomer exploded on contact with the Dog's eye,making the Dog roar and rear up. Taking the opportunity, Sonic Blue raced by and grabbed Renegade, taking him out of harm's way._Why didn't I think of that earlier?_ Sonic Blue placed Renegade down on the ground.

"Damn..." Renegade got to his feet, holding his head. "Those damn things are freakin' invincible."

"Not exactly." Spencer shook his head. "I managed to damage the eye of one of them. Unfortunately, not a lot can pierce that diamond armor. I have a diamond-tipped drill in my armor, but those things won't likely stay still long enough for me to pierce their armor. Adamantium can crush diamond, but it's not readily available. Even the secondary type is rare...Anti-metal won't work because diamond's molecular structure doesn't have any of the element metals in it..."

"So, let's just set 'em on fire." Renegade suggested. "The Renegade once set the mayor's desk on fire. The mayor made a policy that pissed the Renegade off."

"No go." Spencer shook his head. "Diamond's a good thermal conductor. Its melting point is 5100 Kelvin." _He did what with the mayor...Aw man...Can't worry about that now._

"5100 what? Who's Kelvin?" Renegade demanded.

"That's about 8700 degrees Fahrenheit, Renegade." Spencer explained. "We can't shock it, either. Diamond is a poor conductor of electricity."

"Let's beat the hell out of them then." Renegade snarled, angrily-clenched fists glowing.

"Don't you even remember the battle you were just in?" Spencer sighed. "Punching 'em ain't gonna do any good."

"Well, neither is using your head, as you like to say." Renegade mocked.

"There has got to be a way to beat those things." Spencer muttered to himself. "Heck, Ultron is made of adamantium, and the Avengers still manage to smash him."

"How do they do that? Sit around and make fun of him until he decides to take his own head off?" Renegade rolled his eyes.

"No." Spencer shook his head. "Ultron's Adamantium body is indestructible. However, the metal in his body is naturally very stiff. Ultron's bodies have a component called a molecular rearranger. It gives flexibility to inflexible materials..." Spencer then realized something. "That's it! Diamond is naturally inflexible! The Dogs have molecular rearrangers! They have to! Otherwise their bodies would be oversized decorations!"

_**Next: Diamond Dogs, Part 10** Sonic Blue and Renegade try to attack the Diamond Dogs' weak points, and Barracuda and Winger take on Skyhook!_

**(1) – Barracuda was inspired by the Heart song of the same name, hence the inclusion of the last name "Wilson". Also, thank Haretrigger for her first name.**


	80. Diamond Dogs, Part 10

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Wiiiiiiiiiiiinstooooooooon..."**

--

_**Local Hero Facts** – Kid Razor's name in the Shi'Ar language means "He who kicks butt and steals girlfriends.". In the Skrull language, Kid Razor's name translates to "He who cannot shut up."_

--

_**Chapter 80: Diamond Dogs, Part 10**_

**Cleveland, Ohio**

The alien princess known as Ramada was sitting on a skyscraper's roof, sipping a chocolate shake. Hovering next to her was Altoc, her loyal companion. He was shiny floating ball, which earned him the nickname "Disco Ball" from Kid Razor.

"Something bothering you, Ramada?" Altoc noticed. The alien girl nodded.

"Yes." She frowned. "It's this Venom person. Kid Razor allowed him to patrol Cleveland. I am...worried."

"About what?" Altoc wondered.

"Well, I had the one called Sonic Blue provide me with information about Venom..." Her brow furrowed. "And I did not like what I heard about him."

"Yes..." Altoc did his version of a nod. "I read the information Sonic Blue provided on him. He is...extremely unstable."

"Indeed." Ramada frowned. "I have already heard that several criminals have gotten grievously injured or even _killed_ thanks to him. Why has my beloved allowed him here?!"

"Perhaps Kid Razor wants him where he can be monitored." Altoc surmised. "From what I hear, his relationship with the heroes in New York are...dubious at best." An explosion was heard. Ramada took to the air.

"Let us go, Altoc! Battle awaits us!"

**San Francisco, California**

"YAH!" Rachel Velasquez-Wilson, the teenage mutant water-dwelling heroine known as Barracuda, slammed into Skyhook with a shoulder tackle, knocking the mad robot backwards. "You really ought to stop showing off so much, Winger!"

"Ah, what can I say, babe." Winger grinned as he strafed Skyhook. "I'm the King of the Skies. I like to give a royal show." Barracuda sighed.

"Winger, you are an idiot." The gray-skinned teenager sighed. Skyhook got to its feet. "Oh, my God!"

"Crush! Kill! Destroy!" Skyhook snarled.

"What is that thing made out of?" Barracuda blinked.

"It's armor is made of several inch-thick vanadium steel." Winger explained. "They built that thing to be tough. Of course, it's modified itself over time."

"Wonderful." Barracuda grumbled.

"Crush! Kill! Destroy!" Skyhook swung his crane hook.

"Yi!" Barracuda dodged the crane hook as it slammed into the ground.

"YAH!" Winger fired his arm-mounted laser beams at the psychotic robot. Unfortunately for the high-flying hero of Seattle, the beams barely scratched Skyhook's tough armored body. "Damn!"

"Does this thing have any weak points?" Rachel yelled, grabbing a piece of large masonry, leaping up and smashing it against Skyhook's head.

"You gotta find a way to blast it between the eyes!" Winger remembered, dodging a stream of liquid cement that Skyhook was firing from his left arm. "Geez!"

"Oh, _that's_ simple." Barracuda grunted, swinging at Skyhook with a telephone pole.

"Crush. Kill. Destroy." Skyhook dodged the swing, and grabbed the pole on her second swing.

"Uh oh." The Hispanic heroine blinked.

"Crush." Skyhook pitched the pole aside, taking a screaming Barracuda with it. However, Winger was able to catch her during a swoop, and he continued opening fire on the mad robot. "KILLLLLL!"

"Is that all it says?" Barracuda blinked.

"Pretty much, babe." Winger nodded. "Although it does occasionally say 'tequila'. I dunno why."

"TEQUILA!" Skyhook yelled, firing more liquid cement from his arm.

"Yi!" Winger barely dodged the stream. "If that cement gets on the wings, I get grounded!"

"Then let me down!" Barracuda told the half-Indian Seattle hero. "If you're not carrying me, it'll be easier for ya!"

"Relax,babe!" Winger smirked. He then streaked upwards. "Hey, Bolthead!" Skyhook looked up.

"Crush?"

"Special delivery for ya!" The Seattle-born hero smirked. "One Barracuda Bomb!" He dropped Barracuda like a B-2 dropping its payload. A whistle could be heard as Barracuda came flying down. "Bombs away!"

"Kill?" Skyhook blinked.

"YAH!" Barracuda came down on Skyhook's head, crushing the 'hard hat' he wore. She then flipped off his head. Sparks flew from Skyhook's head. Obviously, Barracuda was able to damage some of his circuits.

"DESTROYYYYY! TEQUILAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Skyhook roared, swinging wildly.

"Well, smartass. What do we do now?" Barracuda frowned at Winger. The Seattle-born hero shrugged.

"I have no idea." He admitted.

**Detroit, Michigan**

"Okay, so their big weakness is those molecular rearranger things." Renegade scowled. "And just how in the hell are we supposed to get at 'em?"

"I...haven't figured that part out yet." Spencer admitted nervously, scratching the back of his head. Renegade smirked.

"Heh. Mr. Genius has no plan."

"Oh, relax. I'll think of something." Spencer frowned and scratched his chin.

"Hey, boys!" Boomerang waved. "Forgot about me?" He pitched three beeping boomerangs.

"I got this!" Renegade created a construct of shield and threw it in front of himself and Spencer, blocking the boomerangs. "Nice try, ya Crocodile Dundee-wannabe!" He sent the shield forward at incredible speed, not allowing Boomerang a chance at dodging it. The shield slammed into the Australian mercenary, knocking him cold.

"For once, I like what you just did." Spencer nodded. Renegade smirked.

"See? Told ya the Renegade can kick ass."

"But what about the dogs?" The blue-armored genius reminded, pointing at the dogs. Renegade blinked.

"You're the plan guy. _You_ think of something!" The blond-haired super-powered native of Detroit scoffed.

"Try _restraining_ them." Spencer suggested like he was speaking to a small child. Renegade blinked.

"Restrain 'em? _Restrain_ 'em?" Renegade's jaw dropped. "That's no fun! Lookit what the Renegade can do! The Renegade could make a jackhammer and use it on their heads. Or he could create a giant printing press and flatten they asses! Or he-!"

"Or you could shut up and simply create a construct to restrain 'em." Spencer frowned, crossing his arms. Renegade sighed and shook his head, throwing up his arms in defeat.

"Alright, fine." Renegade sighed. "Whaddaya want?" Spencer groaned and looked at the rampaging Diamond Dogs.

"I really do not care." Spencer sighed. "Just make something that will hold 'em!"

"Okay." Renegade smirked, his eyes starting to glow various colors thanks to the Power of Rock coursing through his body. He threw out his hands and streams of the Power of Rock flew at great speed from his fingers. It coalesced and formed into several gigantic bikini-clad beach bunnies.

"I should be surprised, but I am not." Spencer chuckled. Renegade made the women grab the Dogs and hold them down. "Okay, now hold them down while I scan 'em for weak points."

"Hurry it up, Speedy. These things are fighters." Renegade grunted.

"Uh...Doctor Bonham?" The Hispanic reporter named Andrea Lopez tried to alert the crazy scientist.

"Not now, I've almost beat this game!" Doctor Bonham interrupted, holding up a hand to stop her. He was busy playing a portable game. Spencer raced around the restrained Dogs, scanning them with his armor's sensors.

"Hmmm...no...no...Eureka!" The young genius whooped. "I should've realized! That idiot left a huge weak point in the Dogs!" He raced over to Cerberus, the golden-helmeted lead Dog. He slid under, and punched his fist through the Dog's unprotected belly. Using his armor-enhanced strength, Spencer tore Cerberus's belly open. "Well, whaddaya know? Not only have I found the molecular rearranger, but it turns out that Cerberus here transmits power to the other Dogs. So..." He took out the molecular rearranger. "I shut this dog down, and the others go quiet." He left a couple Sonic Boomers right next to the Dog's generator, and zipped away from it. An explosion erupted from under the Dog, and Cerberus fell limp and still, his red eyes darkening to pitch black. Right afterwards, the other two Diamond Dogs fell to the same fate.

"Uh, Doctor Bonham..." Andrea tapped his shoulder.

"Oh, what?" Te crazy scientist sighed. Andrea pointed at the ground, smirking.

"Looks like your plan to catch Renegade...went belly up." She indicated. Doctor Bonham looked down at the ground and his jaw dropped. He saw his Diamond Dogs, frozen and lifeless.

"AH, SONOVA-!" He threw down his headband and started jumping on it. "GAH!"

**Detroit, A few minutes later**

"Man, not again..." Doctor Bonham moaned as he was put into the back of a police car. "At least this time, I have pants on..." Spencer and Renegade watched the car drive away.

"Bye, Doc!" Renegade grinned, waving at the car. "Well, the Renegade has to admit. Maybe using your head isn't quite as dumb an idea as I thought. It's still not a lot of fun, but it's not as dumb as the Renegade thought."

"I'm...glad you think that." Spencer nodded.

"Yeah." Renegade nodded as well. "Well, it was fun." He noticed Andrea Lopez, talking to a camera. "If you excuse the Renegade, there's a fine chickie that needs herself some Renegade action." The teenage African-American hero then strutted over to Andrea. Spencer sighed.

"Renegade, don't-...ah, heck. Let him go." Spencer sighed to himself. "If he has Razor's luck with the ladies...this'll be funny." Renegade tapped Andrea's shoulder, and the Hispanic woman turned around.

"Oh, and we have one of the heroes who helped stop the rampage: Detroit's own Renegade! Tell us, Renegade, how hard was it to stop the so-called Diamond Dogs?" Renegade took the microphone.

"The Renegade'll tell ya...if ya let the Renegade see ya naked." Renegade smirked. Spencer could be heard laughing in the background. Andrea gave the Detroit hero a slap across the face.

"Good one, pal!" Spencer laughed.

_**Next: Mojoholic** People in Cleveland are suddenly acting crazy, and it's up to Kid Razor, Ramada, and Venom to find the cause! And what does Mojo have to do with it?_


	81. Mojoholic, Part 1

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Is there nothing that can permeate your impervious puss?" - Roger Rabbit, _Who Framed Roger Rabbit_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts –** Barracuda often claims she made Tiger Shark cry like a girl, which often infuriates the former Olympian._

--

_**Chapter 81: Mojoholic, Part 1: It Begins**_

**Avengers Mansion**

"Ah, another superhero poker game." Tony Stark smiled as he placed a poker chip holder on a dresser.

"I just hope that the GLA or Kid Razor doesn't show up." Felicia Hardy agreed. "I heard Razor is a cheater."

"He does cheat sometimes." Tony nodded. "But sometimes he plays fair. He's been known for his hot streaks." A ringing was heard from the front door. "Don't worry, Jarvis! I'll get it!" The heroic industrialist opened the door and saw a grinning Kid Razor standing at the front step. He grinned and pointed at the dark-haired veteran superhero.

"_NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!_" Razor yelled.

_**SLAM!**_

Tony slammed the door and walked away.

"Who was that?" Felicia blinked.

"Nobody." Tony told the white-haired ex-cat burglar as he walked away.

_**KABLAM!**_

Kid Razor blasted the door down with his magical guitar. The still-grinning rocker walked in.

"Now that was rude. The Kid of Rock wanted to say hi to his Avenger buddies, and he gets a door to the face." Felicia blinked.

"Do you _always_ break down people's doors?" The Black Cat frowned. Razor nodded.

"Opening them is boring. Kicking them is fun."

"You're fixing this door, Razor." Tony grunted, picking up a piece of the door.

"Do the Kid of Rock look like Bob Vila to you, Shellhead?" Razor snorted. Jarvis walked in.

"Kid Razor, I presume?" Jarvis frowned.

"You got it, Jeeves." Razor grinned. "The Kid of Rock is here for the poker game."

"I heard you cheat." Felicia grunted.

"That is a dirty lie, Snow-hair!" Razor snapped. "The Kid of Rock is no cheater!"

"Bull." Tony scoffed. "I know you, Razor. Cheating was the only way you could have four Aces in _four hands in a row!_"

"I'm just lucky." Razor buffed his nails on his shirt.

"I had two Aces in that last hand alone!" Tony countered.

"Them's cheatin' words!" Razor laughed.

"And where's our fridge?" Tony demanded.

"Fridge?" Felicia blinked.

"The Kid of Rock won the fridge." Razor explained. "He gave it to a friend."

"You stole the fridge! Nobody put it up for bet!" Tony exclaimed.

"Why would the Kid of Rock steal a fridge?" Razor rolled his eyes.

"Because you're an annoying idiot who likes driving everyone crazy?" Felicia suggested.

"Whatever, Hooty McBoob." Razor waved the insult off. "I wonder, did you ever get that letter from Playboy? The Kid of Rock recommended you for a spread."

"Oh, I should've known you were behind that!" Felicia groaned.

**Some time later**

Several heroes were sitting around a poker table. Captain America was the dealer, and he still looked stupid in that visor.

"Damn, you still look stupid in that visor, Flagman." Razor smirked at Cap, eating some chips.

"Shut up, Razor." Remy LeBeau, the Cajun X-Man known as Gambit, grunted at the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, handing a deck of shuffled cards to Cap. All the heroes in attendance cast at a suspicious eye at the Fearless One. Whenever Razor played poker, you couldn't tell if he was lucky or if he was cheating. And he was caught cheating on a couple occasions.

"Yeah, Captain Cheater." Rogue nodded.

"Don't you two have a kid to watch over?" Razor scowled at the two mutants.

"Kurt is babysitting." Rogue told him. **(1)**

"Are you going to chat, or are we going to play poker?" Danny Rand, the green-and-yellow-clad martial artist known as the Iron Fist, demanded in a joking manner.

"Okay, okay, keep yer dragon tat on." Razor waved. "Yo Cap, deal already!"

"We got enough soda?" Carol Danvers, the blonde super-bombshell known as Ms. Marvel asked.

"We got plenty, Carol. Don't worry about it." Felicia reassured.

"I got fruit juice if anyone wants it." Tony told the other players. "Pity none of the FF could make it."

"I think they're dealing with a couple Skrull parents." Danny remembered as Cap dealt the cards. **(2)**

"Everybody keep an eye on Razor." Rogue warned. "The little punk might try and cheat. Again."

"The Kid of Rock don't cheat." Razor spat.

"Yeah, and pigs can fly." Rogue smirked, looking at her cards.

"You've never been to Cleveland, have you Rogue?" Danny rolled his eyes. "Last time I was there, I saw a pig do a dance number from _Grease._" He looked at Razor. "What is up with your hometown, Razor?" The Fearless One shrugged.

"I dunno."

**Cleveland, Ohio**

Ramada flew like a bullet, streaking through the skies of Cleveland. She darted and dodged buildings. Flying alongside her was her companion, Altoc.

"How much further, Altoc?" Ramada asked.

"According to my calculations, at the current speed you are going, we shall arrive at our intended destination in a few minutes." Altoc explained.

"Good." Ramada nodded. "The faster we get to our destination, the more innocent lives we can save."

_**THWIP!**_

The alien girl noticed a large black muscular figure web-swing through the building.

"Oh, no..." Ramada sighed. "Venom."

"Greetings, shorty!" The symbiote-packing anti-hero greeted. "We've been looking forward to seeing you again."

"What have you been doing, Venom?" Ramada scowled.

"Just keeping our part of town clean." Venom shrugged. "We saw the explosion."

"I do not need help from a psychopath like yourself, symbiote!" Ramada snapped.

"Sorry, Ramada. You're a little young for us." Venom smirked as he continued to web-swing.

"Down there!" Altoc indicated that Ramada should descend.

"Right!" Ramada nodded. The alien girl flew downwards.

"Now where are you going?" Venom muttered to himself. He started to swing downwards. Ramada landed and looked around.

"What?" Ramada noticed a car had exploded. The destroyed remains of the chassis burned. Leaning against a nearby streetpole was an ordinary guy, laughing madly and holding his head. Ramada scowled. She grabbed the guy by his shirt's collar. "What have you done?! There better have not been anyone in that car!"

"That's my...that's my...m-m-my car! BWAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He cackled madly.

"Uh, Ramada..." Altoc began. The alien princess looked around, and noticed the street was a madhouse. People were laughing and acting crazy.

"What is going on here?" Ramada blinked. Venom landed near the alien princess.

"The hell?" The muscular lunatic blinked. "Never saw anything like this in New York." He watch one kid ride by in a shopping cart.

"Whoooo! Just like Johnny Knoxville, huh huh!" The kid laughed in a redneck accent.

"I am the King of Oranges!" A business man, wearing a towel cape over his suit, jumped on a car and struck a superheroic pose.

"Is this your doing, Venom?!" Ramada scowled. "I was hoping you'd ask for Razor to boot you out of Cleveland-!" Venom looked at her flatly.

"Kid, do you really think this is our style?" Venom waved his arm at the chaos. He started at the insanity. "Who is causing all of this?"

**Mojoworld**

"BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mojo laughed as he watched the madness on a monitor.

"Master? What're you up to now?" Mojor Domo wondered.

"Oh, I love this! This is a ratings wonder!" Mojo cackled. "Delivering the Insanity Inducer to Cleveland was perfect! The whole town is insane! The viewers will be left wondering what random chaos will happen next! I love it!"

"Hmmm..." Major Domo frowned at the monitor. He noticed a confused Ramada and Venom. "Master, those two seem to not be affected. My guess is their physiologies."

"Indeed." Mojo nodded. "Ramada is not from Earth. And Venom's symbiote must be protecting him from the effects of the Insanity Inducer. Ah, well. It's just as good. Let's see if Ramada and Venom can figure out where the Inducer is."

_**Next: Mojoholic Part 2: Streets of Insanity** Kid Razor plays poker, and Ramada and Venom try to protect the citizens of Cleveland from themselves!_

**(1) – Marie LeBeau is being babysat by Kurt over in "Uncanny X-Men"**

**(2) – The FF is meeting with Lyja's parents in "Uncanny Four"**


	82. Mojoholic, Part 2: Streets of Insanity

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Food!" - Eric Cartman, _South Park_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts –** When Kid Razor first met Captain America, Razor called him 'A museum relic that magically came to life'._

--

_**Chapter 82: Mojoholic, Part 2: Streets of Insanity**_

**Avengers Mansion**

"I got a pair." Tony Stark announced. "What you got, Razor?"

"The Kid of Rock ain't telling you." Kid Razor scowled. The fearless Cleveland native then turned his head and leaned over slightly. Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat, was sitting next to Razor. The Kid of Rock peeked over at her cleavage. "But the Kid of Rock will tell you, he is looking at a nice pair right now." Felicia looked over and scowled. She placed her elbow on the table, and allowed her glove to unsheath the built-in claws.

"Razor, I know your physical invulnerability doesn't protect you from getting sliced." The ex-cat burglar told the Fearless One. "Now, unless you want me to use these to remove your eyeballs, I suggest you point them in another direction and keep 'em in that direction." Razor rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Razor went back to his original position. Felicia smiled and patted Razor's head.

"Good boy. Looks like you're not completely untrainable after all."

"That's right, Felicia." Carol snickered, taking a sip of her soda. "You have to show him who the dominant one is around here."

"Hey Warbroad, take a picture." Razor retorted, flipping the ex-Air Force officer off.

"Oh, I'm so scared." Carol shivered.

"Razor, will you stop already?" Cap sighed. "You should be grateful we even allowed you to participate in this game."

"Indeed." Iron Fist agreed with a nod. "It's a shame Gambit and Rogue had to bow out."

"They said something came up with Marie." Carol remembered. **(1)**

"I hope she is alright." Felicia said. "I saw a picture of Marie. She is so cute. Not as cute as Little May, though."

"You're just saying that because Little May is your goddaughter." Tony snickered. Felicia shrugged.

"They wouldn't shut up about the kid." Razor rolled his eyes.

"When you have kids, you'll understand." Carol told the young rocker sagely.

"I wouldn't be surprised when by the time Razor is legal age, he already would have had a few rugrats running around." Razor shrugged at Tony's remark.

"Maybe. The Kid of Rock has been around few times." Razor shrugged. Felicia and Carol laughed.

"Oh, that's a good one, Razor." Felicia laughed. "You're hilarious. No seriously, you are." Razor frowned at the two heroines.

"You two are a regular Chris Rock and Jackie Chan."

"Alright, alright." Tony calmed everything down. "Let's just get back to the game."

"I fold." Iron Fist frowned, placing his cards on the table.

"I win! Go me!" Carol whooped.

"Man, you and Cap have the same problem." Razor grunted at the green-and-yellow-clad martial artist. "Neither one of you can bluff for jack."

"Coming from a serial cheater like you, that's a compliment." Iron Fist smirked.

"The Kid of Rock does not cheat!" Razor snapped. "Deal the damn cards, Cap!"

"Watch your language, Razor." Cap told the Ultimate Rockstar sternly as he dealt the cards. Cap always thought Razor had lots of potential, but the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll needed an attitude and language adjustment in his mind.

"And this clown _defends_ the First Amendment." Razor grunted, taking his cards. He fidgeted in his seat , scratching his back.

"The First Amendment doesn't give you the right to have a sailor's mouth, Razor." Cap corrected.

"Tell that to Blondie over here." Razor smirked, pointing at Carol with his thumb. "She can't get enough of it."

"Razor, you wouldn't know what to do with me naked even if I told you." Carol stuck her tongue out at Razor. "Nyeah!"

"What are you, three?" Tony frowned.

"Could be worse. You could end up getting your ass kicked by a furious Thor after he discovers you cloned him without permission." Razor shrugged. Tony blinked.

"Why would I do that? Thor would beat me into next year. I've heard about the smackdowns he laid on the Midgard Serpent and Thanos. I don't want to be on the receiving end of Mjolnir, thank you very much."

"Not to mention his brawl with the Juggernaut." Felicia added. "Although Spider did fight the Juggernaut, too."

"Yeah." Razor smirked. "Juggy threw your ex around like a red-and-blue ragdoll." Felicia glared.

"He threw you clear into Oregon, if I remember correctly." The white-haired woman retorted.

"Yeah, I heard that when you woke up, you thought Cleveland had been destroyed to make way for a pine sanctuary!" Carol laughed. Razor rolled his eyes.

"The Kid of Rock was a rookie. Give him a break."

"Razor, what you got?" Tony asked. Razor smirked.

"Royal Flush." Razor showed. "Hearts. The very things I like to break."

"Awwwwwwww!" The other heroes groaned.

"I can't believe it! That's the best hand." Carol groaned.

"Nothing can beat that!" Felicia whined.

"Congratulations, Razor." Cap smiled.

"Your infamous luck strikes again." Iron Fist noted the obvious.

"Come to daddy..." Razor grinned as he brought the money on the center of the table to himself. Tony frowned.

"Hey wait a minute!" He looked at his hand. "Razor, you need to have a King of Hearts to have a Royal Flush in the Hearts suit. I have a King of Hearts myself."

"Maybe it's a bad deck." Razor shrugged. The other heroes quickly realized what that meant.

"I knew it!" Carol growled. "You cheated! Again!"

"Oh, Razor..." Cap sighed, shaking his head.

"Why am I not surprised?" Iron Fist shook his head.

"How'd you do it this time, Razor?" Felicia demanded. Razor blinked and realized he was still holding the money. He looked around and saw several not-too-happy heroes.

"Magic!" Razor grinned evilly. "And now for my next trick, the Kid of Rock will disappear!" Razor ran for it, clutching his ill-gained poker winnings. "BWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"You little-!" Carol ran after him, followed by the other heroes. "Come back here and give back that money! I'll beat you like your mother should!"

"And we want our fridge, too!" Tony added.

**Cleveland, Ohio**

_**KABOOM!**_

"WHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"I am the _b__uuuuuuullll_ of the _wooooooooods!_" **(2)**

"_Spill the wine! Get that girl!_" A woman sang as she threw a bunch of wine bottles everywhere. **(3)**

"I am Spartacus!" One man exclaimed as he ran around in a toga.

"I am Spartacus!" Another man exclaimed as he banged his head on a car's hood. Ramada and Venom were watching in amazement.

"Wow." Venom gaped. "Wow. I heard that Cleveland was one crazy town, but this is completely unlike anything I have ever seen."

"I am just getting used to it myself." Ramada nodded.

"Oh, that's good..." A voice laughed. "Because you two are about to become stars."

"Huh?" The symbiote-human and alien girl looked around.

"Hey!" The voice called. "Over here!" The two heroes turned to an electronics store. Every TV in the window display showed Mojo's ugly mug. He waved at the two, a big grin on his face. "Hello!"

"...who?" Ramada blinked as she and Venom approached the TVs.

"Oh, we heard of him." Venom scoffed. "His name is Mojo. He runs some kind of insane TV-obsessed alternate dimension called Mojoworld."

"How do you know this?" Ramada blinked.

"We got a grapevine." Venom shrugged.

"Oh, I am so glad to have new blood on my shows!" Mojo grinned. "And now, we are going to play a special new game! It's called 'Save their Sanity'!"

"Mojo, if you are the fiend behind this...!" Ramada snarled.

"Easy, kid." Venom held her back. "Hear the man out."

"Thank you!" Mojo grinned. "Anyway, I used my magical powers to transport a device called the Insanity Inducer to this city! As you can see, it had made your town into a madhouse! The fun part, you two have about three hours to find the device and shut it off."

"What happens after three hours?" Venom snarled.

"Oh, the madness become permanent." Mojo laughed. "And your three hours start...now!" A clock appeared on the screens. "Bye bye!"

"Aw, no..." Ramada groaned.

"Great, and Kid Razor just had to be at that poker game!" Venom grumbled.

_**Next: Mojoholic, Part 3: Still Crazy** Ramada and Venom struggle to save Cleveland, but help is on the way!_

**(1) – See "Uncanny X-Men"**

**(2) – A reference to Vader**

**(3) – Lyrics from an Animals song.**


	83. Mojoholic, Part 3: Still Crazy

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Book 'em, Danno!" - Jack Lord from _Hawaii Five-O_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts – **In the URM-Verse, Greg Willis/Gravity is the Local Hero of Milwaukee, Wisconsin._

--

_**Chapter 83: Mojoholic, Part 3: Still Crazy**_

**Houston, Texas**

It was a typical sunny hot day in the city known as Space City. However, that tranquility would soon be shattered.

_EEEEEEEEEEE!_

A burglar alarm went off as a trio of robbers raced towards a waiting pickup truck.

"Awright!" One grinned underneath his ski mask. "A clean getaway!"

_**Ptow! Ptow!**_

_Hissssssssssss..._

"What the-?!" One of the robbers leapt out of the truck and examined. "Aw man, the front tires got shot out!"

"Just makin' sure you boys don't go anywhere." A Texas-accented feminine voice grinned. The robbers looked up at the source.

The source was a beautiful young woman, dressed like a cowgirl: a blue shirt with a orange-and-black spotted vest and white gloves. She also had on a pair of blue pants and white cowboy boots. Her brown hair cascaded down her back from the white cowboy hat she wore. Around her neck was a white neckerchief. Her identity was concealed by a blue domino mask.

Amanda "Mandy" Liebowicz had a legacy of heroism. The young Texan woman searched for purpose in life. Trained as a private detective, Mandy found her calling when she learned that she was a descendant of Matt Hawk/Matt Liebowicz, the Wild West hero known as the Two-Gun Kid. She had decided to take on her ancestor's legacy and become a modern Two-Gun Kid.

Appropriately, her costume was a modernized update of the original. The vest and costume was armored, and instead of standard six-gun revolvers used by the original, Mandy used energy pistols that resembled futuristic six-guns. She was also armed with what she called her "taser lasso", a super-strong rope that could unleash a light electrical shock when it was coiled around a person. The costume and weapons were provided by The Tinkerer, as a way of repaying her for saving the life of an old friend of his in a previous case. Mandy eventually became the Local Heroine of Houston, a job she takes with pride.

"Hey, look at this." One of the robbers snickered. "We got ourselves a cowgirl."

"Whoo lord." Another snickered. "And I thought the girls at that strip joint were somethin'. I'd like to see them in that outfit."

"I suggest you boys surrender." Mandy told the robbers, ignoring the lewd remark.

"To _you?_" One of the robbers laughed. "Lady, maybe you should do us a dance first." Mandy smirked.

"Whatever." The costumed PI blasted two of the robbers with her pistols. The two men fell to the ground with grunts.

"Oh my God!" A third robber's jaw dropped. "They dead!"

"No, they ain't." Mandy grinned. "They're stunner pistols. They're just knocked out for a while." The third robber tried to make a break for it. "And as for you..." Mandy pulled out her taser lasso. She whirled it around her head. The costumed detective then threw the lasso, and it caught the robber around the chest.

_Bzz!_

A light electrical shock erupted from the lasso, shocking the robber.

"Hey!" The robber snapped. He got hit by another shock. "Yagh! Okay, I give up!" Mandy smirked as she heard sirens.

"And those would be your buddies in the Houston PD."

"Aw, man..." The robber groaned.

**Cleveland, Ohio**

On top of a building, a blue portal appeared out of nowhere. A cackling Kid Razor flew out, clutching a pile of money close to his chest.

"BWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Razor laughed. "Oh, _man!_ The Kid of Rock can't believe he got one over on those guys! The Kid of Rock thinks that...huh?" Razor looked down at the street. He noticed that the street was filled with people, acting completely out of their minds. "What in the name of Van Halen?"

"Alright, Razor!" A stern voice called. The Fearless One turned around and saw Captain America, Iron Man, Black Cat, Ms. Marvel, and Iron Fist standing on the same building.

"Aw, man..." Razor groaned. "The Kid of Rock must've left the portal open too long."

"Razor, give back the money before we-!" Carol started to threaten.

"Hang on, Carol." Iron Man put his hand to the side of his helmet. "That's weird. My scans are detecting strange radiation bathing the area."

"Radiation?" Felicia blinked. "Oh God, please don't tell me that it's gamma radiation. I don't wanna be turned into a big green hulking monster! I'm too cute for that!"

"Relax, Felicia." Tony Stark reassured. "It's not gamma radiation."

"Whew!" The snow-haired Avenger wiped her brow in relief. "That's good."

"Will this radiation hurt us, Iron Man?" Carol inquired.

"...No..." Iron Man frowned.

"It makes people insane." A feminine voice answered. Ramada flew towards the Avengers. Venom was spotted by climbing up the building.

"Ramada, I presume?" Cap asked. "Kid Razor has told us about you."

"That's your alien groupie?" Tony looked at Razor, amused features forming on the face underneath his armored faceplate.

"Ah, so that's Ramada." Carol grinned at Razor. "Heh."

"Don't remind the Kid of Rock." Razor grumbled under his breath.

"What is going on?" Iron Fist asked as he looked down at the ground. He then looked over at Venom. _Hmmm..._ The green-and-yellow-clad martial artist thought. _I last indirectly worked with Venom during Carnage's infamous rampage in New York. What is he doing here? _**(1)**

"Someone named Mojo." Ramada explained.

"Mojo?!" Carol's jaw dropped. "As in the enemy of the X-Men Mojo?!"

"No, she means the Mojo that regularly fights Jerry Lewis." Razor cracked.

"What's Venom doing here, Razor?" Danny wondered, pointing at the symbiote-wearing anti-hero.

"I work here!" Venom smirked.

"Only probationary." Razor scowled. "One screw up, and he's outta here faster than a Yankee fan out of Fenway Park!"

"Huh. Funny, I thought you would've said a White Sox fan out of the Q..." Carol noticed Razor glaring at her. "What?"

"_Gund. Arena._" Razor growled the words out. "It's the Gund Arena. Not the damned Quicken Loans Arena."

"Razor's very sensitive about that." Iron Man explained. "Ever since they changed the name of that place, Razor's put up a huge stink about it." **(2)**

"You know, I was bored once, and I saw on TV something called the Buckeye Series." Felicia remembered. Razor grinned.

"Yeah, that's when the Reds, Spencer's team, take on the Indians, my boys." Razor grinned. "The Indians won more games, which gets under Spencer's collar no end." **(3)**

"What's going on down there?" Cap wondered, looking down at the street.

"Someone named Mojo has sent a device called the Insanity Inducer." Venom explained.

"It is a device that emits radiation that somehow causes people to go crazy." Ramada added.

"Then how come _we_ haven't gone bonkers?" Razor blinked.

"My armor must be protecting me." Iron Man reasoned. "And the Super-Soldier Serum in Cap must be protecting him."

"I feel the waves trying to alter my mind." Danny nodded. "But I can fight them off with the mental disciplines I learned from my time in K'un-L'un."

"I'm starting to see flying green penguins myself, to be honest." Carol nodded. "But otherwise, I'm fine."

"Must be the Kree part of your genetic code." Iron Man reasoned.

"And the Power of Rock must be protecting yours truly." Razor noticed. "Ramada is from another planet, and Venom has his symbiote."

"And that leaves..." A worried Iron Fist turned around and saw Felicia. The snow-haired woman stumbled a bit.

"Felicia! You alright?!" Danny moved to help her up.

"Hey..." She looked up at the blond martial artist. "You got a funny costume."

"Uh oh..." Carol winced.

"It's hit her." Razor realized.

"_'Cuz I got a Golden Ticket..._" Felicia sang. "_I got a golden twinkle in my eye..._"

"Heh." Venom smirked. "Can we keep her like this? She's funny."

"Not now, Brock." Cap frowned.

"Captain, there is something you must know." Ramada frowned, looking at her watch. "Captain, we have two hours and forty-five minutes to find the device and shut it down, as you Terrans say, before the madness that has pervaded this town becomes permanent." Razor looked at a singing Felicia.

"Damn. Hate to have to explain that to Wonder Man."

"I love you guys. I love all of you guys..." Felicia grinned, hugging Iron Fist tightly.

"Felicia, please!" Iron Fist wheezed. "I cannot breathe!"

"Come on, Felicia..." Carol sighed, pulling the platinum blonde off of her. "Let's get you somewhere where you won't get yourself..." The blonde half-Kree scowled at open air, and swatted at something. "Get away from me!" She grinned apologetically at the other heroes. "Sorry, the stuff's starting to affect me."

"Just try to keep composure as long as you can." Cap nodded. "The rest of you...we got a city to save."

"Let's Rock 'n' Roll!" Razor grinned, pumping his fist in the air enthusiastically.

**(1) – See the "Maximum Carnage" storyline from the 1990s Spider-Man comics. Interestingly enough, Venom and Iron Fist were involved, but they never met face-to-face during the crossover.**

**(2) – The Quicken Loans Arena, formerly the Gund Arena, is Cleveland's major place to go for sporting events. Razor did not take the name change very well.**

**(3) – The Buckeye Series, aka the Battle of Ohio, is what they call it when the Cincinnati Reds take on the Cleveland Indians in baseball, or when Cleveland's Browns take on Cincinnati's Bengals in football.**


	84. Mojoholic, Part 4: Loony Toony

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "All the world's a stage, and we are merely players, performers and portrayers." - Rush, from the song _Limelight._**

--

_**Local Hero Facts – **In the URM-Verse, Jack Flag, an associate of Captain America, is the Local Hero of Phoenix, Arizona._

--

Chapter 84: Mojoholic, Part 4: Loony Toony

**Houston, Texas**

"Well, that's one bunch of punks rounded up." Mandy Liebowicz, the Two-Gun Kid, local heroine of Houston, mumbled to herself as she walked away from the robbery scene, gathering up her taser lasso. Behind her, members of the Houston PD were carting away the robbers she had just taken down.

"Beaten by a cowgirl. You guys hit a new low." One of the cops snickered.

"Man, she was hot..." One of the robbers grinned as he was led into the back of the squad car. "I tell ya man, she works at Wild Wild Chest. I know she does."

"A superheroine stripper. Uh huh." The cop nodded with a chuckle. Mandy took no notice. She knew the effect she had on guys in her costume, and she didn't care. In fact, she found it funny. The blue-clad heroine walked towards a blue-and-white Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle. She pushed back her hat, the hat hanging from her neck thanks to a knotted rope, and pulled out a blue-and-white helmet. The PI put on her helmet, mounted the bike, and raced away, her bike's radio playing Gretchen Wilson.

_Crackle! Crackle!_

The radio on her bike picked up something on the police band.

"Hmmm..." The Texan mumbled to herself. "Maybe it's something a little more than bank robbers." She switched her radio to the police band.

"_Attention all units, the Purple Phantom is on the rampage again in downtown Houston._" The radio barked out.

"I thought I put that guy away." Mandy frowned to herself. Like herself, the Purple Phantom was a legacy. His real name was Jack Hondo Jr., a descendant of the original Purple Phantom. He was the heir to the technology firm known as Hondo Electronics, a prominent company in Houston. However, in one of her first cases, the new Two-Gun Kid busted his father, Jack Hondo Sr., of corporate espionage. Seeking revenge, Hondo discovered that he was a direct descendant of the original Purple Phantom, who fought the original Two-Gun Kid. Using his technological genius, he created an armored costume based on the Iron Man villain known as the Ghost. He also used a technologically-advanced flying machine that he used like a steer. "Wonderful. Freakin' wonderful." **(1)**

**Downtown Houston**

"AIEEEEEE!"

"RUN! RUN!"

"That's right, you fools! Run!" The Purple Phantom laughed. The supervillain was dressed in an all-purple armored suit with a helmet that looked like it had a metal cowboy hat on top and a cape. He rode a flying vehicle that looked like a giant-sized version of K-9 from _Doctor Who,_ with the head of a robotic horse. The vehicle had two revolving laser cannons in front, and it was shooting purple laser beams at the ground. The Two-Gun Kid's motorcycle pulled up to the scene. "What?"

"Alright, Phantom!" Mandy yelled, throwing off her helmet and throwing on her hat. "Get yer ass down here so I can kick it and put you back in jail!"

"Oh, look." Purple Phantom smirked. "The Two-Gun Kid. Shouldn't you be shakin' it in a strip club?" Mandy smirked at the remark.

"Any strip club _I_ work at, _you_ wouldn't be allowed in!" Mandy laughed as she started to blast at him with her laser pistols.

"Grrr!" Purple Phantom growled as he dodged the Two-Gun Kid's laser blasts. "Real cute, lady!"

"What's gotten you so hacked off this time?" Mandy sighed. "Still mad at me because I put yer daddy away?"

"You shut up, you gun-slinging slag!" Purple Phantom roared, his futuristic flying steed firing purple beams at the blue-clad cowgirl. "My father did a lot of great things for this city of ingrates! You turned them against my family!"

"Oh yeah, I forced your dad to commit corporate espionage." Mandy scowled as she ducked behind a car, the beams hitting the ground in front of the car. The beams' impact kicked up asphalt and dirt. "Not to mention that your old man also killed a bunch of people."

"You shut the hell up, Two-Gun!" Purple Phantom roared, his steed firing missiles.

"Aw crud." Mandy yelped. "YI!" She leapt out of the way as the missiles hit the ground around her and the car she was hiding behind. "Not good! Not good at all!"

"Face it, Two-Gun!" Purple Phantom laughed. "I'm going to do to you what my ancestor couldn't do to yours!"

"Matt Hawk kicked Hunk Hondo's ass, and I'll kick yours, too!" Mandy yelled, popping up and twirling her taser lasso. She charged towards the flying Purple Phantom. "It's a family tradition, baby!"

"I don't think so." Purple Phantom shook his head. He whipped out a bola from under his cape. He twirled it around and threw it at the brown-haired costumed PI.

"Agh!" Two-Gun yelled as the bola wrapped itself around her, causing her to drop her taser lasso. "AIEEEEEE!" The bola started shocking her.

"Goodbye, Two-Gun Kid." Purple Phantom smirked as the laser cannons on his steed started to glow, pointing at the downed heroine. "Say hi to your ancestor...in Hell."

"I don't think so, pal." A voice smirked. A pair of purple arrows whistled through the sky and hit the front cannons of the Purple Phantom's steed, destroying them.

"Agh!" The Purple Phantom yelled in frustration. "Who dares?"

"I do, jackass." Hawkeye, the Avenging Archer, the leader of the West Coast Avengers, laughed. He was standing on top of a bus.

"What business do you have here, Avenger?" Purple Phantom snarled.

"Oh, not much." Hawkeye shrugged with his typical devil-may-care smirk. "You see, I heard there was a new Two-Gun Kid around. Since the original Two-Gun was a good friend of mine, I thought I'd come say hello." Mandy blinked at the purple-clad archer in disbelief. **(2)**

"What?" She whispered. "How can that be?!"

"How is that possible?!" The Purple Phantom snorted. "You are insane. The original Two-Gun was active in the 1870s."

"Time travel. Gotta love it." Hawkeye smirked, nocking another arrow. "I suggest you let the lady go."

**Cleveland, Ohio**

"_You were the restless one and, you did not care that/I was the troubled boy, looking for a double dare..._" A mentally-addled Felicia Hardy sang.

"Felicia, stop squirming." Carol grunted.

"Carol, I'm _hungryyyyyyy..._" The white-haired ex-cat burglar whined like a little kid. "I wanna go get some fish. I love fish! Fish fish fish fish fish! _I'm gonna get you little fishy I'm gonna get you little fishy I'm gonna get you little fishy because I like eating fish!_" Carol was flying over the skies of Cleveland, holding Felicia Hardy.

Madness had broken out in Cleveland thanks to Mojo. The extradimensional tyrant had sent a device to Cleveland called the Insanity Inducer to Cleveland. The device sent out radioactive rays of an unknown kind that caused humans to go completely bonkers. It was part of Mojo's latest game show. A group of Earth's heroes had to find the device and disable it before it would permanently drive all of Cleveland mad. Carol was half-Kree, so the device wasn't affecting her as badly. She constantly saw flying green penguins.

"Why green penguins? Why flying green penguins?" Carol groaned.

"I saw a flying green penguin in Kentucky." Felicia grinned.

"Whatever you say, Black Cat." Carol rolled her eyes.

"Ooh, lookit the pretty little buttons." Felicia pointed downwards.

"What?" Carol looked down. "Oh, no..." She saw a man standing on top of a truck filled with bricks. He grabbed bricks and started to throw them at a furious crowd.

"Back, demons! Back!" The man screamed. "The power of Christ compels you!"

"Aw, no..." Carol groaned. The blonde woman placed the ex-cat burglar on a roof. "Felicia, stay here. Okay? Stay here."

"Okay! I stay!" Felicia jauntily saluted, sitting on the roof like a small child.

"Good." Carol nodded.

"Where's Simon?" Felicia wondered. "I wanna give him a big kiss!"

"Yeah, I'll see if I can find him for ya." Carol chuckled. She flew down towards the brick-throwing man. "Okay fella, let's just calm down...damn penguins! Leave me alone!" _I think this is how it works. The machine makes you see things until you go bananas._

"Flying demon!" The man shrieked in fright. "You will not take me, beast!"

"Pal, I'm no demon." Carol tried to calm the man. "Look at me."

"You will not fool me with your disguises, temptress!" The man yelled, pitching a brick. "I am protected by the Lord!"

"Ow!" The brick bonked Carol on the head. "Buddy, I don't want to hurt you..." _Although, I am seriously getting more and more tempted. This is great. I knew we'd run into a religious loony at some point._

"You shall fall, demon! You cannot beat me! I am a servant of the Lord!" He continued throwing bricks at Ms. Marvel.

"Alright, that's it." The half-Kree warrior grumbled. She fired several small low-power blasts of energy at the bricks, blasting them to dust. She then swooped down and grabbed the insane man.

"Put me down, demon!" The man screamed. "Put me down! I am a servant of the Lord! You shall not take me to Hell!"

"You are a paranoid lunatic!" Carol snapped. She swatted at the air. "Damned penguins! Leave me alone!"

"Ha! I hope the holy penguins smite you, demon!" The crazy man laughed.

"Oh, shut up. You are not helping." The blonde heroine grunted. She glared at the penguins. "And neither are any of you!" She then eyed a dumpster. "Ah, here we are." The heroine flew over the dumpster. "Down you go, pal!" She dropped the struggling man. He fell screaming into the dumpster. "Heh." The blonde's smirk then let out a tried groan. "Stop telling me to do things, you stupid damn penguins! Leave me alone!"

**On the rooftop**

"_Oh I am the pinnacle of a modern Major General..._" Felicia sang happily.

_**Next: Mojoholic, Part 5: Found** The heroes find the Insanity Inducer, but another problem erupts!_

**(1) – The original Purple Phantom, Hunk Hondo, was a cattle rustler who first appeared in _Two-Gun Kid #68 _(March 1964). He used a costume lined with phosphorus paint to give his costume a purple glow, and he was an opponent of the Matt Hawk Two-Gun Kid, Mandy's ancestor.**

**(2) – In the 1970s Avengers comics, Hawkeye was blasted back to the Old West by Kang. There, he met and worked with the original Two-Gun Kid. When Hawkeye returned to his time, Two-Gun came with him, and they spent time traveling America and working at a dude ranch. Two-Gun would return to his own time during _The Korvac Saga._**


	85. Mojoholic, Part 5: Found

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Let's rock 'n' roll, or something similar." - Elton John, _South Park_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts**_ – _ Kid Razor of Cleveland, Winger of Seattle, and Sonic Blue of Cincinnati are considered the three 'Big Guns' of the Local Heroes. However, Barracuda of San Francisco is rapidly becoming the fourth._

--

_**Chapter 85: Mojoholic, Part 5: Found**_

**Houston, Texas**

Mandy Leibowitz, the Two-Gun Kid, couldn't believe what she was seeing. The legendary Hawkeye himself, here in her town.

"Howdy, toots." The Avenging Archer shot the blue-clad cowgirl a jaunty salute. "Well, looks like ol' Matt got him a legacy." The purple-clad hero grinned. "I have to admit, you look a lot better in that costume than he did."

"Uh, thanks...heh heh..." Mandy chuckled, scratching the back of her head, grinning nervously.

"Hey, jackass!" The Purple Phantom yelled. "Why don't you come down here and fight me like a man?" Hawkeye shrugged.

"Whatever you say, bunky." The heroic archer fired a Grappler Arrow into a building, then used it to slide down to the ground.

"Oh, mah Gawwwwwd..." Two-Gun stammered. "I can't believe I'm standing right next to Hawkeye."

"I can't believe I'm Hawkeye, either." Hawkeye chuckled. A growling Purple Phantom dismounted his flying steed. "A flying craft? You gotta be kidding." The chuckling archer turned to Two-Gun. "I oughta sue this clown. He's ripping off my sky-bike." He pulled an arrow with a standard head out of his quiver. "Hang on, kid." He used it to cut Mandy free. "Here ya go."

"Thanks." Mandy grinned, picking up her laser pistols. "How's about a team-up?" Hawkeye nodded.

"Sure, kid." The purple-clad archer chuckled. "You know, I met the original Two-Gun once. I had no idea he had any relatives."

"He did have a kid." Mandy nodded. **(1)**

"Hey, cowgirl! Robin Hood!" The Purple Phantom snapped. "Are we gonna fight, or are you two going to gossip like a bunch of old women?!"

"Better do what he says." Mandy shrugged. "He gets tetchy when his patience runs out." Hawkeye nodded.

"Yeah, I know quite a few villains like that."

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this." The Purple Phantom smirked. Purple energy started emanating from his armored fists. "Can you imagine how much respect I'll get from the supervillain community if I take out the legendary Hawkeye?" Mandy snickered.

"Aw, Jebus..." Mandy groaned. "And I thought that little adventure I had with that lunatic Temple was something." She noticed the look Hawkeye gave her. "I met Outlaw once in a bar. She got a little drunk and somebody called her..." She looked around. "Ya know, Azy-cray Ez-Inay?"

"Oh, Lord..." Hawkeye groaned. Outlaw was infamous among both the superhero and supervillain communities for her quirk regarding a certain nickname. "Let me guess, she put a whole bunch of people in the hospital."

"And accidentally burned the bar down." Mandy nodded.

"Hey, are you two whackos gonna gossip or fight?!" The Purple Phantom roared.

**On the Cleveland rooftop**

Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat, was sitting on a rooftop in Cleveland. Affected by the Insanity Inducer, the ex-cat burglar and current Avenger was happily humming.

"_Here comes the sun..._" She sang to herself. The white-haired beauty got up. "A-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b..." She started running around the roof with her arms akimbo, like she was a young child lost in her imagination. "Wheeeeeee!" She squeaked when her foot caught on something and she fell on her face. "Ooh!" She slowly got up, giggling happily. "Hee hee hee..."

**Elsewhere in Cleveland**

Captain America ran up to a bus. The door opened up as he spoke.

"Excuse me, sir, but we need to borrow your _What the-?!_"

"Oh-ho-ho, this is rich!" Razor laughed.

"I am the Funky Chicken!" The bus driver exclaimed. He was in a big yellow chicken suit. "You wanna fight?!"

"Does he look like Peter Griffin to you?" Razor cracked. "He's older than him, and dumber-looking too HEY!" Razor got whapped in the back of his head.

"Be nice." Iron Fist told the young rocker. Razor scowled, rubbing the back of his head.

"You are so lucky the Kid of Rock could use you, Fisto." Razor grumbled under his breath.

"Sir..." Cap entered the bus calmly. "Time is of the essence. We need to use your-!"

"C'mon, pansy! Let's fight!" The chicken-suited man leapt at Cap. He tackled the Star-Spangled Avenger and knocked him to the ground. "Come on, fight me!" He tried to punch Cap.

"Hey, anybody got popcorn?" Razor smirked.

"Get off him!" Carol snapped. She and Venom moved to separate him. "Leave me alone, you stupid damn penguins!" She snapped at the air. Everyone looked at her strangely. "Sorry." She smiled sheepishly. "Insanity Inducer." Everyone nodded in understanding.

"You need to get yourself a symbiote." Venom told the blonde ex-pilot. "Works wonders for us."

"Is the Black Cat somewhere safe?" Cap asked. Warbird nodded.

"Yeah, she'll stay out of trouble" Warbird then screamed. "No, I will not do the funky chicken!"

"Can we keep her like this?" Razor grinned. "She's hilarious like this."

"Shut up, Razor." Warbird grumbled. **(2)**

"Hey uh, we need help here." Venom grumbled. He was struggling to hold the chicken suit-wearing man.

"Come on, ya buncha pansies! Fight me! FIIIIIIIIIGHT MEEEEEEE!!!!" He screamed.

"I have this taken care of." Iron Fist walked up to the struggling man. Then with one chop, he knocked out the man.

"Efficient." Ramada nodded approvingly.

"Thank you." Iron Fist nodded back.

"Everyone get in the bus!" Cap ordered.

"Oh great, we're riding the Cap Express." Razor rolled his eyes as he boarded. "Let's just hope that this thing don't break down in the middle of nowhere like these old jalopies tend to."

"Sit down and shut up, Razor." Iron Man grunted, shoving Razor down into his seat.

"Ya want us to web 'im to the seat?" Venom offered.

"Can you eat his brains, too?" Warbird added with a smirk. Razor glared at the symbiote-wearer.

"That trap of yers comes anywhere _near_ the Kid of Rock's head, and your big two-in-one butt is out of here." The Fearless One warned.

"Not before I behead him, beloved." Ramada added, glaring at Venom and threateningly starting to unsheath her sword.

"Cap, I have the energy signature." Iron Man announced. "It's coming from the Quicken Loans Arena."

"Gund Arena, Iron Dope!" Razor snapped. "It's called the Gund Arena!"

"They changed the name, Razor. Get over it." Iron Fist sighed.

"They did it for corporate reasons!" Razor grumbled. "Quicken is a personal finance computer program! That's not a good name for a stadium! Think about it, you guys! What if they changed the name of the Rose Bowl to the Wendy's Bowl?"

"That's a dumb name." Iron Fist frowned.

"I agree, and I am not even _from_ this planet!" Ramada agreed. Razor looked over at Warbird.

"Yo Birdy, you're a Boston girl, right?"

"When the Red Sox won the World Series, she wouldn't stop dancing." Cap chuckled.

"That way, Cap." Iron Man pointed to the right.

"Excuse me! Sorry!" Cap yelled out the window, honking the horn.

"Yeah, I'm a Boston native. So?" Carol blinked. **(3)**

"Well, how would you feel if they changed the name of Fenway Park to...like..." Razor waved his hand as he tried to think of a name. "I dunno, McDonald's Park?" The blonde's jaw dropped.

"They wouldn't dare! There'd be blood covering the streets of Boston!" She exclaimed. "It was bad enough when they wanted to build a new Fenway!"

"Are we there yet?" Venom complained. "We don't want to hear a Red Sox fan rant and rave like they always do."

"Bad move, dude..." Razor smirked.

"You wanna piece?" Carol growled at the Spider-Rogue. "I've been having a bad day, and it's culminated with flying green penguins in my head! I've been waiting all day to take it out on someone."

"Take it out on the Insanity Inducer, Carol." Cap ordered.

"Almost there, Cap." Iron Man announced.

"Everyone down!" Iron Fist yelled. Various objects started hitting the bus, causing the heroes inside to duck down.

"Man, they're throwing everything but the kitchen sink at us!" Razor winced as he looked out the window.

_Clunk!_

A kitchen sink hit the side of the bus.

"Never mind." Razor shrugged.

"Cap...the inducer is there." Iron Man pointed ahead. The bus was heading for the Quicken Loans Arena.

"How long until the device makes the madness permanent?" Cap wondered.

"About two hours." Iron Man announced.

"This is too easy." Cap frowned. "We'll be able to find that thing in minutes."

"Wouldn't be surprised if Mojo somehow managed to send some of his friends here to delay us." Warbird suggested.

"Or maybe he _wants_ us to find it." Razor suggested. "He probably wants us to go bonkers trying to defuse it.

"Would fit his sick sense of humor." Ramada nodded.

"_You_ know of Mojo?" Venom blinked.

"Your planet is not the only one he has tormented." The alien princess told the symbiote-wearing anti-hero.

"Alright, people..." Cap warned. "We don't know exactly what Mojo is up to. Be ready for anything."

_**Next: Mojoholic, Part 6: Stadium Smackdown** The heroes try to find and shut down the Insanity Inducer!_

**(1) – Matt Hawk was revealed to have had a child in the _Sunset Riders_ limited series. In the URM-Verse, that kid would eventually have kids, and so on, to Mandy in the modern day.**

**(2) – Many a hero has uttered those famous three words to Razor.**

**(3) – Yes, Carol Danvers/Ms. Marvel is from Boston. She likes her Red Sox.**


	86. Mojoholic, Part 6: Shocking Discovery

**The Uncanny Kid Razor**

**Disclaimer: "Bananas are good." - Christopher Eccleston as the Ninth Doctor, _Doctor Who_**

--

_**Local Hero Facts** – Sonic Blue is a major Doctor Who fan. His favorite Doctors are the Fifth and Tenth._

--

_**Chapter 86: Mojoholic, Part 6: Classic Shocker!**_

**Houston, Texas**

"YAHHH!" Jack Hondo Jr., the Purple Phantom, roared as he swooped down towards Hawkeye and Mandy Liebowicz, the Two-Gun Kid. His purple flying robotic steed starting firing lasers left and right at the two heroes.

"Yeow!" Hawkeye and Two-Gun yelped as they ducked out of the way.

"Sheesh." The Avenging Archer grunted, rolling his eyes as he and Two-Gun ducked behind a car. "Rookie supervillains. They got no respect these days. No respect, I tells ya! Back in my day, the new bad guy on the block would start into monologues about who he is, how he got to be there, and what his problem is. They don't do that anymore."

"He's pissed at me because I busted his daddy." Two-Gun supplied.

"Ah." Hawkeye nodded. "Family feud."

"Yeah, I busted his dad for corporate espionage." Two-Gun explained.

"Camahn, ya punks! Where are ya?!" The Purple Phantom roared as he flew around.

"Okay, so we're dealing with a guy with a daddy complex. Wonderful." Hawkeye grumbled. "It's a human version of Ultron."

"Actually, Ultron had the Oedipus Complex, and that's completely different from Purple Phantom over there." Two-Gun clarified with a grin. Hawkeye looked at the heroine flatly.

"Thanks, kid." The purple-clad archer cracked. "You wouldn't happen to have heard of the original Two-Gun, have you?"

"You pansies!" The Purple Phantom roared. "Where are ya?!"

"Well, yeah." Mandy nodded. "He's my ancestor."

"Oh yeah, I see the resemblance." Hawkeye grinned.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Two-Gun rolled her eyes. "I am laughing."

"Come on, you clowns!" The Purple Phantom roared, floating over the battlefield. "Where are ya, ya cowards?"

"Just waiting for the right moment..." Hawkeye smirked to himself. "Okay, I'm gonna blind him with a smoke arrow."

"Then what?" Two-Gun wondered.

"I dunno." The Avenging Archer admitted. "I normally don't plan this far ahead."

"Oh, great." Two-Gun groaned.

"Relax." Hawkeye chuckled. "You gotta learn to take it easy on occasion. I've been able to do this stuff for as long as I have thanks to that philosophy." He peeked up. "Hey Casper!"

"What?" The Purple Phantom turned his head. Hawkeye leapt up and cocked back his bowstring, an arrow at the ready. "You!"

"Yeah, me." Hawkeye smirked. "Want a smoke?" He fired the arrow, and it attached itself right to the Purple Phantom's chest.

"Man, your arrows are weak!" The purple-clad villain laughed. "And they say you're a legend."

"Wait three seconds, dumbass." Hawkeye smirked.

"Huh?" The Purple Phantom blinked.

_**Boom!**_

"Agh!" The purple-armored villain yelped as the arrow exploded, releasing thick black smoke. "Hey! I can't see!"

"We gotta try and get him off his horse!" Two-Gun twirled her taser lasso. "My taser lasso at its strongest level can short out his armor. Yah!" Her lasso managed to get around the Purple Phantom. Electricity ran up and down the armored villain's steel-covered body.

"Yie-yabba-yabba-awooga!" The Purple Phantom mumbled. Sparks and small explosions erupted from his armor, and he fell off his flying steed, hitting the ground with an unceremonious CLANG! "Ohhhh..."

"Heh heh." Two-Gun smirked. "That took care of him."

"Oh yeah." Hawkeye nodded.

"Ohhhhh..." The Purple Phantom moaned.

"That was some good stuff, kid." Hawkeye complimented. "You'd do ol' Matt Hawk proud."

"Thanks." Two-Gun grinned. "And you said you knew Matt Hawk. How is that possible? Matt Hawk is my ancestor. And he was fighting crime in the 1870s." The Avenging Archer chuckled.

"I got to go to the Old West once." Hawkeye chuckled. "I met your ancestor. Nice guy. He even spent some time in the present with the Avengers. He eventually got back home. He got homesick. You know..." The archer smirked. "You and I oughta hang out. I guess you can consider me an old friend of the family." He held out his hand.

"I guess so." Two-Gun grinned, shaking Hawkeye's hand. "Hey, maybe I will get to be an Avenger one day."

**A building in Cleveland**

"Uhn..." Felicia Hardy grunted as she tried to push a couch through a balcony window. Affected by Mojo's Insanity Inducer, Felicia was tryng to move an entire couch all by herself, the reasons known only to her artificially-addled mind. "Come on...come on...Nnn..." She scratched at her shoulder, and her side. "I am so itchy..." From outside, the sounds of Clevelanders losing their minds could be heard. Car alarms blared, glass broke, animals screamed, babies cried, things exploded, video games went unplayed, car crashes could be heard, and the sounds of shouting, fighting, hooting, and general madness permeated the air.

_Bree-bree-bree-bree!_

"Put your pants on, you stupid lamppost!"

"Why do things that happen to stupid people happen to me?!" **(1)**

"Dammit!"

"I can't find the horse! I CAN'T FIND THE HORSE!"

"Who ate the magic corrrrrnnnnnnnn?!"

"This is madness!"

"Madness?! MADNESS?! _THIS! __**IS! **__**SPARTAAAAAAA!**_"

Felicia Hardy, completely ignorant of the craziness erupting around her due to her mental state, went back to pushing the couch. "Uhnnn...gotta get this couch out of here because it keeps laughing at me..." She moved her shoulders. "Blast it, I'm so itchy..." The crazy white-haired woman tried to go back to her pushing. "Awww..." She grunted. "I can't get this couch out of here, and it keeps laughing at me!" She angrily kicked the couch. "OW!" The ex-cat burglar hopped up and down, clutching her foot. "Grrrrrrr! Stupid couch. Stop laughing at me!" She snapped. "Nnnn..." She started scratching herself. "I'm itchy all over..."

**The Quicken Loans Arena**

"This is too easy..." Captain America muttered to himself as he and his party of heroes raced through the halls of the arena. "Something's wrong..."

"Perhaps Mojo was so arrogant that he did not believe we'd get to the inducer." Ramada suggested.

"Nah, that ain't Mojo's style, babe." Razor shook his head. "He's a cunning ol' fat piece of crap."

"I have to agree with Cap, Ramada." Iron Fist concurred. "Mojo has a trap set for us. But what could it be?"

"I don't like this." Carol frowned as she flew alongside them. She growled. "Stupid damn penguins! Leave me alone!"

"Ignore the penguins, babe. They're not your friends." Razor snickered.

"Shut up, Razor." Warbird grumbled.

"Cap, I just detected a strange energy signature." Iron Man announced. "It's coming from the basketball court!"

"Yeah, there's going to be a Cavaliers game tonight!" Razor remembered. "The Kid of Rock plans to TiVo it!"

"If we don't stop the device, you won't get to watch that game." Cap reminded sternly. Razor groaned.

"Give the Kid of Rock a break! Just because there was no NBA in your day..." **(2)**

"True, but basketball was invented in 1891. It was around in my day." Cap countered.

"Yeah, but the Kid of Rock bets they never had the hook or three-point shot." Razor grumbled.

"Razor, which way to the court? None of us ever been here before?" Venom wondered.

"This way! Follow the flying rockstar!" Razor laughed as he flew around the corner. The other heroes followed him.

"Hurry up, heroes!" Mojo taunted. "You only have an hour left."

"How is he doing that?" Iron Man wondered.

"It wouldn't surprise the Kid of Rock if he has some weird Mojoworld gadget for that." Razor grunted. "Right this way!" The Fearless One waved. The group rushed into the basketball court. Standing right in the center of the court was the Insanity Inducer. The device was red in color, and shaped like a bullet with a rounded tip, about the size of a filing cabinet. Cap gasped.

"The device...I recognize it!"

"Huh?" Iron Man blinked.

"From where, Cap?" Iron Fist wondered.

"It looks like it was updated, but it's still recognizable..." Cap explained.

"What is the device, Captain?" Ramada wondered.

"I never thought I'd see it again..." Cap blinked. "It's...a Madbomb!"

_**Well, well, well! There's a revelation or you! What insanity will happen next? Where did Mojo get a Madbomb? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!**_

**(1) – Ahh, that Homer Simpson. He has a line for every occasion.**

**(2) – The NBA was formed in 1946. In the Marvel Universe, Captain America was frozen in the closing days of WWII, in 1945.**


End file.
